Cold Cases and Missing Persons Families

Everyday we receive requests to keep alive cases of the missing, suspected victims of intimate partner violence, and ultimately homicide, by featuring them on the blog or radio shows we do.

Sometimes it is virtually impossible to personally provide and answer all the emails or write about the lives of women and men caught in the silence of the abuse, power and control which they lived in daily, behind closed doors. We, as a nation, are at war in our own homes, a place once considered safe, for these women and men taken away from this earth before their time. Many a case goes cold because of lack of manpower, a proper investigation or not enough evidence to make an arrest.

The unexplained disappearances of just a few we list, out of the many thousands of missing and without answers, and all, in my opinion, victims of Intimate Partner Homicide:

• Michele Parker, 33, mother of 3, missing from Orlando, Florida, November 17, 2011
• Kelly Rothwell, 35, police cadet, missing from Florida, March 12,2011
• Jacque Sue Waller, 39, mother of triplets, missing from Missouri, June 1, 2011
• Jessica Lowery, 25 mother of 1, missing from Robeson County, NC, 2005
• Krishonda Townsend, 19, mother of 1, missing from Mineral wells Texas, July 4, 2007
• Lisa Stebic, 37, mother of 2, missing from Plainfield, IL April 30, 2007
• Stacy Peterson, 24, Mother of 2, missing from Bolingbrook, IL, October 28, 2007
• John James Morris, 37, missing from Dickerson, MD, reported missing July 30, 2007
• Patty Vaughn, 32, mother of 3, missing from LaVernia, Texas, December 25, 2007
• Michael Tapley, 51, Navajo County, Az, reported missing March 8, 2008
• Angie Denis Tucker, 34, mother of 2, Tulsa, Oklahoma, November 3, 2007
• John Spira, 45, reported missing from West Chicago, IL, February 23, 2007

Many of the aforementioned cases are listed, with additional information, at CUE Center for Missing Persons where they are registered as active cases. www.ncmissingpersons.org.  Agencies such as the CUE Center, a not for profit agency, depend on public donations to continue searching for those who suddenly vanish, without a trace.

We, as always, will continue to keep the lights on, as best as we can, for those who go missing. I ask that we all do our part and be messengers when we see or hear about a missing persons case, including supporting and commenting on sites and blogs. The national media pays attention more than you realize.

If you have or know of a case and you would like to be considered for the various shows available highlighting and bringing information public on missing persons, unsolved or suspicious deaths, cold cases etc., please email us at timesupforjustice@gmail.com and murphymilano@gmail.com

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.Whatever you do, if you or someone you know is ending a relationship, leave and go someplace safe.  Do not stay once you have filed for a divorce or announced the relationship is over.  And for heaven's sake have a plan of action BEFORE, you say or do anything!

The dangers should be carefully considered when ending a dating relationship or marriage. The reaction to rejection is costing lives. In cases where the victim has died, her fears during the relationship or marriage remain silent, telling family or friends is considered "hearsay" and it's not enough when the person responsible is finally brought to trial. As a precaution, victims are encouraged to prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video, also known as the "EAA." This removes hearsay and in a victim's own words provides historical abuse documentation, gives law enforecment and prosecutors a profile of the offender and shows his pattern of conduct prior to the crime should the victim vanish or be killed.

Document the Abuse.Com contains vital information on how the EAA can support each case of abuse from the perspective of the first responders and advocates, to an appearance in court. It explains the legal benefits to the abuse victim, whether they are able to testify or not, how their words are forever documented and hold up in court, much like a Living Will.

www.documenttheabuse.com

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime Susan is also the daughter of a Chicago Violent Crimes detective who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

In The Aftermath of Tragedy

By Susan Murphy Milano


Sometimes there are news stories that have an impact on us all months and sometimes years later. I recall how shaken I was at the time I read the news headline in 2009, “Domestic Violence leads to yet another death Anne Morell Petrillo. Forget, for a moment, that this 38 year-old woman who committed suicide was the daughter of heiress to the Scripps newspaper fortune.

In January of 1993, the then 22 year-old Anne found her mother Anne Scripps Douglas, 47, beaten and unconscious in the master bedroom of her New York home. Her mother never regained consciousness and died in the hospital a few days later. Anne’s step-father, a suspect, was not formally charged at the time for beating his wife to death with a hammer. He eventually committed suicide 3-months later jumping to his death from the exact same place that Anne Morell Petrillo chose to end her life.

In 1989, 5 years earlier, in Chicago, Roberta Murphy, also 47 years of age, would be discovered by her daughter, on the kitchen floor, dead with a bullet to the head. Philip Murphy, a decorated violent crimes detective, was in the bedroom dead of a self-inflicted gunshot to the head.

The question is, years after her mother’s murder why did Anne Morell Petrillo take her own life? Unfortunately, I know the answer.

The world expects surviving family members of homicide victims to transition the all consuming pain of loss into one of “getting on” or getting over the grief.” When a loved one dies under tragic circumstances the human mind plays the game of “if only I had gotten to the aid of that person” I could have saved them from being killed. If only I did not go out with my friends or not stopped for gas I could have somehow prevented the tragedy. A crime victim plays out the day, hour and moment leading up where the hands on the clock stopped moving to when they received the news or discovered the bloody body as if they were watching their lives while glued to a chair playing on a movie screen. The tragedy is paralyzing. Learning how to get out of one's one way in the aftermath becomes a daily struggle.

There are those who seemingly move past the grief like John Walsh whose son Adam was abducted and killed, Marc Klaas whose daughter Polly was sexually assaulted and murdered. But the truth is, they have not, instead each man has bravely channeled their energies to implement laws and hold the legal system accountable for those who prey on innocent and helpless children. Their “purpose driven life” is what allowed them to keep the grief and pain manageable, moving forward to help others.

As a society, there simply is no embrace in the aftermath of tragedy. Society dictates we all move on and as much as we try it is not possible to accomplish. Long after the lines of friends and family surround us in our darkest hour before our loved one is laid to rest, we as homicide victims are forced to proceed with our lives. Promises of remaining in contact by friends and family vanish when we attempt to talk about the tragedy or how much we miss the person. We are not invited out to dinner, nor called to see how we are doing. Instead, the survivor is pointed towards or referred to those in the mental health profession for guidance to assist them with the pain, because they too, those who knew us best prior to the tragedy, do not want to be reminded.

Many years have passed since the murder of my mother and suicide of my father. For me and thousands of others, each day is a constant struggle to find the hope and light that fuels our very existence.

Anne Morell Petrillo did not opt out of life because it was easy. She took her own life because society, those who initially surrounded and loved her, evacuated, taking with them the hope and light that she so desperately needed to survive.

As human beings we have an incredible ability to reach out to the others in our community, family, friends and strangers whose lives have been changed by events out of their control. The cost to us perhaps a cup of coffee and our time. This simple act of kindness is often the reason for those without hope to get up in the morning, because someone took time out of their day and acknowledged their existence.

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Topeka City Council Votes to Decriminalize Domestic Violence

Today, the city council voted to legalize domestic violence in Topeka, KS. You read correctly, domestic violence is now legal in the city of Topeka.

Those who opposed in the final vote were:

• Denise Everhart
• Richard Harmon
• Larry Wolgast

The City Council members who said the lives of victims and they children have no importance, not in their city anyway:

Dan Stanley- Interim City Manager

Mayor Bill Bunton

• Karen Hiller
• John Alcala,Deputy Mayor
• Sylvia Ortiz
• Chad Manspeaker
• Bob Archer
• Andrew Gray

The Councils email address and contact numbers are here in case you wanted to send an email: http://www.topeka.org/cityofficials/

To read more on Topeka go to today's "Time's Up Blog":

http://timesupblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/topeka-kansas-successfully-votes-making.html

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Common Denominator Leads to Murder

Ninety-five percent of girlfriends, wives and mothers who “suddenly” vanish, or are found murdered, share a common thread. The last person to have any contact, person of interest, or the individual with whom they were romantically attached, is involved in the crime.

It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out where a trail of blood goes, cold or not, it almost always points to the person in their life. There are a few exceptions to the rule of “who done it,” but those cases are far and few in between. As an example, when Amy Henslee vanished from her home in Hartford, MI, on January 24, 2011, the world of social media decided her husband, James Henslee, must have had something to do with her sudden disappearance. Four days later, the world was wrong, they did not have the facts. Amy Henslee was not a victim of anything but an acquaintance’s obsession resulting in a double homicide by Jr. Lee Beebe, a cousin to the husband, who also murdered his on again off again girlfriend, Tonya Howarth. Both women were discovered in a shallow grave by searcher Jamie Jones of the Missing You Foundation. This case was the exception.

Women like Stacy Peterson, IL; Renee Pernice, KS; Jacque Waller, MS; Hope Meek, OK; Patty Vaughan, TX; Susan Powell, Utah; all still missing, and the prime suspects, their husbands. They had vibrant productive lives, suddenly labeled in a crime file cabinet or drawer, opened when a lead is followed up or a family member is calling into police headquarters for updates and possible answers. The answers are easy, having more than circumstantial evidence, is the issue.

There are few experts in the field of intimate partner perpetrated crimes. The hesitancy to look at a husband or boyfriend as a suspect can depend on the size of the town, available manpower, prosecutor’s office and investigative skills, among other issues.

In my opinion, the case of Sandra Travis is not a complicated case to investigate and make an arrest. Sandra was living in a violent marriage when she disappeared July 31, 2005 from Mayfield, Kentucky, a rural area near the borders of Illinois and Tennessee. Sandra took a lot of punches over the years from her husband, Bobby Travis, probably another man who treated his wife as a piece of property, there to do his bidding, no caring for the way she felt. Someone needs to look under the trailer frome where she disappeared that evening. Maybe the Illinois State police can over ride the prosecutor who does not have much experience in obtaining a search warrant.

Another case is Renee Pagel, killed on August 5, 2006. She was a grade school teacher and a registered nurse. According to friends, Renee feared for her safety from her estranged husband. As many women say when they are married to an abusive spouse, "if something happens to me, make sure people know it was not an acciden," and yet, what I label as “Mayberry” police, have yet to arrest Michael Pagel. This is shear ignorance on the part of the investigators. Her life was silenced as she was ending the marriage; her husband’s response, in my expert opinion, was ending her life.

Sometimes it can take years for a family, even without locating the remains of their loved one to secure answers, when an arrest is finally made in a case. When Venus Stewart, (MI) vanished from her parents in April of 2010, there was only person who was responsible for her abrupt vanishing, her husband, Douglas. Earlier this year without a body, he was prosecuted and sentenced to life in prison. The family continues to search for Venus.

My hope is for everyone waiting for that unexpected phone call of a clue, tip or an arrest to remain strong and hopeful that answers in their loved ones cases will be forthcoming.

While these women's lives did not hold meaning to the person they were with, they did have great importance to many others whose faces you do not see or voices you do not hear because they are continuously searching and doing what they can to bring their loved ones home.

The month of October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Intimate partner violence occurs 365 days a year, 7 days a week. Perhaps doing something for those whom you know are in a rocky or violent relationship is a start to how you can help others.

Providing information on what you need to do if you or someone you know is in a potentially violent relationship is done with the hope of saving lives. My work in the area of intimate partner violence prevention  is a direct result of not being able to save my own mother back in 1989, killed by her police detective husband prior to committing suicide.

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when she announces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship. The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available on Amazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship, create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman,Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Network on Vimeo.

If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com