Monday, July 6, 2009

The Dangerous Custody Game of Show and Tell

Janet filed for divorce about year ago, from her abusive and controlling husband. He would always attack Janet usually with his fists while the kids were asleep.

In her case because he was in law enforcement, Janet felt strongly that obtaining an order of protection was not an option. She had a false hope and sense of joy and relief once she moved out with her kids. Similar to many women leaving their abusers, feeling as though once the legal tie is cut and they leave with their lives like an empty suitcase, magically everything will be wonderful.

Janet did not consider the children and the potential battle ahead with visitation, safety and custody. Her former husband did not have much interaction with the children, until now, when the game of show and tell is important for the court appointed mental health evaluator and the children’s guardian ad litem to see the loving yet, dangerous father.

Now her husband views himself as an excellent father per the number of support letters sent in to the mental health evaluator by his employer, friends and relatives. Janet scratches her head in disbelief asking why strangers, most of whom she or the children has never met. are sending letters on behalf of her husband’s parenting skills. Letters from people who have only seen a photo of the boys on a desk in a squad room or as it accidently fell out of his wallet at a bar while reaching for cash. “Suddenly this dangerous man whom I am trying to break away from desires and is fighting,” says Janet, for 50/50 custody including being involved in every decision from after school activities to driving the kids to sleepovers. Janet, like so many other women, is discovering this is not a good thing for she or the kids.

Silently, when only she can hear, he leans into her neck and whispers "remember, tell death do us part baby, wise up or the only visits you will receive is the flowers on your tombstone."
Instead of the freedom she anticipated, Janet finds herself still shackled to her abuser permanently. Her abuser is now monitoring and controlling her life through her children with the assistance of professional paid strangers. (This is an example of the 1,500 emails we received from our show on June 24, 2009 to listen just turn up the volume on your computer and it will automatically play on this site)

On Wednesday, July 8, 2009, at 3:00PM Central Standard Time, join us as we discuss the dynamics of Mother’s Abused by Abusers with a helping hand from the legal community with Janice Levinson from Mothers Protective Alliance and Taylor's mother who has been fighting the system as thousands of other mothers for her children.


Anonymous said...

My heart is broken because my husband has taken my children, without ever lifting a hand to any of us! God help those of you that have suffered physical violence. Why is this happening? Even here in Australia...

stopcustodyviolence said...

yes what about the violence that cannot be seen. what about the mind games and control that goes on for years and years. I have never been hurt physically, so it is implied that no abuse is going on. There is no place for me to go get help...I have tried.

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