ABC's Show "Private Practice" Sends Dangerous Message to Victims of Intimate Partner Violence

A long running television show on the ABC network "Private Practice" aired what I considered a dangerous episode for victims of intimate partner violence and homicide.  A woman married to a dangerous offender sustains serious injuries after being beaten by her husband.  In the hospital the victim talks about killing him.   One of the main characters in the show who plays a doctor brings the patient home with her because she has safety concerns for the woman.  The doctor in conversation with the victim tells her she has the power to leave basically without using violence.

The husband learns his wife is at the doctors home, storms in the front door, assaults the doctor knocking her out cold.  When the doctor comes too you see the victim over the husband, covered in blood, stabbing him repeatedly.

I realize it's "only" a television show, but clearly it sends the wrong message. The scene's of the abuse were incredibly scripted and played out as if they were actually happening.  The delivery was powerful.

I did not agree with the message "Private Practice" conveyed to viewers that it is okay to take matters into your own hands when you are married to a violent and dangerous psychopath.

Earlier today on the Show Time's Up, Tracey Murphy's real life was no different than the woman portraying the abuse victim on ABC's"Private Practice".  Her life was a living hell sustaining injuries that included broken bones, surgery and threats to her life if she ever left.  Ending the abuse was not easy, it took work, but Tracey got out, without committing murder.

Maybe if the shows writer and producers had consulted me I would have directed them to the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video found on the site Document The Abuse.com  or the book Time's Up.

Below is the podcast from today's Time's Up show.  I encourage anyone involved in a rocky and potentially lethal relationship to take a few minutes, download and listen when you have time.  Before you say out loud to anyone you relationship is over, you better have a plan.

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Document The Abuse contains vital information on how the EAA can support each case of abuse from the perspective of the first responders and advocates, to an appearance in court.  It explains the legal benefits to the abuse victim, whether they are able to testify or not, how their words are forever documented and hold up in court, much like a Living Will.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

You Decide: "Murphy's Justice"

Below are 6 new ad copy's for my new show titled "Murphy's Justice"
airing at 9:00-10:00 PM Eastern time. The radio show is set to debut on February 9, 2012 live from the Studio in Las Vegas at www.vegaskool.com.  We are asking you to vote in the comment section for your favorite ad .  And yes, those are my legs!   The one with the most votes will be selected.  Or you can email me at murphymilano@gmail.com with your recommendation.

Vote for your favorite concept!

#1

 #2

#3

#4

#5

                                              #6

www.imaginepublicity.com

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writesproviding commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime 

The Roth Show and Susan Murphy Milano: The case of Missing Police Cadet Kelly Rothwell- 7:00 PM Eastern

Kelly Rothwell is Missing

Circumstances of Disappearance
Kelly L. Rothwell, 35, of Indian Rocks Beach, Fla., was last seen at about 3:30 p.m. Saturday March 12,2011 as she had lunch with a friend at a restaurant in Pinellas County. An investigation began on Sunday when another friend asked deputies to check on Rothwell at her home where she lives with her boyfriend, 46-year-old David Perry. The friend was concerned for Rothwell’s safety due to “domestic issues” the couple had been experiencing, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.

Rothwell, who has not returned repeated calls to her cell phone from friends and relatives, did not show up for class Monday at the Pinellas Police Academy in St. Petersburg. Since starting the program in November, she has not missed a day, authorities said.

Perry, who is a retired corrections officer, has since traveled to New York, but is refusing to talk to police, He has not been charged.

Police found no signs of Rothwell or Perry during a search of their residence on Sunday,March 13,2011. Rothwell’s abandoned car — a green 2007 Subaru Outback — was found later Sunday March 13,2011 about two miles away.

Her case remains unsolved. Join us live at 7:00 PM Eastern, Wednesday, May 3, 2011 To Listen go to www.therothshow.com

http://www.ncmissingpersons.org/kelly-rothwell/

http://therothshow.com

The Roth Show is a nationally syndicated talk show hosted by Dr. Laurie Roth, Ph.D., and stands on principles and leading the charge for the legions of Americans who are saying “Enough Already!”

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

Chicago Sun Times Gives Coward A Platform: Ignoring Stacy Peterson and Kathleen Savio

To Michael Sneed and the editors of the Chicago Sun Times the war in the home is not a recognized battle, yet intimate partner violence and homicide should be taken seriously. Printing the letter from Drew Peterson was not only irresponsible, but, a blatant disregard for these two silenced women’s lives.

You as responsible recorders of the truth need to fully comprehend the battlefield happened in a home where 4 young children were living, that neither Stacy Peterson or Kathleen Savio were equipped to handle, in my opinion not only an abusive intimate partner, but a man who was legally authorized to wear a badge and carry a gun.

This is not a game. It is a real life battle involving families, children, mothers, and in this particular set of circumstances 2 women who behind closed doors, lived abusive and violent relationships. Has the Chicago Sun-Time’s had a momentary loss of memory in exchange for advertising dollars all for the sake of increased readership? In case you do not remember, Kathleen Savio’s permanent residence is now in a cemetery and Stacy Peterson’s is yet to be officially determined.

For Kathleen her violent life is now marked by a single headstone tablet coldly displaying the name, date of birth through the date she died -March 1, 2004. And now she has been resurrected in memory super glued at the hip with everything associated with Drew Peterson. Wasn’t Kathleen Savio abused enough during her lifetime? Why do you as a newspaper have to bury her defeat further in printing her alleged killers words?

I would like to ask the Chicago Sun Times if this was your wife, daughter, sister, mother, would you have allowed this letter to be published? The answer is no!

Look around folks, you cannot pick up a paper or turn on the news without hearing how another woman was murdered by someone they new intimately. You can't help but read nasty comments on the internet, not from strangers, but, often by friends and relatives who knew both the victim and the abuser, trying to defend the actions of a cold blooded killer, and blaming a victim because she ending the relationship, filed for divorce or took the children. Has anyone ever asked the question, "why?" Or is it easier for a well established newspaper to jump on the bandwagon by ignoring justice, all for the sake of blood money?

"If you are outraged by the Chicago Sun Times and their disregard for the families of Kathleen Savio and Stacy Peterson by making headlines of Drew Peterson's jailhouse letters, do your part and let them know by calling, emailing or faxing. Nothing will change unless action is taken. The columnist, Micheal Sneed and her editor, should know that by making decisions based on headlines and readership instead of integrity and ethics is one of the reasons the public fuels people like Drew Peterson."

Fax number to the Chicago Sun Times is 312-321-3084

Michael Sneeds direct email address is : msneed@suntimes.com

Andrew Hermann, Managing Editor 312-321-3000

Zach Finken, News Editor 312-321-3000

Part 5 : The Series Continue's on the Times Up Blog, Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Seeing The Signs: Texas Mayor Jayne Peters

The news story of Texas Mayor Jayne Peters written by David Lohr tells of a newly widowed mother who murdered her 19year old daughter, Corinne, before committing suicide. Last week the Mayor failed to show up at a city council meeting, there was concern, and a police unit dispatched to her home.

Once inside the home police discovered mother and daughter, each dead from a single gunshot wound.

Now everyone is asking how they could have “missed the signs.” That is the million dollar question in the majority of these cases. Remove the idea that this educated woman of means and position could have remotely been thinking such thoughts of taking her life or someone else, especially her own child, is beyond human understanding. But this, in my opinion, is a tragedy that should be carefully reviewed, along with the financial issues this woman faced making poor excuses for her ultimate actions, and somehow, at the same time, asking us all to forgive her.

It can begin with one life altering moment. In this particular case the death of a life partner, husband and father. The thought of having no desire to live because our loved one has departed is for many far too earth shattering to continue living. But, it is rare when a mother, especially this mother, also an elected official, murders her own daughter.

According to Fox News out of Texas police found a total of 4 notes at various locations in the home. In one of the notes Jayne Peters says “we were lost,” likely translates to when their husband and father died, they wanted to die, or was it just Mayor Peters? She was now without her life compass.

After the funeral the signs were there, but in the death of a family member or friend one can easily forget to maintain contact. Oh sure, there are well intentioned promises of having coffee or dinner maybe taking in a movie, it just doesn’t happen. We all get busy and go back to our lives.

The grieving person is expected to do the same. In this case, it never happened.  Matyor Peters was never able to fuse or connect her life. Pieces of her were not in reach. She no longer felt whole or complete, even with her daughter at her side, and likely something was amiss prior to the death of her husband.

No one that knew her should carry any burden or ownership of what I term “woulda, shoulda or coulda” or, “If only I did or had done this or that I could have saved her and Corinne,” not possible.

Jayne Peters' successful life included a deep depression and when her daughter would not own or share in her mothers grief, the relationship between them became rocky. It's not impossible for a person like Mayor Peters to hide their emotions to those on the outside of the doors of their home. It is easy to split yourself off when someone so very close to you has died; you do not want anyone to see your pain. You believe no one wants to hear about how much you are hurting because the person is no longer around. Someone in this state of mind has to work just as hard to face each new day and do what you and I might take for granted. It can be as simple as taking a breath. For you and I it is normal; for someone grieving and in deep depression it can be exhausting. But it is still a "pity party excuse."

Am I dismissing what Jayne Peters did? Absolutely not! She planned out the murder of her own child.

Corinne Peters had just graduated high school and was planning to attend the University of Texas in the fall. Corinne was robbed of her life by a woman who decided for her that the pain she was experiencing in her own life would be too much for her baby girl to endure. This teenager, by all accounts, was happy and looking forward to her future.

Corinne Peters would have never taken her own life, and tragically that decision was never hers to make in the first place. Her mother will not be remembered for anything other than the Texas Mayor who murdered her daughter.

I would like Corinne Peters to be remembered as a shining bright light while on earth standing up to a darkness few have ever survived.

Rest in peace young warrior! You earned it!

Special Series: One Woman's Journey

Part 1

In recent month’s women, children and the lives of families have been hijacked, wiped out by another person’s anger and control because a relationship was about to end. The women we read about with our morning cup of coffee whom are killed is the mom next door, they live in an exclusive gated community, their professions range from lawyers to teachers and stock brokers.  They do not fit the traditional “signs “of those once depicted as “battered or black and blue.”  You will not find them at a shelter or in court seeking an order of protection.  Many victims of violence in today’s world are educated with successful careers.  The men they are in a relationship with or married to are well mannered, handsome professionals.  These men give an air of success and confidence.  If they are abusive and controlling it is always behind closed doors.  They are a new breed in the area of intimate family homicide.

For this special series we will chronicle one woman’s journey with the understanding that intimate family violence and homicide happen not just to women, but men are also losing their lives in this epidemic. 

Gina, age 47, a certified public account by profession was introduced to Robert an attorney through mutual friends.  She was divorced and had one child in college.  Robert was a widower a Deacon at his church and the father of 2 daughters age 17 and 22.  From all appearances Robert was a loving and caring father.  Gina was impressed when she was informed by her friend how Robert took care of his wife diagnosed with pancreatic cancer cradling her in his arms until she died four years earlier. Gina immediately formed an opinion without ever meeting Robert that he was a man of “exceptional character.”  Gina had already begun to put on her blinders by hearing and seeing only what was in front of her. 

The two spoke on the phone for several weeks before making plans to meet.  As Gina prepared for her evening she changed outfits several times.  Some blouses were “too low cut, a dress was a bit much, Gina settled on a skirt below the knees, high heels and a buttoned down jacket and shirt combo.  

Robert arrived with a bouquet of assorted flowers and the two headed out to a nearby restaurant for dinner.

They had a great time and when Robert said goodnight he asked Gina if he could take her out again.  After a few months they were spending a lot of time together and Robert decided to introduce Gina to his children. An evening of take out and conversation was planned.  Gina walked into the modest home and was surprised to see large portraits and photos of his late wife throughout the house.

Robert explained to Gina they were put up for the memorial service and because of the children he didn’t have the heart to take them down.  Gina recalls thinking how lucky they were to have a close loving family.

to be continued......

Murder-For-Hire Escapes Police Custody

"A man being transported to Waukesha to face a murder-for-hire charges in the murder of an Oconomowoc woman made a daring escape in Arkansas early Wednesday, and a manhunt is under way for him. "

Justin P. Welch, 26, [pictured above] escaped while being transported. He is armed and extremely dangerous . Yesterday he stabbed a guard, took his weapon and fired at a second guard at a rest area on I-40 in Van Buren, Arkansas. He then hijacked the prisoner transport van and fled east on the interstate.

It is a white Dodge van with Mississippi license plates and "North Atlantic Extradition Services" on its side. I-40 goes through North Little Rock. It's possible that Welch is trying to flee to Mexico, according to authorities.

He was arrested and charged with the murder for hire stabbing death of Kimberly Smith on Oct. 1,2009 in her Oconomowoc Wisconsin home.

According to the criminal complaint, 3 men Justin Welch, Darren M. Wold, 41, of Lubbock, Texas, and Jack E. Johnson, 65, of Mexico and formerly of Waukesha, WI, conspired to kill Kimberly Smith, who was in a bitter custody dispute with Wold over their 4-year-old son.

Wold and Johnson are charged with first-degree intentional homicide, party to a crime.

Kimberly Smith's body was found Oct. 1, 2009 in the living room of her Oconomowoc home, according to criminal complaints filed against the three men. Her hands were bound with ribbon, and she had been stabbed eight times, court records state.

Her son was in the house at the time of the slaying but did not witness it, according to police.

The complaint against Wold details how he funneled at least $900 through Johnson, a longtime friend, to pay for Welch to fly to Milwaukee in late September under an alias to kill Smith.

The plot followed increasingly vocal complaints by Wold to co-workers about his ongoing contested child custody issues with Smith, at one point telling a co-worker "I wish I could find someone to hire to kill my ex," the complaint says.

Police found a knife and a pair of medical-style gloves in a storm drain near Smith's home. The knife, missing from a set of cutlery in Smith's home, and gloves were used in the slaying, authorities say. DNA evidence found inside the gloves and a fingerprint connected the gloves to Welch, of California.

Police said a warrant for Welch's arrest has been issued in Arkansas on charges of attempted capital murder; first degree escape; aggravated robbery, theft, second-degree battery and kidnapping.

Lacey Gaines: Fighting Beyond the Grave For Justice

Lacey Gaines was barely 20 years of age when her body was discovered on the kitchen floor of her apartment. The year before she gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Chances are Lacey left the baby with a relative that day because she felt something in her "gut" was wrong. At 7 p.m. the evening of December 7, 2009 Lacey was pronounced dead at a local hospital.

In early 2009, she sought direction and support from various family members because she was a victim of domestic violence. Like many women, Lacey worked two jobs to support she and her child. She was an excellent mother.

On March 18, 2009, in a Cook County, Illinois court, a petition to establish parentage was filed by the baby's father, SANCHEZ REGELIO [Sanchez has used several alias in the past and I am not sure what legal name he is currently using]. The case link is HERE.  Everyone called him "Daniel" including Lacey. Sanchez took the paternity test and was proven to be the baby's father sometime in May of 2009.

Briefly in 2009, I spoke with Lacey on the phone and she was terrified of Daniel, the child's father. At that time, Lacey indicated she needed more time to think about the best plan of action for her safety, which is very common for any woman being abused, and I did not hear back from her.

A huge red flag, at least in my opinion, is the fact that Sanchez allowed the paternity case to go off the court call on September 25, 2009. Indicating to me that he was up to no good.

Lacey had begun a new life for herself by moving to a new residence and beginning a relationship with a man who did not abuse her. He was good for she and her son. Lacey hoped one day in the near future, after the couple married, he could adopt the child as his own.


Sanchez, according to sources, grew increasingly violent over the new relationship, abused Lacey each time he saw her or picked up the child during visitation, fitting the profile of "if I can't have her no one can." Remember Lacey ended the relationship and Sanchez was enraged over her decision to go on with her life minus this coward. Most abuser's cannot handle rejection, this includes Sanchez.

Now, a month after Lacey Gaines murder, police in the town of Justice, Illinois still do no have a person in custody. Why does it take so long for justice in cases of intimate family homicide?

Lacey Gaines did not deserve to die. In my opinion she stood up to the abuser and for that her life was taken away. Her son will never know the courage and warmth of this amazing woman.


I am asking that you take a moment to sign a petition for Justice for Lacey [pictured on there left] at:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/laceygainesmurder

Police are asking for the public's assistance. All tips are anonymous.

Please, if you have information about this murder please call: 

Justice Police Department
Website: http://villageofjustice.org
Thomas C Bockmann, Deputy Chief of Police
7800 S Archer Rd, Justice, IL 60458
Ph: 708 458-2191

Rejection Ends in Murder?

After ending her marriage three years ago to what sources indicate was a violent and abusive relationship Melissa Bridgewater moved on with her life.

Over this past Christmas Melissa received a present from her ex-husband. He was offering a peace gesture in hopes the couple would get back together.

When she would not accept the gift, it only added fuel to his rage. Like so many of these "cowardly lions" who feel as though a dagger has been thrown at their non-existent feelings Jerry Hudson was going to get back at his ex-wife once and for all.

After a night of celebration of ringing in the New Year at the Doubletree Hotel in Oakbrook, IL, her cell phone rang and allegedly it was Jerry Hudson on the other end interrogating Melissa demanding to know who was there with her. Hudson then "lured her out to the parking lot on a ruse that he was actually at her home in Bolingbrook" and destroying her property, according to the State's Attorney's Office.

As she tried to leave the hotel parking lot Melissa struck by another car and boxed in and greeted with a blaze of gunfire. She was shot a total of 5 times. Police say Jerry Hudson was in a rented car and his image was captured in a photo as he went through a toll booth shortly after the shooting.

Police obtained a search warrant for Hudson's residence. They located a note.


"She used me for 20 years I don't need to suffer anymore"

The note police found alleged Hudson planned to kill her and then commit suicide:


"She Has Taken My Manhood."

On Tuesday, with his attorney, Hudson turned himself into police. In a statement made by his lawyer he said "the note doesn't mean Hudson killed his former wife." And goes on to say he cared for her deeply and that a note doesn't prove anything."

A violent abuser will stop at nothing to have control one last time. Melissa Bridgewater was reacting because Hudson said he was calling from inside her home and destroying it. Her immediate response got her killed.

In my opinion, Melissa should have contacted police and asked that a car be sent to the home and had a police report filed on the incident. Then she should have remained in the hotel room until she was absolutely certain of her ex-husbands location. But, like so many victims whom fall prey to these cowards words, she had the sense of feeling safe and secure. Like my mother often remarked, "I am free from him and I don't have to be afraid anymore." My mother's new residence is the same as Melissa Bridgewater's, the cemetary!







On Wednesday, January 13, 2010, at 3:00 PM CST we will discuss the importance of staying safe, before during and after a divorce on BlogTalkRadio.com

A Bright Journey

With this spectacular view it will be difficult for me to leave and return on January 7th to freezing temperatures in the midwest. I am looking forward to an exciting year.

In 2010, my new book "Time's Up A Guide On How To Leave and Survive Stalking Relationships;" will be available on line and in bookstores. It is a book that will save lives for those involved in violent relationships.

In the New Year I return to my radio show on blogtalk radio January 13, 2010 for a weekly hour filled with guests and experts from around the globe as we enlighten and provide prevention strategies for those whose world has been turned inside out by child custody, divorce, abuse, maternal deprivation, family violence, stalking and homicide related crimes.

In 2010, I hope you continue to follow my crime perspective, rants and opinion's on Women In Crime Ink and the on blog Time's Up with a unique insight for crime survivor's and loved ones left behind seeking a place of undertanding and support.

Together, we are making a difference.

I look forward to seeing you all in 2010!

[Side note:] A very special Happy Birthday to Author and Attorney Robin Sax!

Children's Lives After a Homicide

The topic of children forced to continue with a "normal" productive life after living with years of abuse, resulting in murder, is not a subject covered by the media. We often forget about the kids left behind. On June 10, 2009 at 3:00PM Central time, on The Susan Murphy Milano show, Pam Munson and I will discuss the topic of children whose fathers have killed their mothers. It is an important subject: as the lives of the children witnessing violence and terror in their homes, if they survive, live the remainder of their days on earth often in darkness and without hope.

To read about Pam Munson, head on over to Women and Crime Ink.

"When Daddy Make Mommies Vanish"

There is missed opportunity and danger when both local and national media decide to parade potential homicide suspects on the front page of the newspaper.

Inside the paper, a full two page staged layout with props showing the "perfect home life".
Sprinkled like sweet sugar four children as additional frosting on a cake that is not, fully baked.

I guess you could tag this as a "new found form of entertainment". A poor attempt in completly removing important criminal elements and facts of two women, married to a single man, both of whom have vanished.

I would like to offer my sincere apologies to those women and their families across the country who are as I write this, being stalked abused and in real imminent danger of loosing their lives. This display of "bad taste" and human tragedy has found it's way into your lives.

Please, do everything in your power to seek services for your safety. Contact the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They will take you seriously, provide important legal, safety and shelter services at any location across the country . They won't parade the alleged offender across pages of newspapers in blood splattered ink or not take you seriously when you or a member of your family reach out for help.

The grave yard markers are filling up quickly with those whose cries for help continue to fall upon deaf ears.

We must stop this new form of victim bashing !

Shooter on the line: http://youtube.com/watch?v=VaNhBfzXN5c
Person of Interest Ha": http://youtube.com/watch?v=O6wccu40ehA

If you would like to contact me, the email address is contact:@movingoutmoving.com and the website is http://www.movingoutmovingon.com/