I.P.V.War Enters Corporate America

Two major companies lost their employees this week to intimate partner homicide. 

In both executions, the offenders arrived at the victim's place of employment to kill them. You can expect to see more of the same, along with other fatalities, as power and control over ending relationships continues across the country. Corporate America needs to have a "we've had enough" policy. Turning a blind eye to their workforce when these at risk employees are in crisis in the home, is causing more and more death. Society has yet to realize we are in a major war called "intimate partner violence."

Lowe's Home Improvement and Burger King are fortunate no one else lost their lives on Monday. This is not a one time isolated incident it is an epidemic. Live's lost as a result of intimate partner violence are costing an estimated $5.8 billion dollars a year to corporations.

Sheriff: Burger King Employee Killed By Former Boyfriend In DeBary

Monday, September 19, 2011

DeBary, FL: A Burger King employee with a history as a victim of domestic violence was shot to death this morning at the DeBary restaurant by an ex-boyfriend, Volusia County Sheriff Ben Johnson said. Jesus Morales, 41, Deltona, is charged with first-degree murder after deputies say he entered the eatery at 305 Sunrise Blvd. and shot Heidi Shelmire, a 38-year-old employee of the restaurant.

Husband And Wife Dead In Concord Lowe's Shooting

Monday, September 19, 2011

Concord, NC: A husband and wife are dead after an apparent murder-suicide at Lowe’s Home Improvement on Dale Earnhardt Boulevard. Concord Police said that Por Ye Lor, 31, walked into the store at about 5:20 p.m. Monday and started a domestic argument with his wife, Zoua “Vivian” Xiong, 25, a cashier at the store. Lor pulled out a gun and shot her, then turned the gun on himself. Both were pronounced dead at the scene

On October 31st we will be making a major announcement, following a news conference, on the blog as it directly relates to assisting victims of intimate partner violence reducing the number of lives lost in this country. We hope you will return to the blog to learn more, but more importantly be a partner on saving lives!

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence cases and prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team atManagement Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host ofThe Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Level The Playing Field in Officer Involved Intimate Partner Crimes Before A Homicide

Barbara Vanaman was a wife of a veteran police officer in Millville, NJ. She lost her life while
in the midst of ending an abusive marriage. Her police Sergeant husband came from a long line
of law enforcement officers. He claimed self-defense, after he opened fire on her shooting her,
twice.

Afterwards, he cut himself with a large kitchen knife, claiming self-defense, and buying the Sergeant a pity
party from fellow officers and the community, and a crime scene that was never properly
documented or processed.

The Sergeant took a plea deal just before trial . On Wednesday, a judge may reduce the already
outrageous sentence initially imposed of nine years for her murder.

What can we learn from this tragedy?

There are other officer’s wives, as I write this, in New Jersey, living in fear. Uncertain of their future because of their violent and dangerous husbands who happen to be sworn commissioned law enforcement officers. What do we say to them? How do we offer a solution when their lives are hanging by a thread?

A human life was lost. Procedures in this case were passed over because the offender had a good reputation in the community. This case, from the start, was about blue defending blue.

But, what about red defending the red?

The life of Barbara Vanaman is now permanently marked by a headstone. There has to be a more level playing field of survival for victims of officer involved intimate partner violence leading to homicide.

Changing the landscape and leveling the playing field is something I have worked to achieve since my own mother’s officer involved murder in 1989. This case is but one example of how intimate partner homicides are handled across the country. When the wife of a law enforcement officer attempts to seek assistance she isn't supported, instead, she is spoken to by a commander or internal affairs. She is told that if charges are brought against the officer,  he will surely lose his job. From the start, the officer’s wife is "handled" as though it is her fault.

No victim services.

No opportunity to leave the relationship.

No automatic relief for the trauma suffered.

No real hope except to be made to look like an idiot.

An officer is trained, a wife or girlfriend is no match for the explosive waiting to detonate.

The best example is my own, as a daughter of a violent and dangerous law enforcement officer.The lessons learned have saved thousands of lives, but the price continues to be high when I am unable to reach everyone prior to a tragedy.

Part of the solution begins with the Police Academy. There, you have an opportunity to change attitudes. Consequences for actions need to be a mandate among cadets, not lip service. Bring in the wives and girlfriends and teach them techniques that will aid in disarming a potentially life threatening situation. Give them information and materials to use should something happen, where they can go that is safe. In this information provide the prescription available in the "Time's Up book.

I am asking for a change at leveling a field for the wives of officers whose pleas for assistance have fallen on deaf ears. Respectfully, in the line of duty, an officer's funeral is held in the highest regard. For the funeral of a police officers wife, in my opinion, often killed with their husband's service revolver, her life holds the same honor.

Barbara Vanaman was killed in the line of duty as a wife, mother and victim, all because she wanted to move on, minus the violence.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit included in the book "Time's Up"

An “Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video has the additional psychological benefit of being forced to face reality and admit that the potential for the ultimate kind of violence exists…and that if it occurs the perpetrator will be held accountable.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit: A Victim’s Voice (c)(TM)(R)

Domestic violence or intimate partner victims now are able to provide information, in their own words, about the fears, dangers, experiences they have had at the hands of their abuser. The" Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" or "EAA" records victim's stories, histories, and experiences which are preserved and stored on their behalf. These videos will provide answers to the many questions, allegations, and fears that arise when a person has disappeared, gone missing, or been found dead.

In relationships it is important to equip one's self with the proper tools before announcing "it is over." That, is what cost Bea Dickey her life. Unfortunately, hers life mirrors thousand of others across the county, victims of intimate partner violence, trying to break away from their abusive relationships with their lives in tact.

If Beatrice Dickey, or any woman found murdered or is reported missing, had done an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, ON TAPE, from following the information in the “Time’s Up" book ,they would be able to describe:

- threats made against her life or wellbeing, including details of how the perpetrator would carry out the threat
- incidents of past abuse that the victim has endured
- admissions or comments made to her about other victims or people abused
- where evidence or weapons would or could be located
- possible alibis that the perpetrator would make up in his defense (including identification of people who could be co-defendant’s or co-suspects)
- portray visible injuries or marks

Just think if we incorporate the only effective plan in the country and have it available for every prosecutor, law enforcement, church, family law office and social service agency across the country, lives would be saved.

Through our corporate and security technology partners we bring the proprietary training to you and your company. And you can now be trained and certified to provide the "EAA" for your clients or within your law enforcement and legal communities or private company. If you are in law enforcement, private investigations, a lawyer practicing in family related matters including custody, a social worker, medical care provider, human resource or are with an employee assistance program or a direct insurer such as Blue Cross and Blue Shield, Zurich N.A., AIG, Anthem, Liberty Mutual, State Farm, AllState or Travelers.

Below is the video example of what someone does as they prepare:

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"fromCourage Network on Vimeo.

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence cases and prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team atManagement Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host ofThe Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Beatrice Ann Dickey: Taking Silence Implementing Action

I read a lot of amazing words from friends and colleagues for Beatrice Ann Dickey age 44, silenced earlier yesterday. Her life hijacked by a man to whom she was married. His weapon of destruction a metal baseball bat.

Ironically Beatrice worked in the Polk County Florida's Sheriff's office. Her boss Sheriff Grady Judd fondly referred to her as "his right hand."

When someone that we work with or is known to us personally, murdered as a result of intimate partner violence it is difficult to fathom how a person could remove such a gem of an angel.

Bea Dickey was the highest ranking civilian employee in the Sheriff's office. This should have been the best place for her to seek assistance. Inform her boss what was happening and that she was in fear for her safety. But, as a society, victims are too embarrassed to say anything. Often believing "they" can handle the situation.

Now, Bea Dickey has been silenced in the war known as intimate partner violence resulting in homicide. The Polk County Sheriff's office and the State of Florida have the opportunity to take what has happened and turn it into action. A successful plan of action I began in 1989, when my own mother was silenced by my father a Chicago police detective before he committed suicide. Since their deaths, thousands across the country are alive because of her. Polk County now has the opportunity to provide the prescription by supporting others in the community, in her memory.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit

An “Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video has the additional psychological benefit of being forced to face reality and admit that the potential for the ultimate kind of violence exists…and that if it occurs the perpetrator will be held accountable.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit: A Victim’s Voice (c)(TM)(R)

Domestic violence or intimate partner victims now are able to provide information, in their own words, about the fears, dangers, experiences they have had at the hands of their abuser. The" Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" or "EAA" records victim's stories, histories, and experiences which are preserved and stored on their behalf. These videos will provide answers to the many questions, allegations, and fears that arise when a person has disappeared, gone missing, or been found dead.

In relationships it is important to equip one's self with the proper tools before announcing "it is over." That, is what cost Bea Dickey her life. Unfortunately, hers life mirrors thousand of others across the county, victims of intimate partner violence, trying to break away from their abusive relationships with their lives in tact.

If Beatrice Dickey, or any woman found murdered or is reported missing, had done an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, ON TAPE, from following the information in the “Time’s Up" book ,they would be able to describe:

- threats made against her life or wellbeing, including details of how the perpetrator would carry out the threat
- incidents of past abuse that the victim has endured
- admissions or comments made to her about other victims or people abused
- where evidence or weapons would or could be located
- possible alibis that the perpetrator would make up in his defense (including identification of people who could be co-defendant’s or co-suspects)
- portray visible injuries or marks

Just think if we incorporate the only effective plan in the country and have it available for every prosecutor, law enforcement, church, family law office and social service agency across the country, lives would be saved.

Through our corporate and security technology partners we bring the proprietary training to you and your company. And you can now be trained and certified to provide the "EAA" for your clients or within your law enforcement and legal communities or private company. If you are in law enforcement, private investigations, a lawyer practicing in family related matters including custody, a social worker, medical care provider, human resource or are with an employee assistance program or a direct insurer such as Blue Cross and Blue Shield, Zurich N.A., AIG, Anthem, Liberty Mutual, State Farm, AllState or Travelers.

Below is the video example of what someone does as they prepare:

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"fromCourage Network on Vimeo.


If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence cases and prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team atManagement Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host ofThe Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

A Mothers Wish: Find Her Daughter's Killer- Brittany Danielle McGlone

On the facebook page of Brittany Danielle McGlone you see a vibrant beautiful young woman (pictured) ready for an exciting evening at her high school prom.

A stranger viewing the photos posted by members of her family proudly displayed will see her from the first day she was brought home from the hospital, to every year that followed, marking a journey through the awkward teen years and then, in a blink of an eye, she was gone. Brittany was barely 19-years old, and brutally murdered in [Wood County] Winnsboro, Texas on May 4, 2007.

Brittany was bludgeoned to death in the home. allegedly, of her former boyfriend. You would think that police would already have the person responsible for her murder in custody. But, they do not.

Another holiday is arriving, there are no presents under the tree, no christmas decorations hanging, and with each passing year Brittany's mother's health is in decline. The lights that once burned so brightly in the McGlone home have all but burned out, with the exception of the light on the telephone.

This mother who night after night sits by the phone waiting for it to ring, hoping and praying it is a news reporter or a law enforcement officer informing her that an arrest has been made in her daughter's murder, a suspect is in custody. Sadly, Brittany's mother does hold out much hope that will happen when those in law enforcement have let the case go cold.

Brittany's mother has just one wish this year for Christmas, that someone, anyone with information on her daughter's murder step foward and contact the authorities.

That is her only wish.

If you have any information on this case please contact the Wood County Sheriff's Department, they can be reached at (903) 763-2201.

[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/  She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.  Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth  http://www.therothshow.com/) ]

Time's Up: "Free Sara Kruzan"

Yesterday on my radio show, "Time's Up!," I talked to Dawn Schiller about how her life circumstances led her to a relationship with porn star, John Holmes.  It was frank, and it was important for listeners to know the truth about how this grooming process and control happens to teens.  Dawn and I discussed the case of Sara Kruzan, and concluded that it could very well be Dawn, or any number of throwaway teens in this same position.  Sara Kruzan may be guilty of killing another human being, but this human being (and I use that term lightly) took away much more of Sara's life.  What's fair and just?

Sixteen-year-old human trafficking victim Sara Kruzan was sentenced to life in prison without parole when, in a desperate act to escape captivity, she shot her pimp. When Sara met G.G., the 31-year-old man who would become her pimp, she was only 11. G.G. groomed Sara two years before he raped her. By then, his control was complete and he forced her into prostitution. Sara and the other girls who G.G. exploited were out on the streets from 6pm to 6am, every night. Twelve hours a night, seven days a week, for three years, Sara was raped by strangers so G.G. could profit. After three years, she snapped, and she killed him.

Now 32, Sara has spent half her life in prison as a model prisoner, and has asked Gov. Schwarzenegger for clemency. Sara was arrested and tried in 1994, before anyone was using the term "human trafficking" and when the country was still struggling to understand issues like domestic violence and pimp control that give one person coercive control over another. So there was no expert witness at Sara's trial to explain how her years of repeated rape, trauma, and abuse had affected her actions. There was no expert to tell the jury that with counseling, support, and care, Sara could heal from her traumatic past and grow to be a strong and moral woman.


Sara's clemency plea has been submitted to Gov. Schwarzenegger, and the decision of whether or not to release her with time served rests solely with him. Sara Kruzan deserves hope. She deserves hope that she didn't survive being raped and sold for three years for nothing. She deserves hope that the darkest chapter of her life has passed, and a horizon lies ahead. She deserves hope that she can change, grow, and flourish as a woman. But in life without parole, there is no hope.


If you live and are a resident in the United States please click below and sign the petition for Sara:
http://criminaljustice.change.org/petitions/view/support_freedom_of_trafficking_victim_sara_kruzan_2

Tell Gov. Schwarzenegger that human trafficking victims deserve support and care, not prison. Ask him to release Sara with time served.

(Susan Murphy Milano, is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and where ever books are sold. And she is the host of Time's Up on http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and she is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated show with Dr. Laurie Roth on http://www.therothshow.com/)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

"The Battle Cry"

Victims of intimate partner violence ,and those killed by a person’s rage for the sake of argument, is invisible in the eyes of society. We each understand, as we read about tragic cases in the news, that the epidemic exists, but it does not have a voice or a face — because the media places victims lives in the "unimportant category box." Unless a case is filled with a rapid fire of interest like Drew Peterson ,who, in my opinion, might as well have two heads. My less than favorite "dickless wonder" only gained national attention because he was a cop and two wives met their tragic end by this "clever like a fox" individual guarding and controlling his domain, in my opinion, as only a serial abuser knows how to accomplish.

There have been few cases of late that have reached the level of coverage since the Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman murders. The death toll in this war on intimate partner homicide has risen considerably since the OJ trial and the media coverage has been nothing more than a brief burp.

 I could count the Laci Peterson murder and the death of her unborn son, but the coverage was in large part due to her mother who jumped and shouted from every roof top until the media covered the story. Laci Peterson's death was only covered because it was filled with tabloid type juicy twists and turns, when it should have received attention solely based on the fact that an innocent woman and mother-to-be lost her lost her life to war in battle due to a husband's rage.

For the thousands of other causalities whose "battle cry" has never been heard their lives must have more importance then a one liner on a grave marker.

Media coverage, other than sites such as Websleuths posting cases, or a grieving family member starting a web page in memory of their loved one, or on a Facebook page asking for information from the public in hopes of keeping interest on an unsolved case alive in hopes someone will listen, simply will fade away as if the casualty of war never existed in the first place. The unnamed soldier of war at least has a place in which to be counted and is remembered. Each year the President of the United States places a wreath on the tomb in honor the unknown soldier.

The war in the home is not a recognized battle, yet it should be. A victim cannot fight without having the necessary training and tools in order to survive. At a minimum it would require our legal system to handle cases of violence in the home as though they are positioned on the battlefield of war. From divorce to child custody, court orders of protection, to the general handing down the orders to their troops.

This is not a game. It is a real life battle involving families, children, mothers and fathers.

"Battle Cry" will work towards creating that voice for accountability and change how these cases are handled, investigated, and ultimately portrayed. Obviously, I can not do this alone. I need your help. Heed the call and join the cry..."The Battle Cry."

Email us with your interest to participate at MurphyMilano@gmail.com

Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS