Is There Anything You Can Do For Me?

“The strong odor of death remained, permeating the air in the house like an uninvited guest, jolting my senses with a one-two punch. The odor was so pungent I popped my head outside the door again, and inhaled the clean, crisp, winter air.” I made my way towards the kitchen, it was too dark to see anything, I flipped the light switch, nothing, maybe a breaker was out? The odor grew stronger. A few feet from my childhood bedroom Bobbie, my mother- lay murdered."


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“They are preparing to transport the bodies to the morgue,” the police chaplin said in almost a whisper. “Someone from the police department will call you in the morning to assist you with the funeral arrangements. Susan, is there anything I can do for you?”



A thousand thoughts passed through my mind with lighting speed, but I was in shock, unable to speak.

That was in 1989 and I have been waiting to respond to that question since I began my work with victims of intimate partner violence and homicide a year or so after my parents died. Now, 20 years later, no one has ever asked again, is there anything I can do for you.

Yes, as a matter of fact, you can do something for me.

Before I lay out my request of what you can do for me, understand that for years in many ways I have been silenced from speaking out on first hand knowledge of what really is happening as it relates to victims of intimate partner violence and homicide. Those individuals know all too well what I am talking about. As they say, "shit rolls down hill."

If I were to lay everything out, my career would be over. I, too, would be silenced, like my mother. So over the years I had to learn the hard way to bite the side of my lip and do what I could for victims that resulted in successfully saving their lives.

When a system does what it always has done, the outcome never changes.

An example of this are the 147 murdered women and children from September 1 through September 27, 2010, these are the states they were killed in:

NE (2); NY (8); LA (1); AL (7); FL (20); AZ (4); TN (4); TX (17); VA (7); CA (6); UT (2); MI (6); WA (4); OH (8); SC (7); HI (2); MA (4); CO (3); PA (4); OR (4); MD (3); KY (6); NC (3); MO (1); MS (1); IL (9); NM (1); ID (1); MT (2).

Where is the outrage over 147 innocent women and children who were murdered by their intimate partners within 27 days?

What You Can You Do For Me?

If you currently hold a position as a bureau chief, head of the felony division at a district or state's attorneys office, work for the department of health and human services; are the head of a large communications company i.e. Verizon, AT & T, Sprint, Cellular One, make decisions at Avon, Xerox, MaryKay, Citibank, American Express, Chase Bank; are employed at Harpo Studio's, MSNBC, WSJ, CNN, Apple Computer, or you are with a major health care organization, university, private foundation or law school, if you are interested in thinking outside the box and to implement effective and life saving change, I can either be reached 312-675-2254 or by email at murphymilano@gmail.com.

I would very much like to stop the bloodshed and I need your help to do it.
Thank You.



Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

White House Press Release Won't Stop The Slaughter

At the begining of October President Obama issued a Proclaimation as it relates to this being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. With great admiration for our President, without a strategic plan of action words in a press release do nothing to stop the slaughter of Americans' and their children suffering from an epidemic where bodily harm and murder are taking the lives of innocent victims due partially to lack of funding and services for its' victims.

Perhaps the President and his administration would consider creating a campaign asking prominent sports figures (that don't have a history of violence themselves) to participate in public service announcements during televised games sending a message that violence is not acceptable behavior, it is a criminal offense and just like drunk driving you will be arrested and prosecuted.

Another suggestion is to create a brief message for school students delivered by President Obama himself to classrooms benefiting those whose voices are silenced because they believe violence is a way of life in their own homes.

The current admistration has the power to change the plight for victims of violence in our nation. It requires a heck of a lot more than issuing a proclaimation that most will never read because they have already lost their lives!

President Obama's proclamation:

THE WHITE HOUSEOffice of the Press SecretaryFor Immediate Release October 1, 2009 NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH, 2009- - - - - - -BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICAA PROCLAMATION

Domestic violence touches the lives of Americans of allages, leaving a devastating impact on women, men, and children of every background and circumstance. A family's home becomesa place of fear, hopelessness, and desperation when a woman isbattered by her partner, a child witnesses the abuse of a lovedone, or a senior is victimized by family members. Since the 1994passage of the landmark Violence Against Women Act, championed by then Senator Joe Biden, our Nation has strengthened its responseto this crime and increased services for victims. Still, far toomany women and families in this country and around the world areaffected by domestic violence. During National Domestic ViolenceAwareness Month, we recommit ourselves to ending violence withinour homes, our communities, and our country.

To effectively respond to domestic violence, we must provideassistance and support that meets the immediate needs of victims.Facing social isolation, victims can find it difficult to protectthemselves and their children. They require safe shelter andhousing, medical care, access to justice, culturally specificservices, and economic opportunity. The Family ViolencePrevention and Services Act supports emergency shelters, crisisintervention programs, and community education about domesticviolence.

In the best of economic times, victims worry about finding ajob and housing, and providing for their children; these problemsonly intensify during periods of financial stress. That is whythe American Recovery and Reinvestment Act provides $325 millionfor the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) and the Victims ofCrime Act (VOCA). This funding will supplement the Federal VAWAand VOCA dollars that flow to communities every year, and enableStates, local governments, tribes, and victim service providersto retain and hire personnel that can serve victims and holdoffenders accountable. These funds will also bring relief tovictims seeking a safe place to live for themselves and their children.

Victims of violence often suffer in silence, not knowingwhere to turn, with little or no guidance and support. Sadly,this tragedy does not just affect adults. Even when childrenare not directly injured by violence, exposure to violence inthe home can contribute to behavioral, social, and emotionalproblems. High school students who report having experiencedphysical violence in a dating relationship are more likely touse drugs and alcohol, are at greater risk of suicide, and maycarry patterns of abuse into future relationships. Our effortsto address domestic violence must include these young victims.

During this month, we rededicate ourselves to breaking thecycle of violence. By providing young people with educationabout healthy relationships, and by changing attitudes thatsupport violence, we recognize that domestic violence can beprevented. We must build the capacity of our Nation's victimservice providers to reach and serve those in need. We urgecommunity leaders to raise awareness and bring attention tothis quiet crisis. And across America, we encourage victims andtheir families to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at1-800-799-SAFE. Together, we must ensure that, in America, novictim of domestic violence ever struggles alone.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of theUnited States of America, by virtue of the authority vestedin me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States,do hereby proclaim October 2009, as National Domestic ViolenceAwareness Month. I ask all Americans to do their part to end domestic violence in this country by supporting their communities' efforts to assist victims in finding the helpand healing they need.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand thisfirst day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand nine,and of the Independence of the United States of America thetwo hundred and thirty-fourth.

BARACK OBAMA

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