"Killing me in the Courtroom" on The Susan Murphy Milano Show

When a woman makes the painful decision to exit a violent marriage and does not have the opportunity to plan a course of action the outcome can be devastating. The strength required to end the nightmare of abuse can break not only bones but, mind and spirit. And for many in violent relationships like Stacy Peterson, Susan Powell, Renee Pernice, Rachel Conger, Lisa Stebic and others once they announced the decision to leave they were never heard or seen from, again.

On The Susan Murphy Milano Show today is Claudine Dombrowski a noted expert on Mothers Without Custody and Katie Parks a mother from Ohio currently in divorce court and in my opinion, with a manipulative and abusive estranged husband.

DATE: January 13, 2010

TIME: 3:00 PM Central Standard Time

Live call in Number: 347-326-9337

Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

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To email us with comments or questions, to be considered as a guest on a future show we can be reached at [email address] murphymilano@gmail.com

"Battlefield"

Wednesday around 4:00 pm, Teresann Moore was kidnapped and taken to by her estranged husband to his apartment. Neighbors heard screams and called 911. Within minutes the streets were lined with responding officers. Upon arrival officers heard shots fired from the apartment complex.

Then her estranged husband opened fire from his balcony while screaming he would kill any officer who came closer. An officer was shot in the hand by the 38 year-old Randall Moore.

Luckily, the couple's 8 month-old baby boy was at day-care. Police stormed the apartment and found Teresann dead and took Moore into custody.

Theresann was an Air Guard veteran and she had completed three missions in Iraq. She was a member of the 132nd Fighter Wind based out of Des Moines. All her training sadly could not and did not prevent her death.

Often people married to violent offenders are not prepared to deal with continued random acts of violence once the relationship ends. In this case, and I am only guessing, this woman obviously felt that once she was divorced he would leave her alone.

Similar to a ticking bomb, a person leaving, from the moment they say the words "the relationship or marriage is over" to the time they walk out the door, a victim must be on their guard around the clock. Because as I have said before, ending a relationship is the most dangerous time and a plan for all around safety must be implemented immediately, otherwise as we see in this tragedy, it will cost your life!

Prayers to the family and friends and for the wounded police officer.

Family Court and the Judicial Murder of Children's Lives

Yesterday, on the Susan Murphy Milano Show we highlighted mothers who have lost custody of their children because the court system in this country is ill equipped to properly deal with family issues involving the safe placement for custody of minor children.

Mental health experts prescribed in court by a judge on a “short list” mandated to determine the fitness of a parent and the well being of the children. What is often not determined is the safety of the child, especially when there are serious issues including sexual abuse, as we heard from Taylor’s mother a case in Virginia that wreaks of cover-up all in the name of winning a sick game called “Maternal Deprivation Abuse”. Imagine a legal system who determines financial matters and legal property disbursements using the same method on human lives under the age of 18 with total disregard for the safety and mental wellness of a child. A legal system taking on the burden of proof and yet throws it in the waste basket under their judicial bench. Sadly, with no regard for human lives and more importantly children unable to defend themselves from two evils the courts and their abuser parent as discussed in Lundy Bancroft latest book.

The switchboard was inundated with calls from across the country from mothers asking for solutions on behalf of the silenced, their own children. After the show the email box filled up quickly because we were unable to get to all the callers woith questions.

One particular note we received on face book happens to be in my neck of the woods in Will County, Illinois. The same county where the trial for Christopher Vaughn is yet to begin for the brutal slayings of Kimberly Ellen Vaughn, 34, and her three children, Abigayle Elizabeth Vaughn, 12; Cassandra Ellen Vaughn, 11; and Blake Philip Vaughn, 8; all of Oswego, were found in June of 2007, shot to death in an SUV in far Illinois southwest. "Neighbors and friends said they were a nice family and a quiet couple."

This of course it is also the same county Drew Peterson was finally arrested for the murder of Kathleen Savio and remains a suspect in the vanishing act of Stacy Peterson. And let us not forget that Lisa Stebic also from Will County going through a divorce has vanished and no one has been arrested. All of these women and in other cases across the country murdered because their abuser’s were not willing to split assets financially, pay child support or allow their wives to move on with their lives. These women fought and lost with their lives all in the name of a system that is like the storybook character humpty dumpty. It cannot be put back together again because it is broken.

The note said: "I know you are an advocate and maybe you can help - Right now in Will County Courthouse there is mother actually fighting for custody of her two little girls that have undergone sexual abuse. She has DNA evidence - Will County Sheriff's police refuse to send evidence over to the DA and she is being given run around. The DCFS case worker is friend of ex-husband's family and refuses to believe that there is anything going on - Basically they want her to recant and submit herself to intensive therapy which is unwarranted... based on her career, lifestyle and children's success from a previous marriage. The action is occurring in Room 300 in the Will County Courthouse- Many wonder how The Connelly children wound up dead... anyone watching in that courtroom can see how awful our family courts can be…."

On Wednesday, July 8, 2009 at 3:00 PM Central Time on The Susan Murphy Milano show will continue the discussion on Mothers losing Custody. Returning to the show are Co-Founder of Protective Mothers Alliance and the case of Taylor and her mother’s fight to regain custody of her daughter lost to a system that denies a mother her rights.

If you would like to email your questions before the show we will try to answer them on-air. The address is kindlivingpress01@gmail.com. Please include the state and city where you live as different laws apply.

We will be taking your calls live at 347-326-9337- Mark computer calendar for 7/8/2009-LIVE!

To listen to the show Mother's Without Custody"turn on the volume on your computer and it will automatically play.

Alcohol and Protecting Those We Love

When alcohol affects your relationship, marriage and family, over time, very slowly, it begins to destroy everything around you. Yes, it is a disease. But, those who live with the disease are also affected by the sickness.

Continuing to believe broken promises, crying, threatening to leave if they don't stop drinking. Now your in a constant depression, filled with anxiety and guilt. Is that what you want out of life?

How? The word enable comes to mind. When you cover up for someone's behavior like calling the boss and making excuses when they can't make it out of bed and into the office. Or when they make a promise to your child to do something together and the next day have no memory of what was planned. So your left with telling your child something that isn't true because they won't understand.

Maybe you are constantly apologizing to others for their outbursts or inappropriate behaviors. Or, if you have a business and decisions are being made that have or will have an adverse affect on your finances.You worked long and hard to build a business, together. And somehow you believe , as you have always done in the past can fix things and make them better. More likely then not, they are a wonderful person, you know they love you so much, with every fiber of their being, they are your entire world, you can't live without them, your literally joined at the hip. Until you start to pay attention to little things in the beginning like passing out while eating dinner and you had to help them into bed. Or maybe they have been getting behind the wheel of a car and driving home when they were near or close enough to not be driving, period. You excuse the behavior, say nothing, fix them something to eat and off to be they go until the next morning when you act as though everything is fine. Because you are also in denial.

This begins a pattern, a habit, now out of control. The drinking has become so common that you continue to enable and go with the flow of the daily routine. This person who you love with all you heart, may be to the point where their system has no down time from the alcohol. The bottom line. they are in a constant state of having alcohol in their system, around the clock twenty-four hours a day. Their disease is now affecting you and your health, not to mention your marriage. What do you do? Do you remain silent? Talk to a friend or family member? Talk to the person with the problem and insist they go get help or you will leave?

The responsibility of a person who chooses to drink belongs to that individual. Be it a man or a woman. They own it! They live it, they breathe it, they even bathe in it. And with all their might, in a very subtle, manipulative way that make you own their disease and take responsibility for their drinking and actions. You need a plan. I have provided a link that I believe will assist you. Please take a moment and visit the site: http://www.al-anon.org/

Where, Oh Where Is Rosa Lisowski?

On Monday, March 24, 2008, Rosa Lisowski walked her six -year old child to school. It was like any other morning, with one exception, she has vanished.

I should also mention that she and her estranged husband are going through a very bitter divorce and custody battle.

Yet, another woman, mother of small children has vanished from the planet without a trace.

No surprise Rosa's husband is "a person of interest". The kids have been placed in protective custody, which in my opinion is a good move by those investigating the case.

We have entered a new"copy cat crime category" a deadly pattern of events in recent months with women who are seeking or have started divorce proceeding's, and magically are never heard or seen from again .

As an example, Theresa Parker, Lisa Stebic, Stacy Peterson, all fit the same profile. Included are other's who broke off relationships and wound up dead. And in each vanishing act or murder, family members and friends confirm, each of the women , were all "afraid of the person".

Previous Stories:
March 28, 2008: Missing Mom's Kids Put In Protective Custody
March 27, 2008: Vigil Planned For Missing Mom
March 26, 2008: Police Question Missing Woman's Sons, Husband
March 26, 2008: Family Says Missing Mother Feared For Her Life

http://www.jurorthirteen.com/ will continue to keep updates on this case, so please consider visitng their site.

http://www.movingoutmovingon.com/ resources to safety and a way to contact us as it relates to a missing or murdered family member.