Thursday, July 21, 2011

Jacque Waller and The Crime Within A Crime "Missing Mothers and Suspicious Deaths"

I watch the various news sites and social networks with hope that American's will "get the fact" when a mother vanishes, she didn't take off on her own. That when a mother "suddenly" goes missing or is discovered in a bathtub minus water, it was at the hands of the person with whom she was ending the relationship.

The crime that happens while still alive is in different stages for victims of intimate partner violence that leads to homicide. First, society is not all that supportive of women who stay in violent relationships. The questions always comes up" Why do you stay?" When society should really be asking why is that individual allowed to get away with acts that are criminal? They would not be able to beat a stranger. Or grab them by the hair and wipe the floor with them. Yet a person who is abusive seemingly gets away with the violence. The victim is fearful of calling the police or making a report. They feel that they can either "handle the abuse" or greater harm will come to they or their children merely by placing a phone call to law enforcement. There is no real consequences for someone who goes around terrorizing members of their family behind closed doors. The likely hood of getting arrested for drunk driving carries more weight within the criminal justice system and society. You see it is against the law to drink and drive. But it's not against the law to make someone vanish and tell the world she left on her own. Especially when you were the last person known to see them alive.

So the victim lives with the crimes committed against them, in silence, until she gains the strength and courage to leave. This is not easy for victims to accomplish as evidenced by case after case of missing mothers who are "suddenly" reported missing by family members other than their husbands. These mom's do everything in their power to give the abuser what he wants in exchange for their freedom. The abuser could care less they only want the person to pay for leaving. That can mean death.

Earlier today, on The Roth Show, with Dr. Laurie Roth, Ph.D, Monica Caison, founder of the CUE Center for Missing Persons, along with the parents of missing mother Jacque Waller; Ruby and Stan Rawson, discussed during a commercial break what may have happened in the last moments of their daughters life. Keep in mind that Jacque stood all of 5 2" inches tall and her estranged husband Clay Waller well over 6' foot in height. Clay Waller lies to his estranged wife telling her to come to the house and pick up their son. He is never in the home, but across state lines with a girlfriend in Illinois. How many seconds does Jacque have once she enters the front door before she is taken down by Waller?

Listen to The Roth Show here:

From personal experience an angry abusive partner wants to see and watch the last breathe leave the person with whom they have lost control. I would learn just how sick and twisted someone like this is when my own father audio tapped the entire murder of my own mother back in 1989, before he turned the gun on himself. Some abusers take their own lives while other play the game of "catch me if you can." In my opinion, that is exactly what Clay Waller has done.

A massive search is planned this weekend for Jacque Waller in Missouri. The Cue Center for missing person's is returning for a third week to find her, but they need the public's assistance. Teams of trained and certified cadaver dogs, horses and searchers will be combing various areas and they need the public's help with food, water and donations. If you would like to help please visit their website at

If you have any information that could aide in finding Jacque Waller please call the confidential tip line at 910-232-1687. Or Law Enforcement with information or tips at 573-243-3151.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

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