What is Stalking? 
A person commits stalking when he/she knowingly and without lawful justification
engages in at least two separate instances of:
1. Following another person (that means you) or
2. Placing another person under surveillance or
3. A combination of following and surveillance and transmits a threat to that
person (that means you) of immediate/future, bodily harm/sexual
assault/confinement / restraint or engages in conduct which places another
person in reasonable apprehension of receiving bodily harm/sexual
assault/confinement/restraint.
Stalking is a pattern of behavior.
Unwanted communication including, but not limited to:
- Voice messages
- Texting
- Emails,
- Letter writing
- Sending flowers or gifts
- Psychological terrorism
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Stalking is a crime. When there are two or more incidents and you have documented the stalking behavior, make a police report. Seek a court order of protection.
Violent Stage
When all attempts fail to “win” you back into their life, they could become more hostile, frustrated, angry and ultimately explosive. Violent behavior may include the following:
- Kidnapping
- Robbery
- Rape
- Assault
- Hurting family and friends
- Murder/suicide
Anyone is capable of stalking someone. Often, after a relationship has ended, stalking will begin or escalate. This is a very important time to pay attention to your surroundings. For a few months when driving, check your rear view mirror frequently to make sure you’re not being followed. Carry both home and car your keys in your hands, instead of your purse or pocket. If you have a roommate, call ahead and have him or her watch for you until you are safely in the door. It is also important not to date anyone, as this often enrages the abuser. He is already upset, depressed and potentially dangerous.
And seeing you out in public with someone new will likely set him off. Besides, you are in no emotional position to begin dating. This is no time to prove anything.
I suggest you consider going to a therapist and to spend some quality time in self care and healing.
It is common for a stalker to call you day and night. Consider changing your phone number. Phone service companies for both home and cell are pleasant and helpful when you explain you are receiving harassing and or threatening calls. If you have children, speak with them about not answering your cell phone. The same applies to your home phone: allow calls to go to voice mail.
Keep your children informed. You are no longer dating this person. For example, perhaps you are at work, when your kids are walking home from school. The kids are told you have been in an accident or he unexpectedly picks them up on the way home from school for ice-cream.
A divorced mother of two broke off a relationship with a man the children liked and trusted. Kay did not say much to the kids except that he would no longer be around. She felt the kids did not need to know the man she was dating was controlling, obsessive and downright scary. When Kay came home, Rob was in the kitchen making dinner with the kids. He had been harassing her and following every move, since their break-up. She remained calm. Kay excused herself to change out of her work clothes. Using her cell phone, she texted a friend for help. Twenty minutes later, police arrived and arrested Rob for stalking. Kay documented other evidence saving voice mails and text messages. It was enough to obtain a court order of protection. Always be prepared for anything.
Do not panic and remember to think on your feet. And pick up a copy of the book
"Time's Up" either from Amazon.com or buy it in E-book here on this site and prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affavit along with the example you can follow for the video below.
The person stalking you may have a weapon, be on drugs or in a suicidal depression.
He is obsessed with you, believes he cannot live without you, and, at the beginning, may attempt to be sweet by sending cards, flowers gifts, sweet text or email messages.
When that fails and you continue to ignore him, he may step up his efforts and begin stalking you aggressively by showing up at your workplace, waiting for you when you arrive at home, leaving notes on your car, or by stalking you, and committing acts of violence against you or your children. Keep a journal with dates and times, document all threatening incidents.
What is Cyber Stalking?
Black's Law Dictionary defines cyber stalking as “the act of threatening, harassing, or annoying someone through multiple email messages, as through the Internet, esp. with the intent of placing the recipient in fear that an illegal act or an injury will be inflicted on the recipient or a member of the recipient's family or household.”
Certain Internet capabilities facilitate cyber stalking by increasing the capacity to contact potential victims. These include chat rooms, bulletin boards, newsgroups, instant messaging, and other web communication devices. Also, the Internet provides a quick, inexpensive, and efficient means to collect and disseminate information to a large public audience. It can be used from anywhere in the world where there is Internet access to:
1. disseminate intimidating and threatening messages, including pictures, video, and audio;
2. transmit large volumes of junk mail or viruses in an attempt to damage data;
3. impersonate people and engage in inappropriate conduct in their name;
4. gather information for harassment purposes;
5. post false information about, and monitor and spy on, people;
6. encourage other people to track and harass people; and
7. engage in other harassing and intimidating behavior.
If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence and stalking simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!
The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available on Amazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com
Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship, create the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).
If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic,Kelly Rothwell or are found murdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel,Summer Inman, and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder, that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!
Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.
The National Center for Victims of Crime works to make sure all crime victims get the assistance and information they need.
Contact them for help, information about your options, and referrals to local services anywhere in the country. You can:
• Monday - Friday, 8:30 am - 8:30 pm EST at
1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)
or for the hearing impaired TTY line Call (1-800-211-7996)
