Riding and Surviving The Merry-Go-Around

In the aftermath of bloodshed, we often do not see nor hear what happens to those whom survive, abruptly alone to live in a world, forever changed. When those we love are erased from our lives due to rage and violence as a result of killing in the home, the odds of survival in the war of intimate partner are better left for chance at a Las Vegas crap table.

In a double murder-suicide in Oakdale, MN, on Thursday an expert is quoted in news article " The couple's children will live with memory of bloody crime scenes, all their lives."

Upon returning home from school the 6-year old girl came out of the home screaming "mommy dead, daddy dead" on the residential street, her hands covered in her mothers blood. She discovered the bodies. Inside, left unharmed was the 3 year-old boy. He had been in the home the entire time and likely heard and witnessed the rampage. The third child all of 8 years-old was walking towards home after school when he saw his sister.

We are ill equipped in this country to adequately deal with returning veterans from war so how in the heck are we suppose to assist and embrace the children in the war of intimate partner homicide? For God sake's we do not recognize this as a crime.

When your daily existence is on a perpetual crime scene, it is a toxic merry-go-around. Your hope is based on gripping as tightly as you can to the metal pole during the ride. Once the ride stops, you are thrown off, the decent into hell begins. At least during the ride you remained hopeful each day your mother remained alive. Someday's you even thought of ways to momentarily disarm the battle securing yet another day of hope.

Eyes open or closed the children will not be able to stop the viewing of the horror movie playing in their heads 24/7. Add to the unimaginable trauma of being placed in foster care because you are now orphaned. If the State of Minnesota separates the children after all of this, they will each internalize the action as a punishment.

After years on the merry-go-round myself, until I was thrown off in 1989, when my father a Chicago police detective murdered my mother before taking his own life, every day has been a battle. Their crime scene in my childhood home and its bloody mess, is a permanent tattoo. I would like to believe based on my life's work as a violence expert and author, that I am the exception. But I am not. Years ago, striving on a daily basis to prove the experts whom said I would not survive the war, wrong. Turning the path of "it is not possible" into "yes I will show you," minus the drugs they insisted would be required as a key to my quality of life.

To build the strong foundation required for survivors of war is vital to their success in life. The prescription does not include text book therapies from "experts" who think an injury on someone else's hand requires a bandage when they have cut open a major artery.

Anyone wishing to offer help for the victims' families can send money in care of the Apostolic Church of the Faith in Jesus Christ, 1534 E. 24th St., Minneapolis, MN 55404.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence cases and prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Texas Bull in Missing Person's Case: Danielle Hill Alvarado

Emotions are always on high alert when a loved one is reported missing. In a cases of a missing person, whose relationship with the last individual to see them includes violence, you have, in my opinion, an "intimate partner homicide missing persons case."

The case in question is that of Danielle Hill Alvarado, 28 years of age, from Wichita Falls, Texas. She vanished from her home on January 24, 2010, waving goodbye to her mother after being summoned back home up the block by her husband, Johnathan. While Danielle was at a baby shower, Alvarado sent approximately 22 text messages and they were not very loving nor friendly, but red flag threatening.

Immediately after Danielle vanished, Johnathan Alvarado gets on a bus and flees the state.

On Tuesday's Crime Wire show we learned important information as to the events of the day Danielle, also the mother of young child, vanished. With us for the hour included her mother Balynnda Dillard.

Listen to internet radio with Denny Griffin on Blog Talk Radio

We learned that the estranged husband has a prior record of violence and was on probation at the time of Danielle's disappearance. The husband is, in my opinion, a serial offender having been arrested since his wife went missing along with individuals with whom he was involved.

Jonathan's 1st first wife, discloses the manner in which Danielle is killed, with the exact same detailed accounts repeated by Johnathan's employer and landlord, as to how Danielle she lost her life. With this information provided to both the Wichita Falls police detectives and the prosecutors office, they do nothing. We go into greater detail in the broadcast.

Does the landlord and employer (one in the same) implicate themselves in this crime?

Why didn't police go in and search the residence?

Why wasn't the parole agent contacted?

Why has the prosecutors office slammed the door shut, on the case?

This case is disturbing because in doing nothing, as it relates to Danielle's case, they are informing the world that victims of intimate partner violence and homicide who "suddenly" vanish have no significance. The cases are moved to the unimportant and invisible box and left in a cold steel metal drawer.

We have announced a plea with a time expiration of September 20, 2011 to the following individuals who I strongly suggest listen to the entire broadcast:

The landlord and employer

The first ex-wife

This is first in a series of various public efforts to have Danielle's case properly investigated. She was a victim of intimate partner violence and it makes you see firsthand how numerous districts within the State of Texas are ill-equipped to handle criminal patterns of conduct and basic 101 investigations.

Interesting that everyone who ran for public office in Texas used the " I am committed to effectively prosecuting domestic violence crimes."

DANIELLE SHERRE ALVARADO
Missing Since: January 24, 2010 at 5:00PM
Age: 28
Missing From: Polk Street
Sex: female
Height: 5 ft.
Weight: 98 lbs.
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: brown
Race: white
Complexion: olive
Birth Date: July 6, 1982

Please call the Wichita Falls Police Department at 940-761-7792 if you have any information about DANIELLE SHERRE ALVARADO- Case number: 10-020099

Or call the Laura Recovery Center at 281-482-LRCF(5723) or (toll free) 866-898-5723; FAX: 888-268-0573; (RN: 1652)

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence cases and prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Michael Tapley a Missing Person and Victim of Intimate Partner Homicide

By: Susan Murphy Milano

The ink on the divorce papers were barley dry on March 6, 2003, when Gina Haskell of Gilbert Arizona divorced her husband of twenty years. Within a year Gina Haskell would change her name and become Gina Tapley. She married Michael Tapley from Snow Flake Arizona. Together they made their home on a forty acre parcel Michael had owned for a number of years prior to their marriage.Michael Tapley was a kind, gentle and simple man. He loved and lived his life to the fullest. Michael's passions were Lady his dog of ten years, his motorcycle and his pick-up truck.

Why am I telling you any of this? The family continues to seek answers in this case of intimate partner missing likely a result of a homicide and we need to spread the word.

Because Michael Tapley is not just missing, family and friends believe he was murdered and the Snow-Flake Arizona Police Department refuse to look at important information that would arrest the person or person's responsible for his death.

Sadly, the law enforcement in Snow Flake is not equipped to properly investigate this case. So I thought along with others, we would get the ball rolling in the right direction. Numerous Internet missing have posted information and reached out for help, only to have doors slammed in their face by the local sheriff's office.

On February 15, 2008, Gina and Michael were reported missing. On or about March 1, 2008 Gina showed up back home, without Michael. Sometime during her trip Gina dropped off Michael's dog at her Mother's home. Michael never went anyplace without his dog, ever.

Gina and the dog did not get along, Michael would never have left lady with her.

On March 10, 2008 the one hundred and fifteen pound Gina arrived at the Snowflake Taylor Police Department on Main street and spoke with Officer Joseph Baca. The comments in the report are as follows:

"Gina Tapley walked into our lobby and requested to talk to an officer."

Officer Notes: "I was aware that she and Michael were reported missing and that NCSO was looking for them. I brought Gina into the training room and had her sit down and asked how I could help her. I sat and listened to Gina while waiting for a detective to arrive. Gina net with Detective Roger Stevens. There was an interview.
at 9:28:59 Disposition- CLOSED.

Police closed the case on the missing couple and refused to open a missing persons or an investigation on Michael Tapley. Wow, they close the case because they do not have the man power and believe the lies that last person to see Michael alive was feeding them.

Have I mentioned that while this woman was married her husband filed two orders of protection against her?

Michael Tapley also petitioned the courts in Maricopa County, AZ for an order of protection on August 9, 2005. But, the couple reconciled and Michael dropped the action.Michael Tapley was preparing to divorce his hot tempered and abuser wife according to family and friends.

Gina's story is that while visiting her family she dropped Michael off at a casino. This also is not possible. In addition, police never checked Gina's handgun to see if it hand been recently fired. She was a fantastic shot. And the truck alleged important blood evidence on the bumpers and tire' s were removed and destroyed by the brother-in-law of Michael Tapley, who also happens to work at a tire store, according to sources.

The success of these cases depends on the public's assistance. Maybe you saw something suspicious and are apprehensive about coming forward. All tips are called in remain confidential. If you can assist and be a siren for justice by sending email's, post information on the Internet, twitter, carry this on other sites, it would go a long way in Michael's case.

Perhaps consider sending an email asking for an investigation into this case we will begin with the Arizona State Police. Please send emails to RVanderpool@azdps.gov . Roger Vanderpool is the Director of the Arizona State Police. Or call 602-223-2365 and ask that someone please investigate the case of Michael Tapley.

If you believe you have information about Michael, please contact the investigating agency listed below, or your local law enforcement agency. If you wish you may also contact SARA and we will forward all appropriate information. Investigating Agency: Navajo County Sheriff Agency Phone: 928-536-7327

Michael Alan Tapley Missing Since February 15th, 2008 Snowflake, AZ age: 51 height: 5' 10" Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Blue Weight: 180 lbs. Michael has been missing Since 2-15-08. Last seen leaving work as a school bus driver in Snowflake, AZ. May have travelled to Kansas City, MO, with his wife and dog in their black Ford F-150. He wears glasses and always carries a black fanny pack. He may have been wearing a black leather jacket and black leather cap. Please call Navajo County Sheriff's Office with any information. Police Details - Navajo County Sheriff's Office Deputy Roger Stevens 928-536-7327 - Report# 08-L01023

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence cases and prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Deadly Silence and Intimate Partner Relationships

There are far too many cases when a woman suddenly vanishes without trace because of intimate partner violence in their marriage or relationship. The husband or boyfriend in the current or former relationship is angry it is ending. A victim prepares to leave is filing or already has filed for a divorce. The woman often tells a close friend or family members "if something happens to me" tell the authorities it was "him."

That is called hearsay and it will not hold up should a person "suddenly vanish"as anything other than repeating something second hand. Those possibly responsible quickly become silent and uncooperative with authorities. In many cases they quickly lawyer up. Stopping the epidemic is the key to holding accountable one of our nation's most deadly crimes: Intimate Partner Violence and Stalking that leads to homicide.

Before anyone says they are ending the relationship; they must complete the abuse affidavit and video as exampled below:

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit: A Victim’s Voice(c)
Domestic violence or intimate partner victims now are able to provide information, in their own words, about the fears, dangers, experiences they have had at the hands of their abuser. The" Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" or "EAA" records victim's stories, histories, and experiences which are preserved and stored on their behalf. These videos will provide answers to the many questions, allegations, and fears that arise when a person has disappeared, gone missing, or been found dead.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Numerous cases, such as missing mother Susan Powell of Utah, Kelly Rothwell of Florida, and women like Stacy Peterson, where the victim’s police officer husband is the person of interest, is the classic example of the benefits of this type of evidence. If Stacy Peterson, or any woman found murdered or is missing, had done an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, ON TAPE, from following the information in the “Time’s Up" book on a flash drive, they would be able to describe:

- threats made against her life or wellbeing, including details of how the perpetrator would carry out the threat
- incidents of past abuse that the victim has endured
- admissions or comments made to her about other victims or people abused
- where evidence or weapons would or could be located
- possible alibis that the perpetrator would make up in his defense (including identification of people who could be co-defendant’s or co-suspects)
- portray visible injuries or marks

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Tiffany Hartley: Murder in Mexico and President Obama

A cold blooded person usually takes their victim and kills in familiar surroundings.  Whether it be places where they grew up, vacationed, hiked or lived, it is specific to either their life or where they spent time together before a murder. In my opinion, Tiffany Hartley is no different from the men who murder their wives.

I understand people deal with trauma differently, and I am here to tell you that anyone who had just witnessed their husband murdered before their eyes is not able to articulate anything other then inaudible speech.  As I have always said, and this also applies to myself, victims of this type of trauma have a total recall to detail.  A person's trauma is attached and associated directly to the event.   I understand forms of grief and reaction are not a gauge to point fingers or accuse a person of murder, but when you have been looking at cases of intimate partner violence as many years as I, you can smell it on someone when their story is bullshit as sure as you can smell a skunks scent.

A person who has experienced a violent death says, "please help me, my husband, oh my God we have to find him,"  and total focus is only on the loved one. Tiffany and David Hartley were sweethearts since high school!  The sentences she speaks are rehearsed words by someone who is covering up for what really happend to David, period. The words are not of a traumatized person who, moments before, looked death in the eye (her words) down a gun barrel herself. It is not possible.

In addition, Tiffany was very familiar with the area and she spoke the language.  She and her husband lived not far in Texas from where David Hartley died in foreign waters. What did Tiffany do with her time? Was she employed? Did she have a lot of free time to herself? Did she get involved with groups that advocated changes to our borders? Were she and David involved in something over their heads and something went wrong?

I can tell you from first hand experience, Tiffany's sudden expertise on borders issue, pirates and the drug cartel, and saying, in the same sentence, what President Obama needs to be doing, is from an individual who has long been involved in the movement, behind closed doors.  Watch as the unlikely widow articulates foreign policy, listen to the enthusiam in her words during interviews. Now she is doing presentations with law enforcement in Colorado and other places on border patrol issues and our government. In less than 30 days Tiffany Hartley has gone from "International Widow" to an expert on our waters and borders? 
She also has an amazing website titled "Bring David Home" ( http://www.bringdavidhome.com/ ) and although I agree we should understand the implications to Americans as it relates to our borders-- using David Hartley to further ones cause and solicit donations, speaks volumes to what her motive is to switch gears by disarming the country away from the truth of what really happend with her husband. 

Although you could believe after reading yesterday's and today's post that I am on the attack, that is not my objective. It is to merely show the facts and to inform the general public that no one is immune from killing their loved one, be it a woman or a man. 

Wendy Murphy, former prosecutor and now a Fox News legal analyst, has also been under public attack for writing and discussing the Tiffany Hartley case.  Many who commented on the article at Fox felt that Wendy Murphy, without facts, is in attack mode of the "poor grieving widow." 

Another blog site by the name of Statement Analysis (http://seamusoriley.blogspot.com/) did an analysis HERE on the Hartley case and I am hoping you will take time to read it to understand the real issues behind this so called "grieving widow."

There are other experts who have come to the conclusion that Tiffany Hartley is lying, such as Dr. Lillian Glass and others who you can find by simply googling. 

In real time, we have watched a story unfold, literally before our eyes, of a woman "claiming" her husband was murdered in a random isolated incident.  If we had watched the exact same story unfold, and it was a man talking about his wife, the public's reaction would be very different.  


And folks, that is my point!


(Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology  Education.  For more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/  She is the author of  "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.  Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth on http://www.therothshow.com/)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

"Multiplying Evil"

The body of missing Orgeon mother Heather Mallory was found last week in a forest. She had not been seen since her husband Brian Cole claimed she simply vanished.

Another angry controlling abusive husband decided when Heather announced the marriage was over and she was seeking a divorce he would in my opinion, take her very life.

On Friday July 3, 2010, Portland, OR., police said that 37-year-old Brian Cole was arrested for her murder in Sagle, Idaho, and is awaiting extradition.

At the time Heather vanished the husband told authorities "his wife drove away angry and never returned." How often have we read that wives and mothers in abusive marriages or relationships somehow just picked up and left? This case reeked as do most we read about when a victim of abuse decides to move on with their lives minus the abuser.

Notice how the abuser begins weaving their web of lies. If you recall Josh Powell ( wife Susan Powell)of Utah; Craig Stebic (wife Lisa Stebic) of Illinois; Drew Peterson (Stacy Peterson) of Illinois; Shon Pernice (wife Renee Pernice) Kansas City or George Parker (wife Theresa Parker)Atlanta, GA, all have the same similar stories about what happend to their wives.

With the exception of Theresa Parker the women missing all had kids. And do not believe for a minute they would ever leave their children behind. These missing women and mothers were each married to contolling abusive husbands.

I realize that when Martin Luther King spoke or wrote about violence he did not intend to apply his words of wisdom to victims who have lost their lives to controlling, angry men hell bend on their own justice. The abuser who preys and kills their loved ones is summarized below in words written over 45 years ago.

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. ... Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

Drew Peterson Case: "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly"

Drew Peterson’s trial is set for July 8, 2010, in Will County, Illinois. The focus, from the moment Stacy Peterson went missing on October 29, 2007, during this virtual circus has gone from good, when we all breathed a sigh of relief that Kathleen’s cause of death was changed from accidental death to a homicide, to the bad, while watching Peterson and his head legal marshmallow roaster become celebrities because of a serious crime until the grand jury indicted him for Kathleen's murder (they were on the “My Wife Up and Left Me Tour”), to now the ugly, knowing full well that not just one woman, but two women, were allegedly murdered because of one man’s rage.

While everyone is busy scrambling and forming their opinions on this case, the question should be asked, and an answer provided, as to what new procedures are now in place for victims of intimate partner violence and homicide since the day Kathleen Savio’s body was unearthed, because of the brotherhood of the badge.

For instance: What procedures and protocol are now in place when a victim calls the Bolingbrook Police Department for help?

What is in place specifically for victims currently married to police officers in Bolingbrook and all of Will County?

What specific changes are in place so another domestic violence or stalking victim whose cries for help do not fall on deaf ears?

What new investigation rules are being implemented by the State Police when a victim is found murdered or goes missing?

Can anyone answer?

No, they can not, because nothing has changed. Whether we roll back the clock to March 1, 2004 (when Kathleen’s body was discovered in a dry bathtub), or we move the hands on the clock forward to July, 1, 2010, we are still left with important unanswered questions.

As I write this, there are women at this very moment in Will County who cannot obtain the proper assistance from authorities under the law, because no one is paying attention. Our legal system is continuing on a daily basis to fail the victims, no different than they failed Kathleen Savio and Stacy Peterson.


And what good is a law that is not being enforced?

I would go and ask Kathleen Savio or Stacy Peterson if I could, but you see I cannot.

They too, have been silenced!

How To Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships

With so many high-profile cases of missing women in the news, unsolved, suspicious deaths and cold cases where victims seeking a divorce have vanished without a trace or found murdered, I am urging everyone to speak out by spreading the word that a prescription for safety is now available. The video below is one key ingredient to a victim's safety.

I often hear women involved in domestic violence say, “I cannot leave or I'm unable to even pack a bag and sneak it to the car.” Another common problem is when a woman says, “He is constantly watching me, stalking me or he has a tracker on my computer, cell phone or vehicle.”

For most victims the fear of getting beat up or even killed by their significant other if they are caught trying to leave can be paralyzing. Most victims of domestic violence and or stalking do not realize that the person in the relationship is committing a crime. Domestic violence and stalking is against the law.

But for those fearful or unable to seek service from a domestic violence shelter provider, there is a book available that will take a victim from living in fear to a plan, with a roadmap to safety.

The abuser has a plan to control, manipulate and harm. A victim must have a plan that involves being ten steps ahead of their husband or boyfriend when they cannot call police or seek services outside the home because it could be too dangerous for the victim and her children.

Remember, the most important step a victim must do is prepare before they announce the relationship is ending. If something does happen, if you or a loved one suddenly goes missing like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or are found murdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel and others, where the person responsible has gotten away with murder, the victim's voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded (see below). Do it for your community, friends, family and loved ones.

Do it for the children.

If you are a victim do it for you!




Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS