Tuesday, May 8, 2012

What's the Problem With Problem Partners?

By Sandra L. Brown, Guest Contributor 

Problem partners create problems which manifest as problem relationships These relationships are 
often referred to as 'bad relationships,''drama,' 'dysfunctional' even 'abusive' when in fact, often the
dynamic at play is a result of what I have coined 'Pathological Love Relationships.' People wrongly 
assume that even abusive relationships can be 'fixed.' All abusers are not created equal. Some are
permanently disordered. 

These problem relationships are related to permanent personality structures and disorders. 
Mislabeled, undiagnosed, or misunderstood, these relationships churn out the problems for the partners,
their children, their families, and the therapists who try to help them. Behaviors associated with problem 
partners can include: repeat violence, chronic infidelity, addiction relapsing, unstabilized mental illness,
parasitic lifestyle, abandoning the family/children, chronic use of court and lawsuits, stalking and 
cyber-stalking, attempted homicides. 

Neuroscience has helped us understand some of the brain processes and problems involved in problem 
partners which have disorders referred to as the 'Erratic and Dramatic' disorders.

The partners who are challenged by faulty brain processing and negative behaviors often associated with narcissismand anti-social personality disorders and the group of no conscience disorders of sociopathy and psychopathy which make for some pretty lousy 
relational material. 

This lousy relationship quality I refer to as 'Inevitable Harm' because when someone's brain processes are
hard-wired and they lack the ability to sustain positive changes through therapy or develop insight about 
how their negative behavior hurts others--there's only one way this relationship is going to be---harmful. 
Even the court system now labels these relationships uniquely as 'High Conflict Cases.'

My contribution to Times Up! blog is going to look at Inevitable Harm related to partners who have 
problems bigger than what psychology can do for them. We help others identify if they are in PROBLEM RELATIONSHIPS.

We will look at:

* The traits of those with chronic personality problems that wreak havoc in the relationship
* Look at the unusual pathological love relationship dynamics specific to these disorders
* Take a peek at the neuroscience about what is wrong with their brain
* Learn the elevated temperament or 'super' traits of those who have gotten in relationships with this kind 
   of disorder
* Marvel at the affected language, communication and meaning in these relationships and how it drives
    the other partner crazy
* Understand why these relationships feel more intense than others
* Realize why break ups are hard to do and fraught with 'Boomerang' attraction

Along the way we will review the characteristics in the disorders related to impulsivity, sexual acting out, interpersonal exploitation, low/no empathy, excitement seeking, and conning.

And of course, we'll look at the physical, sexual, and financial harm of these emotionally lethal predators
and parasites. Stay tuned. I look forward to opening your eyes about Pathological Love Relationships!

Sandra L. Brown, M.A. is the Founder and CEO of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education.  
She is the author of several best selling books, including 
How to Spot a Dangerous Man and Why Women Love Psychopaths.
You might also like:

(Susan is expected to return next week)

Holding My Hand Through Hell

Holding My Hand Through Hell the latest book by Violence Prevention Specialist, 

Susan Murphy Milano, is slated for release on October 3, 2012.

To place your *order CLICK HERE

Based on a true story, told with the flow of a novel, spiced with frank wisdom and wit, Holding My Hand Through Hell
 encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family’s life and is an inspiration to become an advocate for 
change in this world we all share. This book will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope,
survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers both applauding this 
woman as well as wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour. Twenty years later, she has 
realized that God must have been holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to 
save others.
Includes a foreword by Diane Fanning, Edgar nominated award-winning, true crime author.
This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer’s family and one daughter’s quest for justice 
long after'the heart-wrenching murder of her mother. Susan Murphy Milano embraces a legacy of unconditional
 love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.
Website: Susan Murphy-Milano www.susanmurphy-milano.com
Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist
with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals,
 victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing 
prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular 
contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : 
Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! 
a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime

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