Sunday, February 21, 2010

Special Series: One Woman's Journey

Part 3
Gina asked if she could time to think his proposal. Robert told her he could not imagine “his life without her and he had never been so happy and he was hoping and praying she would say yes.”
Gina says he was great giving her space she needed. The couple planned out their lives. Robert said the girls would be happy and once they married, their behavior would settle down and they would accept Gina as a member of the family. The marriage was scheduled for October. When Robert told the girls they blew up. Gina said it wasn’t that Robert was marrying me it was the anger and resentment they held since their mother’s death. Gina said when Robert learned of his wife’s illness he didn’t tell the girls until all possibilities of hope for recovery were exhausted. They resented their father for withholding her condition. After her death they had their father wrapped tightly around each of their fingers punishing him because he was not truthful. Anything they wanted was provided. Robert was more like their personal parental slave. After observing the interaction and behavior over time between Robert and his kids there was more going on than Gina realized.
Robert and Gina spent more time at her home it was peaceful. The couple discussed starting over, finding another home after his youngest graduates. Other promises of what would be, made Gina feel comfortable in her decision to marry Robert.
Violent outburst became common with his daughter who had a year left of high school. His oldest daughter had just finished college and was traveling Europe. The wedding plans changed several times. Gina suggested they wait, but Robert insisted they marry as soon as possible. Shortly before the Christmas holiday the couple secured a marriage license. One morning they decided to not tell anyone and marry at the courthouse.
Robert said he wanted to wait a bit before informing the kids. The following week Robert arranged for movers to bring Gina’s things over to his house. From the moment the first box came off the moving truck and into the home, doors were slammed shut. This went on for several days. If it wasn’t doors slamming his daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs. She shouted at her father “you are selfish, you are an asshole all you ever think about is yourself.” When the oldest returned from Europe to figure out her life plan both girls ganged up on their father.
Robert’s true colors began to show. When Gina would ask questions, Robert would snap and say “forget about it, it will blow over. He also began smothering Gina again. Robert also had a habit of checking all calls received and placed from the home his explaination was to see who was calling for the kids. But Gina was not buying it. And Robert was always demanding to know where she is going, with whom and when will she be returning. Constantly he would call her and when she didn’t answer Gina would be interrogated.
Gina also learned Robert was not the loving husband and father he portrayed to the outside world. By accident Gina met a close family friend who described the less than happy couple. It seems before she was diagnosed a plan was in place to divorce Robert. For many years under the same roof they lived apart he in the basement and she upstairs in the bedroom. Gina could see this was not going to work. When she approached Robert he begged for a little time to work things, “you will see, I promise everything will be alright.”
The environment was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Gina pleaded with Robert to look for another place to live. When she learned that the girl’s mother had actually died in the home Gina was furious because she was never told.
Eleven months into the marriage Gina had enough.

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