Holding My Hand Through Hell by Susan Murphy Milano

Summary

This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer’s family and a daughter’s quest for justice long after the murder of her mother embracing a legacy of unconditional love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.

Based on a true story written with the flow of a novel, with frank wisdom and wit, “Holding My Hand Through Hell” encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family's life and become an advocate for change. It will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope, survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers applauding this woman wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour and now 20 years later, realizing that God, after all was holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to save others.

The book will be released in 2012. The forward for the book is written by Diane Fanning, Edgar nominated award winning true crime, fiction author.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy MilanoShow, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd.of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Sunshine in Sunrise Removed for Danielle Lorenzo and Linda Scudera as a Result of Intimate Partner Homicide

Over the weekend in Sunrise, Florida, a five year-old child runs out from witnessing a massacre in her own home to a neighbors door for help.

In front of the child [pictured above in grandma's arms] her step-father at close range shoots Danielle Lorenzo age 30[pictured right] her mother, fires another round at her grandma Linda Scudera, age 56, before turning the gun on himself committing suicide.

With the assistance of the neighbor the 5 year child spoke to the 911 operator in detail as to what happened. The call is very disturbing and it is below:

Listen:

UNCUT: Sunrise 911 Call

The child says " I need someplace to live my mommy, daddy and grandma are dead."

Today in court a hearing was held as to the temporary placement of the child. Under child services she will temporarily remain with a babysitter with whom she is familiar. But what happens to the child when these strangers who will have control of her until the age of 18, determine where to place her? Is anyone really all that concerned about another child, suddenly a number in the system?

The 911 call must be America's awake up to take action in all cases of intimate partner homicide and those left behind. Danielle had suffered prior incidents of abuse. She had enough and was planning on divorcing her husband. He responded to Danielle's request to end the relationship by killing she and her mother in cold blood.

The child will never, ever recover from this trauma. She will require services that the State of Florida will not cover due to lack of quality resources and services. Placing the child in the system will be internalized at some level as a punishment for what "daddy did to my mommy." And if you believe she will get past this or forget what happened, you are mistaken. When you witness or discover such horror, nothing erases it from your mind. Very few experts treating this type of specific trauma are not successful and often resort to medication as a major part of therapy.

The solution begins in recognizing intimate partner violence as a crime. The lives this shatters go beyond the victim and offender. It literally destroys the ability for a child to live a normal life well into their adult years.

Week after week I provide an insight into these real life tragedies, praying that the world will wake up and actually do something that changes lives. Treat these cases from the beginning with the same seriousness given to a drunk who gets in their car and drives. The offenders committing a first or second offense have no consequences as it relates to intimate partner violence. For the most part it is not dealt with as a crime, even though we have laws that say otherwise.

I am the daughter of Roberta Murphy. When she was alive, I had a brief glimmer that hope really existed. When she was murdered in cold blood by my father who then committed suicide, the sun stopped shinning in my life. And though I so readily attempt to pass hope out to the world like a piece of candy on a street corner, it is what gets me up most mornings. The possibility that I can and do keep another person alive.

Related Coverage:

http://www.local10.com/news/29298528/detail.html

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21005482080984/loved-ones-speak-out-on-double-murder-suicide/

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21005477005518/

http://www.local10.com/bobnorman/29307837/detail.html

http://www.techno-forensics.com/session/intimate-partner-violence-growing-epidemic-how-technology-can-aid-law-enforcement-and-prosec

Providing information on what you need to do if you or someone you know is in a potentially violent relationship is done with the hope of saving lives. My work in the area of intimate partner prevention of homicides for over 20 years is a direct result of not being able to save my own mother back in 1989, killed by her police detective husband prior to committing suicide.

And as always, if you have questions, my email adddress is murphymilano@gmail.com

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman,Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Network on Vimeo.

If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UPcan save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community. In partnership withManagement Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace.

Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

Radio Shows: Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

Books: Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives.

www.imaginepublicity.com

Elizabeth Dean, Brittany Kirk and Connor Kirk : Clear and Present Danger

In April of 2011, a man was convicted in the triple murders on February 13, 2009 of his wife Elizabeth Dean, 45 and (her) children Brittany Kirk age 14, Connor Kirk age 13.

The man responsible for the execution style murders did not just "snap" as reported by the media. He was not "insane." The questions, theory's or excuse's of husbands murdering as to the "Why's" often asked by law enforcement or used as a defense during plea deals or at trial completely miss the mark as it relates directly to intimate partner homicide.

Individuals committing these crimes are controlling and physically abuse over an extended period of time. You will not see them act out in public. Their actions are the opposite of what the general public, friends and relatives are lead to believe. Often, their voice is caring and warm. Their actions towards a wife or family member seen as devoted and affectionate. To a clever abusive manipulative and violent offender the general public is their stage. The audience sitting in front row seats watches an amazing academy award winning performance.

But, it is a far cry from who the psychopathic offenders really are in their home or castle, behind closed doors in the community where they reside.

I had a difficulty reading some of the media coverage on the murders. The opening of the news stories taking center stage on the offender as a "devoted and doting husband." In my opinion, given the nature of the horrific crimes, I as a homicide survivor found it insulting. The story should have focused more on how law enforcement are working to identify these perpetrators, victims and the dangers individuals pose when you remain in a violent because it will could lead to homicide. And, it would have been nice to see more warm and fuzzy words about Elizabeth and the children.

The warning signs were there in this case prior to the murders as further evidenced by the following statement I read provided to a reporter :

"From time to time, Dean -- an otherwise "sweet" and "God-fearing" husband and stepfather -- would speak of his dreams, in which he had "a desire to do violent things to people," said Muroski, of Richmond. "He wouldn't, because he knew it was wrong. But something inside him wanted to do it."

Profile of an Abuser

The abuser can be a male or female. The abuser can be sweet, handsome and unassuming to everyone, but you.

An abuser knows exactly how to manipulate all types of situations.

An abuser is the most generous and helpful person to the neighbor, your family, and friends. If you tell anyone you are being abused it is not likely you will be believed. When you are or were dating you thought it was “special” that this person was jealous of anyone who approached. Thinking how lucky you were until you moved in with them or married and the jealously turned into anger and rage, chances are you love this guy with all your heart and yet they still accuse you of having “secret affairs” or relationships with everyone else but, them.

The abuser is very insecure.

The abuser constantly questions your loyalty to them, the children and having a future together.

The abuser is clever at showing sincere intentions, but often has other motives

The abuser hurts or destroys family pets.

Jekyll and Hyde personality, they can be sweet one day and angry and violent the next.

The abuser is clever at showing sincere intentions, but often has other motives.

If you are pregnant, the abuser can become upset with you and angry and may attempt to make you miscarry. Once the child is born you may not be allowed to run and comfort your baby. An abuser expects the same attention and or sexual intimacy prior to the pregnancy.

An abuser may be unusually rough or use measures of discipline far too extreme on your child.

An abuser does not have the ability to love another person, is very critical of others.

An abuser blames you for everything that goes wrong in their lives; their job, outside pressures, whatever it is, you are blamed. Regardless of the situation; it is always your fault.

An abuser denies hurting you, almost acting like it never even happened.

The abuser will make excuses for why they become angry or physically violent.

The abuser blames their drug and alcohol abuse on you or their parents.

The abuser believes in maintaining control over every aspect of their lives to the point of obsession, including monitoring activities of you and or the children.

The Teeter Totter Abuser – remember when you were a child playing at the park?An Abuser rises you up and brings you down the same way as a teeter totter. One day they are driving you out of their lives saying things like “I have had it”, you are “worthless”

“I am leaving” to this is all “your fault” and beating you to “make you behave”.The next they are rising you up high by apologizing, sending you flowers, a card. They may actually cry or beg you not to leave them. They say things like: "I am sorry"; “It will never happen again"; “Don't you understand how much I love you?" They bring you gifts, or suggest a romantic weekend away. Suddenly they act as if they worship the ground you walk on. And acting as if they worship the very ground you walk.

Tarzan Abuser- their attitude and behavior is no different than “Me, Tarzan” (as they beat their chest) meaning they are superior to you, they are the “provider.”To “You, Jane” follow my lead, do as I say, be their slave, wait on their every desire, you are the invisible less important person in the relationship.

An abuser has an important career in the public, people depend on them for answers, and the abusive person brings this attitude home with them.

Providing information on what you need to do if you or someone you know is in a potentially violent relationship is done with the hope of saving lives. My work in the area of intimate partner prevention of homicides for over 20 years is a direct result of not being able to save my own mother back in 1989, killed by her police detective husband prior to committing suicide.

And as always, if you have questions, my email adddress is murphymilano@gmail.com

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman, Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Network on Vimeo.

If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UPcan save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com