Family Courts "Splattered in Blood"

Sunday morning, three children ages 7,12 and 14 took their last breaths,as their father, during a court ordered visitation, Muhammed Goher, 47 of Houston, Texas opened fire. The school bags, neatly at the foot of the beds where the children were shot, splattered in their blood. Beanie Babies along the wall of the 7-year olds bed, soaked in her blood.

On Friday, Norma Goher, the children's mother dropped off the kids to their father, the couple was divorced, and he was to return them back to her on Sunday. The family court knew Muhammed was not stable and yet the judge went ahead and signed the order for visitation anyway. A hearing on visitation issues and removal of overnight visits with the father was scheduled for September 27th. In my opinion, one more time of court mandated "daddy time", cost the kids their lives.

There is an automatic presumption that it is in the best interest of a child “regardless of court orders”, prior violence or threats, to maintain visitation with both parents. Victims of domestic violence face a double edged sword. Either expose their children to imminent danger, or defy the court system refusing to allow visitation. Like so many others before her, Norma atttempted to deal with a violent relationship in a dysfunctional family court environment.

In family court the two parties are presumed to be on a level playing field--law abiding individuals who have a disagreement over a private family matter. A core assumption of family law is that family disputes are not criminal disputes. As such, there are few safeguards built into the family court system to protect against the criminal dynamics that dominate family disputes in cases of family violence. In addition, the accusations the victim makes in family court, no matter how serious, carry no more authority than one person's say so. One of the most serious consequences is that when a family violence victim opens a case in family court against her abuser, the abuser is given equal opportunity to fight back against the victim's accusations, often because the abusers past is not an issue. Unless, of course, he is brought in from county or state prison sporting an orange jump suit and leg shackles.

There are lawyers and men’s groups who argue using domestic violence with a broad brush is not a reason to deny fathers visitation with their children. Accusing mothers of lying or making up stories to keep fathers’ from their children.

Under the current laws, a parent without custody is entitled "reasonable visitation." There is a high burden of proof as evidenced in this case when a court refuses to take into account dangerous abusers pose to their children.

Until we place the issue of labeling these cases as a "private matter" or an isolated incident, expect the death toll among children to rise. Expect the courts to continue to ignore obvious danger signs when a victim of violence is or has ended the relationship.

After killing his children, he shot himself in the head, but remains alive and is expected to survive the attempted suicide.

(Susan Murphy Milano, is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and where ever books are sold.)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

"Dead Eyes Tell the Story"

Remember the saying 'the devil made me do it?" It applies well to criminals of intimate partner violence and homicide as the evil side of an abuser releases an invisible stench. We as family, community and co-workers can not see the pure evil associated with an abuser because they are so clever at hiding it from everyone, with the exception of those they prey upon. Innocent women and their children are the abuser's easy targets.

Why? The abuser works behind the scenes where they are unable to be detected by anyone but those in their home, and with whom they are, or were, in an intimate relationship.

Earlier this week Shon Pernice was indicted for the murder of his wife Renee Pernice, 35, last seen on New Years day in 2009, another victim who vanished without a trace, no different than Stacy Peterson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, Venus Stewart and many others who were mothers living in fear and would have never left without taking their children. And, yet, all 5 of the vanishing women's estranged husbands had come down with "abuser brain freeze." When your wife vanishes the brain locks up and the only response to why their wife and mother of the children is suddenly gone is, "I don't know but, we just want her to come home." In each case, if you review media interviews or read their direct quotes, they speak in the "catch me if you can." lingo.

Notice how their abuser body language is the same, how the corners of their mouths slightly turned up trying not to smile, their shoulders are slightly curved as they look into the camera. The eyes tell no lies.  Each man has "dead eyes," dialated and widened a bit more than usual, trying to look concerened for the cameras as they attempt to spin pure hatred to words of compassion.

The terror each woman suffered was literally at the hands of an evil monster, a.k.a their loving husbands.

Turning into the devil, these abusers with predator like characteristics, in my opinion, thought for months as to how they would get away with murder. I remember finding hand written journals my father had written prior to murdering my mother. On several legal pads, in his chicken scratch, was page upon page of dates and times where he was tracking her every move. Then my father layed out his plan of action.

An abuser, in my expert opinion, does not allow their victim to go quietly from their life without some type of pain and suffereing. I'll use my mothers case as an example because I believe it applies to the majority of victims killed by their partners.

My father lured my mother to my childhood home making her believe she had to sign a legal document. Once she entered the home he pulled a gun out, got her in a head lock, dragged her up the four steps to the kitchen and told her how she was going to die. He taunted her with his angry words. I can hear him say"Roberta, your going to die, your a bitch, I gave you everything, Its time to pay for leaving me" . Forget that this veteran law enforcement officer was the king of his domain or that he was loved by everyone who knew him.

My mothers eyes were no doubt filled with the worst human terror a person suffers hours, minutes or seconds before their life is taken. Still in a headlock for what must have seemed like hours, and more likely only several minutes, according to neighbors accounts and a time line of events I had created, without a doubt my mother pleaded for her life. But, in true to form abuser behavior, my father wanted his face to be the last my mother saw when he pulled the trigger. And then he took his own life.

For Venus Stewart, who vanished while walking out to her mailbox on April 26, 2010, I think more than one person may have been involved. Her husband, in my opinion. likely enlisted the help of someone. She was caught by surprise. Once secured for transport and still alive, one person had her legs and feet the other her held the upper body and she was thrown into the car, driven to a different location where the abuser made certain his face was also the last his victim saw before she was killed.

When Renee Pernice vanished mysteriously, as her husband Shon would have the world believe, he, in my opinion, made certain the children were out of the home. In my opinion, his experience as a trained fire fighter came in handy when he, too, likely made ceratin Renee knew she was about to be killed. Pernice was angry. Renee was ending the marriage and he wanted her to pay. In "real time violent partner homicide" the abuser is easily excited, sickly arroused, as they speak to their victim and tell them they are about to die. Abusers get off on the power of final control over this persons life knowing their face, too, is the last she will ever see as they take a final breathe.


The bodies of all five women have yet to be found. In three out of the five cases I do believe they will never be recovered, and pray I am wrong.

Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS

Susan Murphy Milano Hosts A Special Hour: Monday April, 12, 2010 at 8PM Eastern Time

A special hour devoted to Domestic Violence, Stalking and Intimate Partner Violence perpetrated by police officers in the home.

Date: Monday April 12, 2010

Time: 8PM EST/ 7PM Central / 5PM PST

Susan Murphy Milano's guest's for the entire hour are:

Joseph Hosey author of the acclaimed book "Fatal Vows The Tragic Wives of Sergeant Drew Peterson." Hosey has been a reporter for the Chicago-area's Herald News since 1999 and has been on the cusp of every major development in the Drew Peterson case. He is the only member of the media to cover Kathleen Savio's inquest, and he broke the stories of her death as well as Stacy Peterson's disappearance.

Steph Watts producer, blogger and has done investigative work with Mark Fuhrman for OTR at FOX News on the disappearance of Stacy Peterson was seminal. She was the fourth wife of Bolingbrook Police Officer Drew Peterson, and prime suspect in her disappearance. This work led to the reclassification of the death of Peterson’s third wife Kathleen Savio, from an accident to a homicide.

And Pastor Neil Schori from the Naperville Christian Church will be with us for the entire hour. Pastor Schori is also a national advocate for victim's of abuse and stalking.

To listen to the show live and participate in the chat room, the direct link is HERE

We will take your call live. The number to call in with questions is:

(347) 326-9337

Charlie Sheen: "Abra Kadabra"

On Christmas day actor Charlie Sheen was arrested in Colorado for attacking his wife. He remained in jail until he appeared before a judge. Bond was set and Sheen posted $8,500 and was released. His wife, Brooke Mueller, also received an order of protection prohibiting Sheen from having any contact with her.

The only reason Charlie Sheen made national headlines for attacking his wife on Christmas day is because Sheen just happens to be a Hollywood actor on a successful television sitcom and is a spokes person promoting fashion style and comfort for men's underwear.



In the real world of everyday folks when a call is made because an individual is beating or threatening the person with whom they are in a relationship, police response and immediate legal action, such as issuing a court order of protection or setting a high bond, can be a magical illusion.

Our nation's legal system is like a magic act. The magician is on stage as they place a magic wand over an object to appear or vanish. Exactly how the legal system for victims of violence responds to the “regular folks” in the real world.

The State of California had ample opportunity to create a working domestic violence and homicide bureau after the Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman murders. At that time the Department of Justice was awarding large grants to municipalities across the country, specifically for intimate violence and homicide. But L.A., who could have set the tone for the country on how to properly handle these cases, was too busy back peddling from the public relations nightmare of the OJ Simpson investigation and trial.


Now actor Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke Mueller are being investigated by Los Angeles County’s Department of Children and Family Services and could potentially have their nine-month-old twin boys, Max and Bob, taken away from them temporarily. Wow! Does DCFS have legal grounds to do this when the incident happened in another State?



Does DCFS pursue or monitor “regular folks” who are not celebrities being threatened or stalked and take away their children? The answer is no! Do they even bother to investigate the claims of “regular folks” where the abuser threatens the lives of innocent children? The answer, is no!

Part two of this special series continues on Thursday, January 7, 2010.

And on January 13, 2010 the Susan Murphy Milano Show returns at 4:00 PM Eastern time. The show topic "Killing Me In The Courtroom."

Clear Motive

It was two days after Christmas and 18 days after the ink barely dry on the divorce papers when, Mathew Schneider stormed into the home of his ex-wife as their 8year-old watched when "daddy" shot Mom and her new boyfriend multiple times before turning the gun on himself.

Brandy Schneider filed for divorce in Stark County Ohio, April 2009. She informed the courts and others "he is going to kill me."

According to the police chief “we need to see who else we need to interview and start working backward from the crime to see what his (Schneider’s) state of mind was and his motives.”  The shooter’s state of mind is clear as is the motive. The police chief might want to start with the court records from the divorce.

Also the weapons: how did a criminal gain access to firearms?

Then I suggest family and friends personally visit the prosecutors who might want to remove the cob webs from beneath their desk and investigate how a dangerous sexual predator and felon on house arrest threatening to kill his soon to be ex-wife had access to weapons? And why was he not placed on a monitoring device?

In 2008, he plead guilty on a sexual case involving a 15- year old girl and only received 12 days in jail, and was placed on three years probation and classified a Tier II sex offender, which required him to register his address with authorities every 180 days for 25 years. Where the heck was his probation officer on vacation?


When the prosecutor obtains those answers perhaps they can see precisely how the legal system failed Brandy Schneider and implement a protocol within the domestic relations courthouse so others can have a fighting opportunity to remain alive. Then the family should, in my opinion. hire an attorney as they probably have an excellent case for a wrongful death lawsuit.

Divorce is often connected to repeated threats, stalking, harassment and yes, murder. A victim of abuse whether it be a man or a woman faces obstacles in the courts when judge’s fail to take accusations of threats seriously. This case is a classic example.

My least favorite example is when the courts reward the abusive parent, by granting access to not only the children, but, the victim. An abuser could care less about the kids often using them as a point of negotiation to either torment their victim further or stop the divorce procedings all together and return as a family under the same roof. Once the abuser has lost control they will play whatever hand is dealt them in order to win at any and all costs.

This is no longer an isolated war . The more law enforcement and the legal system ignore issues of abuse within cases of divorce expect a higher number of murdered children, mothers and fathers to increase in the years ahead.

The Grace and Strength to Survive: Wednesday August 26, 2009 at 3:00 PM CST on The Susan Murphy Milano Show

Grace is difficult to achieve when a woman makes the painful decision to exit a violent marriage. The strength required to end the nightmare of abuse can break not only bones but, mind and spirit.

On The Susan Murphy Milano Show today is the author of the book "Graceful Reflections," Abigail Lurae.

Claudine Dombrowski from Mothers Without Custody and Lorraine Tipton who is also known as "Mama Liberty" and writes a popular blog for mothers in violent relationships seeking a "life raft."

DATE: August 26, 2009

TIME: 3:00 PM Central Standard Time

Live call in Number: 347-326-9337

Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

If you are unable to listen live, return to this site and the show will automatically play. Just remember to turn on and up the volume on your computer.

Plan "B"

Suzan Annette Sowders-Fuller stood on her ranch in Bakersfield, California, crossed her arms and shook her head in disbelief, on Monday August, 3, 2009 when her estranged husband bonded (for the second time) out of jail paying a measly $750 to be back out on the street only to continue terrorizing his wife and kids. As of Monday last week there were 8 police reports for breaking a court order of protection; slicing tires, breaking and entering; verbal threats of death over the phone; taking a container of diesel fuel and dousing the house. The kicker, on Wednesday August 5, 2009, Robert Fuller was visiting as scheduled by the courts with the couple's 2 daughter's ages 8 and 5.

Robert Dale Fuller was allowed to continue supervised visitation with his children. Why wasn't he behind bars? Where was the district attorney? Why wasn't he charged with several felonies?

Could it be that no one took Suzan's cries for help seriously because she was going through a divorce? We will never know.

On Saturday August 8, 2009 at 2:25 a.m. a frantic call was placed to the police by the 8 year-old child, "please she screamed, help us, help us, my mommy, my grandma have been shot, hurry, hurry someone please hurry."

In front of both children Robert Fuller shot to death Suzan and her mother Sharon Cannon.

A spokesperson from the Sheriff's Department told the local news reporter they responded to a "domestic dispute." What no one knew at the time and I learned this morning, was the system refused to do its' job on many levels in this case.

At the conclusion of the article it reads "Sheriff urged anyone experiencing domestic violence or abuse to seek professional help."

The system appears to serve as nothore more then a light post for your street address as they approach the crime scene, respondong only after someone has been murdered by their violent husband or boyfriend. It is obvious for anyone experiencing violence in a relationship, or going through a nasty divorce, plan "B" is a survival requirement or they may not survive to see a new sunrise.

Part 2 of this post is tomorrow.

Don't forget to mark your calendars for the Susan Murphy Milano show on Wednesday, August 12, 2009 at 3:00PM central time as we talk about this case with a family member and Claudia Dombrokski from Mothers Without Custody, including what women must arm themselves with to survive the abuse. The question of the day is: Are you interested in planning for a funeral or a new life?

Mass Destruction and Governor Arnold Schwarzeneggerer

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger took a pen and turned it into a deadly weapon this week when for he elimated 100 percent of California's budget for domestic violence services through out the entire state.

Many victims whom require important survival services such as shelter, legal, transitional housing, counseling, advocacy for their orders of protection and direction on how to leave with their lives from the 94 agencies in the state will be faced with two options. The first is they will take to the streets because the violence is life threatning in their home and they will become homeless. Currently, an estimated 50% of all victims of violence are either on the streets or seek assistance from orgnaizations such as the salvation army.

The second alternative in not an option, the women will be murdered in their own homes because a politican has erased an important component for victims to survive, basic services. And we must not forget the burden then to the legal system that will not be able to provide protection under the law as the victims will be unable to return to their homes once they press charges for the often near death violence in their own homes.

The passage of the existing law for victims of violence in this county were signed not with a pen of ink, but with a pen of blood for all those whose cries for help fell on deaf ears. Women like my mother who was murdered before laws were passed.

In removing these important dollars you provide another criminal perk for the offenders. The violent offender will use the removal of services to their advantage over the victims, knowing the individual has no place to seek assistance.

There is a reserve set aside by Governor Schwarzenegger of $500 million dollars. If he does not have a change of heart and reverse his decision then money should be set aside for the victims that will require proper burial services after they end up in a morgue because a former actor turned politican thinks the ending of women's lives is not important.

Legal System Receive's Failing Grade

Benito Casanova the biological father pictured below is sought in the abduction of three children; Oscar Casanova, 6; Karla Casanova, 7; and Fernando Casanova, 11.

Their mother, Sophia Garcia, was found dead in the 1700 block of North Harding Avenue about noon Monday with a plastic bag over her head. (Photo courtesy National Center for Missing & Exploited Children)

Benito Casanova-Wanted For Questioning

Police found Sophia Garcia dead in her apartment with a garbage bage tied over her face. She died from trauma to the head. No suprise, Sophia had an Order of Protection. As do a lot of these murder victims of late. All being slaughtered, for wanting out of their abusive relationships. You can go to court and seek a paper trail, but once you do, the victim must do everything in their power to move away as far as possible. Benito Casanova carefully thought and planned the crime. Including going over to the school on Friday like the "good parent" to pick up the children. He and the kids, no surpise, have not been seen since. Would A GPS tracking device have slowed the efforts of Benito and his plans? Yes. But he would have been a "good coward" until he met the obligations under the court order. Regardless, he would have followed through with his plans sooner or later. A lot of finger pointing will occur in the next couple of days as theDepartment of Human Services and the Children's school play the game of "we never received the call". The school was contacted when the two year order of protection was in place. But the school denies anyone ever contacted them. But, in fact the department of human services a city of Chicago agency made contact because they were providing services to the mother and kids. Must be a language barrier?

Benito also banked on the fact that Sophia had very little resouces to just pick up and go. She should have been directed to agencies such as Mujeres Latinas En Accion an agency in the community, dedicated to providing services to the Latino Community. They would have directed Sophia into a shelter. Assisted with legal services assisting in moving her far enough away, perhaps even out of the State and she would have been alive and I, would have no reason to write such a story.

Services for families in Illinois and across the country are being slashed in half. Agencies whose budgets are in crisis, holding in their palms, literally, thousands of women and children's lives, like placing a band aid on an infected area that never heals. Because the "system has tied" agencies hands.

What must happen is that everyone across the country, including those lovely politicians with whom we vote into office, sit at the table of reality. The mousetrap is broken. Now lets come to the table like grown-ups and fix it!

Link to the story-http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-amber-alert-webapr22,0,2876911.story

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