On November 8, 2011 a sentencing hearing is scheduled for Bob Ward 63 yrs. old, a wealthy developer convicted of 2nd-Degree murder of his wife Diane, by a Florida jury last month.
Ward faces a 25 years to life sentence and given his age he will likely die in prison. There was a lot of nasty speculation and blaming taking place no doubt by supporters of a man who killed his wife of 25 years in cold blood. A common theme known as "victim bashing" repeated across the country in a number of intimate partner violence cases that result in homicide.
These individuals hold masters degrees in manipulation. Behind closed doors their training begins with emotional abuse by chipping away at the mental well-being of their victim. Once the skill is somewhat perfected they often practice on other members of their immediate family and close friends. The picture they paint is slanted. When they go out as a couple should anything appear or sound out of place the offender seizes the moment to make it appear as if she is crazy. Or they tell stories over a long period of time setting the foundation for "things" changing in the relationship.
A "man's-man" never expresses emotions or feelings that are often attributed to women. Real me don't break in public. So when the clever psychopath opens up (tissue please) to those around him it is taken seriously. Factor in the offenders occupation and work ethic followed by a few Glen Grant scotch's served neat while enjoying a Davidoff Gran Cru cigar and you have the perception of a pussycat not a lady killer. Let's not forget a wonderful attentive and caring father, friend and employer.
He makes remarks like "I don't know whats wrong with her." "You know she is drinking more and more each day." "I am afraid to come for fear of what I will find." "I am being attacked in my own home." "She is crazy and needs help. "All I want is to be happy. I work my ass to provide, ya know?"
In between all of this she the victim is isolated from once close friends, family and her own children." The children caught in the middle and if old enough will comment "Why are you so mean? Why are you making dad crazy?" Instead of identifying to what was already happening before they learned to walk.
Why would anyone throw their life away when they have it all? Why didn't Bob Ward walk away? Because it's never the hand of cards an abuser hold. Fold-em and walk away; translation failure to be a "man."
Unless the perception set-up months and perhaps years before that "she" drove him to the ultimate action that resulted in murder. And he could take comfort in being absolved or forgiven by those closet to him.
News Flash: No one drives anyone to pull a trigger and commit murder. The one who pulls the trigger has planned and plotted over a long period of time. Abusers are thieve's gathering in the thousands in our society, taking away the very lives of their wives and mothers of their own children. Behind closed doors where no one can witness their behavior and actions.
It is difficult to comprehend a parent capable of killing anyone when they are so attentive and loving to everyone else, but the victim. This is key to the thousands of intimate partner homicide cases we hear and read about as the victims voice is forever silenced.
On September 24, 2011 a jury listened and Diane Ward's voice was heard. The case weighed heavily on the 911 call where Bob Ward says 5 times "I just shot my wife."
The defense attorney commented after the verdict was read, throwing-out remarks regarding the Casey Anthony trial, implying the verdict was based on a vendetta of sorts as if to say the Orange County Florida jury was swayed over that case's outcome and his client paid for it.
Intimate Homicide is a crime. Whether or not anyone loved, liked or could have cared less that Diane Ward died. No one has the right to take a persons life.
Taking center stage, is but one man, whom with taxpayer money is allowed to live, Diane Ward will never have that opportunity!
Just because you are not physically hurt in your relationship does not mean you are free and clear. Emotional abuse can and does lead to intimate partner homicide. In many of the recent cases where women have gone missing and have yet to be found, they were never hit or beaten with fists. Instead, words, the same as you see above were their abusers weapons. When that no longer worked they went from words to action, silencing women and the mothers of their own children, forever.
You cannot fix or rescue these individuals. They are toxic and dangerous to any relationship.
Before you consider filing for a divorce or moving out, you better have a plan. He (the abuser) has one if you leave. And the last time I checked designer body bags were not considered a fashion statement.
Time's Up!
[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.
Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth http://www.therothshow.com/
