Showing posts with label Prevention awareness and safety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prevention awareness and safety. Show all posts

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Cell phone App Helps Domestic Violence Victims Speak from the Grave


A study out by the FBI in October said South Carolina ranks number one in the nation for violent crimes. One type of crime that's on the rise in this state is domestic violence.

According to the South Carolina State Attorney General's website, an average of 33 women are killed each year in South Carolina as a result of domestic violence. Most of the time, they occur behind closed doors.

But Susan Murphy-Milano hopes to give victims everywhere a chance to be 10 steps ahead of their abuser. She never wanted to be a domestic violence advocate. She had a great life as an investment banker until it all came crashing down one night in 1989.

"My mom was a long time victim of abuse,” Milano explained. “My father was a Chicago violent crimes detective. He murdered her and then took his own life. I vowed to change the world."

Milano has taken baby steps to do so over the last 20 years, working with women one on one to get out of volatile relationships. She's even written book on the subject.

Milano plans to take her knowledge mainstream with a new phone application for an evidentiary abuse affidavit (EAA).

"We have something called Crawford vs. Washington across the country and all these cases, when a woman goes missing, you don't know what she said,” said Milano. “You don't know about the offender. So in a case like that, had she prepared an affidavit, which is almost like a will: it talks about the incidences, gives her date of birth, her social security number, gives his information... So for the first time you have in the victim's words what's going on. It's not hear-say."

"I don't think in any way what happens inhibits me from having a normal life, a happy life. I try to learn from there mistakes so I make sure I don't get into a situation like my mom did," said Tina Abassi, who lost her mother at 15 to domestic violence.

Farah Abassi was killed by her father, Asghar Abassi Eliderani, at the family's convenient store in Socastee in 2008. It was the end of a childhood that Abassi says seemed normal.

"I don't remember growing up and thinking anything was wrong cause it's all I knew,” said Abassi. So if you grow up thinking that your parents fighting and not sleeping in the same bed, arguing and having your dad hurt your mom is normal, you don't think you're growing up wrong. You just think, 'Oh they're just fighting.’"

"We don't look at domestic violence as anything other than a private matter,” Milano said. “How many private matters are they going to continue to scream in silence?"

Milano created a new app that will allow a victim to record a video and fill out documents. They can explain the abuse and can include photos and information police could use in case if something happens. Milano hopes it will also give prosecutors evidence for conviction.

"So in her words, it shows that when somebody does this, it's premeditated,” she said. “So a lot of these cases individual offenders who go to trial and say, 'I was unhinged. It was a crime of passion.' Pardon me, but bullshit it wasn't. It's not a crime of passion; it's premeditated and they think they can get away with it."

Asghar Abassi Eliaderani was convicted of involuntary manslaughter in 2010, and received five years in prison as a sentence for killing his wife; a sentence that will be up within a year because Eliaderani is in a work release program.

"If she [Farah Abassi] had the EAA, it could have been something discreet that she could have filmed, that she could have said to know that incase anything ever happened, her voice would be heard,” said Abassi. “That would have given her peace of mind because she was so stressed out."

"You've got budget cuts across the country,” said Milano. “So to have this technology means that you're going to reduce the burden of the State for prosecutors or district attorneys in going in and doing this. If she does this, half their job's over with. If she winds up missing, it’s an easy arrest. You've effective a case that you wouldn't have had."

The new phone application is set to débuted on December 25th, but the information is available to all victims in a book written by Susan Murphy-Milano titled Time’s Up. Click here to Milano’s website, where the book can be purchased.

If you are in a dangerous relationship and would like help getting out, the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault can help. Contact them at 1-800-260-9293. You can also contact Milano directly through her email, murphymilano@gmail.com.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.
A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

South Carolina Professor Jennifer Lee Wilson: "Teaching an Important Lesson"

Professor Jennifer Lee Wilson is a tragic lesson of how a death could have been prevented. Within the facts of her death, at her home, at the hands of a man with whom she ended a relationship, and how she died, is an important lesson.

The lesson began when Jennifer received an email from a former girlfriend cautioning her to be careful of the man with whom she was trying to end a relationship. He was stalking her relentlessly, calling and sending texts. There was enough harassing behavior by the man to warrant a police report and then obtain an order of protection from the court. But, Jennifer likely believed she could handle what was happening and thought, as many victims do, he would eventually grow tired and move on.

That did not happen. In fact, co-workers, other educators at the University of South Carolina, were aware of what Jennifer was experiencing at the hands of this man. On one of the news sites a co-worker and friend comments:

"I don't really know if there is an lesson in her death because this honestly could happen to anyone. It's entirely scary because the only lesson I can gather from this is if a person is crazy and determined to get you there is little you can do."
The person who made the comment is wrong. There were things that could have been accomplished to assist Jennifer and therein lies the real lesson.

The professor's death could have been prevented. Everyone knew what was happening at the university but no one knew what direction was required for her to be safe and stay alive. He had a plan to stalk, harass and threaten. She needed a plan to be 10 steps ahead of his tactics to stay alive. With over 20 years of working on complex, dangerous, high risk cases of intimate partner violence, so far, not one victim has died on my watch. So, I disagree with the co-worker and educator's comment "if a person is crazy, there is little you can do."

Since the University of South Carolina does not currently offer training in the area of intimate partner violence, I suggest they consider scheduling a series of educational workshops on intimate partner violence and prevention to not only bring awareness to those on campus, and keep students and facility safe, the workshop campus training should include an invitation for the local law enforcement community.

When a call was placed by a neighbor at approximately 2:00 a.m., saying they heard screaming coming from inside the home, the officers should have done more than get out of the squad car for a moment, and  because all seemed quiet, turn around get back in the squad car and leave. The officers did not do a wellness check. They did not take the time to knock on the door of the professor's home, and they did not follow-up with the person who placed the 911 call to investigate further. If they had, it may possibly have saved her life.

The next morning, the same neighbor called again and police are now at the scene of a homicide. They arrested the "oh so nice and well mannered man" (a phrase I saw used several times to describe the cold blooded killer.)

At the conclusion of the news article Gloria Boutte, Chair of USC Department of Instruction and Teacher Education, said, "Wilson's death leaves a void on many levels. You could always count on her to make people feel better."

With the death of Professor Jennifer Wilson, the University of South Carolina has an opportunity to fill the void of her death by teaching others just like Jennifer the lessons of leaving an abusive relationship and learning how to stay alive!






If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.





****
Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Friday, May 6, 2011

Kelly Rothwell and the arrest of David Perry

Kelly Rothwell is Missing

Kelly Rothwell, 35, of Indian Rocks, Florida, has been missing since March 12, 2011. She was a cadet at the police academy scheduled to graduate and become a police officer in April. Earlier that day she met her best friend Donna Scharrett and then headed to her condo to end the abusive relationship with her boyfriend David Perry. No one ever saw or heard from her again.

As in most cases of intimate partner violence that results in homicide, the last person to have seen or had contact with Kelly, was David Perry. According to accounts he was controlling during their 3 1/2 year relationship. He monitored her activities, daily, either through her cell phone or stalking. And he, in my opinion, like most violent offenders was angry because Kelly was moving out and on with her life, minus David Perry.

Monica Caison, founder of the CUE Center for Missing Persons, a not for profit organization is currently in Florida making preparations to search for Kelly.

A short time ago police arrested David Perry whom has not cooperated with law enforcement since she went missing. And police have not yet named him as an official suspect in her disappearance. The fact that he is in jail perhaps on unrelated charges is indeed important as it pertains to Kelly Rothwell.

If Kelly Rothwell's determination to leave is not a wake up call to anyone ending their abusive and or stalking relationship without preparing the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video before they announce it is over, think again!

Once you are threatened, hit, stalked, questioned in a controlling way, a second chance to save your life, is no longer an option.

“If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, know that there are measures you must take before announcing the end of your relationship. These safety precautions can be found in the book, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship" by Susan Murphy Milano. Don't take things into your own hands without expert guidance.” (Mothers Are Vanishing)

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!
One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com


Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network onVimeo.


The Roth Show is a nationally syndicated talk show hosted by Dr. Laurie Roth, Ph.D., and stands on principles and leading the charge for the legions of Americans who are saying “Enough Already!”

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz


Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.


Sunday, May 1, 2011

Eye to Eye With PI’s: Susan Murphy Milano Addresses South Carolina Private Investigators

May 5-6-7, 2011 marks the Annual Conference and Seminar for the South Carolina Association of Legal Investigators. (SCALI) The Conference will be held at the Hilton Myrtle Beach Resort in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Susan Murphy Milano will be a presenter at the Conference on Saturday morning, May 7, to address the industry on opening cold case investigations, establishing pattern of conduct, and the preventative measures to be taken when dealing with cases of intimate partner violence. Murphy Milano’s expertise is nationally known and she works across the country with a variety of agencies.

SCALI State Director, Vicki Childs, and Murphy Milano both host popular weekly radio programs on the Here Women Talk Network, broadcast by Zeus Radio. They both address issues of crime, investigations and issues surrounding intimate partner violence and it’s devastation to families.

SCALI was formed in 1985 with the dedication of three (3) South Carolina Private Investigators. Since that desolate period, SCALI Membership has grown to include Members in Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia & Florida. Many Members are now very close friends and call upon each other professionally for the insurmountable amount of knowledge and expertise and personally for advice and solitude. Some have never

met face to face but are treated as friends and associates due to the SCALI connection. The Executive Committee of SCALI and other SCALI committees work very closely with our governing body SLED Regulatory in efforts to make changes for enhancements of the industry, to maintain a professional & ethical industry offering a vital service to consumers and businesses in the State, in gaining reciprocity with other States, to mention a few.

For more information:

http://www.scalinv.com/

http://www.susanmurphymilano.com

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz


Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.www.imaginepublicity.com

Sunday, April 3, 2011

KeyLogger Software is Dangerous for Victims of Intimate Partner Violence and Stalking


It is important to beware of a software program that is tracking those in relationships of intimate partner violence, divorce and stalking. Victims are emailing and asking how to remove the software on their cell phones and computers.

For those whom are limited to searching the Internet or a site to find out, I have placed the information below. I also suggest that you may others aware in your community and pass on the information.

Keylogger is a dangerous software that executes almost invisibly as a low level system process. It is usually started up in an invisibility mode when your computer is booted – so there is no way the user can detect it. This program logs all the key strokes that you type on the keyboard and then transmits the logged information to the intruder who infected the computer with the keylogger program.

Keyloggers are extremely dangerous and can be used to steal personal information such as your social security number, credit card number, and passwords to just about everything. This may lead to identity theft or theft in general. Keyloggers are especially dangerous to anyone who uses online banking or online cash sites such as PayPal for a large amount of money.

When you suspect that you are infected with a keylogger, do NOT type any personal information. Even if you are typing in a normal word document, the keylogger still keeps track of everything you type.

If you desperately need to login to your Email or somewhere secure and password protected, there is one way to get around the keylogger.

Click on Start -> Go to All Programs -> Click onAccessories -> Select Accessibility ->Click on On-Screen Keyboard

Executing the above steps opens a keyboard on your screen so that you can click whatever letter you would like to type. Since a keylogger does not track where and what you click, this helps you to get around it in times of urgency. Typing with the on-screen keylogger is a great hassle. The only alternative is to eradicate the keylogger program completely from the computer.

Before you can eradicate the keylogger program and make the compute safe, you will need to detect it. Detecting a keylogger is not simple. It can be installed in over a 100 places on your computer, usually located in one of the system files. However, there is a much easier way to detect if a keylogger is running or not. Right click on your desktop’s task bar and click on Task Manager. Alternatively you can press Ctrl + Alt + Del simultaneously to open the Task Manager. Task Manager displays a list of all the applications currently executing on the computer. Click the tab that says Processes. This gives you information about all the programs, hidden and visible that your computer is currently running.

Unless you know a lot about system processes and application processes, you will have difficulty figuring out what you are looking at. The name of each process is under Image Name. The keylogger will show up on the list of processes as well as many other programs and background processes. However, you may not be able to distinguish between the different processes.

You will need to know which process to end before you can stop the keylogger. There are many sites available on the Internet that provides a vast amount of information on each and every process that you may encounter. One of these sites is Liutilities. This site provides some background information on each process as well as specifying the author and which program it is part of. One of the best features of this site includes a recommendation about what to do with that process. Most of the time, the process you look up will be harmful and simply part of the operating system or another program you are running.

Another fantastic site for information on processes is Neuber. As with Liutilities, Neuber gives you background information on that process. A special feature they have is user created comments. Anyone can rate a process in terms of its security a leave a comment about how to deal with the process. Generally, these comments are very accurate. Neuber also provides a ‘security rating’ for each process based on the average rating by users.

However, some find it hard and long drawn out to research each process individually. Thankfully, there is a program called Security Task Manager that is free to download. It will display information about each of the processes that are currently running, as well as specifying if they are dangerous or not. You will immediately be notified should anything harmful come up. Produced by Neuber, the program also shows the security rating and a random comment made by a user for each process. This program does have its disadvantages though. Processes that the program has never encountered before are not given a security rating or a comment. It is therefore advised that you research these processes individually.

Once you have found the harmful process in the Task Manager, click the process and then click the ‘End Process’ button towards the bottom right. The process you have selected should be terminated immediately.

Once this is complete, you should be safe until you reboot your computer. If you do not delete the keylogger, upon rebooting your computer, the keylogger will start up again.

Once you have stopped the keylogger, run anti-virus and spyware checks on your entire computer. Some free virus scan utilities that are recommended are A2, Dr. Web and AVG. However, highly advanced keyloggers such as TypeAgent, KGB, and SpyOutside can often slip through these scans and remain undetected.

If the antivirus scans fail to show any result, you will need to manually detect and delete the keylogger. Keyloggers are usually located in the system files, so do not delete anything that you aren’t 100% sure is the keylogger. Doing so may lead to errors in other areas of the computer. Go to 411-spyware and search for the type of keylogger that has infected your system. If it is listed, there should be instructions about how to manually remove the keylogger.

A great way to check if the keylogger has been completely removed from the system is to reboot. Remember the name of the keylogger’s process and reboot the computer. If the process is not there when the computer has rebooted, you are safe. There is also more on this along with other directions on computer technology in the book "Time's Up." (see below)

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com


Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network onVimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz


Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide

Friday, February 25, 2011

The Beat Stops Here: Officer Involved Family Violence



By Susan Murphy Milano


“Phil had a lot to drink,” he began, his red eyes showing the depths of his emotions. “This is difficult for me to discuss the details with you but your mother was found in the kitchen on the floor—she had been shot with a .44 Magnum. The bullet exited out her right eye and onto the kitchen table.” Tom took a deep breath. “After he shot her, your father took a towel and covered her face. He was found in the bedroom and had shot himself. Susan, when was the last time you spoke with him?” For reasons foreign to me, I felt enraged at the question.

“He murdered my mother! Your “superhero” partner murdered her and you want to know when I spoke to him last? You are just as cold and heartless as he was!” I stood up knowing I wanted no part of the conversation. “Susan, wait, calm down!" Tom also stood. “I know you’re upset but there’s no reason to speak to me that way!”

I spun around to face him, a man I’d known since childhood. My face, clearly showing the contempt I was feeling at that very moment, made my father's partner, Tom Flaherty stop in his tracks.

“Bullshit!” I shouted. “All you care about is your buddy and how you can cover up his mess one more time!”

Knowing he had no defense against the spew of accusations, Chicago Detective Tom Flaherty hung his head in shame and left the residence. I stood motionless, staring at the door, wondering if I should scream or cry—or both. I was in shock. My ultimate fears realized, I felt a sense of relief when the police Chaplin returned to speak with me.

“They are preparing to transport the bodies to the morgue,” he said in almost a whisper. “Someone from the police department will call you in the morning to assist you with the funeral arrangements. Susan, is there anything I can do for you?”

In 1989, officer involved homicide was covered up; considered a black mark against a police department. And any surviving family members who remotely speaks publicly is informed what will 'happen to them," if they do not listen. More then 20 years later, after the murder-suicide of my parents, Roberta and Phillip Murphy, nothing has changed. Police Departments release few details, if any, when a wife of a police officer calls 911 emergency assistance because her husband or significant other is abusing and threatening her very existance.

Once the media learn the person responsible for the crime was in law enforcement, the truth of how many calls a victim made for help, what supervior in the police unit she contacted, or how often officers responded to a call that ultimately lead up to the tragedy, is turned inside out by police departments like a badly stained pair of dirty underwear.

Instead of reporting the facts in these cases, we read stories of victim finger pointing or glorified obituaries on how a "veteran decorated officer" served their community with honor and courage.

The wives and girlfriends in a current or former relationship with a sworn law enforcement officer have had little to no services for assistance when attempting to end and safety leave their relationships, alive. That is until, now.

In 1989, I was scared to come forward to talk about my mother's murder. No one believed us as we attempted to seek help, until she was finally silenced at the age of 47, by my father. I realized that the there was nothing more to lose or fear, ignoring the threats to my own life if I continued speaking out and working with victims.

Each day, when I want to give up and say is it all worth it? Battling a legal system that clearly needs a new pair of glasses and likely has sudden vision and memory loss when I call or enter a courtroom with a victim whose life hangs by a single thread. It is my mothers legacy that pushes me to the dawn of each new day. It is why I am so passionate about ensuring that those whom need assistance to safely end the abuse, do so with their life still in tact. My work and services are based on being in the field with victims and their families. The expertise, over 20 years of being in courtrooms across the country and keeping, wherever possible, victims alive. With special emphasis and expertise on law enforcement and military families as it relates to inmate partner violence.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available on Amazon.com, we can send it to you via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

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