When alcohol affects your relationship, marriage and family, over time, very slowly, it begins to destroy everything around you. Yes, it is a disease. But, those who live with the disease are also affected by the sickness.
Continuing to believe broken promises, crying, threatening to leave if they don't stop drinking. Now your in a constant depression, filled with anxiety and guilt. Is that what you want out of life?
How? The word enable comes to mind. When you cover up for someone's behavior like calling the boss and making excuses when they can't make it out of bed and into the office. Or when they make a promise to your child to do something together and the next day have no memory of what was planned. So your left with telling your child something that isn't true because they won't understand.
Maybe you are constantly apologizing to others for their outbursts or inappropriate behaviors. Or, if you have a business and decisions are being made that have or will have an adverse affect on your finances.You worked long and hard to build a business, together. And somehow you believe , as you have always done in the past can fix things and make them better. More likely then not, they are a wonderful person, you know they love you so much, with every fiber of their being, they are your entire world, you can't live without them, your literally joined at the hip. Until you start to pay attention to little things in the beginning like passing out while eating dinner and you had to help them into bed. Or maybe they have been getting behind the wheel of a car and driving home when they were near or close enough to not be driving, period. You excuse the behavior, say nothing, fix them something to eat and off to be they go until the next morning when you act as though everything is fine. Because you are also in denial.
This begins a pattern, a habit, now out of control. The drinking has become so common that you continue to enable and go with the flow of the daily routine. This person who you love with all you heart, may be to the point where their system has no down time from the alcohol. The bottom line. they are in a constant state of having alcohol in their system, around the clock twenty-four hours a day. Their disease is now affecting you and your health, not to mention your marriage. What do you do? Do you remain silent? Talk to a friend or family member? Talk to the person with the problem and insist they go get help or you will leave?
The responsibility of a person who chooses to drink belongs to that individual. Be it a man or a woman. They own it! They live it, they breathe it, they even bathe in it. And with all their might, in a very subtle, manipulative way that make you own their disease and take responsibility for their drinking and actions. You need a plan. I have provided a link that I believe will assist you. Please take a moment and visit the site: http://www.al-anon.org/