Thursday, September 30, 2010


Over 46 years ago Leslie Gore released the smash hit "You Don't Own Me." Back then I am not sure if the young artist understand that her words would have such a profound meaning in 2010, but they do! The song was recorded again for the movie the first wives club released in 1996. The lyrics are important " Don't tell me what to do and don't tell me what to say" and more importanly "you don't own me." For young women dating this is the message that needs to be placed in their heads, sent in emails, and in daily text messaging formats and instant twitter communications: "you don't own me."

Maybe we might save a few in the future from headlines of their own on the news because they were killed by an abusive husband or boyfriend. See, they never got the message. Or they listened and believed the lyrics in a song by a girl your daughters age, idolized by millions, whom came close herself in February of 09 to being carried off in a designer body bag.

Today, your teenagers many are without your knowledge in harmful dating relationships listening to songs like the one Rihanna recently recorded with famed abuser and rap artist eminem the song titled "Love The Way You Lie." They (your teenagers) believe that violence is accceptable, maybe even enjoyable because a woman by the name of Rihanna a victim herself, beaten and bloodied by singer Chris Brown for all the world see, is basically saying come on its not so bad to live in fear or be beaten. What is the worst that can happen? Hey like in their video you will be burned to death by a man who claims he loves you. That is the message the song is sending to your kids. Go ahead, try it. You have nothing to lose but your life.

The lyrics in the song are deadly ..."just gonna stand there and watch me burn- stand there and hear me cry that’s alright because I love the way you lie then the rap artist abuser chimes in and sings "I love you too much to walk away I apolioze if she every tries to f...cking leave again I am going to tie her to the bed and watch her burn." Their video you will just have to go to youtube and watch, I refuse to put a link to it.

(Susan Murphy Milano, is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, and where ever books are sold.)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE that song!!!

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