Merry Christmas

Christmas Lights as the sunsets at the Canal in Long Beach California

We should not wait until a special date or a holiday in our lives to be thankful.

If you are fortunate enough to have the gifts of friends and family who love you that is gift from God, to be embraced with each new sunrise.

Merry Christmas and God Bless You and Your Family!

Susan

The Susan Murphy Milano Show: Guest Criminal Profiler and Author Pat Brown Decemeber 15, 2010 at 4:00 PM EST

The Susan Murphy Milano Show

“Time’s Up!”

Criminal Profiler, Pat Brown joins “The Jane Wayne of Justice”  Each approaches cases in ways that are “outside the box!”  Comparing notes should make some interesting discussion!

Pat Brown is a nationally known criminal profiler, television commentator, author, and founder and CEO of The Sexual Homicide Exchange and The Pat Brown Criminal Profiling Agency.

Pat has provided crime commentary and profiling and forensic analysis in over one thousand television and radio appearances in the United States and across the globe. She can be seen regularly on the cable television news programs, CNN, MSNBC and FOX, and is a frequent guest of the Today Show, the CBS Early Show, Larry King, Inside Edition, Nancy Grace, Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell, Joy Behar, and America’s Most Wanted.

For four seasons, Pat Brown profiled crimes on the weekly Court TV crime show, I, Detective. Criminal Profiler Pat Brown is the host of the 2004 Discovery Channel documentary, The Mysterious Death of Cleopatra. In the spring of 2006, Pat went inside one of Florida’s maximum-security prisons to interview a child murderer for the Discovery Channel series, Evil Minds. In 2010 she profiled a new Jack the Ripper suspect for Investigation Discovery’s Mystery Files. She is the author ofThe Profiler: My Life Hunting Serial Killers and Psychpaths (Hyperion Voice 2010) and Killing for Sport: Inside the Minds of Serial Killers (Phoenix Books 2003), and is a contract writer for Crime Library.

Pat contributed special feature content included in the 2005 home DVD edition of Profiler: Season Two and the 15th Anniversary Edition, 2006 DVD release of Quentin Tarantino’s crime classic, Reservoir Dogs.

Wednesday, December 15 at 4pm ET on Here Women Talk broadcast by the Zeus Radio Network

Known as the “Jane Wayne of Justice,” Susan Murphy Milano always stands up as a voice for those who are silenced in a world of intimidation and violence within their homes and in courtrooms across the country.

Wednesdays at 4pm Eastern
The Susan Murphy Milano Show.

Live from:

Hear Women Talk Network on Zeus Radio!

If you missed the show,  you can listen to the archive or download the podcast here:

Here Women Talk is a fresh, new spot for women to socialize, inspire  and learn from each other.  I know you will want to join in the interactive social network as well as listen to the radio broadcast each week.  Join us in the chat room, socialize and ask questions!

http://herewomentalk.com
http://herewometalksocial.com

[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/  She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.  

Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth  http://www.therothshow.com/ ]

"Time's Up" Stop Being a Victim

There are no more excuses to stay in a relationship where your safety continues to be hanging by a thread. Waking up day after day without a plan of how to leave the relationship can be deadly. The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction (http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/) offers exit planning strategies to prevent you from becoming an abuse statistic or the victim of Intimate Partner Homicide. If the Institute can help you strategize to get ready for disconnection, please let us. Most of all, be safe.


Before you announce your thoughts about how unhappy you are or that the relationship simply is not working for you any longer, have a solid plan in place. Women often fail to plan ahead in leaving, underestimating what the abuser can and actually ends up doing.

Susan Powell Example

Susan Powell, a married stockbroker and is a devoted mother to two young sons. Over time, Susan’s husband Josh became more and more controlling. Their marriage deteriorated. At this point in a relationship, many abusers begin to formulate a plan born of anger and desperation.

This plan remains in the abuser’s mind until they notice subtle signs of movement. Perhaps Josh walked into the room as Susan whispered into the phone. When she realized he was in the room, she quickly changed her tone or ended the phone call. Perhaps he learned Susan set up a bank account, and decided she was hiding money so she and the kids could leave.

The signs of movement spark Josh, or any potential abuser, to think of the next level. They think to themselves, “OK, she is going to leave me. I will not let that happen”. He acts as though nothing is wrong. When she goes to sleep, however, Josh leaps into action. He may:

•rummage through her car looking for evidence of her plan–a bank receipt or an unusual transaction or charge
•check her cell phone for any unusual numbers he does not recognize
•search her computer, checking to see which websites she visited

He finds something. Inwardly his anger skyrockets and his heart races. Outwardly, he remains calm and says nothing to Susan. A smile comes to his face. He “caught her,” and he figures in the future, she will pay one way or another.

Susan begins to email a trusted circle of friends about Josh’s abuse and threats. Maybe she keeps a detailed log containing dates and times of the incidents.

Next, Josh does what I label the “smell change.” Susan acts strangely. Josh, like most abusers, literally senses, or “smells” when his environment has shifted. Perhaps Susan verbalizes her unhappiness more often. Maybe she stands up for herself during a fight, where months before she would have backed down and gone to her room without incident.

Most abused women have difficulty hiding that “spark of empowerment” from a clever abuser. The abuser smells the spark, like a fox scents prey as he enters a coop full of chickens.

On December 7, 2009, Susan Powell of Utah disappeared. Law enforcement personnel consider her husband Josh a person of interest.

Susan Powell’s case appears no different from millions of cases of intimate partner violence we never hear about, until women disappear and someone finds their bodies. Often no “official documentation” of the abuse exists because the terrified women did not contact police or obtain a court order of protection. Why? Better than anyone, the victims know the court order of protection would not help. The court order of protection would only escalate the level of danger.

Part 1of the article Here- http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/caution-relationship-lane-changes-part-1



[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/  She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.  Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth  http://www.therothshow.com/) ]

Report From Oklahoma

Due to sketchy internet service in Oklahoma, information and updates will be called in daily to The Roth Show.

There is a press conference today, October 15, at 2PM Central time at the offices of Attorney, Jaye Mendros where representatives from the Turner, Deviney and Horton families as well as Justice for the Dead will attend in Oklahoma City.

We hope that the reports of the injustices to these families and the alleged corruption in Garvin County, Oklahoma will travel to national news shows such as Bill O'Reilly, who is known to call out instances of corruption in our country on FOX News show, The O'Reilly Factor.

Welcoming Susan Murphy-Milano to Oklahoma

Attorney Jaye Mendros

With the arrival of a nationally-known author, media personality and activist, we begin the process of shedding more light on some of Oklahoma's darkest secrets. For years, families have struggled in this State with a "good ole boy" system that delivered not justice, but cold justice.

Having practiced criminal law and worked on homicides in Oklahoma County for years, I was aware that we had a growing problem with our State Medical Examiner's Office. What I did not know until I met Joe and Donna Turner in September of 2009 was how the ME's Office's incompetence, stubborness and unwillingness to do its job has allowed corruption to thrive with law enforcement in smaller counties.

When a murder is covered up, or inadequately investigated, and an erroneous cause/manner of death determination is made by a good ole' boy who is NOT a physician, the ME's Office should NOT turn a blind eye and rubber stamp that determination. (read entire article at Cold Justice)

Chicago Sun Times Gives Coward A Platform: Ignoring Stacy Peterson and Kathleen Savio

To Michael Sneed and the editors of the Chicago Sun Times the war in the home is not a recognized battle, yet intimate partner violence and homicide should be taken seriously. Printing the letter from Drew Peterson was not only irresponsible, but, a blatant disregard for these two silenced women’s lives.

You as responsible recorders of the truth need to fully comprehend the battlefield happened in a home where 4 young children were living, that neither Stacy Peterson or Kathleen Savio were equipped to handle, in my opinion not only an abusive intimate partner, but a man who was legally authorized to wear a badge and carry a gun.

This is not a game. It is a real life battle involving families, children, mothers, and in this particular set of circumstances 2 women who behind closed doors, lived abusive and violent relationships. Has the Chicago Sun-Time’s had a momentary loss of memory in exchange for advertising dollars all for the sake of increased readership? In case you do not remember, Kathleen Savio’s permanent residence is now in a cemetery and Stacy Peterson’s is yet to be officially determined.

For Kathleen her violent life is now marked by a single headstone tablet coldly displaying the name, date of birth through the date she died -March 1, 2004. And now she has been resurrected in memory super glued at the hip with everything associated with Drew Peterson. Wasn’t Kathleen Savio abused enough during her lifetime? Why do you as a newspaper have to bury her defeat further in printing her alleged killers words?

I would like to ask the Chicago Sun Times if this was your wife, daughter, sister, mother, would you have allowed this letter to be published? The answer is no!

Look around folks, you cannot pick up a paper or turn on the news without hearing how another woman was murdered by someone they new intimately. You can't help but read nasty comments on the internet, not from strangers, but, often by friends and relatives who knew both the victim and the abuser, trying to defend the actions of a cold blooded killer, and blaming a victim because she ending the relationship, filed for divorce or took the children. Has anyone ever asked the question, "why?" Or is it easier for a well established newspaper to jump on the bandwagon by ignoring justice, all for the sake of blood money?

"If you are outraged by the Chicago Sun Times and their disregard for the families of Kathleen Savio and Stacy Peterson by making headlines of Drew Peterson's jailhouse letters, do your part and let them know by calling, emailing or faxing. Nothing will change unless action is taken. The columnist, Micheal Sneed and her editor, should know that by making decisions based on headlines and readership instead of integrity and ethics is one of the reasons the public fuels people like Drew Peterson."

Fax number to the Chicago Sun Times is 312-321-3084

Michael Sneeds direct email address is : msneed@suntimes.com

Andrew Hermann, Managing Editor 312-321-3000

Zach Finken, News Editor 312-321-3000

Part 5 : The Series Continue's on the Times Up Blog, Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Crime Wire Investigates: Live Tuesday July 27, 2010 at 9:00 PM EST

Tonight's show the unsolved murder of Billy Smolinski, 31, who vanished on August 24, 2004. We will be joined by national missing persons victim rights crusader Janice Smolinski. And she will also explain the "The Help Find The Missing Act" that will impact how missing persons cases are handled.

And the case of Kellisue Ackernecht who went missing nearly 2 years ago in Johnstown, N.Y., on September 30, 2008. Is is a case of intimate partner homicide? Joining on the show is family spokeswoman Kalley Lee.

Filling in as co-host this week on the show is Prosecutor and Women In Crime Ink Contributor Donna Pendergast.

Join co-hosts Denny Griffin retired Police Investigator and Author, Susan Murphy-Milano Violence Expert and Author and Vito Colucci Jr.Private Eve and Author. Along with the Crime Wire noted experts and attorney's Mickey Sherman, Fox News Analyst Lis Wiehl, Al Dressler, Peter Hyatt, Donna Pendergast and Sheryl McCollum each week.

You can listen live and participate in the chat room by going to the direct link:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/crimewire/2010/07/27/crime-wire-investigates

You may call in with questions or comments: 646-478-0982

Kathryn Casey and Diane Fanning TODAY on the Susan Murphy-Milano Show

Joining us for the hour on "The Susan Murphy-Milano Show"  is Kathryn Casey, best selling true crime author of the new book "Shattered" The True Story of a Mother's Love, a Husband's Betrayal, and a Cold-Blooded Texas Murder. www.kathryncasey.com

And Edgar Award nominated True Crime Author, Diane Fanning, author of Mommy's Little Girl: Casey Anthony and Her Daughter Caylee's Tragic Fate. www.dianefanning.com

Murder, mayhem, betrayal and violence and the women who write about it!  Once again, we will visit with two outstanding true crime authors from Women In Crime Ink!

To listen to the show live go to the direct link, join us in the live chat room:  CLICK HERE

To call in with questions or comments:   347-326-9337

Crime Wire Team Live: Tune in Tuesday June 8, 2010 at 9:00 PM EST and 8:00 PM CST

An elite team of veteran investigation experts, along with noted crime consultants, television legal analysts and attorneys often featured on the popular news programs, join together for families of violent crime to find answers and seek justice. The Crime Wire team, Vito Colucci Jr., Private Eye and author, Denny Griffin, retired Investigator and Author, and, Susan Murphy Milano, Violence Expert and Author. are there-- on top of the crime -- at the top of their game.

Television producer, Matthew Houbrick , was found dead at the Drake Hotel in Chicago on November 14, 2005. He was in Chicago working on the FOX TV series Prison Break. His death made world-wide headlines, but the truth of what really happened; how he died, why Chicago Police failed to properly investigate, has been silenced. Joining us on the show to discuss the facts in the case, as he knows them, is Michael Houbrick, identical twin brother of the deceased.

 Lacey Gaines was found dead in her home on December 7, 2009, and no one has been named a suspect or a person of interest in her brutal murder. National advocate and family member, Cherry Simpson, will provide information and a time-line leading up to her neice's homicide.

Crime Wire Team Consultants Peter Hyatt and Al Dressler will also join us and weigh in on the cases.

Date: June 8, 2010

Time: 9:00 PM EST 8:00 PM CST 6:00 PM PST

The number to call in with questions or comments is 1-646-478-0982

We profile a variety of cases each week, including cold cases, suspicious deaths and current solved and unsolved murders.

If you are interested in having your case brought to the attention of the Crime Wire Team you can email us with cases, suggestions and comments at our email: thecrimewire@gmail.com

Link to Listen to the show Live http://www.blogtalkradio.com/crimewire

Our goal is to bring attention to those cases in which justice may not have been served and the families of the victims don’t have the resources to pursue the investigations on their own. Together we can make a difference.

Let's Make A Deal

Sandra Viramontes, 30, of Chicago, was beaten and bruised covering 90 percent of her body. No one could say for sure how many hours she was unconscious before her mother received a call from her son-in-law saying her daughter needed medical attention.

When the mother walked in to her daughter’s home Luis Viramontes, the son-in-law was gone in his place a relative who stood by and did nothing until the mother shouted to call 911. But it was too late.

At the hospital a trauma doctor informed the family “they had never seen anybody get a beating like that before.” Sandra’s had been beaten and bruised over 90 percent of her body. After the doctors ran tests the family was told her injuries were not survivable and two weeks later while in her mother’s she was taken off life support.

According to the Chicago Tribune Luis Viramontes was initially charged with aggravated domestic battery and attempted murder, according to court records. He turned himself 3 days after the beating to police on Jan. 13, 2010. He was out on $500,000 and ordered to wear a GPS monitoring device bail but was back in police custody Sunday, waiting to be charged with her murder.

My question is how the hell was this bozo allowed bail in the first place? Her condition was critical and she was not going to survive her injuries. Maybe the judge who set his bond did not consider Luis, "oh so gentle" as dangerous.

This is a classic case of senseless and ignorant denial. It makes my skin crawl when I read comments made by members or friends of a killer’s family, “he always been real gentle.” Another comment as if to set the tone when this case goes to trial, “Luis couldn’t sleep or he cried nonstop.” Was this before during and after the beating? Or was it only when this cowardly individual realized he’d better have a few witnesses to testify as to his acting out the part of showing remorse for murdering his wife and the mother of his two young children? He probably thought it all out and carefully deciding what he would tell the person who will represent him that he lost control or it was an accident he had no intention of hurting her. The defense attorney will respond something like “I’ll talk to the State and see if we can get the charges reduced to manslaughter or second degree murder. Or maybe he’ll get his client a deal. You know so he will not have to spend the rest of his life in prison.

To the family of Luis Viramontes' who are having trouble reconciling the charges against him with what they know about his personality. That is the million dollar question for which the answer is clear. Your “loving, gentle and warm” blood relative is nothing but a cold blooded murderer.

My Prayer’s are for Sandra’s children and her family. When Luis Viramontes killed Sandra he removed what will never be replaced, a precious life!

Lacey Gaines: Fighting Beyond the Grave For Justice

Lacey Gaines was barely 20 years of age when her body was discovered on the kitchen floor of her apartment. The year before she gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Chances are Lacey left the baby with a relative that day because she felt something in her "gut" was wrong. At 7 p.m. the evening of December 7, 2009 Lacey was pronounced dead at a local hospital.

In early 2009, she sought direction and support from various family members because she was a victim of domestic violence. Like many women, Lacey worked two jobs to support she and her child. She was an excellent mother.

On March 18, 2009, in a Cook County, Illinois court, a petition to establish parentage was filed by the baby's father, SANCHEZ REGELIO [Sanchez has used several alias in the past and I am not sure what legal name he is currently using]. The case link is HERE.  Everyone called him "Daniel" including Lacey. Sanchez took the paternity test and was proven to be the baby's father sometime in May of 2009.

Briefly in 2009, I spoke with Lacey on the phone and she was terrified of Daniel, the child's father. At that time, Lacey indicated she needed more time to think about the best plan of action for her safety, which is very common for any woman being abused, and I did not hear back from her.

A huge red flag, at least in my opinion, is the fact that Sanchez allowed the paternity case to go off the court call on September 25, 2009. Indicating to me that he was up to no good.

Lacey had begun a new life for herself by moving to a new residence and beginning a relationship with a man who did not abuse her. He was good for she and her son. Lacey hoped one day in the near future, after the couple married, he could adopt the child as his own.


Sanchez, according to sources, grew increasingly violent over the new relationship, abused Lacey each time he saw her or picked up the child during visitation, fitting the profile of "if I can't have her no one can." Remember Lacey ended the relationship and Sanchez was enraged over her decision to go on with her life minus this coward. Most abuser's cannot handle rejection, this includes Sanchez.

Now, a month after Lacey Gaines murder, police in the town of Justice, Illinois still do no have a person in custody. Why does it take so long for justice in cases of intimate family homicide?

Lacey Gaines did not deserve to die. In my opinion she stood up to the abuser and for that her life was taken away. Her son will never know the courage and warmth of this amazing woman.


I am asking that you take a moment to sign a petition for Justice for Lacey [pictured on there left] at:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/laceygainesmurder

Police are asking for the public's assistance. All tips are anonymous.

Please, if you have information about this murder please call: 

Justice Police Department
Website: http://villageofjustice.org
Thomas C Bockmann, Deputy Chief of Police
7800 S Archer Rd, Justice, IL 60458
Ph: 708 458-2191

A Bright Journey

With this spectacular view it will be difficult for me to leave and return on January 7th to freezing temperatures in the midwest. I am looking forward to an exciting year.

In 2010, my new book "Time's Up A Guide On How To Leave and Survive Stalking Relationships;" will be available on line and in bookstores. It is a book that will save lives for those involved in violent relationships.

In the New Year I return to my radio show on blogtalk radio January 13, 2010 for a weekly hour filled with guests and experts from around the globe as we enlighten and provide prevention strategies for those whose world has been turned inside out by child custody, divorce, abuse, maternal deprivation, family violence, stalking and homicide related crimes.

In 2010, I hope you continue to follow my crime perspective, rants and opinion's on Women In Crime Ink and the on blog Time's Up with a unique insight for crime survivor's and loved ones left behind seeking a place of undertanding and support.

Together, we are making a difference.

I look forward to seeing you all in 2010!

[Side note:] A very special Happy Birthday to Author and Attorney Robin Sax!

"Another Casuality of War"

In a guest book on the Internet filled with family, friends and strangers Pamela Taschuk life is remembered for her courage and strength for moving forward away from her abusive husband knowing the consequences. The 48-year-old was a juvenile probation officer and social worker. Pamela was murdered a week ago today. Like thousands of other women who lose their lives daily from domestic violence in the home, Pamela was in constant fear of her husband. In September filed for divorce and obtained a court order keep her husband Allen away .

Police responded to the home some 48 times over a 15 year period. Allen Taschuk was arrested a total of 3 times in those 15years, the most recent incident at the end of August police arrested him allowing Pamela to obtain a court order of protection.

Unfortunately,, there is no one size fits all plan for your safety. But there are steps you can take to increase your chances. If your instinct kicks in and you feel contacting the police will be too dangerous, trust those instincts. Victims are in a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” decision. Any legal action you take is not a guarantee of protection from further abuse. The abuser could care less, and obtaining a court order of protection may increase the violence or cause serious injury or cost you your life. You must weigh the consequences.

If my own mother Roberta Murphy murdered in 1989 by my police officer father were alive today she would tell you to have a strong plan of action before contacting a divorce lawyer or obtaining a court order of protection.

If you are or know someone in an abusive relationship help is a phone call away. Services are confidential and free of charge. Contact the National Coalition at 1-800-799 SAFE.

Suggest Books:

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker

Defending Our Lives: getting aaway from domestic violence & staying safe

Moving Out Moving On: When a Relationship Goes Wrong

Is My Kid Being Bullied?

Out of shame and/or fear, a lot of times children do not tell adults that they are being bullied. Adults working with children should be vigilant about the possible signs that they are being bullied at school. For parents, these are tell-tale signs that a child may be victimized by bullying.

Children may:

•Be frightened to walk to or from school or be unwilling to go to school at all •Ask adults to drive them to or from school or change their route to school

•Begin to do poorly in their school work

•Arrive home regularly with clothes torn and/or books or belongings missing

•Continually lose pocket money

•Become withdrawn, start stammering, stop eating, attempt suicide

•Cry themselves to sleep and/or have nightmares and call out, “leave me alone”

•Have unexplained bruises, scratches, cuts

•Have unexplained psychosomatic complaint (e.g. feels ill in the morning frequent stomach pains, headaches, chronic fatigue.)

•Refuse to say what is wrong

•Give improbable excuses to explain of the above

•Not have a single good friend to share free time with, never bring classmates home, never get invited to parties.

How To Help Your Child?

Researchers indicate some children are more prone to victimization because they are anxious, fearful and unassertive by disposition. They are generally weaker physically and are more over protected at home. Their demeanor signals to the bully that they will not retaliate or be able to defend themselves effectively when picked on. But this should not be taken as the victims’ fault. Not all children having this disposition will end up being bullied, because there may not be a bully around to make life miserable for them.

The problem lies with the bully himself/herself. Children who bully others pick on people because they need a target-victim. They will also try to find an excuse to justify their action that the victim is different and therefore deserves to be picked on (e.g. speaking with an accent, being overweight, having pimples). Children with special needs are more vulnerable, because they may have specific problems such as poor coordination, speech or language difficulties. Sometimes the bullying can be worse if the child’s special needs are not immediately apparent (e.g. hearing loss or cystic fibrosis).

School staff should be made aware that these children need extra help. In some cases, preparing all the children by discussing issued generally may avoid problems. It is important for children being bullied to know that it is not their fault, and to realize that the bullies are not omnipotent. It is natural for victimized children to feel scared, completely helpless and quite alone. They need to be told that the situation is not hopeless and that adults will intervene on their behalf, and they should not feel guilty or shameful. They need to understand that by not telling anyone they are fueling the power of the bully and reinforcing his/her aggressive acts. It may be encouraging for kids to know that it is possible to succeed in life in spite of being bullied at school.

Many well-known people were bullied when they were young. Here’s a brief list: Phil Collins (singer), Harrison Ford (actor), Mel Gibson (actor), Daryl Hannah (actress), Tom Cruise (actor), Michelle Pfeiffer (actress), Dudley Moore (actor), Neil Kinnock (politician), Frank Bruno (boxer), Janice Long (DJ), Amanda Ross (TV presenter), Duncan Goodhew (Olympic swimmer), Michael Grade (Head of Channel 4 TV in the U.K.), Sir John Harvey Jones (industrialist & TV presenter), Ralph Fiennes (Polar explorer). No doubt the list can go on. There is a lot that parents can do to safeguard your child against being the target of bullying.

Consider the following tips:

•Being a social isolate highly increases the probability of being bullied. Having even one friend on the playground is one of the most powerful protective, especially for boys. Increasing the social opportunities of your kids is the most useful prevention. Invite other children, and groups of children, over to the house. Encourage sleepovers. Widen your child’s social circle by encouraging him/her to participate in group and community activities (e.g. the Scouts/Guides, volunteering at the Food Bank).

•A bully preys on children who signal fearfulness and submissiveness. Teach assertiveness, which is different from being aggressive. Raise your child’s self-confidence. Enroll him/her in classes and groups that develop competencies in activities that are valued by peers (e.g. music, art work, computer skills). Help your child develop interests in areas which enable him/her to feel good about himself/herself.

•Do not teach your child to fight back. Fighting back is the worst defense. In many instances the victimized children are actually physically smaller and weaker than the bully and fighting back can result in real physical harm. Besides, not all bullying takes the form of physical aggression. Counter-aggression to any form of bullying actually increases the likelihood of continued aggression. This also answers a question often raised by parents, which is whether martial arts training is useful. The foregoing argument applies here, that it is not advisable to teach your child to fight back at a bully. On the other hand, martial arts training in its essence serves to bring out other valuable qualities other than brute force or vengeance. They teach self-restraint, self-discipline and confidence in your own physical potentials-all are important signals to the bully that you are not an easy prey.

•Discuss possible bullying scenarios with your child and how best to handle those situations. In encountering a bullying incident, it is natural for children to feel panicky and therefore play into the hands of the bully. Responding appropriately (for example, how to stay calm, using strategies like humor or verbal comeback to defuse the situation, or telling the bully assertively to leave one alone) signals to the bully that you are not an easy target, and decreases the chance of being further victimized.

•It is important to know what goes on in the school day for your child. Make it a routine to ask about his/her day in school; ask what upsets them, not only what they are happy about.

•It is important to know what goes on in the school day for your child. Make it a routine to ask about his/her day in school; ask what upsets them, not only what they are happy about.

•Establish parent networks at the school and support groups with other parents and perhaps church members. Talk to other parents; where there is one victimized child there are likely to be others.

Resources: http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html

http://www.onetoughjob.org/child-care/school-safety/i-think-my-child-is-being-bullied-what-should-i-do

http://www.safechild.org/bullies.htm

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/179452/what_to_do_if_another_child_is_bullying.html?cat=9

Disturbing Defense of a Killer

On September 19, 2008, 26 year- old Amy Yager was buried. She had been shot by her husband Jeff David Yager. I posted a story on her brief, tragic life HERE. On July 12, 2009, a person who claims to be related to the shooter- posted a disturbing comment below:

brother of jeff david yager "allen micheal bolton" said...
Everyone thinks they knew Amy? Well i lived with her for 3months and you people say David was the controlling one. Hes my big brother but im not gonna make excuses or tell the whole truth because you dumb ass people only believe he is the bad person anyway when you dont know shit. Then people want to blame his family and friends and thats stupid because yall dont know any of us and thats the only reason yall talkin shit. And yall think she was so damn perfect when she was further away from that than anyone I know. She was controlling and cried about every little thing that wasnt the way she wanted it to be. David let her do whatever she wanted no matter how stupid it was and she always got her way. I would not have put up with half the shit he put up with but thats just the kind of person he is. Really I just want to say everyone needs to shut the fuck up and close their dick suckers and if you got a problem with that 3916HWY17 South Millen G.A 30442. 478-982-7791. Ill be waiting.
July 12, 2009 6:30 PM

Obviously, the relative is angry because someone he cared about is in prison awaiting trial for the murder of his wife. A person does not have to display bad behavior in public as we have seen in numerous cases to commit criminal acts. The characteristics of abusers is to be sweet like sugar on the outside and sour the grapes when no one is looking. And friends or relatives are usually the last to acknowledge their loved one is capable of these types of crimes and almost always manufacture an excuse for "what drove this individual" to commit a crime.

I remember the night I found my parents bodies and my father's police detective partner was on the crime scene. The first words out of his mouth were "your mother drove him to this." I looked at the veteran detective who was obviously hurt his best friend and partner was gone and I responded "no one drives anyone to pull a trigger."

I could attack this ignorant person for posting such comments and using inappropriate language, but that is not important. What is important is that this person believes as many close to a killer that the actions of their loved one was somehow justified . That the person murdered in this case Amy Yager deserved what she got, death.

No one deserves to lose their life, no one!

At the end of his commentary the person leave's their information on where to contact him and closes by saying "I'll be waiting." My hope is that he the poster does not go out and hurt someone and receives the help he needs. I think we would all agree, that is certainly where this troubled and disturbed person is headed.

The Unsolved Murder of Brittany Phillips

Brutally raped and murdered, Brittany Phillips will never get the chance to experience her mother's warm embrace again. While away at Tulsa Community College, Brittany and her mother, Margaret Zingman, regularly talked every Monday and Thursday. These weekly phone calls would soon end the night a police officer knocked onDr. Margaret Zingman's door, to inform her that her daughter had been raped and murdered.

For Brittany's mother, such violence against her daughter is all too familiar. "All my work did not prepare me for the events of Sept. 30, 2004"

As a psychologist at Mabel Basset Correctional Center, and a trauma therapist for 17 years, Dr.Margaret Zingman could never imagine her personal experiences and work with other victims would run parallel with the death of her daughter. The stories she hears on a daily basis from the women she works with is now a harsh reality for her. Join us as we hear from a remarkable mother caravanning across the county to create awareness and “catch a killer.”

On Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at 11:00 pm EST on Justice Interrupted are guests also include Author and Journalist Cathy Scott and Best-Selling Author Diane Fanning.

Join Hosts: Robin Sax Prosecutor and Author, Author Stacy Dittrich, Advocate and Author Susan Murphy-Milano as they provide justice for those whose lives have been interrupted by rape, murder, child sexual predators, strange and unexplained disappearances.........To listen live go to: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/justiceinterrupted and click on the "Click To Listen" icon.You might want to refresh your page because the icon will not show until the show starts.





Call in live at: 914-338-0663 to participate in the show

Alice Doesn't Live There Anymore

The murder of Alice Morrin, wife mother and former fox news assignment editor was one of the most viewed tragedies of the day. She died on Sunday evening as she was texting a friend for help.

You could feel the fear as Alice says to the friend she is texting, where her children are in the home while she is attempting to escape upstairs as her husband has both a knife and a shotgun in his possession, shouting in anger his intentions to kill her. Alice’s mind no doubt races to thoughts of her 2 daughters hiding, hoping they are safe in the house. We do not know what Alice was thinking, but we do know she was pleading for her life.

We will never know what a woman counting moments like the ticking of a second hand on a watch about to be killed is thinking. Or the days, hours and years building up to a life of fear resulting in an unimaginable tragedy.

This is not a story but a human being who fought for her life literally with her last breath. This is a tragedy most would rather not read or gloss over and pretend they understand what it is like to live and wear fear like a garment of clothing that is virtually impossible to remove. Or criticize and perhaps points fingers in blame thinking “Alice was smart enough” or Alice should have had the sense to get out sooner” or if only Alice had told someone she might still be alive.” If only, if only, if only-are words that have no meaning to a victim of domestic violence often forced into a powerless life. Alice Morrin was in the middle of a divorce, she could no longer live her life in fear. Many women are not prepared as they end the relationship, often dropping their guard down because they feel a false sense of empowerment or security in knowing freedom is around the corner.

Seeking a divorce is dangerous unless a self defense strategy to remain alive is included prior to seeking the services of an attorney or filing the paperwork yourself to end the relationship.

Alice Morrin will never fix another meal for her daughters. Alice will never help her daughter's with their homework assignments. Alice will not be available in person to celebrate her daughters birthdays.

Alice has a new address, permanent residency in a cemetary.

If you are in an abusive relationship, you need a plan, not a cemetary plot!

Moving out, Moving on will guide you through the necessary steps of ending a relationship safely.

You may purchase your copy HERE

One By One 6 women Confront Serial Rapist

As prosecutors will tell you, it is rare when a serial rapist is finally brought to justice where victims are alive and able to come forward to witness justice.

One by one, in a Wisconsin courtroom, 6 women confronted the serial rapist, calling him an animal who should die in prison for attacking them.

"You are nothing but an evil bastard," one woman said.

"I am a different person because of this monster," a second woman said.

"Today is the day you become history. I am taking my life back, and you have lost yours,"
a third woman said.

"I constantly look in my rearview mirror to see if anyone is following me," a fourth woman said.
"All of us victims have to deal with this for the rest our lives," a fifth woman said.

"(He) is a self-centered, self-serving opportunistic criminal," the last woman said.

Michael R. Huber, 33, was sentenced in Rock County Court on Friday to 195 years in prison followed by 60 years extended supervision for six felony charges of first-degree sexual assault.

The courtroom erupted in applause after Huber was sentenced. People stood and hugged. Many cried. One woman shouted to Huber, "Rot in hell," and a man shouted, "Yeah."

Huber admitted to six home invasions and sometimes rapes from 1998 to 2005, but he was only charged in two of the cases, attorneys said. He was arrested in February 2008 after a 10-year investigation.
Each of the women spoke on how the attacks changed their lives.
Raped Aug. 3, 1998, when she was 26—said she hasn't been a patient mother, loving sister or good daughter since her rape. She suffers from constant fear, nightmares, anxiety and self-doubt. She added she has had problems with alcohol and prescription drugs. Its hard to trust people or God, she said, and counseling hasn't helped.

The second victim—raped July 9, 1999, when she was 23—said that night changed her forever.
Relationships seem out of reach, she said, and it's difficult to let anyone into her heart.
Fear is constant, she said. "I don't sleep sound," she said, fighting tears. "I wake in the middle of the night. I lock my bedroom door."

The third victim—attacked Oct. 14, 2000, when she was 33—said her then 7-year-old son saved her from getting raped. Her son called 911, causing Huber to flee, she said.
The boy remembers his mom and sister being in danger, she said, and he remembers making that phone call. "My son is my hero," the woman said. "I want the world to know how proud of him I was that day."

The fourth victim—attacked May 8, 2001, when she was 31—said the incident has made her stronger. "You have changed the course of my life in a matter of moments," she said. "But I want you to know you have not ruined me." The woman, who was not raped, told Huber he is "pathetic," "pitiful" and an "animal." "I hope your own reflection makes you sick," she said.
She asked the judge to lock him in prison for life. "You will never be able to lay your dirty hands on another woman as long as you live," she said. "You will be locked up like the animal you are."

The fifth victim—raped Aug. 20, 2003, when she was 13—said the victims have to deal with their attacks forever. The teen's mother, crying in the courtroom, said her daughter double checks the locks obsessively and remains afraid. She said her daughter is tough, smart and determined not to let her rape change her. She called raping a teen girl unforgivable.
"Michael Huber robbed her of her innocence," the woman said.

The sixth victim—attacked July 27, 2005 when she was 37—said Huber bragged about his crimes and eluding police while in her home. Huber didn't rape her, but he tormented her in a cat-and-mouse game of questions about her life, she said.
Huber appeared in court shackled around his wrists and ankles. He had a shaved head and trimmed beard. He wore an orange jail uniform. He was wearing his wedding ring.
He looked forward and down during most of the hearing.
Huber told the judge and victims he had selfish desires.

"Sex with beautiful women—not rape—was my only motive," he said. "Now I see my few minutes of pleasure has caused you a lifetime of pain."

Huber, his voice quivering, said sorry to his victims, sorry to the residents and sorry to his family, including his wife and young daughter. He said he prays for forgiveness. "My greed and stupidity has ruined lives," he said.

Huber quit committing the crimes in 2005 after getting married and having a daughter according to court documents.

Judge James Daley, while sentencing Huber, said he doesn't believe Huber stopped the rapes in 2005. He said many sexual assaults go unreported. "You, Mr. Huber, should be imprisoned at least as long as these victims are imprisoned," Daley said. "For them, it's a life sentence."

Susan Murphy Milano: Breaking My Own Chains of Fear

Suddenly, the divorce was being contested. The son’s father had a new expensive attorney representing him. She wondered how he could afford a four hundred dollar an hour attorney from the largest law firm in town.The woman was summoned to court on an emergency order filed by her husband’s lawyer. She could not figure out for the life of her what was happening. In court, both of their lawyers filed their appearances on behalf of their clients.

Immediately, the judge ordered the case sealed. The court determined she was a public figure, and it would not be in her child’s best interest if people had access to their personal information. The judge without a hearing granted the removal and temporary custody of her son to his father. The mother was devastated as any parent male or female when their own flesh and blood is ripped from their hearts.

They left out the courtroom, the woman asked to speak with her son’s father for a moment.“Why are you doing this? We had an agreement.” He smiled. “Had, meaning past tense.

We no longer have an agreement. All I am going to tell you is watch your back. You have pissed off a lot of people in this town who want to see you go down.” He excused himself and left.
Later that day, the woman met privately with someone from city government, hoping they would be able to provide answers to her questions.

“You have not only embarrassed the city, you cost them a tremendous amount of money in assisting families by filing wrongful deathlawsuits on their behalf.” “What are you talking about, she asked?” “You heard me,” said the city official.“Who is behind this?” she demanded to know.“I am not at liberty to disclose details. I will tell you that you better re-think how you are assisting your clients. Make sure you have release forms indicating you are an advocate, not a lawyer and signed by every single client. "Cause lady they ain’t finished with you yet." Lay low for awhile. I would not do any media interviews if I were you. Tighten your seat belt, you are in for a bumpy ride” The woman thanked him for his time and left. The woman’s divorce had turned into another war.

She had no strength left to fight this battle. Her son, like so many man and women who lose custody of their children as another way to manipulate and control their victims was now a casualty of the cruel and common tactics often used in divorce as one parent attempts to send the other out for slaughter. This experience was similar to what the woman witnessed while helping others to whom she had provided assistance, watching while abusers continued to victimize women and their children, as they were ending the relationship with the person. As with all battered women her emotional mental stability became a major issue before the judge in court, due to accusations from the son’s father, citing that she had grown up in a violent household and how her father had killed her mother in 1989. Yes, the woman I speak of is me.

“She’s crazy!” the lawyer said during the next status hearing in court, using newspaper articles about me advocating for other victims and my parents’ death certificates to make his irrelevant point. He waived them like a flag in front of the judge. Proving his ignorance of victimology he exclaimed “your Honor, we ask the court to consider the public life lived and led by the plaintiff.
She speaks, lives and breathes her parents’ tragedy. At this time we feel it is in the best interest of the minor child and his safety to ask that continued temporary custody be awarded to my client, the child’s father, until such time as Ms. Murphy-Milano can be seen by a psychiatrist to determine her fitness as a parent. Additionally, we have filed a motion with the court ordering a mental health evaluation.”

In disbelief my lawyer said “Your honor, I object. The only harm being done to the minor child is this child's father denying access to his mother. If council is so insistent on a mental health assessment, then I respectfully ask the court for an evaluation on Mr. Milano,” responded my lawyer. I sat at the table with my attorney, stunned by the lies from my son’s father. My attorney objected to the motion, saying there was no basis for the allegations the other side was presenting. “Conveniently taking what my client does to help others is not a valid reason to deny visitation or remove custody. Your Honor, the respondent has manufactured lies, there is no proof to back up these outrageous allegations,”said my attorney.“It’s best for the child that we err on the side of caution,” responded the judge. The judge ruled that both my son’s father and I schedule mental health evaluations with a person chosen by the courts. In the meantime, no decision would be made as to when I would be allowed to have visitation with my son. The judge wanted to wait until after the mandated evaluations.

I knew this process could take months. It was clear my son’s father was angry with me for ending the marriage, and he was going to use my son to teach me a painful lesson. Denying access to my son was devastating. Now I was in the same boat without oars to row, like many other women to whom I had provided assistance. More importantly, my son was a helpless pawn in his father’s sick game. With the tables reversed, I was alone. I had similar feelings when my mother died. My son had been ripped away from me. I knew where all of this was headed and I wanted no part of it. I was unable to fight both the legal system and now my son’s father.

Whoever was behind this master plan wanted me out of the way. The words my son’s father used in court were like daggers thrown at perfect aim, straight at my heart. Because the court records to my divorce had been sealed, any hope of regaining visitation or custody of my son was sealed as well. The powers that be knew the media would have no access to the divorce case file. And would likely not investigate what was happening in the divorce proceeding because the proceedings and records were closed off to the public.The legal system and the political machine were punishing me for refusing to play ball. The divorce was final with custody issues in reserve to be revisited at a later date.
Suddenly, I did not feel worthy as a mother. I questioned my faith in the legal system and in God.

People use fear to silence other people. For nearly 20 years that tactic has worked on me, until now. Pandora's box has been opened and without my knowledge. The 1993, seal on my divorce lifted and the contents now open to the public for which I have provided a link HERE for anyone interested. (Case Information Cook County, Illinois, Summary for Case Number 1993D012470)

I only learned the file was unsealed after receiving a phone call from a person from another State where I resided from 2000-2006. My son's father was well aware that I moved back to Illinois. And I have documentation of our correspondence from my son's father at my Cook County, Illinois, mailing address. Once again he has used a back handed method to have a legal case proceed without my knowledge. I was not legally or properly served. It also shows on the court docket computer screen that I "participated" in a few hearings which makes me wonder if my former husband had a woman in court pretending to be me?

Fear should have died with my father. Instead the power of the secrets that have held my heart in chains die as I press this send button, now.

Stay tuned to part two of this series "Disabling Secrets Empowers Our Truth" Monday, June 15, 2009.