Venus Stewart Case: Message to Ricky Spencer "Dude Be a Man!"

Venus Stewart has been missing since the morning she walked out from the front door of her parent’s home in her pajama's and was abducted. That was on the morning of April 26, 2010. She was estranged from her abusive husband. During the divorce Venus took the children to Michigan moved in with her parents.

This past April, Doug Stewart was found guilty by a jury and sentenced to life in prison. The person whom assisted him, Ricky Spencer was sentenced late last week to one year in the county jail for his participation in her abduction. This was a plea deal for his cooperation during Doug Stewart’s trial.

Sadly, the plea dead did not include telling prosecutors or anyone where Venus Stewart could be found. It is a double edge sword for any prosecutor and a continued life sentence in perpetuating the pain for families of missing persons.

The prosecutor did his job and justice was served. He had to weigh his options. A case like this without a body is difficult to prosecute. But, with Ricky Spencer’s testimony the case was made. For the family of Venus that will never give up until she is found.

I would like to believe that Ricky Spencer has a conscious. I am hoping perhaps when he is released which should be in about 6 months, he will be a man and call in a confidential tip to the Michigan State Police on where Venus can be found.

I am not sure if Ricky Spencer has a mother of his own or anything really about his personal life. I do know if Ricky Spencer went missing his family would do everything in their power to find him. I can’t imagine anyone putting a family through such pain when they have the answer. I do know that when he gets out either he will read this in jail or when he does a Google search for his name. I thought about his part in the taking of a life and would ask him to please give the family closure and provide the location of their daughter.

Anyone that provides the location in this case is automatically protected. You cannot be arrested or charged for calling in a tip.

Anyone with information on the case is asked to contact Michigan State Police White Pigeon Post at 269-483-7611 Rockford Regional Dispatch Center, 616-866-6666.

Ricky Spencer, be a man and do the right thing!

More details on the case here:

http://murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/2010/05/new-handbook-how-to-get-aawy-with.html

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

Tina Adovasio: Missing Mother of Intimate Partner Violence-Bronx New York

Edwin Coello, an ex NYPD officer, claims, "he doesn't know where she is." He is referring to his estranged wife, and mother of his 5 year old daughter, Tina Adovasio, who has been missing from Bronx, NY since Friday, March 11, 2011.

According to the NY Daily News, Edwin Coello has a long history of domestic violence charges, and was fired from the police force in 2000 for violence against his first wife. As usual, history in violent homes repeats itself, and his marriage to Tina Adovasio was no exception. Records show that Coello was charged several times with violence against her, and just last month Tina filed for divorce, obviously without a secure plan in place for her safety.

Tina Adovasio, a 40 year old nurse, is the mother of four children, who her own mother, Adrienne Susco, is quoted as saying, "He lied and told the cops she had run off before and left the kids," Susco said. "Never, ever would she leave her children." As in just about all other cases where a mother goes missing, a family member makes this statement.

Coello has been questioned by authorities, but denies any involvement with Tina's vanishing; he has retained a lawyer, spurring investigators to take out a search warrant for his car which he refused to allow them to search voluntarily.

Coello admits to having an argument with Tina the night she disappeared, but says that she stormed out of their apartment, leaving everything behind, including her children. The most incriminating piece of information has been a blurry tape of Coello dragging a large duffel bag from the home, reportedly "large enough to contain a body."

The ingredients are all there, once again, for the stew that many missing mothers find themselves in. A past history of domestic violence, so bad that they interfered with his job as a police officer, a wife that had had enough and boldly made plans to end the relationship, and the fact that he was the last person to see her, all adds up to a presumption of guilt. Although not yet charged, nor convicted, and ultimately presumed innocent, Edwin Coello joins the ranks of Scott Peterson, Mark Hacking, Drew Peterson, Shon Pernice, and recently convicted murderer, Doug Stewart, as another man who thinks his wife just "ran off."

Another family is devastated by the not knowing where their loved one is, along with four children who deserve to know what has happened to their mother. Of course, hope is always there that she is found alive, perhaps safely escaping the anger and wrath of a man who's repeatedly beaten and abused her.


Tina Adovasio is described as 5-foot-5 and 135 pounds with a slim build. She was last seen wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and Ugg boots.
Anyone with information is urged to call Crime Stoppers at 1 800 577 TIPS (8477). The public can also submit their tips by logging onto the Crime Stoppers website.

If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, know that there are measures you must take before announcing the end of your relationship. These safety precautions can be found in the book, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship" by Susan Murphy Milano. Don't take things into your own hands without expert guidance.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Special Series: Is It Where They Wanna Be?

In 1982, Peggy Dianovsky, who lived in Schaumburg, IL, and a mother of 3 young boys, was very close with her husband Robert to finalizing a settlement on their divorce after a 10-year violent and controlling marriage. Her husband stated when he was questioned by authorities said she just "yea she wanted to go and took off." For 28 years, Robert Dianvosky has repeated the same story "she left voluntarily, taking a few clothes, leaving behind her 3 boys, her car, and her last paycheck."

Although Peggy vanished so many years ago, her unsolved case, is relevant, today in 2010, for several reasons. Including how it weave's into the Stacy Peterson, and Kathleen Savio case(s) and other missing mothers it is a direct connection to intimate partner homicide.

Peggy’s brother Gus, not her husband Robert reported Peggy missing 5 days after the night of the couple's last fight. Similar to Drew Peterson, it was Stacy's sister Cassandra Cales whom reported her missing. In a large number of mothers who vanish, the husband is rarely the person to contact the police and make a report. Drew Peterson also claimed "Stacy just took off and she is where she wants to be."

After their mother disappeared the boys" Andrew, Bobby and John, were never allowed to talk about Peggy after she was gone, an unspoken rule from Robert Dianovsky, their father. Similar to Drew Peterson, although now behind bars awaiting trial for the alleged murder of Kathleen Savio, the unspoken rule also applied to his children, especially in my opinion after Stacy disappeared. Not surprising the relatives of Peggy Dianovsky were immediately cut-off from any further contact with the children. And the same applied to the Peterson kids. Both members of the Savio and Cales [Stacy's family] have also been prohibited from any contact with all 4 of the children from both marriages. Sadly using their own words both men made the same remarks when asked where their loved ones are in reference to their wives vanishing-"they are where they wanna be." This phrase is key and it speaks volumes to each man whose then wife or girlfriend wanted to end the relationship. In the mind of a violent man, when they have had all they are going to take from a wife or a girlfriend, the rage inside of them can explode at anytime. Some will kill their entire family; while others kill and then commit suicide; and then their are individuals able to plan and carry out the crime, taking the chance they have covered their tracks the victim may never be found and they will not be convicted of the murder because there is no body.

At age 31 Andrew was a middle school teacher, and apparently started remembering things from the night of September 12, 1982. After intense therapy he was able to recall a violent fight that night, seeing his father holding a butcher knife to his mother's throat. This was a mere 24 hours before Peggy Dianovsky would disappear for good.

In 2003, now living on Arizona, Robert Dianovsky was arrested for Peggy's murder after his 3 sons urged authorities to re-open the case, feeling safe that they could now share their most secret memories. There was no body and no other physical evidence, this was a circumstantial case that went to trial in Cook County, IL, in 2004. [more about the trial in part 3 on 8/28/2010]

Be sure to return for the next installment of this Special Series Friday, August 27, 2010"Is it Where They Wanna Be?

Remember to tune in every Monday evening at 9:00 PM EST with Former Atlanta Prosecutor turned defense attorney, Holly Hughes, Cold Case Institute Director, Sheryl McCull0m and Violence expert and author Susan Murphy Milano to "Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation", on Blogtalk radio.

"Special Report" The Kathleen Savio Murder Case" On The Susan Murphy Milano Show Monday June 14, 2010 at 9:00 PM EST and 8:00PM CST

Tonights Guests Sheryl McCollum of the Cold Case Institute, Peter Hyatt Investigator, State of Maine Statement Analysis Labratory for Scientific Interrogation.

During this special hour we will discuss and investigate what really happened to Kathleen Savio former wife of former Bolingbrook police Sgt. Drew Peterson. What can we do to prevent these tragedies that we read about in the headlines from happening in the future?


Drew Peterson is currently in jail awaiting trial for the murder of his third wife Kathleen Savio.

For the lastest on the case visit http://www.petersonstory.wordpress.com/

The number to call in with questions or comments is 1-347-326-9337

DATE: Wednesday, June 15, 2010


TIME: 9: 00 PM Eastern Time and 8:00 PM Central Time

Show Link: www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

If you miss the show be sure to return to this site where it will re-play you can down load the podcast by going to the link for the show Here

"Killing Them Softly" The Susan Murphy Milano Show Wednesday May 26, 2010 at 4:00 PM EST/ 3:00 PM CST

Today’s show famed international Private Eye Vito Colucci, Jr. for the past 20 years, he has worked numerous high profile cases; such as Michael Skakel/Martha Moxley case, Jayson Williams manslaughter case in New Jersey, and the honeymooner George Smith case. Using good old fashioned police skills and marrying it with the latest technology this veteran cop tuned private eye has worked on everything from intimate partner violence murders, rapes and corrupt priests. He is the author of the highly acclaimed book “Inside the Private Eyes of a PI”.

Vito is a regular commentator on various news programs including MSNBC, Nancy Grace and Glenn Beck/CNN Headline News, Fox News and Larry King Live.

And on June 2, 2010 at 8:00 PM on Blogtalk Radio Vito Colucci, Jr., along with Dennis Griffin and myself debut the new show ” Crime Wire.” The show created for families of violent and unsolved crimes to find answers and seek justice.

And Al Dressler expert in the field of crime computer forensics and data recovery, cell phone forensics, email tracing, network security audits and digital cctv camera network installations.

The number to call into the show with questions or comments is :

1-347-326-9337

DATE: Wednesday, May 26, 2010
TIME: 4: 00 PM Eastern Time and 3:00 PM Central Time

Show Link: www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

If you miss the show be sure to return to this site where it will re-play automatically through June 2, 2010 or you can down load the podcast by going to the link for the show.

"The Battle Cry"

Victims of intimate partner violence ,and those killed by a person’s rage for the sake of argument, is invisible in the eyes of society. We each understand, as we read about tragic cases in the news, that the epidemic exists, but it does not have a voice or a face — because the media places victims lives in the "unimportant category box." Unless a case is filled with a rapid fire of interest like Drew Peterson ,who, in my opinion, might as well have two heads. My less than favorite "dickless wonder" only gained national attention because he was a cop and two wives met their tragic end by this "clever like a fox" individual guarding and controlling his domain, in my opinion, as only a serial abuser knows how to accomplish.

There have been few cases of late that have reached the level of coverage since the Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman murders. The death toll in this war on intimate partner homicide has risen considerably since the OJ trial and the media coverage has been nothing more than a brief burp.

 I could count the Laci Peterson murder and the death of her unborn son, but the coverage was in large part due to her mother who jumped and shouted from every roof top until the media covered the story. Laci Peterson's death was only covered because it was filled with tabloid type juicy twists and turns, when it should have received attention solely based on the fact that an innocent woman and mother-to-be lost her lost her life to war in battle due to a husband's rage.

For the thousands of other causalities whose "battle cry" has never been heard their lives must have more importance then a one liner on a grave marker.

Media coverage, other than sites such as Websleuths posting cases, or a grieving family member starting a web page in memory of their loved one, or on a Facebook page asking for information from the public in hopes of keeping interest on an unsolved case alive in hopes someone will listen, simply will fade away as if the casualty of war never existed in the first place. The unnamed soldier of war at least has a place in which to be counted and is remembered. Each year the President of the United States places a wreath on the tomb in honor the unknown soldier.

The war in the home is not a recognized battle, yet it should be. A victim cannot fight without having the necessary training and tools in order to survive. At a minimum it would require our legal system to handle cases of violence in the home as though they are positioned on the battlefield of war. From divorce to child custody, court orders of protection, to the general handing down the orders to their troops.

This is not a game. It is a real life battle involving families, children, mothers and fathers.

"Battle Cry" will work towards creating that voice for accountability and change how these cases are handled, investigated, and ultimately portrayed. Obviously, I can not do this alone. I need your help. Heed the call and join the cry..."The Battle Cry."

Email us with your interest to participate at MurphyMilano@gmail.com

Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS

Wendy Stevens and a Husband's Rage

Wendy Stevens went through a bank ATM machine, her four children in the car with her when five rounds of gunfire blasted into the SUV killing the 36-year of mother.

This was not a random act of violence. It was a husbands rage.

As I pen this post, it is the children who will be forever scarred by this single, life altering event. When a child witnesses the cold blooded murder of a parent. that vision is literally tatooed in them for the remainder of their days on earth. The repeated memory of these children will be of being helpless and watching as Mommy is shot,  bullets entering her body with lighting speed while buckled up in her seat slumped over the steering wheel.  It is the last picture they will have of their Mother.

In my opinion. no amount of therapy will prepare them for their life's journey. The months ahead will be cruel as they attempt to get through a single day without reliving this nightmare. The news coverage of this case will go on for months and perhaps years.



When the children return to school they will feel isolated and alone. They will not be able to cope with seeing parents drop off their school mates without remembering their mother. The kids will have difficulty in anything that reminds them of their interaction with their Mother. It is my hope that the community will rally around these children and embrace them gently as they take baby steps back into society.

That the adults in their lives will protect them from ignorant individuals. some who knew or were related to either the victim or the murderer, who show their lack of intelligence as they post inapprorpiate comments of this tragedy on various Internet sites. Repeating them here would be giving true ignorance a forum for folks who have no clue about Intimate Partner violence and homicide.

There is one Internet comment I will post from someone named Dixie 17:

"Wendy is my aunt and she was a great mother. She was a loving, fun, and caring person with a big heart. She had four beautiful children and she loved them with all of her heart; anyone who knew her could tell you that. It is such a tragedy that these young children had to witness their mothers death. I have met mike quite a few times and he is a twisted person. He has been arrested for strangling her so she put a restraining order on him. He was arrested again for violating the restraining order, and he continued to stalked her. I believe he deserves a whole lot more than the state of Alabama would allow. On top on murdering the mother of his two children he put his own child’s life in danger. So for those of you who posted comments in his favor need to look at the facts, and you may also need to talk to a counselor. Rest in peace my love, you are missed dearly"



[Case Overview-Wendy Stevens filed for divorce in January and she also had a court order of protection against her estranged husband who was, according to the judge's order. violent and stalking her. On Tuesday, May 11, 2010, as he killed Wendy, the coward fled the crime scene. On Wednesday Michael Berry was arrested and charged with her murder, on that same morning he was scheduled to appear in court for violating the order.]

Rest in peace Wendy Stevens and may God grant you the ability to watch over your children and direct their lives from the heavens.


Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS

New Handbook: "How To Get Away With The Ultimate Murder"?

Another woman vanishes. This time the young mother of 2 children, ages 3 and 5, while walking to the mailbox in front of her parents home, still in her pajamas, is abducted.

Venus Stewart has been missing since the morning of April 26, 2010. If you have learned anything from this site it is that I do not jump to conclusions. There are many cases of missing women and those found murdered that you do not see written about here because of various information I am unable to obtain about the case at the time. And sticking my neck out without the facts or restricted information is not healthy to the victims nor their families. But, bringing their case,s whenever possible, to the public's attention and those who are in a relationship with an abusive person is the very least we can each do in hopes of preventing another tragedy.

My work and expertise is based soley on 20 years with these cases of intimate partner violence, police officer abuse within the home, stalking, domestic violence and homicide.

The case of missing Venus Stewart has many scratching their heads, with the exception of law enforcement and few others, myself included. The estranged husband was in another state and by car he would have had to drive 13 hours there (maybe he rented a car or borrowed one) and 13 hours back by the time police questioned him after Venus was abducted.

Lets get out my note book on this case-

Fact: the couple was going through a divorce;
Fact: the couple was going through a major custody battle;
Fact: Venus moved out of the marital residence in Virgina and into her parents home in Michigan;
Fact: The couple had 2 children;
Fact: Vensus Stewart had obtained numerous police reports;
Fact: Vensus Stewart had obtained a minimum of 2 orders of protection from a judge;
Fact: She told friends and family she was in fear for her life from this man;
Fact: According to Venus and in court orders of protection she informed the courts her life was in danger.

It is possible that someone was hired by the estranged husband the day Vensus was abducted. This reminds me of another recent case where the person of interest was in another location, a casino, gambling, at the time of the murders. Allegedly, a month before the shooting, Johnny Borizov hired his best friend, Jacob Nodarse to kill Angela and her parents. The evening of the shooting, Borizov was at a Joliet casino, captured on casino video, which he could conveniently claim as an air-tight alibi. According to sealed DuPage County court documents, Angela and Borizov had been scheduled to appear at a hearing a week after the killings. To read the case go here.

Police are looking for a man, in the Venus Stewart disappearance, who people in the rural town saw hanging around the day before and thought it was suspicious. And police have issued a sketch of the man. Could this person have been hired by the estranged husband to help the day Venus was abducted? At this point, no one seems to know that answer.

Now, if I am an angry abuser, not wanting the person with whom I am in a realtionship with to leave, and I have a violent temper, I am going to boil over like hot liquid on a stove. And, as an abuser, I have a lot of time to think out a plan of action. I am going to threaten the person where no one else can hear me. I will make a victim's life unbearable in mediation meetings with mental health evaluators, while sitting dressed neatly and showing the world what a wonderful person I am. The moment the session is over I will shoot those looks of "now you did it" and "you are going to pay for this." Next, as custody is being determined, as an abuser I am outraged and say to myself, "she is not getting away with this alive."

I then, as the abuser, figure out where to get that "handbook" available to members only in an e-book format that the recently formed "secret society of abusers" are all reading titled, "How to Get Away With the Ultimate Murder," author unknown.


For some abusers, in my expert opinion, the "handbook" has worked in cases where the victim has vanished without a trace. There must be a chapter in the "handbook" on how to correctly lawyer up, as you will notice each "person of interest" no longer cooperates with authorities, often hiring a fairly skilled defense attorney, almost immediately. The legal hired gun acts as the shield or the mouth piece for the only person, once again in my expert opinion, behind the vanishing act of their loved one.

Isn't it rather strange that the victim is often the mother of their children, estranged wife or former girlfriend. And, more often than not, they are going thru a divorce or custody battle. And, yes, I need to mention that a person is innocent until proven guilty.

Every single one of these cases has a common theme, the person has been erased from the planet. And a common theme does not make one guilty of the crime. But, it is highly unusual that the person with whom the relationship has ended does not have a motive. The facts, although circumstantial, do carry a lot of weight, but, often not enough for a grand jury indictment unless you have a body.

So, I offer the following suggestions to law enforcement in this case where the "handbook" has obviously been downloaded:

• First obtain a search warrant for all computers both business, personal, close friends and perhaps those of a relative, too.
• Gas receipts, credit cards used within that time period must be gathered.
• Unusual purchases at hardware and drugstores.
• Where was the person 72 hours prior to the abduction? Were they at work? Did they call in sick?
• Bank withdrawals within a two week period prior to her being taken.
• Cell phone activity needs to be captured between the time of the abduction and the following 36 hours after the abduction.

I will close with the words I copied today from a post at  Websleuths  following this case:

"I think that many women who've had an abusive spouse in their past may somewhat identify with Venus. She left her abuser, did what was RIGHT, and yet she's currently missing and her abuser is the only named person of interest in the case.

I give Venus kudos for, against all odds, leaving her abuser and getting her children out of that environment. There is no telling what her poor daughters have witnessed in the past. Worse, it can't be as awful as what they're experiencing now and will in the future...everything that we know about spousal abuse has come to fruition in this case. And as a result, these two girls will probably grow up motherless, but at least knowing that their mother mustered the courage to get them out of an abusive situation, even though it cost her life."

Anyone with information on the case is asked to contact Michigan State Police White Pigeon Post at 269-483-7611 Rockford Regional Dispatch Center, 616-866-6666.

Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS