Surviving in War

Trained in One Battle, Losing Another : PFC Ashley Cecelia Barnes

By Susan Murphy Milano

Private First Class Ashley Cecelia Barnes, 18, was a soldier in the United States Army. She entered the Army in September 2008 and deployed to Afghanistan in December 2008. Ashley was an automated logistical specialist assigned to the 7th Squadron, 17th Cavalry Regiment, 159th Aviation Brigade, 101st Airborne Division.

Prior to becoming a soldier, she got married. She finished boot camp and returned home for a brief leave before being deployed. Things were not going well for the new bride and her abusive groom.

Only a short time after Ashley married him, she realized he was violent and dangerous. On November 30, 2008, according to a police reports, the groom Khaleffa Lambert punched and choked her unconscious, and Ashley just knew that "he was not what she wanted in her life." She aspired to have a career in the military minus being a victim of criminal intimate partner violence.

During her tour of duty the new husband and she continued to do battle with finances and words; she decided to get a divorce. Ashley made arrangements to leave her unit, return to the States, obtain a lawyer, file for divorce and then go back to Afghanistan.

On March 7, 2009, the husband stalked Ashley, kidnapping her from a Tennessee Microtel Inn hotel room where she had been staying. He stabbed her numerous times then put her in his SUV and drove off. He was arrested by State Police on the highway because of how he was driving. Police saw Ashley's body in the back seat, and made an arrest. The husband admitted the crime to the officer.

Now, the husband is awaiting trial for the murder of PFC Ashely Cecelia Barnes. He is represented by a defense attorney who filed a motion in court this week to have the history of domestic excluded in the upcoming murder trial. This is ridiculous! The pattern of conduct in this case is very basic in terms of the actual events leading up to her murder. The couple's documented history is a factor. I also question why I did not see any charges regarding felony stalking.

He is caught and arrested with the body. The Prosecutor offers him a deal and he refuses. His defense attorney is arguing the State boxed his client into a corner. I expect my defense attorney friends will be contacting me for this remark. I realize I am not a lawyer, but how cut and dry is this case where they have to remove important facts that resulted in this woman's murder? By the way, do not forget, he murdered a United States Soldier, wife or not.

Even with the evidence and the facts, justice seems to being short changed as it pertains to the life of Ashley Cecelia Barnes. And costing unnecessary tax payer dollars over a case of premeditated murder. Yes, everyone has a right to a trial by jury, but where are Ashley's rights, who has been silenced in the prime of her life? She has no one speaking up for her.

All of Ashley's military training did nothing to prepare her for her own war with a man who was hell bent on killing her. Why? Because she was ending the violence in a peaceful way, and in these relationships of intimate partner violence, without proper training, the victims never win.

A lot could have changed for Ashley if she had completed the "boot camp" instructions in the book "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS."

The "boot camp" if you will, is for anyone going through a divorce or violent, stalking type of relationship break-up. It is also for attorney's practicing family law. Immediately, before filing for divorce in court, lawyers have the individual complete the paperwork (similar to a last will and testament), the law office witnesses and notarizes the documents, and copies are made. Then the individual reads what was just prepared in the law office before a video camera. Afterwards, the individual follows the rest of the "boot camp manual training" so they are able to stay alive.

In this case, the importance in Ashley completing just the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit in this section of the manual would have preserved the facts as to the violence and her fear of being killed. I say this because, in my opinion, had she completed the Time's Up manual, her chances of survival would have been greater. Then the lawyer who filed her divorce would have turned over evidence in Ashley's own words and the prosecutor's case would already be over. So far, those who have followed the "Time's Up" "boot camp manual" are still alive.

There is a reason soldiers go into battle properly trained to fight the enemy and stay alive. Ashely Cecelia Barnes was well prepared when she went to fight for our country. Shouldn't the same training have applied to her war in the battle of intimate partner homicide?

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

Crime Wire: Special Sunday Night Broadcast- February 27, 2011- 9PM Eastern Time

Crime Wire

Sunday Night Special Broadcast
February 27
9-10pm ET



Debut of the Crime Wire Investigative Bureau
on

BlogTalk Radio
LISTEN LIVE!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/crimewire/2011/02/28/the-debut-of-crime-wire-investigation-bureau

Announcing the creation of the new "CWIB" for families of the missing, unsolved, suspicious deaths, intimate partner homicide and cold cases.

This new initiative with Bureau Chief Tom Shamshak, will involve establishing and utilizing an investigative network of private and forensic investigators, and legal experts. These investigative consultants will conduct the research and make the inquiries necessary to develop sufficient information for the authorities to move these cold, stalled or never investigated cases, forward.

Services will be discussed and new team members introduced, and our criteria in solvability factors on all cases we highlight.

Join Bureau Chief, Tom Shamshak, investigator Dennis Griffin, renowned private investigator, former undercover cop Vito Colucci and nationally known violence expert Susan Murphy-Milano, along with guest investigators and legal and forensic experts, will examine cases in which the investigations have left questions unanswered, and possible criminal activity unexposed.

www.crimewiresite.com

Imagine Publicity

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The Beat Stops Here: Officer Involved Family Violence

By Susan Murphy Milano

“Phil had a lot to drink,” he began, his red eyes showing the depths of his emotions. “This is difficult for me to discuss the details with you but your mother was found in the kitchen on the floor—she had been shot with a .44 Magnum. The bullet exited out her right eye and onto the kitchen table.” Tom took a deep breath. “After he shot her, your father took a towel and covered her face. He was found in the bedroom and had shot himself. Susan, when was the last time you spoke with him?” For reasons foreign to me, I felt enraged at the question.

“He murdered my mother! Your “superhero” partner murdered her and you want to know when I spoke to him last? You are just as cold and heartless as he was!” I stood up knowing I wanted no part of the conversation. “Susan, wait, calm down!" Tom also stood. “I know you’re upset but there’s no reason to speak to me that way!”

I spun around to face him, a man I’d known since childhood. My face, clearly showing the contempt I was feeling at that very moment, made my father's partner, Tom Flaherty stop in his tracks.

“Bullshit!” I shouted. “All you care about is your buddy and how you can cover up his mess one more time!”

Knowing he had no defense against the spew of accusations, Chicago Detective Tom Flaherty hung his head in shame and left the residence. I stood motionless, staring at the door, wondering if I should scream or cry—or both. I was in shock. My ultimate fears realized, I felt a sense of relief when the police Chaplin returned to speak with me.

“They are preparing to transport the bodies to the morgue,” he said in almost a whisper. “Someone from the police department will call you in the morning to assist you with the funeral arrangements. Susan, is there anything I can do for you?”

In 1989, officer involved homicide was covered up; considered a black mark against a police department. And any surviving family members who remotely speaks publicly is informed what will 'happen to them," if they do not listen. More then 20 years later, after the murder-suicide of my parents, Roberta and Phillip Murphy, nothing has changed. Police Departments release few details, if any, when a wife of a police officer calls 911 emergency assistance because her husband or significant other is abusing and threatening her very existance.

Once the media learn the person responsible for the crime was in law enforcement, the truth of how many calls a victim made for help, what supervior in the police unit she contacted, or how often officers responded to a call that ultimately lead up to the tragedy, is turned inside out by police departments like a badly stained pair of dirty underwear.

Instead of reporting the facts in these cases, we read stories of victim finger pointing or glorified obituaries on how a "veteran decorated officer" served their community with honor and courage.

The wives and girlfriends in a current or former relationship with a sworn law enforcement officer have had little to no services for assistance when attempting to end and safety leave their relationships, alive. That is until, now.

In 1989, I was scared to come forward to talk about my mother's murder. No one believed us as we attempted to seek help, until she was finally silenced at the age of 47, by my father. I realized that the there was nothing more to lose or fear, ignoring the threats to my own life if I continued speaking out and working with victims.

Each day, when I want to give up and say is it all worth it? Battling a legal system that clearly needs a new pair of glasses and likely has sudden vision and memory loss when I call or enter a courtroom with a victim whose life hangs by a single thread. It is my mothers legacy that pushes me to the dawn of each new day. It is why I am so passionate about ensuring that those whom need assistance to safely end the abuse, do so with their life still in tact. My work and services are based on being in the field with victims and their families. The expertise, over 20 years of being in courtrooms across the country and keeping, wherever possible, victims alive. With special emphasis and expertise on law enforcement and military families as it relates to inmate partner violence.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available on Amazon.com, we can send it to you via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is timesupforjustice@gmail.com

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

Krishonda Leann Townsend: Mineral Wells, Texas

This is the new billboard unveiled Wednesday, for Krishonda Townsend. She was last seen on July 4th, 2010 at 7:p.M. She left home in Perrin,Texas and went to a friends house on US Highway 180 West in Mineral Wells Texas. She was driving her gray and purple 1997 Toyota.

Krishonda texted her mother via cell phone at 12:10 A.M and said she was on her way home.

She has not been seen or heard from since.

Monica Caison, founder of the CUE Center for Missing Person's along with State and Local Law Enforcement begin search efforts this weekend.

Wednesday evening from ground zero, the area where Shonda vanished, Monica Caison and family members appeared on the Roth Show to not only bring attention to the new billboard and search, but to ask listeners who have any information to please call the numbers listed on the billboard. Any information given is confidential. This means, if you know anything, regardless of a relationship or connection to someone in the community, they will not know that a call was placed to authorities and or the CUE Center, or by whom.

There is a little boy whose mommy is missing. A family torn- looking, waiting by the phone for anyone with information to come forward. With so many (over 700) taking time to comment on the original blog post HERE, I am asking that you please consider going out and help in any way possible. Post information on your myspace and facebook pages, websites, take flyers around in the community about Shonda.

For those of you who do not know why this is case and all those that are written about or featured on shows we do is very important to me, please watch the video HERE.

In case you missed the radio shows about Shonda, here are the links to listen:

January 13, 2011 The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk
Hour #1 Guest: True Crime Author, Burl Barer and new book, "Fatal Beauty"
Hour #2 Guest: Monica Caison of CUE Center for Missing Persons examining cases of missing Lindsey Baum and Krishonda Townsend
Download podcast or Listen Now

Latest updates on The Roth Show 2/22/11

http://www.therothshow.com/demos/recent/hour2Feb2211.mp3

Investigative Agency
Jack County Sheriff’s Office
(940) 567-2161

If you have any information on this case please contact CUE Center For Missing Persons using the contact form below or contact Cue Center at (910) 343-1131 24 hour tipline (910) 232-1687.

Liz Seccuro, Author of “Crash Into Me” Special Guest and the Unsolved Murder of Patty Vaughan on The Susan Murphy Milano Show “Time’s Up!”

The Susan Murphy Milano Show

“Time’s Up!”

Thursday, February 24

2pm-3pm:

Special Guest:

Liz Seccuro

As a 17 year old student at the University of Virginia, justice was no doubt the last thing in Liz Seccuro’s mind. However, that quickly changed when she became a victim of rape in a fraternity bedroom. Liz and her parents contacted local authorities, as well as campus authorities, she was examined at a local hospital, all the proper reports were made, and yet, with jurisdiction questions and the Dean of Students and the University doing nothing in her behalf, it went no further.

Seccuro graduated and went on to get married and start a family when, out of the blue, her attacker made contact with her. In an effort to complete an AA 12 step program he apologized, but it only fueled Seccuro’s fears for her safety and the safety of her family, and after 21 years, she filed charges. Liz Seccuro forced herself through panic and anxiety to bring about justice for herself and for other victims of rape, exposing the attitudes of college campuses, as well as the

justice system, and shines a light on the lack of concern for rape victims.

“Crash Into Me: A Survivor’s Search for Justice” tells the riveting story of Liz Seccuro’s ordeal.

This brave account reveals an alarming array of mishandling, poor judgment, and obfuscation or outright lies from university officials and from students at the party, and shines light on a systemic lack of concern and care given to rape victims. (Publisher’s Weekly)

3pm-4pm:

Monica Caison from CUE Center for Missing persons will be presenting the case of missing mother of three, Patty Vaughan.

Patty has been missing under suspicious circumstances since Christmas Day, 1996, and may possibly be a victim of intimate partner homicide.

Circumstances of Disappearance
Vaughan was last seen between 18.30 – 21.00 by her estranged husband at their residence in Wilson County,

Texas on December 25, 1996.

Patty and her husband began a trial separation in October 1996. He moved into an apartment in San Antonio, Texas and Patty remained at their

residence on Oak Park Road in La Vernia, Texas with their three children. The couple had been married since 1985. Patty was dating a former boyfriend in December 1996 and the relationship apparently caused an argument between Patty and her estranged husband at her home on December 25, 1996.

She is believed to have driven off after an argument with her husband.

Her husband told authorities that Patty left the house alone on December 25 and simply vanished. He filed for divorce from his wife on December 26, one day after Patty was last seen. Other family members reported her as a missing person to authorities. Patty’s blue Dodge Caravan was discovered abandoned with a flat tire on December 26, one day after she was last seen. The vehicle was located on Loop 1604 in South Bexar County, approximately 5 miles from Patty’s employer and 15 miles from her home. Tests revealed that the tire had been intentionally deflated.

Investigators searched her residence and vehicle and discovered blood inside the van, on the walls and floor of Patty’s bedroom and on a mop inside the house. Someone had attempted to clean the blood from the premises prior to discovery. DNA testing proved that the blood was Patty’s. She has never been located and no arrests have been made in connection with her case.

Foul play is suspected in Patty’s disappearance due to the circumstances involved.

We will be joined by Patty’s sister, Barb Kinsey to examine the case.

http://ncmissingpersons.org

Monica will be broadcasting from the search for Krishonda Townsend from Mineral Wells, TX and will give us an update.

Known as the “Jane Wayne of Justice,” Susan Murphy Milano always stands up as a voice for those who are silenced in a world of intimidation and violence within their homes and in courtrooms across the country.

Live from:

Hear Women Talk Network on Zeus Radio!

Listen Live:

Archived Shows for Download:

http://murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/p/radio-show-archives.html

Here Women Talk is a fresh, new spot for women to socialize, inspire and learn from each other. I know you will want to join in the interactive social network as well as listen to the radio broadcast each week. Join us in the chat room, socialize and ask questions!

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

Susan Murphy-Milano and iAscend's Pamela Chapman Lock Arms for the Greater Cause

I'm happy to announce yet another wonderful partnership.  As we add more links to the chain, it becomes stronger in our understanding of intimate partner violence and how to best assist victims at each level.

Two global voices form joint-venture partnership to eradicate intimate-partner abuse and the violent crimes associated with it while bringing hope, restoration and radical change to its victims.

GYPSUM, CO, February 22, 2011 /24-7PressRelease/ -- Two, no-nonsense forces joint venture to fight against intimate-partnerviolence and the heinous crimes associated with it. "We don't stop there," Chapman states. "Due to their experiences, victims are often left bruised. This partnership assists victims through the entire transformation--from the danger and abuse into radical change, empowerment and abundant living using proven, step-by-step tools."

Susan Murphy-Milano is praised as one of the most dynamic and engaging speakers of our day in the domestic-violence prevention field. As an expert in the area of intimate-partner violence and the prevention of homicide, Murphy-Milano has created specific toolsand procedures which the abused need to safely leave a violent relationship.

Ms. Murphy-Milano has been an intimate-partner advocate since childhood having witnessed her father, a decorated Chicago Violent Crimes Detective, brutally and violently attack her mother repeatedly. The words, "If you leave I will kill you," turned into reality the night she walked into her home and found her mother murdered and her father in the next room dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. She vowed, at that time, to carve a road and change the way the world looked at violence in and outside the home. Murphy-Milano has since kept her promise. Her quest for justice was instrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lauternberg Act. Her books and strategies are taught worldwide by law enforcement, domestic abuse advocates, social workers, attorneys, health care workers, human resource departments and domestic violence agencies.

Known as the "Jane Wayne of Justice," she stands as a voice for the silenced in a world of intimidation and violence within their homes and in courtrooms across the country. Murphy-Milano's specialty is domestic violence case and document reviews, divorce planning, criminal case reviews and abusive relationships involving law enforcement.

It has been said that Pamela Chapman's audience comes forward, to the edges of their seats, anticipating the healing words that come from a higher source. Each one is hushed listening intently to hear a message perfectly orchestrated for their personal life.

A product of childhood domestic violence herself, Chapman grew up voiceless combating low self-esteem, and plagued with debilitating fears. While excelling at everything she touched, tormented by perfectionism, at the end of a day she felt unfulfilled, fearful, and discontented. At the age of 40, her life erupted forcing her to realize if she did not experience an extreme life change, she would come to her demise. Since then, Chapman has been on a quest finding real healing, restoration, and a life of amazing abundance. She found her destiny, calling and purpose when she turned her attention away from herself and focused on being a voice, advocate, and coach for others who were yet in her old dilemma--just getting through life without purpose, direction and fulfillment.

Today, as an author, spiritual teacher, certified coach, and advocate, her gifts help mend the broken hearted. Chapman's niche is self-esteem, abundant-life consulting where she works mostly with women who are ready, willing and able to live a life of empowerment. She does not believe in victimization, cycling, or hopelessness. She believes if a woman wants to move forward, she has to stop looking back, be transparent with herself, break life-debilitating patterns, and believe that the power to change is within. Chapman offers a service called, "The Abundant Life Extreme Makeover," where she uses coaching, mentoring and practical tools as well as Emotional Freedom Technique to move women forward effectively, efficiently and painlessly.

The two have already changed thousands of lives globally. Chapman, and Murphy-Milano are blog-talk show hosts "Beyond the Shift-Living Your Bliss" and "Here Women Talk" respectively, and are also blog authors. Murphy-Milano has been prominently featured in newspapers, magazines, radio and television including: The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Radio, ABC'S 20/20, Justice Files, E-True Hollywood, CNN to name only a few. Chapman has numerous humanitarian awards.

Imagine Publicity, Inc. is promoting Chapman and Murphy-Milano in their new joint venture.
Website:
http://www.pamelachapman.biz

The Roth Show: Krishona Townsend Search Live From The Crime Scene at Ground Zero

The “Annie Oakley of the Airwaves” and
the “Jane Wayne of Justice”

The Roth Show!

Wednesday evenings from 6-8pm ET, 3-5pm PT, Dr. Laurie Roth and Susan Murphy Milano highlight injustice, featuring up to the moment discussions on what’s going wrong!

Monica Caison of CUE Center for Missing Persons
http://ncmissingpersons.org

Reporting directly from the search for Krishonda Townsend, Monica Caison will bring us an up to the minute report from Mineral Wells, TX.

Krishonda Townsend was last seen on July 4th, 2010 at 7:p.M. She left home in Perrin,Texas and went to a friends house on US Highway 180 West in Mineral Wells Texas. She was driving her gray and purple 1997 Toyota.

Krishonda texted her mother via cell phone at 12:10 A.M and said she was on her way home.

She has not been seen or heard from since.

Her 1997 Toyota was located on July 6th, 2010 in the 800 block of SE 3rd Ave in Mineral Wells.

To read about Krishonda’s case and the hundred's of comments regarding her killer (s) attempt at staging her disappearance to make it look like an abduction read about it here : Krishonda Leanne Townsend: A Victim of Intimate Partner Violence ?

http://therothshow.com

The Roth Show is a nationally syndicated talk show hosted by Dr. Laurie Roth, Ph.D., and stands on principles and leading the charge for the legions of Americans who are saying “Enough Already!”

Crime Wire Investigates: Missing Jamie Grissim

Crime Wire Investigates: Missing Jamie Grissim with Monica Caison

www.crimewiresite.com

Tuesday, February 22, 9pm ET

Special Guest Monica Caison of CUE Center for Missing Persons

http://ncmissingpersons.org

Monica Caison will be presenting the case of missing

Jamie Grissim

Jamie was last seen on the morning of December 7, 1971, as she left for school at Ft. Vancouver High School by her sister. Her purse, ID, and possessions were found in May 1972 in the woods NE of Vancouver, at a bridge crossing within very short distance from a trail where two victims were found.

Jamie is considered to be the first victim of a potential serial killer who is believed to have raped and killed 6 to 8 young Vancouver women in Clark County between January 10, 1972 and October 1, 1974. He was tried for the death of one woman in 1978 and received life sentence. Jamie is still missing. One body was

never identified to this day. All victims except Jamie have been found.

Joining the Crime Wire Team in the discussion is Jamie Grissim’s sister, Starr Lara

Investigation Search Team
Detective Rick Buckner, Clark County Sheriff’s Office
Rick.Buckner@clark.wa.gov - (360) 397-2024
http://www.clark.wa.gov/sheriff

Be sure to keep up to date on featured cases and issues on our website:

http://crimewiresite.com

Join Susan each Tuesday night at 9pm ET with Author and former police officer, Dennis Griffin and Private Investigator and Author, Vito Colucci, Jr. as we feature cases of unsolved murder, botched investigations, missing persons and crimes in the news.

To Listen Live:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/crimewire

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