Deadly Silence: The Church and Domestic Violence-Today On The Susan Murphy Milano Show

Scripture deals with “love your wife as Christ loves the church,” and the application is obvious, but none of Paul’s sin lists our favorite parables or stories containing a guy who slaps around his girlfriend or a man who beats his wife when he’s drunk. What’s the payoff for the average pastor who brings this up? Counseling women and hearing embarrassing secrets. And then….divorces. We all know how evangelicals feel about those….or, at least most of them.

On this enlighting topic is guest Professional WBT angler (champion bass pro) Karen Rae Elkins. And hosting todays show while Susan is on the road is Lavina Maters, author of "Breathe Again" and the founder of S.A.V.E Ministries.

DATE: February 3, 2010

TIME: 3:00 PM Central Standard Time

Live call in Number: 347-326-9337

Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

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Celebrating the Holidays Without Controversy

According to Dr. Paul Irwin " as we read stories of controversy regarding displays of Nativity scenes and Christmas trees such as the controversy through the years over the airing of the trailer for "Nativity" at the Christkindlmarket in Chicago. As one who has studied the Bible for many years, I find this debate troubling. The American Bible Society believes that we must celebrate the rights of Americans to hold diverse opinions and not to stifle them."

Over the course of a year, we each celebrate historical observations, only some of which have any real religious associations. Some visit renaissance fairs, and others participate in highland games, while a few suit up and reenact Civil War battles. Why, then, are Nativity scenes regarded as objectionable? Why is the appearance of a menorah deemed inappropriate?

Nativity scenes depict Jesus' birth as described in the Bible. The Bible is rife with messages and stories of tolerance, which even most avowed atheists concede to be the case.

Regardless of affiliation or spiritual beliefs, the Bible is among our most treasured historical texts. To that end, the birth of Jesus Christ is a significant historical event. American values and biblical beliefs are closely aligned and not something that is foreign to our culture. We have to welcome the diversity of views that different faith traditions bring to America.

I believe that it is always better for us to listen, talk and reason rather than use inflammatory rhetoric in instances where overt displays of religious significance become a public issue. If it means thinking through the value of such displays and taking the time to be reasonable about inclusion rather than exclusion, then let us reason together.

In addition to making a Nativity Scene – which provides hope and inspiration to millions of people – a political "hot potato," we have become afraid to wish people Merry Christmas, replacing it instead with the generic and politically-correct "Happy Holidays."

Christmas commemorates the birth of Jesus. Hanukkah celebrates the rededication of the Jerusalem Temple by a Festival of Lights.

While some people do not celebrate Christmas, it is wrong to think that collectively Americans have found it offensive to wish people a Merry Christmas. I firmly believe that "Merry Christmas" should be seen for what it is: A wish for happiness on the anniversary of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. And it's a pleasant way to greet someone in December, too.

Church Sending Wrong Message To Victims of Abuse?

A few days ago a teaching Pastor Tom Holladay who is with Rick Warren's Saddleback Church publicized their views on domestic violence and marriage. It goes on to say the Bible only condones 2 reasons for divorce-adultery and abandonment.

Upon reading this my first thoughts were of Drew Peterson who clearly committed adultery during his 4 marriages and now is claiming that Stacy Peterson abandoned him so he will be seeking a divorce, because he's engaged. My guess is the next press release from his legal team of Marsmallow Roasters will include quotes from the Saddleback Church as sort of a right of passage to marry a fifth time. But first, he will have to have the title of "Suspect" removed from the Will County State's Attorney's office which is not happening anytime soon. Nor is marriage #5 in his future, unless of course it's behind a metal structure.

Back to the point. I respect everyone's opinion, but when a man of God interprets the lives of those who are likely to be killed and basically says to separate or leave, that is dangerous. Those who leave their violent relationships are more likely to be murdered when they leave their abusers. I am talking about women who are threatened with their lives by abusers on a daily basis. And when they leave, we read about on the Internet or with our morning coffee.

Women like my mother, murdered by my father. Or the thousands of others,vanished, murdered, buried, hidden by those who profess to love them. Women must have a clear plan that includes safety minus any guilt from religious organizations when they leave with their lives in one piece.

[Colossians 3:19] says.. 19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Divorce, is a premature terminating of a marriage, always involves sin of some kind, on the part of one and sometimes on the part of both marital partners. Each situation needs to be examined on its own. The two reasons that give a wronged spouse the freedom to declare a marriage over (publicly and legally) after a guilty partner has basically ended the marriage are (1) marital unfaithfulness and (2) malicious desertion. By "malicious" we mean a willful, unilateral, and permanent desertion.

Consider the following scenario: Suppose a husband physically abuses his wife. He has been encouraged to get help for his sinful behavior. Yet nothing changes and he continues to abuse or threaten to murder his wife and children. It may get to the point where she might divorce her husband, but in doing so she is not the one who violated the marriage bond. He did so through his sinful actions. This example does illustrate the biblical principle that when someone has violated the marriage bond through unfaithfulness or malicious desertion, the "innocent" party may obtain a divorce and not be guilty of violating God's guidelines regarding marriage and divorce.

If any man sins against you and beats you, you have no obligation to stay and allow him to continue to sin. So you would obey God and not stay and allow him to sin. You would leave and divorce him.
Here is a synopsis from Saddleback Church: "The Bible does not permit a woman to divorce a spouse who is abusing her."

In audio clips on his Saddleback Church website, the Purpose Driven
Life author says the Bible condones divorce for only two reasons --
adultery and abandonment.

"I wish there were a third in Scripture, having been involved as a
pastor with situations of abuse," Warren said. "There is something in
me that wishes there were a Bible verse that says, 'If they abuse you
in this-and-such kind of way, then you have a right to leave them.'"

Warren said his church's counseling ministry advises separation and
counseling instead of divorce in abusive marriages, because it's the
only path toward healing. "There's an abusive cycle that's been set
up," he said. "Separation combined with counseling has been proven to
provide healing in people's lives."

In the bible, John 3:16 says: for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten so, that whosoever believeth in him shall have ever lasting life. This is the most important verse in the entire bible. If you are a believer, and have accepted Christ into your heart, the kingdom of God awaits you.

And if you are in an abusive relationship, carefully plan, and get out. And remember, God will be with you, always !