Chemical Insanity

The responsibility of a person who chooses to drink belongs to that individual. Be it a man or a woman. They own it! They live it, they breathe it, and they bathe in it. And with all their might, in a very subtle, manipulative way they make you own their disease and take responsibility for their drinking and actions.

You love and care for this individual so much, you take on this overwhelming burden. As if you are taking care of another child. How did you get yourself to this place? First, recognize that the problem is not playing hide and seek somewhere in your backyard and when it gets dark it will all go away. You have set the table at your house. The disease lives right there with you. And now, it is a member of your household. Affixed permanently, walking, taking and destroying everything in its path. Think for a moment what plan of action you take when there is a tornado coming. Simple enough, you go to the basement or a safe room seeking shelter until it passes.

How are you going to plan ahead and be prepared when the next outburst or incident happens in public?

Example: Let's say you are at a relative’s home, with the in-laws and friends of the family. You get up and check on your spouse. You see that they have had too much to drink. That automatic alarm inside goes off telling you it is time to go home. Suddenly you look at the clock and say out “loud thank you for everything, it is time we get going, we have an early day.” All of a sudden your lovely mother in-law says "I don't why he has to drink so much, no one in my family had a drinking problem. I just don't know where he could have picked it up." Then she shoots you this evil look, as if it is your problem and you better fix it. She might as well have thrown a sword across the room, and into your heart, the feeling is no different.

Take a couple of deep breaths. Look directly at her. Calmly as possible respond to the mentally challenged mother of the diseased son and say "I am not responsible for anyone's drinking." turn around, leave the room.

Her son is a very sick and dependent addict. Welcome to "Chemical Insanity". You are the caretaker of a chemically dependent insane man.

You also are infected with the disease. No not like a mosquito bite or chicken pocks that clears up and goes away. Once infected, you will always be open to a relapse. Even if you leave the marriage or relationship, divorce, separate, tell yourself "I've learned my lesson I will never marry anyone like that again". WRONG!

Unless you seek help from groups such as Al-anon, or seek out the help of professional counselor maybe a therapist you are likely to enter into the same type of relationship, again. You need to be in constant recovery mode. Just like an alcoholic, they must work on their addiction every day. Even after a person has not taken a drink for a number of years, we hear them respond I am an alcoholic, when someone says oh good for you, you quit drinking. They may not have had a drink for twenty years, but they are still an alcoholic. And they know they have the ability to slip back and drink again.

Be prepared and get help. This disease affects everyone in your household. Otherwise it will return in another shape, size, eye color, hair style, again.

Alcohol and Protecting Those We Love

When alcohol affects your relationship, marriage and family, over time, very slowly, it begins to destroy everything around you. Yes, it is a disease. But, those who live with the disease are also affected by the sickness.

Continuing to believe broken promises, crying, threatening to leave if they don't stop drinking. Now your in a constant depression, filled with anxiety and guilt. Is that what you want out of life?

How? The word enable comes to mind. When you cover up for someone's behavior like calling the boss and making excuses when they can't make it out of bed and into the office. Or when they make a promise to your child to do something together and the next day have no memory of what was planned. So your left with telling your child something that isn't true because they won't understand.

Maybe you are constantly apologizing to others for their outbursts or inappropriate behaviors. Or, if you have a business and decisions are being made that have or will have an adverse affect on your finances.You worked long and hard to build a business, together. And somehow you believe , as you have always done in the past can fix things and make them better. More likely then not, they are a wonderful person, you know they love you so much, with every fiber of their being, they are your entire world, you can't live without them, your literally joined at the hip. Until you start to pay attention to little things in the beginning like passing out while eating dinner and you had to help them into bed. Or maybe they have been getting behind the wheel of a car and driving home when they were near or close enough to not be driving, period. You excuse the behavior, say nothing, fix them something to eat and off to be they go until the next morning when you act as though everything is fine. Because you are also in denial.

This begins a pattern, a habit, now out of control. The drinking has become so common that you continue to enable and go with the flow of the daily routine. This person who you love with all you heart, may be to the point where their system has no down time from the alcohol. The bottom line. they are in a constant state of having alcohol in their system, around the clock twenty-four hours a day. Their disease is now affecting you and your health, not to mention your marriage. What do you do? Do you remain silent? Talk to a friend or family member? Talk to the person with the problem and insist they go get help or you will leave?

The responsibility of a person who chooses to drink belongs to that individual. Be it a man or a woman. They own it! They live it, they breathe it, they even bathe in it. And with all their might, in a very subtle, manipulative way that make you own their disease and take responsibility for their drinking and actions. You need a plan. I have provided a link that I believe will assist you. Please take a moment and visit the site: http://www.al-anon.org/