CUE Conference for Missing Persons: "In Support of A Journey"

CUE Center for Missing Persons National Conference Taps 3 ImaginePublicity Clients for Presentations

POSTED BY ADMINISTRATOR ⋅ 03/18/2012 ⋅ www.imaginepublicity.com

FILED UNDER  CUE CENTER FOR MISSING PERSONS, DIANE FANNING, DONNA R GORE, IN SUPPORT OF THE JOURNEY, MONICA CAISON, NATIONAL CONFERENCE, SUSAN MURPHY MILANO

For the past 8 years CUE Center for Missing Persons has sponsored a National Conference for the benefit of educating those who work with families of the missing, bringing awareness to the vast numbers of missing persons, and, most importantly, providing a place for families to meet and share together in one of the worst tragedies of life. Bringing it all together each year is an accomplishment by the founder of CUE Center, Monica Caison, and her wonderful Board Members and staff of tireless volunteers.

From CUE Center website: Join us for our upcoming national conference for missing persons and all who work in the arena from advocating, volunteerism, investigation, search and rescue and identification process of those who are lost. This event is open to all who support the mission of finding a resolution for families who have suffered a missing loved one and been left a victim of crime.

The National Conference, titled “In Support of the Journey,” will be held in Wilmington, NC March 22-25.

This year’s Conference, as all those in the past, will feature many speakers, presentations and classes for the attendees. ImaginePublicity is proud to have 3 clients who have been invited to present this year:

Susan Murphy Milano: Document the Abuse

Returning by popular demand from last year’s conference, Susan will be teaching a class on Document the Abuse utilizing the information from the website and the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit. Many missing persons cases are the result of intimate partner violence.

Diane Fanning: Through the Window; The view from a “Crime Writer”

Several of Fanning’s true crime books are cases which resulted in a missing person, the most well-known, Mommy’s Little Girl, which tells the story of Caylee Anthony from the point she was a missing little girl until her remains were found and her mother charged with murder.

Donna R. Gore, LadyJustice: Shattered Lives: The Aftermath of Crime”

Through her well researched blogs and her new radio show,Shattered Lives, LadyJustice reaches beyond the crime and into the aftermath where many surviving victims find a maze of confusion. Through her own experience as a survivor of homicide, she brings the audience information that’s needed.

There will be many other wonderful and well qualified presenters including:

Kelly Jolkowski: Awareness 101 (mother of missing Jason Jolkowski)

Robert Cooke: Awareness 101 (father of missing Rachel Cooke)

Patricia Totillo:The Road to Becoming a Search and Rescue Technician

Jenna Butler: Death Declaration & Power of Attorney and Missing Persons

Chuck Elgin: Sonar 2012, Improvements and Usage Deliveries

Michelle Guarino: Gangs, Forgotten Youth and the Missing

David Francis: Bringing Jon Home; A father’s journey of loss and discovery

Midori Elbert: Exploring Human Identification

NATIONAL CANDLE LIGHT SERVICE:“MISSING PERSONS AND THE MANY VICTIMS LEFT BEHIND”

The annual service is hosted by the CUE Center for Missing Persons  in honor of those once missing, now recovered. Families from across the country attend the water front ceremony seeking comfort, supporting the thousands who remain missing in “the unveiling of the wall”. Come and join those left behind for a beautiful tribute along Wilmington’s Cape Fear River front victim testimonies,  musical dedication and so much more. Candles will be provided. The service is a part of the weekend long national conference 2012.

Saturday March 24, 2012       Time: 7:30 pm     (The public is welcome)

Riverfront Park, Downtown Wilmington Waterfront 

For complete details on presenters, and all the activities planned, please visit the website: http://ncmissingpersons.org

Getting Through the Holiday's Without Your Loved One

I will begin by admitting this is my least favorite time of year. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that while alive my mother went overboard during the holidays. She would spend weeks thinking and planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Our final holiday together was Christmas, 1988.

Since that time I have immersed myself in keeping those alive whose lives are often in jeopardy as a result of intimate partner violence and stalking. In many ways I have placed my life in the unimportant category so others, strangers really, most of whom I have never met in person, can leave with their life. The ones who are not able to reach me in time or "suddenly" go missing I write about or obtain coverage in the media while working with their families and various agencies in hopes of seeking justice. Knowing and understanding there will never be acceptance or closure while they remain on earth minus their world, the loved one who is never coming back.

With age comes wisdom. But with wisdom you also have memories often returning at times one least expects, the holidays. Missing that special person who is, or has not sat at a table with you since they were alive can be devastating and downright unbearable. Punishing yourself for something you had no control over, is in my opinion, a crime in and of itself.

We are meant to love others living our lives as best we can. Life is too short. In a blink of an eye one turns around and asks, when it is too late, where did the time go?

This year, instead of receiving letters or emails from families grieving, I would like to make a request. Send me your words of joy. Tell me what you did this year differently to honor your loved one. I will, if you do, post your words and pictures.

Coping with Holidays

It is not wrong for you to feel angry, sad, or overwhelmed by impending holidays. Because you are not able to control these changes, you are bound to have feelings that conflict with what you used to feel during holidays. If others around you are not feeling the same, you may feel further alienated. What once made you happy and joyous may now make you feel sad and angry.

Ten Thoughts on Coping

It is always difficult to live through holidays in the aftermath of intense tragedy. For victims and survivors, holidays are often marked with pain and anguished memories. What, in the past, may have been a time for family gatherings and celebration will be a time for missing loved ones and a sense of loss.

HOLIDAY SOLUTIONS - STEPPING STONES

Plan ahead. Have a backup plan. Embrace the feelings - both good and bad Realize it doesn't have to be the best holiday ever - just get through it! Find something different to do. Go to a buffet instead of fixing the big meal. Leave town. Take the pressure off of yourself - don't fake it. Have reasonable expectations of yourself and others. Add something to your tradition that honors your loved one - light a candle create whatever holiday atmosphere you want and feel comfortable in your decisions.

Surviving That First Holiday Season After a Loss

For people who have lost a loved one, through death, divorce, or even relocation, big holidays throughout the following year often prove painful and difficult. Rituals that brought joy in years past serve instead as stark reminders of missing loved ones."Holidays can reawaken the grieving process," says Marianne Wamboldt, MD, Director of the Center for Stress and Anxiety Disorders at National Jewish Medical and Research Center. "It can be extremely painful. But there are ways to cope, things you can do to get through the holidays and even to find comfort.

"Coping with Holiday Grief

At holiday time, many people are dealing with loss and are often caught in a dilemma between the need to grieve and the pressure to get into the spirit of the season. Holidays or not, it is important for the bereaved to find ways to take care of themselves. The following guidelines may be helpful:

Suggestions for filling your holiday loss and tears with celebration

Express yourself through artwork.

Begin your holiday dinner with a minute of silent prayer and a toast in their honor. Send up a balloon(s) with messages and prayers to your loved one.

During the meal ask the question, "What comes to your mind when you think of (this person)_________?", and share memories with those who surround you.

Plant a tree or a special plant in their honor in your garden or in your home.

Create special Christmas ornaments for your tree and hang a stocking in their honor.

Write a letter or even keep a journal of your thoughts.

Light a candle(s) in their memory.

Place a single flower or bouquet of flowers that your loved one cherished as the centerpiece.

The "Shames" or head candle in the Hanukah celebration can be in honor of your loved one.

Look at pictures (or display pictures) from past holidays shared with your loved one.

View videos, audiotapes and any remembrances, which reflect on the wonderful times you experienced together.

Design a quilt with the memories you have.

Write a brief history of the ups and downs you have experienced in the past year and place it into a Christmas stocking or some memorable cache that you can add to yearly.

Play a favorite song.

Create a sacred alter with photos and treasures where you can sit and reflect.

If you vacation in a special area that you used to go to with your loved one, do something special in honor of them.

Consider volunteering for an organization affiliated with your loved one's illness, hospice or a caregiving program to help others through your own experiences.

Volunteer to help feed the homeless over Thanksgiving & Christmas.

Volunteer to read or spend time with the elderly in nursing homes, hospitals or to read and spend time with children who have terminal illnesses in hospitals.

Donate gifts in your loved one's name. This is even more special when you donate in memory at their birthday, a special anniversary, etc. Offer a scholarship in a loved one's name.

Remembering at the Holidays

The principle that we should keep in mind is: they may not be here any more, but they are still here.

For those with loved ones still missing, not knowing can in pure hell. OF ALL the agonies that an outrage creates, the worst is not having them found and brought home to rest. It is almost beyond that of loss and grows in the silence of an unanswered telephone.

You can email me at murphymilano@gmail.com or write me at P.O. Box 14946, Surfside Beach, SC 29587

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

The Roth Show: Wednesday - 7:00PM Eastern Time

The "Annie Oakley of the Airwaves" and
the "Jane Wayne of Justice"

combine forces on:


The Roth Show!

Joining the show is Monica Caison of CUE Center for Missing Persons, along with Marcia Williams to discuss her missing son, Terrance Williams. Could his disappearance be connected to another's, Felipe Santos? Is it a coincidence that the last person to see both men was a police officer?



Terrance Williams

for more information:
http://www.ncmissingpersons.org/index.php?s=santos





http://therothshow.com

The Roth Show is a nationally syndicated talk show hosted by Dr. Laurie Roth, Ph.D., and stands on principles and leading the charge for the legions of Americans who are saying “Enough Already!”

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs.http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. She is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

"Time's Up Network" Presents A Special Hour of Radio: Hosts Susan Murphy Milano and Jillian Maas-Backman May 3rd at 8:00 PM CST/ 9:00 PM EASTERN

Many of you suffer from sorrow associated with traumatic unsolved murderous crimes and are desperate for resolution. This hour is dedicated to those of you that are ready to explore alternative, non-conventional ways of solving your personal mystery. You can become your own intuitive investigator with help from the other side. There are endless reports from those close to victims left behind of un-explained visits from their deceased loved ones through dreams, holograms or even messages. Why are they appearing back in your life and what are they attempting to share?

A riveting special hour presented by The Time's Up Network and hosted by Time’s Up Blog contributing authors, Susan Murphy Milano, Violent Expert, Strategist-Author, Consultant and Jillian Maas Backman, Intuitive Life Coach, Consultant- Radio Host on station Lake 96.1 will team up to share personal encounters (Susan’s murdered mother), analyze the authenticity of tapping into this natural resource, “how- tos” on pushing past heart break and harness one of the most powerful tools available to everyone.

To call in the show and ask a question or make a comment the number is

1-347-326-9337

Wednesday, May 3, 2010
TIME: 9: 00 PM Eastern Time / 8:00 PM Central
Show Link: www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

To be considered as a guest on a future show or if you have a subject matter or idea you would like on a topic of interest please email us at murphymilano@gmail.com

Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS

A Letter To Sean

On November 28th, 2009, Karen Kahler and her daughters Emily and Lauren were shot to death by Karen's estranged husband while they were visiting her grandmother, Dorothy, for the Thanksgiving holiday. Dorothy was also shot and died a few days later.

Sean, a 10-year old son, escaped while bullets were being fired upon his family by his father inside the house, running for his life and surviving this horrific tragedy, phyically unharmed.

[As a violence expert and veteran to surviving family homicide, I was moved to write this young man a letter. Although I am using Sean's name it could have been Craig, Jennifer, Alice, Tom, Christopher, Bobby, Kathy, Lisa, Andrew, Laci, Conner, Cheryl with a list that goes on and on of children left to find their place in this world without those whom they love and, more importantly without answers.]

Dear Sean:

This is your first holiday without your sisters, grand grandmother and mother. The events that lead up to their deaths will for a very long time play out over and over in your mind as if you are watching a scary movie. You will have terrible nightmares, cold sweats, and be woken by a soft tender voice comforting you, suggesting "you to go back to sleep, it's okay. It was only a dream." But, you find going back to sleep difficult. Instead you may cry or get angry. And that is okay.

While you are awake, during the day, something will remind you of the tragedy. A dog barking outside, a silly commericial on television or simply the closing of a bedroom door. It doesn't take much really to remind you of what happend. And in the months to follow you will probably wonder when will you stop feeling so horrible. When will the pain go away? Some days will be better than others. And sometimes the pain you feel will be with you as if it were your worst enemy. You can't tell it to go away. You are not able to run from it. It will be your companion for many months.


After Christmas and New Year's it will be time for you to go back to school. At first you will have the feeling of your body being in a kind of thick fog. And your feet will not feel as if they are touching the ground as you walk. I suggest a relative sew in marbles or a few coins in the cuff's of your pants. This will help you feel like you are weighted down in some way. At the start of your first day back you might notice mom's driving or walking their kids to school. This will make you miss your mom all the more. You might be overwhelmed by this and ask the person who took you to school to bring you back to the house. You are not ready yet. This is a normal feeling.

Once you start feeling a little better and return to school try and get involved in a sport that you enjoy. Try to make friends with other kids in your class. And if you are invited to do something after school over on the weekend, accept the invitation only when you feel ready. Sometimes adults make us feel like we have to try or do something we do not feel ready or comfortable doing. Use your best judgement in each situation.


Maybe start your own private journal. Include the times you shared together with your Mom. The trips you took or how she made a special meal you enjoyed. On holidays make your mom a special card and place it in the journal. When your mom's birthday approaches do something special that she might have enjoyed sharing with you. If she had a favorite saying remember to write it down so you will always remember her words. Keep special photo's in the journal or on a disk. If your mom's voice is on her cell phone or the house phone on a recording ask a relative to make a few copies for you so you can hear her voice when you are feeling sad.

The most important piece of advice I can offer you is that you are stronger than you may believe. When you have bad days remember that your mother, although she is in heaven, lives in your heart. And even though you are not able to see or touch her in human form, she walks beside you proudly, from the moment you awake, until the time you rest your head at night.

The love of your Mom will remain with you, Sean, every single precious moment as you grow and build your own life, finish school and someday have a family of your own.

Coping With The Holidays Without Your Loved One

Coping with Holidays

It is not wrong for you to feel angry, sad, or overwhelmed by impending holidays. Because you are not able to control these changes, you are bound to have feelings that conflict with what you used to feel during holidays. If others around you are not feeling the same, you may feel further alienated. What used to make you happy and joyous may now make you feel sad and angry.

Ten Thoughts on Coping

It is always difficult to live through holidays in the aftermath of intense tragedy. For victims and survivors, holidays are often marked with pain and anguished memories. What, in the past, may have been a time for family gatherings and celebration will be a time for missing loved ones and a sense of loss.

HOLIDAY SOLUTIONS - STEPPING STONES

Plan aheadHave a backup planEmbrace the feelings - both good and badRealize it doesn't have to be the best holiday ever - just get through it!Find something different to doGo to a buffet instead of fixing the big mealLeave townTake the pressure off of yourself - don't fake itHave reasonable expectations of yourself and othersAdd something to your tradition that honors your loved one - light a candle create whatever holiday you want feel comfortable in doing.

Surviving That First Holiday Season After a LossFor people who have lost a loved one, through death, divorce, or even relocation, big holidays throughout the following year often prove painful and difficult. Rituals that brought joy in years past serve instead as stark reminders of missing loved ones."Holidays can reawaken the grieving process," says Marianne Wamboldt, MD, Director of the Center for Stress and Anxiety Disorders at National Jewish Medical and Research Center. "It can be extremely painful. But there are ways to cope, things you can do to get through the holidays and even to find comfort.

"Coping with Holiday GriefAt holiday time, many people are dealing with loss and are often caught in a dilemma between the need to grieve and the pressure to get into the spirit of the season. Holidays or not, it is important for the bereaved to find ways to take care of themselves. The following guidelines may be helpful:Suggestions for filling your holiday loss and tears with celebratio...Express yourself through artwork.Begin your holiday dinner with a minute of silent prayer and a toast in their honorSend up a balloon(s) with messages and prayers to your loved one.During the meal ask the question, "What comes to your mind when you think of (this person)_________?", and share memories with those who surround you. Plant a tree or a special plant in their honor in your garden or in your home.Create special Christmas ornaments for your tree and hang a stocking in their honor.Write a letter or even keep a journal of your thoughts.Light a candle(s) in their memory.Place a single flower or bouquet of flowers that your loved one cherished as the centerpiece.The "Shames" or head candle in the Hanukah celebration can be in honor of your loved oneLook at pictures (or display pictures) from past holidays shared with your loved one. View videos, audiotapes and any remembrances, which reflect on the wonderful times you experienced together.

Design a quilt with the memories you haveWrite a brief history of the ups and downs you have experienced in the past year and place it into a Christmas stocking or some memorable cache that you can add to yearly.Play a favorite songCreate a sacred alter with photos and treasures where you can sit and reflect.If you vacation in a special area that you used to go to with your loved one, do something special in honor of them.Consider volunteering for an organization affiliated with your loved one;s illness, hospice or a caregiving program to help others through your own experiences.Vounteer to help feed the homeless over Thanksgiving & Christmas.Volunteer to read or spend time with the elderly in nursing homes, hospitals or to read and spend time with children who have terminal illnesses in hospitals.Donate gifts in your loved one's name. This is even more special when you donate in memory at their birthday, a special anniversary, etc.Offer a scholarship in a loved one's name.

Remembering at the Holidays

The principle that we should keep in mind is: they may not be here any more, but they are still here.For those with loved ones still missing, not knowing can be the wor...OF ALL the agonies that an outrage creates, the worst is not knowing. It is almost beyond that of loss and grows in the silence of an unanswered telephone.Our hope is that this information is helpful to you as you approach...

Source : Please consider joining Peace4 the Missing

This is an importantMissing Persons Awareness and Support Networkhttp://peace4missing.ning.com/