The Susan Murphy Milano Show-Today 3PM CST / 4PM EST

Susan Murphy Milano welcomes acclaimed author, radio host and men's rights advocate Burl Barer. And Hollywood Private Eye Fred Wolfson a victim of intimate violence.

FRED WOLFSON
Fred Wolfson is a former U.S. Intelligence Officer in the Reagan Administration, who becomes a successful and wealthy private investigator. Wolfson was a regular contributor for network television and radio in the fields of personal and corporate security, and had his own weekly television program on the air dedicated to solving cold cases.

Wolfson fell in love with a beautiful surgeon, and the two were soon married. Shortly after the marriage, Wolfson’s health began taking a turn for the worse. Wolfson’s physician wife began prescribing a multitude of medications, yet his health and mental acuity continued to deteriorate. Wolfson’s wife pointed to mental illness, convincing everyone that the world renowned investigator had “lost his marbles.” While pretending to be the doting wife, caring for her mentally ill husband, she was actually draining Wolfson’s bank accounts and preparing for the ultimate betrayal – - his death!

The attempt to murder Fred Wolfson is about a woman who would stop at nothing to get what she wanted, including murder, and the ability of this former intelligence officer to fight back through a drug induced haze to save his own life.

BURL BARER
Legendary author, Brilliant Burl Barer is a Edgar Award winning author and two-time Anthony Award nominee with extensive media, advertising, marketing, and public relations experience.

Garnering accolades for his creative contributions to radio, television, and print media, Barer’s career has been highlighted in The Hollywood Reporter, London Sunday Telegraph, New York Times, USA Today, Variety, Broadcasting, Electronic Media, and on ABC’s Good Morning America.

Wednesday, February 24,2010

Time: 4PM EST, 3PM CST, 1PM PST

You can participate live in the chat room or call in with questions. You may also email questions to murphymilano@gmail.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano/2010/02/24/the-susan-murphy-milano-show

The call in number is (347) 326-9337

Special Series: One Woman's Journey

Part 5

Seven days remained until Gina could leave. There were a few melt downs. Robert was monitoring Gina more closely. He checked her cell phone, opened her mail. And she caught him following her while running erands in town. She counted the hours and the days. Gina was having difficulty eating and sleeping. Each night she go over her plan either on the 10 inch computer notebook she had hidden in the book case in the den or run it through her mind.

A bombshell of sorts dropped when a close friend nearby called to say there was a death in family and she would be gone for a week unable to take her to pick-up the rental car.

Gina thought as she drove over and got her friends car keys. The car was in need of a part so Gina told Robert she was going to have the car serviced for her friend and then use it to pick up Kathy at the airport the following week.

In a moment of weakness she thought about telling Robert of her plans she was tired of sneaking around it was stressing her out. But something in her gut told her to be silent and move forward with plan B.

Gina’s back up plan was to drive over to her friend’s house have someone take her to the airport to pick up the rental. Then drop off the rental in the alley of her friend’s house and drive the car back home. In the morning before she was to pick up Kathy, Gina would switch out the cars taking the rental to the airport drive back and tell Robert Kathy rented the car. But that plan blew up when Robert came home after work that evening questioning the unusal car behind her friends house. Gina decided not to flinch and she not react to Robert's inquiry.

Three days before the move Robert and Gina fought. “You are up to something, I don’t know what but you are" yelled Robert. A credit card company called today asking for you by name to verify an address change. Gina looked him square in the eyes and said “that’s ridiculous.”

“Don’t you dare leave I will come after you; I love you so much I won’t know what to do with you.” Again,Gina did not react . Instead she replied it was a mistake. “Maybe someone was trying to steal her personal information that is why she pays extra to have the credit fraud on her account.”

On Tuesday Gina met another friend who took her for the rental car. When she returned Gina placed a call from her friend’s home to make changes to her address with a bank and her credit cards. Gina knew Robert could call in every one of her credit cards once he learned she was gone and report them stolen or lost as many abusers will do making them unusable.

But that was something Gina already figured Robert would do. She was just trying to have at least one good credit card to use for emergencies.

Gina was also prepared for Robert to contact the State police and report her missing. He was a lawyer after all and capable of doing almost anything. At her friend’s home Gina typed a quick letter on the keyboard and printed it out for Robert. Then she folded it and placed the envelope in her boot. In the letter she told Robert the marriage was over and that she had contacted the State police just in case he decides to have a buddy issue a missing persons alert.

Gina noted the time and hurried back home before Robert returned. The next day Gina picked up Kathy at the airport. They went over the plan. That evening a few friends would be over for dinner and immediately after Robert leaves for work in the morning Gina had 1 hour to pack the car and go.

Thursday morning Gina’s stomach was in knots. She packed up the car, woke Kathy, and the two women went over the list Kathy had printed and brought with her the list for Gina items they discussed over the phone a week earlier.

Gina placed a note she had written earlier that morning to Robert on the kitchen counter with her house keys and they left. Once on road Gina disabled her cell phone removing the battery to the phone so Robert would not be able to track where she was headed.

In my opinion, Gina is alive because she had a plan. If she did not, we would likely be reading her obituary with our morning coffee.

Special Series: One Woman's Journey

Part 4

The younger daughter moved out and into the home of a relative. The older daughter remained until she found employment and a place to live. Both girls were furious with their father. Gina was upset that Robert did nothing to bring her back into the home.

After dinner Gina decided to speak with Robert. She told him it was no one’s fault. The marriage was not going to work. It was over. Gina made plans to be out of the house over Christmas and would return in January to gather her things and go.

Two days before Christmas Robert received a call from a hospital that his wife was in a horrible accident and he should come immediately. Gina was not expected to survive, but she did. Robert brought her home and for the next three months nursed her back to health. Things were good during that time. When Gina recovered Robert’s controlling behavior resumed. Gina whom was also a forensic accountant started her own business and began traveling. Her plan was to get back on her feet financially and move.

The youngest returned to the home after graduating high school and stayed until it was time to go away to college. That summer Gina and the daughter barely spoke. and when they did it was often unpleasant. Gina had a light bulb moment one evening after Robert came home late and intoxicated. The daughter screamed at her father "how could you do this" she shouted and went on rambling in an attempt to remind her father of his actions while her mother was alive. Gina realized the daughters behavior and anger was taught by her father, communicating the way she was taught. It was at that moment Gina realized the air in the house was toxic. And Robert exhibited an unpredicatable yet potentially dangerous if things did not go his way.

Gina decided it would be best to act as if nothing was wrong and worked on a plan to leave, telling only a few trusted friends.

A month or so later Robert announced he purchased a hand gun, “to keep the house safe he said.” Gina had a bad feeling and continued with her plans to leave. She went to a cell phone store and learned that although she had access to the master account on her cell phone service any changes or updates she made would automatically be sent by the provider to the email address listed with the company. That wasn’t going to work as the email address was Robert’s at the law firm. Instead Gina set up Google Voice a free telephone service on the Internet.

In December Gina took an assignment for 5 weeks in California. She did not inform Robert that her friend from college lived there and that was where she planned on moving. In an environment where she was not constantly monitored Gina developed a clear plan for leaving the relationship.

Gina had a lot of work to do before she could move. When she returned from her trip Gina was distant towards Robert but she remembered what she was told about “throwing him off and acting as if everything was okay.” It was difficult but Gina felt in her gut if she behavior in a certain manner she could be killed.

Gina had a sense of freedom and clever Robert like a coon hound was sensing what I call the “smell change.” That is when the person you are with notices something different in the other person. It can be as simple as how you answer a phone, or when you don’t react to a situation the same way the abuser smells something is up. This is the time when a victim is monitored more closely.

One evening during dinner the phone rang and it was her girlfriend from California. When she hung Robert asked who it was and what was said. With a smile Gina replied “Kathy is flying in for a meeting and she is going to stay with us for a days if that’s okay.”

Robert was delighted. He had never met her and was looking forward to getting to know Gina’s friend. Gina was careful not to talk anymore than usual to Kathy, whether by phone or Internet she did not want to raise any suspicion.

Special Series: One Woman's Journey

Part 3

Gina asked if she could time to think his proposal. Robert told her he could not imagine “his life without her and he had never been so happy and he was hoping and praying she would say yes.”

Gina says he was great giving her space she needed. The couple planned out their lives. Robert said the girls would be happy and once they married, their behavior would settle down and they would accept Gina as a member of the family. The marriage was scheduled for October. When Robert told the girls they blew up. Gina said it wasn’t that Robert was marrying me it was the anger and resentment they held since their mother’s death. Gina said when Robert learned of his wife’s illness he didn’t tell the girls until all possibilities of hope for recovery were exhausted. They resented their father for withholding her condition. After her death they had their father wrapped tightly around each of their fingers punishing him because he was not truthful. Anything they wanted was provided. Robert was more like their personal parental slave. After observing the interaction and behavior over time between Robert and his kids there was more going on than Gina realized.

Robert and Gina spent more time at her home it was peaceful. The couple discussed starting over, finding another home after his youngest graduates. Other promises of what would be, made Gina feel comfortable in her decision to marry Robert.

Violent outburst became common with his daughter who had a year left of high school. His oldest daughter had just finished college and was traveling Europe. The wedding plans changed several times. Gina suggested they wait, but Robert insisted they marry as soon as possible. Shortly before the Christmas holiday the couple secured a marriage license. One morning they decided to not tell anyone and marry at the courthouse.

Robert said he wanted to wait a bit before informing the kids. The following week Robert arranged for movers to bring Gina’s things over to his house. From the moment the first box came off the moving truck and into the home, doors were slammed shut. This went on for several days. If it wasn’t doors slamming his daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs. She shouted at her father “you are selfish, you are an asshole all you ever think about is yourself.” When the oldest returned from Europe to figure out her life plan both girls ganged up on their father.

Robert’s true colors began to show. When Gina would ask questions, Robert would snap and say “forget about it, it will blow over. He also began smothering Gina again. Robert also had a habit of checking all calls received and placed from the home his explaination was to see who was calling for the kids. But Gina was not buying it. And Robert was always demanding to know where she is going, with whom and when will she be returning. Constantly he would call her and when she didn’t answer Gina would be interrogated.

Gina also learned Robert was not the loving husband and father he portrayed to the outside world. By accident Gina met a close family friend who described the less than happy couple. It seems before she was diagnosed a plan was in place to divorce Robert. For many years under the same roof they lived apart he in the basement and she upstairs in the bedroom. Gina could see this was not going to work. When she approached Robert he begged for a little time to work things, “you will see, I promise everything will be alright.”

The environment was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Gina pleaded with Robert to look for another place to live. When she learned that the girl’s mother had actually died in the home Gina was furious because she was never told.

Eleven months into the marriage Gina had enough.

Special Series: One Woman's Journey

Part 2

It was awkward the first hour or so Robert’s children seemed rather taken back that their father was dating someone. Their voices had a tone of anger saying it “was too soon and this wasn’t the right time for a serious relationship.” When Gina recalled her first formal meeting with the girls she witnessed a control and power that in her mind was not normal. Robert always gave into the girl’s demands but not this time. He asked each of his daughters to apologize to Gina for their behavior. This was also a missed sign by Gina.

Gina went to Robert’s house on the weekends and sometimes during the week. They would have dinner together, play cards, watch movie or just hang out. Gina didn’t pay attention at first but Robert was calling her cell phone a few times a day. And when they were not together or Gina was out someplace for the evening Robert would ask that she call to let him know she made it home.

When Gina did not call one evening Robert panicked and waited at her house until she arrived. He said he was worried when she did answer his calls. Look she told him I realize you haven’t been in a relationship for quite some time but I don’t like being so crowded. Gina suggested they cool things off a bit. But Robert promised to be better and not crowd her then he told it was because he was in love with her and he never had these feelings before. Tax time was around the corner and Gina had to get ready for the last minute stampede of clients in a rush to have their taxes prepared.

Robert began to drop by her home almost every evening with a cup of Starbucks coffee for Gina while she worked. Gina would stop was she was doing for ten minutes they would talk and she would go back doing her work on the computer. Sometimes Robert didn’t leave and would fall asleep on the living room couch watching television while Gina prepared client taxes in her office located at the far end of the house.

A week or so after tax season Robert handed Gina a key to his house. She did not want to accept it but Robert insisted. Soon afterwards Robert was showing up at her doorstep with mocha latte’s in hand hanging around until it was time for Gina to go to work.

Gina said at the time she brushed off the early signs of smothering behavior because she truly felt Robert was harmless and she enjoyed spending with him. Robert was by all appearances a warm, gentle and loving father. Gina also mentioned a few times in our conversation how impressed she was with the way he took care of his wife.

Time passed and the two began spending the majority of their free time together. Gina’s childhood friend was terminally ill and she texted Robert to say she was leaving for the airport to be with her and would call me when she returned. Robert was already in her driveway when she sent the text. He knocked on the door said he was stopping to see her anyway and offered to drive Gina to the airport.

With Gina by her side her friend died the following day. There was no reason to stay through the week so Gina changed her flight and returned home. Exhausted and stressed she had a few glasses of wine and went to bed. The following morning as she was pulling out of the driveway there was Robert. Gina said he was rather irritated with her that she didn’t call him when she got home. Another sign Gina completely missed.

The following weekend on the patio, Robert got on one knee and proposed marriage.

Special Series: One Woman's Journey

Part 1

In recent month’s women, children and the lives of families have been hijacked, wiped out by another person’s anger and control because a relationship was about to end. The women we read about with our morning cup of coffee whom are killed is the mom next door, they live in an exclusive gated community, their professions range from lawyers to teachers and stock brokers.  They do not fit the traditional “signs “of those once depicted as “battered or black and blue.”  You will not find them at a shelter or in court seeking an order of protection.  Many victims of violence in today’s world are educated with successful careers.  The men they are in a relationship with or married to are well mannered, handsome professionals.  These men give an air of success and confidence.  If they are abusive and controlling it is always behind closed doors.  They are a new breed in the area of intimate family homicide.

For this special series we will chronicle one woman’s journey with the understanding that intimate family violence and homicide happen not just to women, but men are also losing their lives in this epidemic. 

Gina, age 47, a certified public account by profession was introduced to Robert an attorney through mutual friends.  She was divorced and had one child in college.  Robert was a widower a Deacon at his church and the father of 2 daughters age 17 and 22.  From all appearances Robert was a loving and caring father.  Gina was impressed when she was informed by her friend how Robert took care of his wife diagnosed with pancreatic cancer cradling her in his arms until she died four years earlier. Gina immediately formed an opinion without ever meeting Robert that he was a man of “exceptional character.”  Gina had already begun to put on her blinders by hearing and seeing only what was in front of her. 

The two spoke on the phone for several weeks before making plans to meet.  As Gina prepared for her evening she changed outfits several times.  Some blouses were “too low cut, a dress was a bit much, Gina settled on a skirt below the knees, high heels and a buttoned down jacket and shirt combo.  

Robert arrived with a bouquet of assorted flowers and the two headed out to a nearby restaurant for dinner.

They had a great time and when Robert said goodnight he asked Gina if he could take her out again.  After a few months they were spending a lot of time together and Robert decided to introduce Gina to his children. An evening of take out and conversation was planned.  Gina walked into the modest home and was surprised to see large portraits and photos of his late wife throughout the house.

Robert explained to Gina they were put up for the memorial service and because of the children he didn’t have the heart to take them down.  Gina recalls thinking how lucky they were to have a close loving family.

to be continued......

Don't Just Stand There-Do Something: Live On Blog Talk Radio -3:00 PM CST Today

Pamela Chapman of iAscend Programs is your host for the hour while Susan is on the road. Pamela is a self-esteem, life-transition expert, and works with women who are ready to turn their adversities into victories.

Along side Pamela is Deliah from Peace4the Missing and the Victim's Rights Blog, "Time's Up!". Guests include Polly Franks, Ms. Franks is a licensed Private Investigator and was responsible for putting a serial sexual predator behind bars.

And Gaetane Borders is a School Psychologist, noted Speaker and President of the non-profit organization, Peas In Their Pods. Ms. Borders is a national advocate of children rights, and works tirelessly to help parents achieve healthy, harmonious, and emotionally stable environments for children. Her dedication to empowering parents has made her sought after, as she frequently contributes her expertise on radio shows, magazines and television programs.

DATE: February 17, 2010

TIME: 3:00 PM Central Standard Time

Live call in Number: 347-326-9337

Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

If you are unable to listen live, return to this site and the show will automatically play. Just remember to turn on and up the volume on your computer.

A Special Place in Hell For Killer With A Badge?

A cop whom according to reports and former officers working along side of him "should have been stripped of his commission as a law enforcement" officer long ago. A departments rank and file that looked the way over an anrgry and controlling cop on Friday evening cost two people and possibly a third their lives.

Charlotte Grahn filed for divorce in August of 2009. She was afraid of her husband a Clackamas County, Oregon deputy sheriff. Charlotte believed if she pressed charges for the beatings he would get fired from his job. And that would only make Jeffrey Grahn more violent. But others knew like Sheriff Craig Roberts and on a private site for law enforcement someone in the know commented:

"Unfortunately the guy had been unstable for quite a while and the Boss chose to ignore it. This is not a surprise for those who had to work with Grahn.

When you're married, have kids, choose to get a girlfriend in the courthouse, that ends up getting you moved from the courthouse to graveyard patrol. When you suck as a Patrol Sgt. because none of the troops trust you, then you divorce your wife, but can't control her afterwards..... God speed Charlotte, you were an angel to put up with him.
Grahn...rot in hell!!"

Another law enforcement officer on site said:
"Suffice it to say that for those of us that had to work with this SOB, this was no surprise. Ask yourself why senior guy's who could hold day shift for the rest of their careers would bid off to nights when Grahn bid days?"

Charlotte was out for the evening with two of her girlfriends and a local establishment in town. Jeffrey Grahn walked in and the couple began to have a heated discussion. She went outside to get away from him. He shot her in the parking lot. Then this piece of grabage went back inside and shot the pther two women and the table. Kathleen Hoffmeister died instantly and Victoria Schulmerich is in critical condition fighting for her life. After shooting all three women Jeffrey Grahn committed suicide.

Now, three children are orphans because a small town refused to see that Jeffrey Grahn had no buisiness as a sworn law enforcement officer. They all knew that this guy was trouble. They all knew he was dangerous and yet his remained in a position of authority. Grahn could not deal with the fact that his wife was no longer under his private lock and key.

Because the police department and the union looked away they need to be held accountable. The Grahn children and the surviving families of the two victims shot likely have a lawsuit to file in the near future. The Attorney General John Kroger office needs to hire a special task force and make approppriate command changes within this depatrtment. A state-wide protocol should be considered and implemented for officers going through divorce. As in this tragic case the rank and file including the employee's within the department must be held accountable.

No one was willing to take action and come forward when Grahn started exhibiting strange behavior.

On Friday, February 12, 2oo9, the brotherhood of the badge kept it's code of silence and innocent lives were hijacked all in the name of shear ignorance.

"Throw-A-Way" Today on the Susan Murphy Milano Show 3:00 PM EST

If you thought you knew the true story of the Wonderland Murders—Or saw the movie based on the murders featuring actor Val Kilmer in 2003-- if you thought you knew who porn star John Holmes was—think again.

Dawn Schiller author of the upcomming book "The Road Through Wonderland" remained at John Holmes' side for years, even as he got her hooked on drugs, beat her, and prostituted the underage teen.

Dawn Schiller will be my guest for the entire hour as we discuss her experiences and her present work with "Throw-a-way Teens" and Sexual Predators.

DATE: February 10, 2010

TIME: 3:00 PM Central Standard Time

Live call in Number: 347-326-9337

Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

If you are unable to listen live, return to this site and the show will automatically play. Just remember to turn on and up the volume on your computer

To email us with comments or questions,or to be considered as a guest on a future show we can be reached at [email address] murphymilano@gmail.com

Gloria Allred: Hit or Miss?

I was disturbed by the recent publicity stunt of famed attorney Gloria Allred and her client, porn star Joslyn James[photo left], over a company selling golfs balls called "Tail of the Tiger".

The balls were produced by a company called Creative Classics out of Canada and are sold with the names and pictures of the 12 alleged ladies with whom Tiger Woods sought sexual pleasure outside his marriage.

Now, let me be clear, I have no issue with Ms. Allred, I do however take it as a personal slap in the face when anyone claims that using these specific balls condones violence against women. That is absurd!

During the press conference Gloria Allred used a large graphic to demonstrate that swinging a club and hitting these balls furthers violence. I could see if a company produced ammunition or pocket knives with pictures of women, but golf balls?

Joslyn James then spoke and said she is is angry that a Canadian company has put her portrait on a golf ball it is selling as part of its "Mistress Collection," "I feel that it is wrong for a golf ball to have my picture on it because golfers hit their golf balls with a lot of force," she said.


Then I nearly fell out of my chair as I heard the porn star Joslyn James say:

"As a victim of violence myself, it bothered me to think that someone would be standing with a dangerous club in their hands hitting a ball with my photo on it."



Golf is a game played on a course that involves hitting balls into holes and unless a club is used to threaten a person similar to a baseball bat there is no danger. And yet, instead of simply holding a press conference saying a class action lawsuit would be filed or they were upset with this company for producing golf balls, these two women are using a life and death epidemic and swinging it around as if to imply it is dangerous to women.

In my opinion Pornography, those who work, sell and produce these graphic images is by far more dangerous for women and young girls.


Joslyn James and Gloria Allred should each publicly apologize for this hair brain stunt!

Is It Good For You?

This is a post I've taken from one of the writers of "Time's Up!" Tanya Warrington. It comes from her blog, "Dazzling Wings." Her words always move me.

Is it good for you? A short question with huge ramifications.

As former victims, we are more likely to base decisions on unconscious questions such as "Will the other person be mad if I say I don't want to do this?" or "I can survive a little more; what difference will it really make?" or "Will my doing this help this other person out?"

I am learning that this other-focused way of making decisions is insidious and well ingrained. It may have helped me in the past. Perhaps caring more about the other's reaction or needs, rather than evaluating my own condition and needs at least gave me some illusion of power in situations of powerlessness.

But now that I am free from abuse and establishing a more healthy lifestyle, I need to know how decisions will affect me. I need to know if a food choice, medicine choice, or relationship choice is good for me. It turns out that I have a starring role in being responsible for my own health choices. Will I spend time with someone who drains me? Will I do something I do not want to do, because somebody important to me thinks that I should? Will I eat a food that has no nutrient value? Will I alternate sitting and standing throughout the day to respect my physical limitations?

How about you? Do you need to think about whether choices are good for you? The good news is we make many decisions daily so there is plenty of turf on which to practice. Start asking yourself, "Is this good for me?"

If we don't know whether or not something is good for us, we can ask the God who has promised to give wisdom to all who ask.

God, bless our minds with your wisdom, our hearts with receptiveness to the truth, and our wills ready to act in line with Your will. Amen.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5 (NIV)

Deadly Silence: The Church and Domestic Violence-Today On The Susan Murphy Milano Show

Scripture deals with “love your wife as Christ loves the church,” and the application is obvious, but none of Paul’s sin lists our favorite parables or stories containing a guy who slaps around his girlfriend or a man who beats his wife when he’s drunk. What’s the payoff for the average pastor who brings this up? Counseling women and hearing embarrassing secrets. And then….divorces. We all know how evangelicals feel about those….or, at least most of them.

On this enlighting topic is guest Professional WBT angler (champion bass pro) Karen Rae Elkins. And hosting todays show while Susan is on the road is Lavina Maters, author of "Breathe Again" and the founder of S.A.V.E Ministries.

DATE: February 3, 2010

TIME: 3:00 PM Central Standard Time

Live call in Number: 347-326-9337

Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

If you are unable to listen live, return to this site and the show will automatically play. Just remember to turn on and up the volume on your computer

Let's Make A Deal

Sandra Viramontes, 30, of Chicago, was beaten and bruised covering 90 percent of her body. No one could say for sure how many hours she was unconscious before her mother received a call from her son-in-law saying her daughter needed medical attention.

When the mother walked in to her daughter’s home Luis Viramontes, the son-in-law was gone in his place a relative who stood by and did nothing until the mother shouted to call 911. But it was too late.

At the hospital a trauma doctor informed the family “they had never seen anybody get a beating like that before.” Sandra’s had been beaten and bruised over 90 percent of her body. After the doctors ran tests the family was told her injuries were not survivable and two weeks later while in her mother’s she was taken off life support.

According to the Chicago Tribune Luis Viramontes was initially charged with aggravated domestic battery and attempted murder, according to court records. He turned himself 3 days after the beating to police on Jan. 13, 2010. He was out on $500,000 and ordered to wear a GPS monitoring device bail but was back in police custody Sunday, waiting to be charged with her murder.

My question is how the hell was this bozo allowed bail in the first place? Her condition was critical and she was not going to survive her injuries. Maybe the judge who set his bond did not consider Luis, "oh so gentle" as dangerous.

This is a classic case of senseless and ignorant denial. It makes my skin crawl when I read comments made by members or friends of a killer’s family, “he always been real gentle.” Another comment as if to set the tone when this case goes to trial, “Luis couldn’t sleep or he cried nonstop.” Was this before during and after the beating? Or was it only when this cowardly individual realized he’d better have a few witnesses to testify as to his acting out the part of showing remorse for murdering his wife and the mother of his two young children? He probably thought it all out and carefully deciding what he would tell the person who will represent him that he lost control or it was an accident he had no intention of hurting her. The defense attorney will respond something like “I’ll talk to the State and see if we can get the charges reduced to manslaughter or second degree murder. Or maybe he’ll get his client a deal. You know so he will not have to spend the rest of his life in prison.

To the family of Luis Viramontes' who are having trouble reconciling the charges against him with what they know about his personality. That is the million dollar question for which the answer is clear. Your “loving, gentle and warm” blood relative is nothing but a cold blooded murderer.

My Prayer’s are for Sandra’s children and her family. When Luis Viramontes killed Sandra he removed what will never be replaced, a precious life!

"God Bless you, Susan McFarland"

Gone Forever is a story of violence and murder behind closed doors. The book written by author Diane Fanning shows us human behavior at its worst and why people stay in violent marriages that often lead to murder. Even when the acts by a spouse are unacceptable, people look the other way or assume that the person is just "odd." Friends and close relatives are naive and often believe that there will be a magical change in an abuser which as we all know never happens in the real world of family violence.

Recently, Diane Fanning wrote a guest blog on Time's Up regarding this case.

"When my readers pick up one of my books, I want them to see the victim as a real person—as someone who deserved to live their life to the fullest. Only family and friends can supply me with the anecdotes and the information about personality that enable me to shape a portrait of their deceased loved one and thus, allow my readers to understand the magnitude of the loss suffered by this crime."

"I have found through the years that the people who shared their memories and thoughts with me are grateful that they did. I’ve received many notes and emails thanking me for remembering their loved one in my book. Some of these people continue to maintain contact, years after publication.

The more in-depth information I can gather, the better job I do. When I wrote GONE FOREVER, I had an amazing treasure chest of information about Susan McFarland—access to her personal journal, a sibling’s perspective on her childhood and the memories of friends throughout her life. I felt a strong emotional connection to her. I wrote about this feeling in the Afterword of the book:

One morning while driving up Interstate Highway 35 to Austin, Susan McFarland became so real to me that I thought about how much more I would enjoy the ride if she were sitting beside me sharing stories and passing the time together. Then the realization struck—I would never be able to meet her. I would never bump into her in Central market. I would never laugh with her over lunch. I would never hear the sound of her voice or see the sunny glow of her smile.

At that moment, I was hit by a sense of loss so visceral; it took my breath away and formed pools of water in my eyes. The light of a life-enriching personality was snuffed out, never to brighten anyone’s day again. Gone forever—all because of the violent selfishness of one man.

To this day, I think of Susan when I enter the dark recesses of a crime—talking to killers, looking at crime scene photos, reading autopsy reports. She is my bridge to surviving family and friends, one that allows me to glimpse the inner strength and determination that many of them possess. She reminds me that her story has the potential to save the lives of other women. I owe her a debt of gratitude that I can never repay. God bless you, Susan McFarland."

Writing a book is a long process that is why I write blogs on victims so we can learn from their lives in hopes of saving others. But a published book is different it records the history and the details of persons life before during and after an event. For Susan McFarland and the other victims Diane Fanning writes about in her books, she also enshrines their lives in the Library of Congress for at least one hundred years, if for nothing else but to say their lives mattered before they were abruptly removed by another individual's rage.