Church Sending Wrong Message To Victims of Abuse?

A few days ago a teaching Pastor Tom Holladay who is with Rick Warren's Saddleback Church publicized their views on domestic violence and marriage. It goes on to say the Bible only condones 2 reasons for divorce-adultery and abandonment.

Upon reading this my first thoughts were of Drew Peterson who clearly committed adultery during his 4 marriages and now is claiming that Stacy Peterson abandoned him so he will be seeking a divorce, because he's engaged. My guess is the next press release from his legal team of Marsmallow Roasters will include quotes from the Saddleback Church as sort of a right of passage to marry a fifth time. But first, he will have to have the title of "Suspect" removed from the Will County State's Attorney's office which is not happening anytime soon. Nor is marriage #5 in his future, unless of course it's behind a metal structure.

Back to the point. I respect everyone's opinion, but when a man of God interprets the lives of those who are likely to be killed and basically says to separate or leave, that is dangerous. Those who leave their violent relationships are more likely to be murdered when they leave their abusers. I am talking about women who are threatened with their lives by abusers on a daily basis. And when they leave, we read about on the Internet or with our morning coffee.

Women like my mother, murdered by my father. Or the thousands of others,vanished, murdered, buried, hidden by those who profess to love them. Women must have a clear plan that includes safety minus any guilt from religious organizations when they leave with their lives in one piece.

[Colossians 3:19] says.. 19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Divorce, is a premature terminating of a marriage, always involves sin of some kind, on the part of one and sometimes on the part of both marital partners. Each situation needs to be examined on its own. The two reasons that give a wronged spouse the freedom to declare a marriage over (publicly and legally) after a guilty partner has basically ended the marriage are (1) marital unfaithfulness and (2) malicious desertion. By "malicious" we mean a willful, unilateral, and permanent desertion.

Consider the following scenario: Suppose a husband physically abuses his wife. He has been encouraged to get help for his sinful behavior. Yet nothing changes and he continues to abuse or threaten to murder his wife and children. It may get to the point where she might divorce her husband, but in doing so she is not the one who violated the marriage bond. He did so through his sinful actions. This example does illustrate the biblical principle that when someone has violated the marriage bond through unfaithfulness or malicious desertion, the "innocent" party may obtain a divorce and not be guilty of violating God's guidelines regarding marriage and divorce.

If any man sins against you and beats you, you have no obligation to stay and allow him to continue to sin. So you would obey God and not stay and allow him to sin. You would leave and divorce him.
Here is a synopsis from Saddleback Church: "The Bible does not permit a woman to divorce a spouse who is abusing her."

In audio clips on his Saddleback Church website, the Purpose Driven
Life author says the Bible condones divorce for only two reasons --
adultery and abandonment.

"I wish there were a third in Scripture, having been involved as a
pastor with situations of abuse," Warren said. "There is something in
me that wishes there were a Bible verse that says, 'If they abuse you
in this-and-such kind of way, then you have a right to leave them.'"

Warren said his church's counseling ministry advises separation and
counseling instead of divorce in abusive marriages, because it's the
only path toward healing. "There's an abusive cycle that's been set
up," he said. "Separation combined with counseling has been proven to
provide healing in people's lives."

In the bible, John 3:16 says: for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten so, that whosoever believeth in him shall have ever lasting life. This is the most important verse in the entire bible. If you are a believer, and have accepted Christ into your heart, the kingdom of God awaits you.

And if you are in an abusive relationship, carefully plan, and get out. And remember, God will be with you, always !