Christmas on the Road "Merry Christmas"

This tree is 135 feet tall.  Taken at old town square Plaza Don Luis in Albuquerque, New Mexico

The one great thing about working cases of missing persons and unsolved homicides is that I never know where my travels take me. Everyday is a new adventure.

Good or bad, I now believe that everything in our lives happens for a reason.  I have been fortunate these past couple of years in truly witnessing miracles either of important life events or individuals, causing me to embrace and not question.  So many amazing people, literally crossing my path. Some for reasons I did not explain and for their own sake releasing them as if I was holding the string on a balloon up into the sky.  It is they whom I miss and love the most.

Family is so important and I always find myself in envy of all whom can share and connect during this special time of year. Whatever you do, remember to always hold them close.


May God bless all of us and keep us safe!


Merry Christmas!


Susan


From Albuquerque, NM More Photo's this morning taken at Sunrise:

"Cope With Hope" Getting Through the Holidays: Special Radio Series With Susan Murphy Milano

"Cope With Hope" Getting Through the Holidays: Special Radio Series With Susan Murphy Milano

How often do we wake up in December and wish we could pull the covers back over our heads and skip right over the holiday season?

For whatever the reasons, many of us have a difficult time getting into the spirit of joy, and the holidays seem to make it worse.

During the hiatus of Susan's show on Here Women Talk, from December 20 to December 30, she will be doing a one hour show each morning (Mon-Thurs) at 10am ET on BlogTalk Radio, to give those who need a boost for the day, something to help you through it, even if only a brief hour.

See the schedule below for the lineup of wonderful guests!   To listen LIVE CLICK HERE !   To call in with questions or comments:  347.326.9337

Day/Date Scheduled	Guests
Monday 12/20	Anne Peterson Donna Tyson	Inspirational Writer Radio Host: Rivers of Faith
Tuesday 12/21	Gaetane Borders Sara Huizenga	President, Peas In Their Pods Founder, Peace4 the Missing
Wednesday 12/22	Neil Schori	Pastor, Naperville Christian Church
Thursday 12/23	Gayle Crabtree Cherry Simpson	Founder, Hope For Healing.Org Victims Advocate and Activist, Nana
Monday 12/27	Sandra L. Brown, M.A.	CEO The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction
Tuesday 12/28	Jillian Maas Backman	Intuitive Life Coach, Author, Radio Host
Wednesday 12/29	Vicki Childs Anny Jacoby	Private Investigator Personal Safety Coach
Thursday 12/30	Janet Hosmer, Phd Pamela Chapman	Certified Health Coach Founder, iAscend Programs, Life Coach

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/  She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.  

Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth  http://www.therothshow.com/ 

Safe Relationships Magazine

Keep the Turkey on the Table

by Susan Murphy-Milano (www.safereltionshipsmagazine.com)

It is the Christmas holidays and you were sure that your relationship would last until the end of time, but it did not sustain. However, those emotions still tied to the person remain, and you are teetering after that warm and fuzzy holiday text message or phone call you just received. You have all but wiped away the memory of the last time you were together. Perhaps you were blamed or hurt by a circumstance or a situation that you were made to feel was your fault. Finally, you had enough and began moving forward with your life. You worked hard to untie those emotional strings and the memories you once shared.

Holiday or nor not, how many more times are you going to allow a person with whom you were in a relationship to make excuses for their outbursts? Either through yelling at you because the boss got on their back, or there is not enough money through the end of the month to buy groceries and somehow your partner is blaming you? The house is in shambles, the kids have been up all night with the flu and you are whacked across the face by your “loving partner” because things are not the way ” THEY” expect them. Your partner informs you, similar to placing you on notice, that you have had this conversation before.

On the phone that warm and fuzzy feeling returns as he speaks to you so tenderly and warm. Your knees buckle a bit as the familiar scent of a toxic tune plays in their voice. He reminds you of all the other holidays you shared and the importance of family, knowing what will pull you back into him with his toxic sweet talk. He says “can’t we try again for the sake of what we had or the kids?” And then he adds a pinch of “baby it’s the holidays,” and your response should be yes it is, “happy holidays to you” thank you for calling.

The Christmas turkey you prepare should be the only one in attendance this year at your holiday table, and not sitting in the chair next to you.

Remember don’t invite the pathological live turkey to show up at your door for the holidays.

The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction provides survivor services, products and research on issues related to dangerous and pathological love relationships. For more information click HERE.

[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.

Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth http://www.therothshow.com/ ]

Merry Christmas

I wish you and your family a joyous and safe holiday.

Celebrating the Holidays Without Controversy

According to Dr. Paul Irwin " as we read stories of controversy regarding displays of Nativity scenes and Christmas trees such as the controversy through the years over the airing of the trailer for "Nativity" at the Christkindlmarket in Chicago. As one who has studied the Bible for many years, I find this debate troubling. The American Bible Society believes that we must celebrate the rights of Americans to hold diverse opinions and not to stifle them."

Over the course of a year, we each celebrate historical observations, only some of which have any real religious associations. Some visit renaissance fairs, and others participate in highland games, while a few suit up and reenact Civil War battles. Why, then, are Nativity scenes regarded as objectionable? Why is the appearance of a menorah deemed inappropriate?

Nativity scenes depict Jesus' birth as described in the Bible. The Bible is rife with messages and stories of tolerance, which even most avowed atheists concede to be the case.

Regardless of affiliation or spiritual beliefs, the Bible is among our most treasured historical texts. To that end, the birth of Jesus Christ is a significant historical event. American values and biblical beliefs are closely aligned and not something that is foreign to our culture. We have to welcome the diversity of views that different faith traditions bring to America.

I believe that it is always better for us to listen, talk and reason rather than use inflammatory rhetoric in instances where overt displays of religious significance become a public issue. If it means thinking through the value of such displays and taking the time to be reasonable about inclusion rather than exclusion, then let us reason together.

In addition to making a Nativity Scene – which provides hope and inspiration to millions of people – a political "hot potato," we have become afraid to wish people Merry Christmas, replacing it instead with the generic and politically-correct "Happy Holidays."

Christmas commemorates the birth of Jesus. Hanukkah celebrates the rededication of the Jerusalem Temple by a Festival of Lights.

While some people do not celebrate Christmas, it is wrong to think that collectively Americans have found it offensive to wish people a Merry Christmas. I firmly believe that "Merry Christmas" should be seen for what it is: A wish for happiness on the anniversary of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. And it's a pleasant way to greet someone in December, too.

A Letter To Sean

On November 28th, 2009, Karen Kahler and her daughters Emily and Lauren were shot to death by Karen's estranged husband while they were visiting her grandmother, Dorothy, for the Thanksgiving holiday. Dorothy was also shot and died a few days later.

Sean, a 10-year old son, escaped while bullets were being fired upon his family by his father inside the house, running for his life and surviving this horrific tragedy, phyically unharmed.

[As a violence expert and veteran to surviving family homicide, I was moved to write this young man a letter. Although I am using Sean's name it could have been Craig, Jennifer, Alice, Tom, Christopher, Bobby, Kathy, Lisa, Andrew, Laci, Conner, Cheryl with a list that goes on and on of children left to find their place in this world without those whom they love and, more importantly without answers.]

Dear Sean:

This is your first holiday without your sisters, grand grandmother and mother. The events that lead up to their deaths will for a very long time play out over and over in your mind as if you are watching a scary movie. You will have terrible nightmares, cold sweats, and be woken by a soft tender voice comforting you, suggesting "you to go back to sleep, it's okay. It was only a dream." But, you find going back to sleep difficult. Instead you may cry or get angry. And that is okay.

While you are awake, during the day, something will remind you of the tragedy. A dog barking outside, a silly commericial on television or simply the closing of a bedroom door. It doesn't take much really to remind you of what happend. And in the months to follow you will probably wonder when will you stop feeling so horrible. When will the pain go away? Some days will be better than others. And sometimes the pain you feel will be with you as if it were your worst enemy. You can't tell it to go away. You are not able to run from it. It will be your companion for many months.


After Christmas and New Year's it will be time for you to go back to school. At first you will have the feeling of your body being in a kind of thick fog. And your feet will not feel as if they are touching the ground as you walk. I suggest a relative sew in marbles or a few coins in the cuff's of your pants. This will help you feel like you are weighted down in some way. At the start of your first day back you might notice mom's driving or walking their kids to school. This will make you miss your mom all the more. You might be overwhelmed by this and ask the person who took you to school to bring you back to the house. You are not ready yet. This is a normal feeling.

Once you start feeling a little better and return to school try and get involved in a sport that you enjoy. Try to make friends with other kids in your class. And if you are invited to do something after school over on the weekend, accept the invitation only when you feel ready. Sometimes adults make us feel like we have to try or do something we do not feel ready or comfortable doing. Use your best judgement in each situation.


Maybe start your own private journal. Include the times you shared together with your Mom. The trips you took or how she made a special meal you enjoyed. On holidays make your mom a special card and place it in the journal. When your mom's birthday approaches do something special that she might have enjoyed sharing with you. If she had a favorite saying remember to write it down so you will always remember her words. Keep special photo's in the journal or on a disk. If your mom's voice is on her cell phone or the house phone on a recording ask a relative to make a few copies for you so you can hear her voice when you are feeling sad.

The most important piece of advice I can offer you is that you are stronger than you may believe. When you have bad days remember that your mother, although she is in heaven, lives in your heart. And even though you are not able to see or touch her in human form, she walks beside you proudly, from the moment you awake, until the time you rest your head at night.

The love of your Mom will remain with you, Sean, every single precious moment as you grow and build your own life, finish school and someday have a family of your own.