Susan Murphy Milano's Journal: September 2011

Friday, September 30, 2011

David Hartley Story One Year Later Still Does Not Float

“Nearly year after David Hartley's mysterious disappearance from Falcon Lake, the man's body has yet to be recovered. CNN reports Hartley's widow, Tiffany, has sued the State Department, Justice Department, and FBI in an attempt to learn what happened to her husband.”

A year has passed when the world heard a distressed wife call and explain from a cell phone that she escaped pirates and her husband had just been shot on Falcon Lake. David Hartley was on his jet skis when the couple was “ambushed.” His body has never been recovered.

I need to clarify first Tiffany Hartley is not a widow. There is no body. A death certificate has never been signed or issued. David Hartley is a missing person. The wife is the sole witness to the craziest story I have ever heard as it relates to missing person intimate partner homicide. In my opinion, this fairy tale is pale in comparison to male offenders murdering their wives or girlfriends. Their stories would never hold water and yet for some reason hers floats.

Tiffany Hartley has sued the State Department, Justice Department and FBI? To learn what happened? Wasn’t she there?

I have said this before, if someone with common sense, a reporter or law enforcement agency takes the words from the 911 call made by Tiffany Hartley and recreates what she said happened on September 30, 2010, at a lake with jet skis, you will see what was said is in my expert opinion a fairy tale. Perhaps those whom were sued could consider saving themselves tax payer dollars find a lake and follow her script.

David Hartley is missing. Body and border patrol used in the same sentence screams foul play. A convenient cover-up for, in my opinion, cold blooded murder.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sunshine in Sunrise Removed for Danielle Lorenzo and Linda Scudera as a Result of Intimate Partner Homicide

Over the weekend in Sunrise, Florida, a five year-old child runs out from witnessing a massacre in her own home to a neighbors door for help.

In front of the child [pictured above in grandma's arms] her step-father at close range shoots Danielle Lorenzo age 30[pictured right] her mother, fires another round at her grandma Linda Scudera, age 56, before turning the gun on himself committing suicide.

With the assistance of the neighbor the 5 year child spoke to the 911 operator in detail as to what happened. The call is very disturbing and it is below:

Listen:

UNCUT: Sunrise 911 Call

The child says " I need someplace to live my mommy, daddy and grandma are dead."

Today in court a hearing was held as to the temporary placement of the child. Under child services she will temporarily remain with a babysitter with whom she is familiar. But what happens to the child when these strangers who will have control of her until the age of 18, determine where to place her? Is anyone really all that concerned about another child, suddenly a number in the system?

The 911 call must be America's awake up to take action in all cases of intimate partner homicide and those left behind. Danielle had suffered prior incidents of abuse. She had enough and was planning on divorcing her husband. He responded to Danielle's request to end the relationship by killing she and her mother in cold blood.

The child will never, ever recover from this trauma. She will require services that the State of Florida will not cover due to lack of quality resources and services. Placing the child in the system will be internalized at some level as a punishment for what "daddy did to my mommy." And if you believe she will get past this or forget what happened, you are mistaken. When you witness or discover such horror, nothing erases it from your mind. Very few experts treating this type of specific trauma are not successful and often resort to medication as a major part of therapy.

The solution begins in recognizing intimate partner violence as a crime. The lives this shatters go beyond the victim and offender. It literally destroys the ability for a child to live a normal life well into their adult years.

Week after week I provide an insight into these real life tragedies, praying that the world will wake up and actually do something that changes lives. Treat these cases from the beginning with the same seriousness given to a drunk who gets in their car and drives. The offenders committing a first or second offense have no consequences as it relates to intimate partner violence. For the most part it is not dealt with as a crime, even though we have laws that say otherwise.

I am the daughter of Roberta Murphy. When she was alive, I had a brief glimmer that hope really existed. When she was murdered in cold blood by my father who then committed suicide, the sun stopped shinning in my life. And though I so readily attempt to pass hope out to the world like a piece of candy on a street corner, it is what gets me up most mornings. The possibility that I can and do keep another person alive.

Related Coverage:

http://www.local10.com/news/29298528/detail.html

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21005482080984/loved-ones-speak-out-on-double-murder-suicide/

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21005477005518/

http://www.local10.com/bobnorman/29307837/detail.html

http://www.techno-forensics.com/session/intimate-partner-violence-growing-epidemic-how-technology-can-aid-law-enforcement-and-prosec

Providing information on what you need to do if you or someone you know is in a potentially violent relationship is done with the hope of saving lives. My work in the area of intimate partner prevention of homicides for over 20 years is a direct result of not being able to save my own mother back in 1989, killed by her police detective husband prior to committing suicide.

And as always, if you have questions, my email adddress is murphymilano@gmail.com

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman,Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Network on Vimeo.

If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UPcan save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community. In partnership withManagement Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace.

Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

Radio Shows: Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

Books: Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives.

www.imaginepublicity.com

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Elizabeth Dean, Brittany Kirk and Connor Kirk : Clear and Present Danger

In April of 2011, a man was convicted in the triple murders on February 13, 2009 of his wife Elizabeth Dean, 45 and (her) children Brittany Kirk age 14, Connor Kirk age 13.

The man responsible for the execution style murders did not just "snap" as reported by the media. He was not "insane." The questions, theory's or excuse's of husbands murdering as to the "Why's" often asked by law enforcement or used as a defense during plea deals or at trial completely miss the mark as it relates directly to intimate partner homicide.

Individuals committing these crimes are controlling and physically abuse over an extended period of time. You will not see them act out in public. Their actions are the opposite of what the general public, friends and relatives are lead to believe. Often, their voice is caring and warm. Their actions towards a wife or family member seen as devoted and affectionate. To a clever abusive manipulative and violent offender the general public is their stage. The audience sitting in front row seats watches an amazing academy award winning performance.

But, it is a far cry from who the psychopathic offenders really are in their home or castle, behind closed doors in the community where they reside.

I had a difficulty reading some of the media coverage on the murders. The opening of the news stories taking center stage on the offender as a "devoted and doting husband." In my opinion, given the nature of the horrific crimes, I as a homicide survivor found it insulting. The story should have focused more on how law enforcement are working to identify these perpetrators, victims and the dangers individuals pose when you remain in a violent because it will could lead to homicide. And, it would have been nice to see more warm and fuzzy words about Elizabeth and the children.

The warning signs were there in this case prior to the murders as further evidenced by the following statement I read provided to a reporter :

"From time to time, Dean -- an otherwise "sweet" and "God-fearing" husband and stepfather -- would speak of his dreams, in which he had "a desire to do violent things to people," said Muroski, of Richmond. "He wouldn't, because he knew it was wrong. But something inside him wanted to do it."

Profile of an Abuser

The abuser can be a male or female. The abuser can be sweet, handsome and unassuming to everyone, but you.

An abuser knows exactly how to manipulate all types of situations.

An abuser is the most generous and helpful person to the neighbor, your family, and friends. If you tell anyone you are being abused it is not likely you will be believed. When you are or were dating you thought it was “special” that this person was jealous of anyone who approached. Thinking how lucky you were until you moved in with them or married and the jealously turned into anger and rage, chances are you love this guy with all your heart and yet they still accuse you of having “secret affairs” or relationships with everyone else but, them.

The abuser is very insecure.

The abuser constantly questions your loyalty to them, the children and having a future together.

The abuser is clever at showing sincere intentions, but often has other motives

The abuser hurts or destroys family pets.

Jekyll and Hyde personality, they can be sweet one day and angry and violent the next.

The abuser is clever at showing sincere intentions, but often has other motives.

If you are pregnant, the abuser can become upset with you and angry and may attempt to make you miscarry. Once the child is born you may not be allowed to run and comfort your baby. An abuser expects the same attention and or sexual intimacy prior to the pregnancy.

An abuser may be unusually rough or use measures of discipline far too extreme on your child.

An abuser does not have the ability to love another person, is very critical of others.

An abuser blames you for everything that goes wrong in their lives; their job, outside pressures, whatever it is, you are blamed. Regardless of the situation; it is always your fault.

An abuser denies hurting you, almost acting like it never even happened.

The abuser will make excuses for why they become angry or physically violent.

The abuser blames their drug and alcohol abuse on you or their parents.

The abuser believes in maintaining control over every aspect of their lives to the point of obsession, including monitoring activities of you and or the children.

The Teeter Totter Abuser – remember when you were a child playing at the park?An Abuser rises you up and brings you down the same way as a teeter totter. One day they are driving you out of their lives saying things like “I have had it”, you are “worthless”

“I am leaving” to this is all “your fault” and beating you to “make you behave”.The next they are rising you up high by apologizing, sending you flowers, a card. They may actually cry or beg you not to leave them. They say things like: "I am sorry"; “It will never happen again"; “Don't you understand how much I love you?" They bring you gifts, or suggest a romantic weekend away. Suddenly they act as if they worship the ground you walk on. And acting as if they worship the very ground you walk.

Tarzan Abuser- their attitude and behavior is no different than “Me, Tarzan” (as they beat their chest) meaning they are superior to you, they are the “provider.”To “You, Jane” follow my lead, do as I say, be their slave, wait on their every desire, you are the invisible less important person in the relationship.

An abuser has an important career in the public, people depend on them for answers, and the abusive person brings this attitude home with them.

And as always, if you have questions, my email adddress is murphymilano@gmail.com

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman, Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Network on Vimeo.

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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Shattered Silence in Law Enforcement Families

Barbara Sheehan, is currently in a New York Court, in the trial for her life. Back in November of 2008 I wrote about the case, and again in February of 2008, after her appearance on the Oprah show. In so many ways, her life reminds me of my own mother, silenced after years of abuse by my police detective father.

Ammunition and knives found in the nightstand of retired NYPD crime scene sergeant Raymond Sheehan. He told his wife his forensics expertise would let him get away with anything.

In February of 2008, Barbara Sheehan(pictured above) wife of New York retired Sgt. Raymond Sheehan was charged with second degree murder.

If it sounds simple it is not. If you think Barbara Sheehan could have easily planned an escape away from the violence, I can attest to the fact, her only exist strategy would have been in a body bag, hers.

This morning the 47 -year old Barbara was interviewed on Good Morning America with her daughter sitting beside her. As I heard the woman speak, it was no different from my own mother's words. And, Barbara Sheehan is the same age as my own mother, Roberta Murphy, who was also married to a homicide detective out of Chicago.

My mother was not so lucky. She was carried out in a body bag.

Growing up in an abusive police officer home does not stop when the officer goes on medical or retires. Often the abuse and violence can increase. My mother use to say "once he's off the job, things will be better." Instead, while he was on medical leave, my mothers life was pure hell.

My father stalked my mother. He constantly kept track of her every move. When she did not do as she was told, he found a way to make her "behave". This included my father informing my mother exactly how she would be killed.

So am I saying it is alright to take a life? No, I am not. But, in the blue world, it is not as easy as you may think to have an exist strategy or a safety plan. And in my experience with other officers wives in violent relationships, it comes down to a him or me survival. And to survive Barbara Sheehan lived in psychological terror and a constant battle zone behind the blue doors. No she made a police report or ever had him arrested, it would only fuel him further. And Barbara, knew it.

A police officers wife has a difficult time seeking orders of protection. Often, they cannot access the same avenue for assistance. And women in or married to those in law enforcement who are abused understand because they have been told by the abuser "they will kill them" and get away with it. Or "no one is going to believe them."

I could see and hear from Barbara Sheehans words and body language that facing prison is not going to be as bad as the hell of an existance she was forced to endure for so many years. She has hired attorney Michael Dowd who will be representing her in her trial scheduled for sometime in the spring.

Yes, he was shot 11 times while in the bathroom. It is likely that was the only time Raymond Sheehan did not have immediate access to the heavy artilary he owned. The bathroom was the only place you would not find bullets, handguns or knives.

I am on the stump on this tragedy. My father use to say what appears obvious to the world in the aftermath of a crime scene, may not always be how it really happened. Hands are a funny thing, when tested on a crime scene you have your answers one way or another.

Trial Stories and Coverage:

http://crimeaddicts.yuku.com/forums/239

http://www.wpix.com/news/local/wpix-daughter-tells-of-fathers-reign-of-terror,0,5879212.story

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/26/nyregion/an-abused-wife-or-an-executioner.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/22/nyregion/son-testifies-in-barbara-sheehans-murder-trial.html

http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Barbara-Sheehan-trial-begins-accused-of-killing-her-husband-an-Irish-American-cop--VIDEO-129564298.html

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman, Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Network on Vimeo.

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Susan Murphy Milano's Journal

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Friday, September 30, 2011

David Hartley Story One Year Later Still Does Not Float

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sunshine in Sunrise Removed for Danielle Lorenzo and Linda Scudera as a Result of Intimate Partner Homicide

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Elizabeth Dean, Brittany Kirk and Connor Kirk : Clear and Present Danger

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Shattered Silence in Law Enforcement Families

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