HBO Network Show "Entourage" Sanctions Domestic Violence and Murder

Actor Jeremy Piven Plays Ari Gold on the hit HBO series Entourage

I know this is "only" a television show and its edgy wit is what their loyal viewers expect but, the episode over the weekend sent the wrong message.

In the show Piven plays a high powered agent to the stars in Hollywood. When his character Ari Gold is asked if he has a pre nup agreement with his wife the response is:

"I will kill my wife first before I'd let that happen."

Women are being slaughtered in their homes on a daily basis and to think that such a show doesn't have an impact on someone watching who is distraught or angry over their marriage ending, think again. Giving a character this loaded line is no different than handing a viewer a full chamber of bullets.

The impact of this show says to its’ fans that murdering ones’ wife is okay. Every time this episode airs the HBO network is sanctioning murder within the family.

Safety and Personal Protection

It is rare when we see a hostage situation conclude without the loss of lives. Last week Nancy Tyler was taken at gunpoint from her place of employment. Her estranged husband ordered her to drive to the couple's former home with a gun pointed at her from the back seat.

Nancy Tyler had filed for divorce and her violent, controlling husband was not going to allow her to end the divorce with her life. There is a lot to be learned from what Nancy Tyler did that day for 12 hours.

First, she remained calm. She followed his orders. She didn't raise her voice or try and argue with him. What she did do was continue talking about anything and everything. Police and the swat team were outside and he was also speaking with a news reporter by telephone demanding police stay away from the home.

During those 12 terrifying hours, he handcuffed Nancy Tyler to an eyebolt in a basement wall; told her the house was rigged to explode, and repeatedly held a gun to her head while he recited countdowns to what was to be her death. Nancy took the split second when he was distracted and ran out a small door down in the basement to safety.

Nancy Tyler's quick thinking during the entire ordeal and many prayers to God is what saved her from being killed. In many cases where were read news stories of tragedies it is difficult for victims to remain calm. A technique not often taught or used in one's self defense of their lives.

Thinking like the offender, abuser, and criminal is often an important technique that either buys time or as in Nancy Tyler case saves lives.

Recently, I had the opportunity to listen to several 911 tapes of abuse victims who ultimately lost their lives. In those calls while the phone was on as the woman was running for her life you could hear the chaos and fear just before shots were fired. In a few of the calls perhaps if they had been calmer or been able to divert the shooter the outcome might have been different. I am not suggesting one method or another would have changed the tragedies. I am asking that we look at applying self defense training and strategies using words as an additional way to remain alive.
In cases where you are going through a divorce and the children is in the home what safety techniques have you considered practicing? Maybe the person has threatened to kill you and believe he won't hurt me with his kids in the house. Think Again!

A person who has threatened your life for ending the relationship or marriage has no problem taking everyone out with them.

Hostage negotiators are often successful at getting people to surrender because they have been trained. And in my 20 years as a trainer I implement various techniques that have kept a woman and her children alive. If you are in an abusive relationship it is time that you begin to implement and practice strategies to keep you safe. Listen weekly to the Susan Murphy Milano Show or send in suggestions on what you would like to know and we will feature you and or the information on the show. Email address is contact@movingoutmovingon.com

And as my colleague Anny Jacoby teaches: PERSONAL SAFETY/SELF-DEFENSE IS NOT USED TO FIGHT........IT'S USED TO DEFENDNo excuses, Time's UP!

Where Is The Asylum For American Women?

Apparently, our government is seriously considering granting asylum for battered women from other countries. Now there is a concept! Curious, I contacted a church that helps those granted asylum and learned when our government provides assistance, the person is given housing, placed on public aide amounting to approximately $2,000 a month and in many cases a second hand vehicle so they can get around. And other perks depending on the individual’s needs. We cannot take care of victims of abuse in our own country. Why are we extending a hand to foreigners? Is the abuse different or more life threatening from the women in our own country?

Women whom are born in United States are living in the same conditions as those the government has offered to help with little to no options for safety and proper services to escape their abusers. I personally know several hundred women whom are beaten, raped, kept like prisoners in their own homes and forced to deal with their abusers one way or the other or else they will be killed, identical life threatening situations as the women in the New York Times article. Where is the asylum for American women?

If our government can come up with a way to house, educate and find jobs for battered women from other countries in this economy, we should first have a system in place for American women before we start offering a safe haven to immigrants.

Do not misunderstand. I am about helping battered women, but let us help those where we have the greatest need, and the highest mortality rate, right here in the good old United States.

A Memo to Boston Governor Deval Patrick

The Governor of Boston Deval Patrick has proclaimed domestic violence an epidemic. I mean no disrespect to his honor. I applaud his attempts at heightening awareness. He is designating $1.3 million dollars for a study .

The problem is, solutions will not be revealed in a study. Likely administered by individuals who have no idea what is domestic violence or the deadly , yet silent dangers victims and their children face three hundred and sixty five days a year seven days a week. Or the law enforcement families who are unable to seek basic legal remedies because their boyfriend or husband is issued a badge and a gun within the State of Boston.

Governor Patrick, a study will not produce results. It will only add more flames to a fire already out of control in the lives of family violence victims.

You would not hire someone to run your campaign for re-election who did not have experience and a track record would you? Then sir, why commission and ineffective tool likely to sit on someone's desk for a few years.

There is a group of individuals who are in the trenches and on top of the issues of family violence in the home across the country. These experts, given the opportunity would implement more than a study with the $1.3 million dollars. Sir, they would create tools that are effective and save lives.

I for one would like nothing more then to not attend another funeral. Or explain to a child why Mommy or Daddy are not, ever, coming home.

I would welcome an opportunity to discuss real options and potential solutions. It will not cost you $1.3 million dollars. A plane ticket and lunch seems like a real bargin.

Afterall, Governor, one cannot put a price on human lives.

My direct email address is : contact@movingoutmovingon.com

Link to the Governors Home Page:
http://www.mass.gov/?pageID=gov3homepage&L=1&L0=Home&sid=Agov3

http://www.bostonglobe.com/

FYI- Please Take a moment to visit new site link: http://www.womenincrimeink.blogspot.com/