Children's Lives After a Homicide

The topic of children forced to continue with a "normal" productive life after living with years of abuse, resulting in murder, is not a subject covered by the media. We often forget about the kids left behind. On June 10, 2009 at 3:00PM Central time, on The Susan Murphy Milano show, Pam Munson and I will discuss the topic of children whose fathers have killed their mothers. It is an important subject: as the lives of the children witnessing violence and terror in their homes, if they survive, live the remainder of their days on earth often in darkness and without hope.

To read about Pam Munson, head on over to Women and Crime Ink.

"Mommy, Please Wake Up"

He had a pattern of violence, including six arrests for disorderly conduct and three for battery. Five of the incidents were domestic disturbances. He was arrested for disorderly conduct and domestic violence and the bastard had serious bipolar and depression problems. He was dangerous.

Erica Ostenson, 24-years old single mother of 5 year-old Damon briefly dated this violent man whom I am not naming in this post.

Eric told “him” the relationship was over. He was angry and violent and Erica knew it was not healthy and more importantly safe for either she or her son, Damon. “If you don’t give me another chance at us, I’m going to do something you will regret.” Erica responded by telling “him” it’s best if they move on. She had already starting dating someone knew. “He” blew up and stated making serious threats against the lives of her son, the new relationship and her. “My life does not work unless you are with me. Accept my marriage proposal, you’ll see, things will be great.”
“No, Erica, said. It’s over, please leave.” He continued to text Erica “one more chance, please me” said one text message. Another text message read “don’t do anything you are gonna regret.”

He circled the area where Erica lived with Damon. “He” would get out of his car go up to the front door and demand to be let in to her home to talk.

Wednesday morning Damon didn’t have school. He was on the couch watching his favorite cartoon. There was a loud knock at the door.

“He” entered the home, Erica screamed for him to leave. “He” pulled out a gun, with Damon in the corner of the living room watching. “He” fired his weapon emptying it into Erica’s body and fled the scene into his car and drove away. Leaving behind a 5 year -old child to sit in the blood soaked carpet trying to wake up Mommy.”

It is important to document every text message, phone call , stalking incident and make a police police. In this town where Erica lost her life, police could have done more to intervene. They could have had training on domestic violence in this town of 59,729 residents. It is not the reason Erica lost her life. But, it is factor for many women like Erica who do not know their options for pressing new charges or insisting police make a report on every single incident.

There are so many of these tragedies, it no longer matter's where they lived or the name of the person who stole their lives. What is important is that we stop acting as though this crisis doesn't exist. Reaching a level I had hoped, I would never witness in my own lifetime.

Information and importanr safety strategies for anyone involved in an abusive or stalking relationship have been created to save lives. Sadly, created because women such as my mother were murdered because their cries for help fell on deaf ears.

Go to the library or visit my site and get a copy of my books, "Moving Out, Moving On" and "Defending Our Lives, getting away from domestic violence & staying safe. Turn up the volume on your computer and listen to this weeks radio show on Religion and domestic violence. Share this important resource with others in your community. You will save lives. This information can be used to relationships including women married to abusive police officer or person's in the military.

"One Little Act of Violence"

Amanda and George were engaged to be married this summer, when Amanda father became critically ill. Amanda's parents were divorced and she was the only child born into the marriage.
Amanda put her life on her to take care of her father, postponing the wedding.

Amanda, an executive with a major financial institution, said that George was romantic, sensitive and attentive during their 4-year courtship. Without having a reason, he would send her flowers at work and he was always there for her.

Three weeks ago Amanda's father died, she was devastated. Even George could not console her. In an effort to comfort Amanda, George insisted they get married right away. When Amanda did not respond the way George expected, he screamed at her. Later apologizing for his outburst.

Several days past and Amanda had yet to set a firm date. George snapped. The couple had a loud, ugly screaming match. George grabbed Amanda by the shoulders and violently shook her. With her head pinned up against the wall, George thrust Amanda's head into the sharp corner of the livingroom wall. The pounding into the wall caused Amanda's head top open and bleed. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Please lets get into the car and go to the emergency room," said George.

Amanda said she was too stunned to do anything other then comply with George and go to the hospital. He insisted on going into the treatment room with Amanda. But a nurse intervened
and said because George was not a blood relative, he had to be seated in the waiting room.
The nurse took pictures of Amanda's injuries before the doctor came in to stitch her up.
An hour later 2 police officers came into the treatment room to take her statement. The nurse at the hosptial had contacted the police. George was placed under arrest when he would be held until the next morning for a bond hearing before a judge.

When Amanda and I met we discussed George's background. Had she married him, the violence would have no doubt escalated. Amanda did not connect George's violent childhood.
He grew up in a home where violence was common. His own mother was treated as though she did not matter. This set the stage for George to follow in his own father's footsteps.
Amanda wisely decided to end the relationship the first time George became violent.

Far too often when victims allow men to talk them into overlooking "one little act of violence", whether it is an argument, or you have been punched or slapped, just once. You may not get a second chance.

There are no "little"acts of abuse. Each time their is an outburst or a threat of bodily harm, it could lead to serious injury, or death.

You may not see yourself in danger. You may read stories of women murdered and think to
yourself, "I have everything under control. That will never happen to me."

Think again! Please before you decide to leave your relationship seek the services of a mental heath professional. Contact the National Coaltion Against Domestic Violence at
1-800-799-SAFE, asking for a referal to a counselor. Read up on the subject . See yourself in these situations. Go to the library and pick up a copy of "defending Our Lives, getting away from domestic violence & staying safe. Go to http://www.peace4themissing/ and join the abuse support group. Join me every Wednesday at 3:00PM Central Time and listen for suggestions on how to leave.

But do something about changing the control and abuse you surround yourself with like a dangerous toxic drug. I assure, someone will be on the other side waiting to find a way out.

If my mother were here, she would tell you , no one deserves to live in fear. But my mother is not here. She lost her life to domestic violence.

The Book Time's Up will be available at Amazon and in bookstores, July of 2009.

This book is a guide to survival for anyone considering leaving an abusive relationship with life saving strategies including current technology abusers use to track their victims. It gives anyone in an abusive relationship the tools to leave with your life. It provides detailed, step-by-step information and describes what steps need to be taken before a victim announces they are leaving or filing for divorce in order to ensure a safe departure from the abuser (the book lays out how to survive, how to get police to respond, legal options, creating important changes in your life to be safe, creditors, daycare, technology strategies). It also describes the importance of creating an evidentiary abuse affidavit and your own safety video.

The Magic Carpet Ride to Murder

Today on the EIB Network, home of Rush Limbaugh he discussed the beheading of Assiya Hassan, 37 years of age and the mother of two children ages 4 and 6. Rush Limbaugh talked about folks in idiot land who are trying to spin the murder of Assiya by saying it is “Not Domestic Violence”. Labeling the removal of the woman’s head as “cultural” because in Muzzimmil Hassan’s native land and under Islamic religion it condones the beheading of women in his country.

I have a news flash for those who are turning their own heads away from the truth.

This Coward or “dickless” wonder as I refer to men who use murder as a way to solve their
problems is the lowest form of human pond scum.

I am confused as to why this murderer is only charged with second-degree murder?

He was arraigned by Orchard Park, NY Village Justice Deborah Chimes. And is currently in custody at the Erie County Holding Center. Have they taken away this flight risk’s passport?

Does Muzzimmil Hassan have a dual passport? With citizenship both in his native county and the United States if he makes bail without surrending his passport he will likely flee.

Why the murderer only charged with second degree? Is it for fear of political backlash from the Islamic Community in the United States? ( not aware Islamic laws applied)

If that is the reason for down grading the seriousness of this woman's murder, it is ridiculous !

Assiya filed a court order of protection in an American court. She filed a divorce in the United States . So it would appear her rights are being swept under a cultural flying legal carpet where the laws of Islam have no jurisdiction in the United States. Assiya's murder will likely be categorized on some statistical data as just another casualty in the war on domestic violence perpetrated homicide.

What is next? A parade for this superhero coward who has made headlines back in his own country?

I remember when they pulled out the red carpet for my own super hero father after he murdered my mom back in 1989. Complete with a farewell drumroll and bag pipes in his honor.

Twenty years later we continue to look away, justifying murder!

"Coward Killer"

A fire storm of unanswered questions swirls around the tragic murder of Nancy Cooper.

The thirty-four year of mother of two was last seen early the morning of July 12, 2008, heading out for a morning jog. Not far from her home in Cary, North Carolina, just 18 blocks away, Nancy's body was discovered floating in a pond.

The promise to love honor and protect was broken the moment Bradley Cooper began his affair with another woman. He is not someone who is likely to be truthful about anything.

But, having an affair does not make someone a killer.

I do find it odd that this mindless cowardly wonder did not attend the press conference today with the family.

Yesterday, a Judge granted temporary custody to the maternal grandparents of their grandchildren, it was a relief. During this time with reporters and police surrounding the home at all hours, the children need time in a stable environment to grieve. In my opinion this should occur in all high profile cases. Especially, when a spouse goes missing or their body discovered.

We are seeing an epidemic in this country. A group of "cowardly killers" who do not have enough guts to either walk out of a marriage or pull the trigger to their own heads.

http://www.townofcary.org/news/news2008/police-nancycooper-photos.htm

http://www.jurorthirteen.com/

http://www.womenincrimeink.blogspot.com/

Maureen Weaver's Murder and the Media

Maureen Weaver died last Thursday in San Diego. Her son Tyler turns ten years old this weekend and the birthday party his mother was planning has been canceled. His birthday celebration has been replaced with attending his Mother's funeral.

Maureen was found dead in the driveway of her home. The crime scene was so gruesome a news chopper captured the tragedy from a distance. Authorities immediately placed Tyler Weaver into protective custody.

Tyler was only two years old when his parents divorced. Frank Weaver was said to have a violent temper. And he had a drinking problem. Just two years before they divorced Maureen filed a police report against Frank for attacking her in their home. Frank was placed on probation for the assault.

When the news broke in San Diego of her death, folks on the Internet speculated and wrote less than favorable remarks regarding the crime when it was mentioned that her ex-husband was a possible suspect. Just shows the public's lack of awareness and understanding of these types of crime.

Yesterday, good old Frank was arrested in Idaho and taken into custody by police.

Did Frank Weaver murder his former wife and mother of his child Maureen Weaver?
Yes, he most certainly did.

Is it necessary for photo's of the Maureen Weaver murder scene to be posted on the Internet? What purpose does it serve the community and loved ones left behind to display such bloody graphic pictures?

Do those individuals who put them up on their Internet news media forum have children?

How would they feel if they were a crime victim knowing their ten year old son will soon discover bloody photo's of the most important person in this child's life, his mother.

If you want to properly cover the real stories behind the crimes women endure across the country three hundred and sixty five-days a year by those they loved or once loved. Head on over to the criminal courts building. Any city in any state will do. Report on the real stories and how often their cries for assistance fall on deaf ear, repeatedly. Or consider doing an in depth behind the scenes investigation on what a victim of violence must do in order to remain safe and alive.

And cover those lives who are not far themselves from taking a trip on a medical examiners gurney into the county morgue.

Pictures of this particular crime need to be removed over at the abc news site in San Diego.

Showing respect, especially during this time, is the very least you can do.

News sources: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24806935/

May 23, 2008: Deputies: Santee Woman Was Murdered
May 23, 2008: Court Records May Offer Clues To Santee Slaying
May 23, 2008: Woman Found Dead In Driveway Identified

Rosa Lisowski's Children Need Your Help!

Three weeks ago a, on March 24, 2008, a devoted , mother in SanDiego, CA, went missing.

Her name is Rosa Lisowski. Do I believe she just took off? Absolutely not. Does she own a red bikini or did she have access to $25,000 in cash, nope! Does her husband, Henry Lisowski have access to a boat marina? Yes, he does. On March 24, 2008, could he have abducted Rosa, after she safely saw her six year old son to school? The answer is Yes.

In my opinion, Rosa Lisowski was taken against her will. She was then bound and gaged. Rosa likely was taken on a boat in the marina by Henry Lisowski and throw out far enough into the waters using weights or anchors so her body would not surface.

The couple was in the midst of a bitter battle that included custody, money and property. This coward wanted to maintain control of what he thought would get in the way of his future plans. That meant removing his wife Risa from the picture. Did he think about his children? No he could care less. He'd find a way to either say nothing or talk about how she took a vacation and "loved the attention of male company", probably in the same way Drew Peterson claims to know anything about where the woman of his children, Stacy Peterson, took off.

A fundraiser is planned for the children on Saturday April 19, 2008, at a Loma Portal car wash. If you live near the area, please stop by and have you car washed. Even if you just had it cleaned, stop in at support the children. It is the very least we can do for the kids . The address is 3373 Rosecrans Street, in SanDiego, CA.

Story link for Rosa Lisowski Be sure to go to the video -http://www.10news.com/news/15904232/detail.html

Source: http://www.10news.com/ Contributing Source: http://www.jurorthirteen.com/

A New Crime Category - "The Vanishing Voice Club"

Rosa Lisowski, 48, Mother of 4


Bethanie Dougherty 40 Years old
Mother of 3 Children

Heather Malloy, Age 32 Mother of 1
____________________________________________________________________

Three women from different parts of the Country. Each has something in common. These missing wives and mothers have vanished. Membership to this particular club has grown in numbers, during the years.

Rosa Lisowski, from SanDiego vanished after walking her son to school on March 24, 2008. She and her huband were involved in a messy custody and divorce battle. The prime suspect her husband. Actually, Henry Lisowski is the only one who had reason to murder Rosa.

Bethanie Doughtery, New York. Taken from her home at three in the morning. Neighbors heard screams on April 2, 2008 and called police. She was apparently abducted from her home. Maybe police could check into current court records with Bethanie's estranged, husband? She has not been seen since. Story link: http://news10now.com/content/all_new...n/Default.aspx

Heather Malloy, Oregon, according to her husband, on March 8, 2008, they had a heated argument. She has not been scene since. Police need to get this case moving. A good place to begin is the court order of protection Heather took out against the oh so grief stricken Husband
And she has a 9 month old child. In my opinion, highly unlikely, that she just left. No credit cards have been used and she has not been scene since he made the police report. Story Link: http://www.kptv.com/news/15629512/detail.html

Others who are members :
Theresa Parker, Georgia- Police Officers Wife
Lisa Stebic, Illinois
Stacy Peterson, Illinois
Kathleen Savio, Illinois
Suzanne, Grattan, New Mexico

I write about these cases with passion. In hopes that those considering a divorce who live in a violent, toxic environment will have the courage to leave. And prepare their new life and journey with extreme caution.

It is painfully evident, society and the legal system do not respond to victim's of family violence. You must create a plan, get out for yourself, before something happens.

As I look at the calendar , I am reminded of someone very special to me who also became a member in the "vanishing voice club." Roberta Murphy, Illinois. A woman, who each time I write about another tragedy and offer my insight and direction to others, I do so not because she was murdered. But, because I survived. And since her death, have assisted thousands of women in safely leaving the violence and on to a new life.

If you are in a violent relationship, you need to begin making plans for a life without the threat of violence. Do you live in a rural community, isolated from others? Or maybe you are married to someone in law enforcement, consider contacting the National Coalition. They have a toll free number you can call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. They will direct you to a safe place to stay, referrals for legal services, counseling for you and your children and help with a safety plan. The number is 1-800-799-SAFE.

You can also go to the library and pick up a copy of "Defending Our Lives" getting away from domestic violence & staying safe. The book explains everything you need to begin on your journey to a violent free life. You can contact me through my website at http://www.movingoutmovingon.com/

I almost forgot, Happy Birthday, Mom!!!!

Where, Oh Where Is Rosa Lisowski?

On Monday, March 24, 2008, Rosa Lisowski walked her six -year old child to school. It was like any other morning, with one exception, she has vanished.

I should also mention that she and her estranged husband are going through a very bitter divorce and custody battle.

Yet, another woman, mother of small children has vanished from the planet without a trace.

No surprise Rosa's husband is "a person of interest". The kids have been placed in protective custody, which in my opinion is a good move by those investigating the case.

We have entered a new"copy cat crime category" a deadly pattern of events in recent months with women who are seeking or have started divorce proceeding's, and magically are never heard or seen from again .

As an example, Theresa Parker, Lisa Stebic, Stacy Peterson, all fit the same profile. Included are other's who broke off relationships and wound up dead. And in each vanishing act or murder, family members and friends confirm, each of the women , were all "afraid of the person".

Previous Stories:
March 28, 2008: Missing Mom's Kids Put In Protective Custody
March 27, 2008: Vigil Planned For Missing Mom
March 26, 2008: Police Question Missing Woman's Sons, Husband
March 26, 2008: Family Says Missing Mother Feared For Her Life

http://www.jurorthirteen.com/ will continue to keep updates on this case, so please consider visitng their site.

http://www.movingoutmovingon.com/ resources to safety and a way to contact us as it relates to a missing or murdered family member.