What's the Problem With Problem Partners?

By Sandra L. Brown, Guest Contributor 

Problem partners create problems which manifest as problem relationships.  These relationships are 

often referred to as 'bad relationships,''drama,' 'dysfunctional' even 'abusive' when in fact, often the

dynamic at play is a result of what I have coined 'Pathological Love Relationships.' People wrongly 

assume that even abusive relationships can be 'fixed.' All abusers are not created equal. Some are

permanently disordered. 

These problem relationships are related to permanent personality structures and disorders. 
Mislabeled, undiagnosed, or misunderstood, these relationships churn out the problems for the partners,

their children, their families, and the therapists who try to help them. Behaviors associated with problem 

partners can include: repeat violence, chronic infidelity, addiction relapsing, unstabilized mental illness,

parasitic lifestyle, abandoning the family/children, chronic use of court and lawsuits, stalking and 

cyber-stalking, attempted homicides. 

Neuroscience has helped us understand some of the brain processes and problems involved in problem 

partners which have disorders referred to as the 'Erratic and Dramatic' disorders.

The partners who are challenged by faulty brain processing and negative behaviors often associated with narcissismand anti-social personality disorders and the group of no conscience disorders of sociopathy and psychopathy which make for some pretty lousy 
relational material. 

This lousy relationship quality I refer to as 'Inevitable Harm' because when someone's brain processes are

hard-wired and they lack the ability to sustain positive changes through therapy or develop insight about 

how their negative behavior hurts others--there's only one way this relationship is going to be---harmful. 

Even the court system now labels these relationships uniquely as 'High Conflict Cases.'

My contribution to Times Up! blog is going to look at Inevitable Harm related to partners who have 

problems bigger than what psychology can do for them. We help others identify if they are in PROBLEM RELATIONSHIPS.


We will look at:

* The traits of those with chronic personality problems that wreak havoc in the relationship
* Look at the unusual pathological love relationship dynamics specific to these disorders
* Take a peek at the neuroscience about what is wrong with their brain
* Learn the elevated temperament or 'super' traits of those who have gotten in relationships with this kind 

   of disorder
* Marvel at the affected language, communication and meaning in these relationships and how it drives

    the other partner crazy
* Understand why these relationships feel more intense than others
* Realize why break ups are hard to do and fraught with 'Boomerang' attraction

Along the way we will review the characteristics in the disorders related to impulsivity, sexual acting out, interpersonal exploitation, low/no empathy, excitement seeking, and conning.

And of course, we'll look at the physical, sexual, and financial harm of these emotionally lethal predators

and parasites. Stay tuned. I look forward to opening your eyes about Pathological Love Relationships!

Sandra L. Brown, M.A. is the Founder and CEO of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education.  

She is the author of several best selling books, including 

How to Spot a Dangerous Man and Why Women Love Psychopaths.

You might also like:

Document The Abuse. com 

www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com 

(Susan is expected to return next week)

. 

Holding My Hand Through Hell the latest book by Violence Prevention Specialist, 

Susan Murphy Milano, is slated for release on October 3, 2012.

To place your *order CLICK HERE

Ice Cube Press 

Based on a true story, told with the flow of a novel, spiced with frank wisdom and wit, Holding My Hand Through Hell
 encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family’s life and is an inspiration to become an advocate for 
change in this world we all share. This book will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope,
survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers both applauding this 
woman as well as wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour. Twenty years later, she has 
realized that God must have been holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to 
save others.

Includes a foreword by Diane Fanning, Edgar nominated award-winning, true crime author.

This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer’s family and one daughter’s quest for justice 
long after'the heart-wrenching murder of her mother. Susan Murphy Milano embraces a legacy of unconditional
 love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.

Website: Holding My Hand Through Hell

Website: Susan Murphy-Milano www.susanmurphy-milano.com

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist

with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals,

 victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing 

prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular 

contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : 

Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! 

a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime

TIME'S UP! "Protect This Woman" Gift Offer

The holidays can bring added stress to an already stressful world, and a family experiencing violence in the home look for protective angels to surround them, to get them through, and to keep them safe.

Two ImaginePublicity angels have come together

with a gift offer for 12 women.

Susan Murphy Milano and Donna Gore "LadyJustice"

have created a special promotion:

12 gifts for 12 special women for

12 days ONLY

The gift special is limited to only the first 12 responses, so it's important to order quickly:

• Order the book, Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship by Susan Murphy Milano on CD. $15
• Receive a FREE "Protect This Woman" necklace, along with a hand written, personalized note from the author, Susan Murphy Milano.

Buy it for yourself, if needed, or buy it for someone you love, either way you are receiving or giving a gift of life and protection. The Time's Up CD ($20 value) contains everything in the book. The CD can be taken to a safe computer and all blank forms can be printed to use when preparing the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit© included in Chapter 4. The Time's Up book is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all online and local book retailers, or can be ordered in EBook format at www.susanmurphymilano.com.

The "Protect This Woman" necklace ($40 value) is a prayer to wear. A hammered sterling silver disc is engraved with "Protect This Woman" and knotted on a black leather cord. A tiny freshwater pearl is a sweet touch. Cord with sterling clasp adjusts 17"-19". If you wish to order the necklace for others on your gift list, they can be ordered from: Signals

Ordering instructions:

• Fill out the form with complete information. All gift purchases will be sent out on Friday, December 16, 2011 in order to reach their destination before Christmas.
• All orders must be paid through PayPal (You do not have to have a PayPal account in order to pay by credit card or debit card) You will be asked to give your information one more time, this insures we have everything correct.
• If you are giving this gift to someone you know in a violent relationship, we recommend you give it to her privately, not with the family present, and be discreet to insure her maximum safety.

$15 for CD copy of Time's Up and "Protect This Woman" necklace.

www.imaginepublicity.com

Court Watch Brevard: Confrontation Clause of the Sixth Amendment

Court Watch Brevard has honored my work by prominently featuring it on their site. I encourage prosecutors, law enforcement and social service agencies to read through the information below in hopes of implementing the prescription for all victims of intimate partner violence and stalking.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit For Victims

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit

by Susan Murphy Milano

An expert in the area of intimate partner violence and the prevention of homicide, Susan has created specific tools and procedures which the abused need to safely leave a violent relationship.

See example of video affidavit

An “Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video has the additional psychological benefit of being forced to face reality and admit that the potential for the ultimate kind of violence exists…and that if it occurs the perpetrator will be held accountable.

Domestic violence or intimate partner victims now are able to provide information, in their own words, about the fears, dangers, experiences they have had at the hands of their abuser. The" Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" or "EAA" records victim's stories, histories, and experiences which are preserved and stored on their behalf. These videos will provide answers to the many questions, allegations, and fears that arise when a person has disappeared, gone missing, or been found dead.

Recent cases, such as missing mother Susan Powell of Utah, Renee Pernice of Kansas, Kelly Rothwell of Florida, Jacque Waller of Missouri and women like Stacy Peterson, where the victim’s police officer husband is the person of interest, is the classic example of the benefits of this type of evidence. If Stacy Peterson, or any woman found murdered or is missing, had done an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, ON TAPE, from following the information in the “Time’s Up" book ,they would be able to describe: threats made against her life or wellbeing, including details of how the perpetrator would carry out the threat
incidents of past abuse that the victim has endured admissions or comments made to her about other victims or people abused where evidence or weapons would or could be located possible alibis that the perpetrator would make up in his defense (including identification of people who could be co-defendant’s or co-suspects) portray visible injuries or marks

Read more here

Purchase Susan Murphy Milano books on escaping domestic violence safely here

_________________________________________________________________________________

FOR STUDENTS

Case concerning the right to confront and prove intent to prevent the witness from testifying

Giles v. California, 554 U.S. 353 (2008)

Facts of the Case
When Dwayne Giles was tried in state court for the murder of his ex- girlfriend, he claimed self-defense. Giles stated that he had heard her vow to hurt him and a friend, and that she had previously shot a man and threatened people with knives. The prosecution then introduced evidence of a conversation between Giles' ex-girlfriend and police in which she claimed that he had assaulted her and threatened to kill her. The district court eventually convicted Giles of murder.

On appeal, Giles argued that use of the police conversation violated his Sixth Amendment right to confront witnesses against him, namely, his deceased ex- girlfriend.

The California Supreme Court held that Giles had waived this right because he was the cause of his ex-girlfriend's absence. Although this exclusion was justified under common law rules of "forfeiture by wrongdoing", the Supreme Court had greatly constrained the admissibility of such evidence in its 2004 holding in Crawford v. Washington. Crawford essentially wiped out the admissibility of such out-of-court statements unless the testimony could be subject to cross-examination at trial, an option that would be impossible under these circumstances. This case gives the Court an opportunity to expand on its decision in Crawford and to apply it to a situation where the wrongdoing that kept the witness from appearing in court was not motivated by a desire to prevent the witness' testimony.

Question
Are a criminal defendant's rights under the Confrontation Clause of the Sixth Amendment violated when the common law "forfeiture by wrongdoing" doctrine is applied to allow out-of-court statements made by a witness, absent due to the defendant's own conduct, into evidence without giving defendant an opportunity to cross-examine the absent witness?

Conclusion
Yes. In a 6-3 decision, the Court held that the forfeiture by wrongdoing exception only applies to situations where the defendant causes the witness' absence with the intention of preventing that witness from testifying at trial. Without this intention, any act by the defendant making the witness unavailable does not waive that defendant's Sixth Amendment right to confront and cross-examine the witness, and therefore any out-of-court statements made by the witness are inadmissible as evidence. Justice Antonin Scalia delivered the opinion of the Court.

Justice Clarence Thomas wrote a concurring opinion stressing his belief that statements such as those made by the witness in this case should not implicate the Confrontation Clause at all because the police questioning was not a "formalized dialogue." Justice Samuel Alito also wrote a concurring opinion suggesting that the witness' statements, in his view, did not fall within the Confrontation Clause but noting that neither party had made this argument before the Court. Justice David Souter, joined by Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, concurred in all parts of the majority opinion except one section denouncing the dissenting argument. Justice Souter stated that he did not find the dissent as wrongheaded as the majority suggested.

The dissent, written by Justice Stephen Breyer and joined by Justices John Paul Stevens and Anthony Kennedy, argued that a defendant loses his right to confrontation when he makes a witness unavailable due to his own wrongdoing, even if he did not act with the specific intention of preventing her from testifying at trial.

About CWB and UCF NEWS
CONTACT TO VOLUNTEER WITH COURT WATCH BREVARD
HONORED JUDGES
OFFICE OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
Mandatory Reporters and Jerry Sandusky Indictment PDF
FDLE SEXUAL PREDATOR TRACKING IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
Students
Courts
Victims
CHILD ABUSE
LETTER TO JUDGES
A FEW GOOD MEN
ATTORNEYS: REPRESENTING VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENC AND THEIR CHILDREN IN COURT
COURT REFORM NEWS
Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit For Victims
FORMS FILE COMPLAINT AGAINST COURT PERSONNEL
JUDGES DUPED ... WHO IS TO BLAME?
National Domestic Violence Legal News and Events
PARENTAL ALIENATION ABUSER SCAM DEFENSE - LEGAL ISSUES
PETITION TO CONGRESS
THE DANGER OF RELYING ON FORENSIC PSYCHOLOGISTS IN CUSTODY EVALUATIONS
U.S.A. FAILING ITS LEGAL OBLIGATION TO PROTECT WOMEN FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE
The Stephanie Haridopolis Story - Fairy Tales Do Come True


What is Court Watch Brevard?

Court Watch Brevard is a domestic violence gender bias education and awareness program for students, the community, and for judges. We observe and evaluate the criminal and civil justice processes, involving cases of domestic violence in Brevard County, Florida and the United States.

Through the use of volunteers, the program monitors compliance with domestic violence statutes and provides a forum for feedback to facilitate system change.

Court Watch Brevard educates and reminds the community that the public has a right to be involved and informed about what happens in the local courts and enables the public to create a more informed and involved justice system.

The program helps keep victims safe, holds offenders accountable for their actions, and facilitates a coordinated community response toward the greater goal of ending domestic violence.

Purpose

Court Watch Brevard™s purpose is to empower communities to have an active volunteer presence in our local courts, to monitor court policies, procedures, and practices regarding domestic violence cases.

Mission

CourtWatch Brevard™s mission is to provide an impartial assessment of the effectiveness with which domestic violence cases are handled in our local courts and report to the public, in an effort to promote victim safety and abuser accountability.

"Relationship Safety"- From The Experts: Today at 11:00 AM EST on the Zeus Radio Network

On The Here Women Talk Radio Network, Sandra Brown, M.A., Author of "How To Spot A Dangerous Man" and Women Who Love Psychopaths, and Susan Murphy Milano Author of "Time's Up" and Moving Out Moving On," will be guests today at 11:00 AM EST, on the Vicki Childs-P.I. Answers show.

Susan Murphy Milano recently joined Sandra Brown, M.A. and the Institiute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as their Strategist for High Conflict Divorce & Custody Cases and Intimate Partner Violence Expert. After the show please visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ where you can sign up for the newsletter and read the latest news and important resources for your life offered by Institite. Both Susan and Sandra are also regular contributors to the "Times Up Blog " for survivors of violent crime.

Direct Link to the Show (Click here)
Date: Thursday, September 16, 2010

Time: 11:00 A.M. EST and 10:00 A.M. CST

Chat-in or Call (646) 652-2071

(Susan Murphy Milano, is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and where ever books are sold.)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

How To Spot A Dangerous Man: The Susan Murphy Milano Show- August 11, 2010 at 4:00 PM EST

Today's guest Sandra L. Brown, M.A., CEO of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education is a psychopathologist, program development specialist, lecturer, and an award-winning author. Her books include the award winning Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists as well as How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved, and Counseling Victims of Violence: A Handbook for Helping Professionals.

Sandra is recognized for her pioneering work on women’s issues related to relational harm . She specializes in the development of Pathological Love Relationship clinical training and survivor support services. Her books, CD’s, DVD’s, and other training materials have been used as curriculum in drug rehabs, women’s organizations and shelters, women’s jail and prison programs, school and college-based programs, inner city projects, and various psychology and sociology programs and distributed in almost every country of the world.

To listen to the show live for Wednesday August 11, 2010, and participate in the chat room, the direct link for the show is HERE

We will take your call live. The number to call in with questions or comments is:

The number is 347-326-9337