by: Debra Roberts, Your Full Potential.org
Susan Murphy Milano I became very emotional and began crying. She was discussing domestic violence situations where wives and mothers were being murdered, their children taken away from them and how the ex husband controlled and dominated the women. It triggered something deep within me that I must have buried to survive. Our minds bury or block things because too much trauma at once is debilit ating. It is a coping mechanism for survival. That is what I did and as I heard the show today it brought up memories that need to be reprocessed and dealt with. I recently asked the person who did this if they would go to counseling with me and surprisingly they said they would. I have believed or perhaps needed to believe that the past has been buried, there is complete forgivenss and moving on was the answer and I was finally O.K. That is obviously not the case because triggers brought up the past as though it happened yesterday, which tells me it needs to be truly dealt with.
The fear that I am allowing to control my thoughts right now is the fact that this person will return to the raging person he used to be once in counseling. He says he is not the man he used to be and his actions appear to prove this is the truth, however I am still not sure. This person went through a serious reocurring illness that had a profound impact on them. It was a terminal illness and by the Grace of God they did not die. I believed and still believe that this illness was a gift from God which got the persons attention and was used to change them. However, as I relive some of the trauma in my mind, I truly wonder if it was not buried just like I buried mine? Did the illness become the focus and the abuse get forgotten? Was it ever really dealt with? These are the questions that I need answers to. I know my calling and my purpose is to help educate and empower people who have endured abuse and once I begin speaking out in reference to this, my prayer is that I am free to do this with no retaliation from the person who committed domestic violence against me.
I am still trying to reach my full potential, remember it is a life long process! Today, I became frozen in my tracks as I remembered what I had truly lived through and what I endured. I think I forgot or wanted to forget because it was too painful to remember. It wasn't time to remember it. However, God has chosen this time in my life to deal with this issue so I can help others more effectively. I heard Joyce Meyer once say, "What is buried Alive Never Dies". Obviously the rotting corpse began to stink today to the point that I was forced to look inside and see what was causing the stench. It is time to dig it up and give it a proper burial. With God guiding me and me relying on his Strength, I know I can edure whatever road is before me. I can and will Reach my Full Potential with God. I believe the triggers that caused me to weep today were signs sent from heaven. The signs are meant to slap me in the face so I would wake up and see clearly that it was time to properly deal with it and Truly be Set Free. Jesus came to set us Free and free indeed is what I will be as I depend on God to help me Reach My Full Potential.
"I have learned the secret of being content in any
and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether
living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Phil 4:12-13)
The Susan Murphy Milano Show will be addressing the issue of "Mothers Without Custody" with Janice Levinson from Protective Mothers Alliance due to an overwhelming response from listeners. Please join us Wednesday July 8, 4PM EST, 3PM CST on BlogTalk Radio.
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