Ignorance is the Leading Cause of Murder in Intimate Partner Violence

I receive quite a few private emails blasting me for writing the truth after a victim is found dead or murdered and the boyfriend or husband ends their lives in suicide.  People that write or leave comments appearing on the blog, often defending the actions of a killer, is out of pure ignorance of the nature of the crime.  Making excuses such as mental illness, they served in the military, grew up in an abusive household, post traumatic stress syndrome, to a drug and alcoholic problems, the list of excuses is endless.

The mindset of the general public seemingly looks everywhere around a tragedy, except the obvious.  If a man or a woman murders someone with whom they had or have a relationship, it is calculated and premeditated from a state of escalation.  But, to those who profess to know the killers of intimate partner homicide, the reactions to the crime are not realistic from my viewpoint.  Having a bad day, saying the individual was driven to do it, or there is so much chaos in that persons' life is often a justification for the criminal act by those who knew them.  When you make these types of remarks you are defending a cold blooded murderer, whether it be your friend or family member. I do not intend to demean your grief or loss, only to put the crime, and the criminal, in the proper perspective.

Calling out someone, such as myself, tearing them down personally for trying to keep victims and their families alive, is a crime in and of itself.  The pattern of conduct by my police officer father, likely from the moment I came into the world, is no different than those I write about each day.  My father's pattern of conduct was the predictor to her murder and his suicide.  Unless you live behind the walls of daily terror and the unknown, you haven't a clue what it's like to know if you will wake up the following morning.  Intimate partner homicide took away the lives of not only my parents, but my brother, kid sister and me.

Writing about those victims who did not reach out to someone such as myself in time, who did not know to read the information prescribed in the book Time's Up, or were unable to prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, is my way to shout to the world that the victims mattered, even in their untimely deaths. My hope is the world will stop closing it's eyes  when innocent children like Charlie and Braden Powell die, whose mother Susan Cox is still missing, and be forced to watch that no more children are blown up out of rage from this world into the next.


I have lost everything to the epidemic of intimate partner violence. Personally, I have nothing left to lose by calling out the bloody truth.

When you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem. So, instead of chastising my writing, make it part of your life to prevent the next incident of homicide in your own backyard.


Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime. Her new book Holding My Hand Through Hell published by Ice Cube Press will be in book stores in September.

Susan Murphy-Milano outraged at judge’s decision to return twins to ex-fiancé

Michelle Parker, 33, missing from Orlando, FL with her two young children

Credits:

Bay News 9

ORLANDO, Florida (Isabelle Zehnder reporting) -- Intimate Partner Violence Specialist Susan Murphy-Milano was outraged when she learned a judge ruled Wednesday that missing Florida mom Michelle Parker's 3-year-old twins would be returned to her ex-fiancé who is the primary suspect in Michelle's disappearance, and who has a long criminal history including domestic violence.

The situation with the children appeared to be moving in the right direction when the Florida Department of Children and Families took temporary custody of the twins away from their father, Dale Wayne Smith II Tuesday night.

But in a shocking twist the judge, who heard the case Wednesday morning, denied the State’s request to place the children into the custody of Michelle’s family.

Michelle and her three children had been living with Michelle’s family for the past three years – this is home for these children. HLN’s Nancy Grace shared Murphy-Milano's outrage Thursday evening saying, “Michelle’s 11-year-old son [from a previous relationship] said Smith hit mommy in front of all three kids. Why would a judge hand the kids back to the bio dad knowing this?” she asked.

“I don’t see the imminent risk,” Judge Thomas W. Turner said Wednesday. “I don’t think incidents that happened years ago constitute a pattern.”

“Dale Smith’s the primary suspect in Michelle’s case, for God’s sake,” Murphy-Milano said. “A 12-member SWAT team swarmed his house on Saturday.”

"Why isn't Smith's health and mental fitness being evaluated to determine if he's stable enough to be in charge of these kids? When issues come up in divorce or other child custody matters, a guardian ad litem is appointed to the children and the parents are mandated to go through mediation and a court-appointed mental health evaluator," Murphy-Milano said.

"In Wednesday's court hearing the judge, at the minimum, should have had the head of the SWAT team unit that entered the premises of Dale Smith, Sr., testify as to why the situation warranted such extreme measures while serving a search warrant," she added.

Twelve SWAT team officers in two armored trucks who were fully armed and loaded using their trained, skilled, tactical maneuvers in high-risk and life-threatening situations, descended on Smith's parents' residence on Rose Boulevard Saturday evening. It has been reported that Smith and the 3-year-old twins have been living in the Rose Blvd. home since Michelle went missing.

"How healthy is that for the kids?" Murphy-Milano asked. "Were the children in the home at the time? The officers knocked on the door and when no one answered they broke down the door, stormed into the home, and initiated the use of pepper spray. That tells me they had good reason to serve and execute the search warrant," she said.

"There's also the issue of his then-wife, Shannon Collins-Smith, who, according to an Orlando Sentinel obituary, died in April 2001 at the age of 26 from a brain injury. There were recent reports that she overdosed and hit her head. It's interesting that in 2001 Smith was court martialed on charges of drug possession and domestic battery," Murphy Milano said.

Shannon, who was listed as living at the Rose Boulevard home in Orlando, worked as a personal trainer at the Orlando Regional Wellness Center. Born in Springfield, Mass., she moved to Central Florida in 2000. Her body was given to science and later cremated.

Unfortunately Smith has a hidden criminal history during the years he was in the military, which is also during the time when Shannon died.

Under normal circumstances a person's criminal history is public record. One exception is a person who commits crimes while he or she was in the military because the public does not have access to those records. In this case, a media source secured the information that Smith had been court martialed and provided at least some of his charges.

During a People’s Court episode that was filmed last summer, and aired the morning Michelle went missing, Michelle called her relationship with Smith “poison” and said she was done.

Two years before the show aired, Michelle sought but was not granted a restraining order against Smith citing he’d thrown their children’s car seats on the ground, smashed out her passenger –side window, cussed at her while she was holding her then 15-month-old daughter, and yelled, “Your day is coming.”

It is unknown why a judge would not grant a restraining order under such conditions when others are granted on lesser claims.

Orlando Police say Smith is the prime suspect in Michelle’s disappearance. “Police hardly ever name someone a suspect in a missing persons’ case which speaks volumes,” Murphy-Milano said, “meaning they know a lot more than they’re saying.

”In addition Smith, 40, has a long history of felony and misdemeanor charges of criminal burglary, trespassing school grounds and refusing to leave, drugs, aggravated battery, and his involvement in a murder case in 1992.

Smith was arrested after he and six others attacked two young men, killing one. Smith spent six months in jail for kicking the victim, a 22-year-old lifeguard, in an attack that news reports show was unprovoked by the victims.

Smith may be facing additional criminal charges following another unprovoked attack Thursday, this time a news cameraman. As Smith approached the courthouse steps he shoved the reporter who was standing on the sidewalk doing his job. The cameraman said he suffered cuts, scrapes, and bruises from the attack and may file charges against Smith.

Smith joined the US Marines in 1996 and was dishonorably discharged in 2003. As noted above, one of his wives, 26-year-old fitness instructor Shannon Collins-Smith, died of a brain injury the same year Smith was court martialed in the service on charges of drug possession and domestic battery.

"Where is the guardian ad litem for these children? The judge is negligent in his duties in not appointing one as it relates to the well-being of these two young children," Murphy-Milano said.

Michelle's disappearance

Michelle Parker, 33, went missing Thur., Nov. 17, 2011. Her Hummer was seen on surveillance video at 3:18 p.m. in an east Orange County neighborhood, driving to her ex-fiancé, Dale Wayne Smith II’s home to drop off their 3-year-old twins. He is the last know person to have seen her.

Michelle is described as a white female with short brown hair. She is 5’6” tall and was last seen wearing blue jeans, a Florida Gator’s zip-up hoodie, and a silver cross necklace.

Several hours before Michelle arrived at Dale’s house, the two had appeared in a previously taped episode of The People’s Court. The show centered on who would be responsible to pay for a $5,000 engagement ring that Michelle admittedly threw at Dale at a hotel, and that went over a balcony.

According to a Facebook page created to provide updates and support in Michelle’s case, she was officially last seen around 4 p.m. at the intersection of Goldenrod and Leevista in the Carter Glen Townhomes near Orlando Florida. Her last text was at 4:26 p.m. on Nov. 17, and said “Waterford.” The text was in response to her brother asking what she was up to.

By 8 p.m. Michelle’s iPhone pinged in the area of Oakridge Road near Belle Isle, more than seven miles from where she was last seen. Her phone was powered down in that area and has not been recovered.

The next day police found her black H3 Hummer license plate AWG-M26 in the parking lot of Walden Palms Apartments, 4700 Walden Circle, The Orlando Sentinel reports. Decals for her Glow mobile-tanning business had been removed from the windows. From there the trail went cold.

A $5,000 reward is being offered in the case.

Police are urging anyone with information about the case to call Crimeline at 1-800-423-8477.

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Michelle Parker Case: Requires Our Attention

Police Search Home in Michelle Parker's Disappearance: MyFoxORLANDO.com

Over the weekend in Orlando, FL, the residence of Dale's Smith, former fiance' of Michelle Parker, 33 who suddenly vanished, without a trace on November 17, 2011, was visited by a SWAT team. Finally, Dale Smith has been officially named the only person of interest in the vanishing of Michelle.

As in the majority of missing persons cases that involve prior incidents and allegations of abuse, the offenders pretend to cooperate with authorities when in actuality they are buying time, disarming police in hopes their tracks are fully covered. Dale Smith was the last person to see Michelle Parker alive. And no surprise, Smith not only has refused a polygraph, he has secured legal counsel.

But, according to sources law enforcement named him as a suspect because of what has already been uncovered which is not being released to the media. Smith not taking a polygraph has nothing to do with his new "public status" as suspect.

Now if we can get our public eyes for a moment off of Smith, whom in my opinion, is likely to be charged in this case and onto to Michelle Parker. The family now needs the public's assistance in passing out information and posting flyer's. Please get the information on your social networks. Visit the face page link set up by the family http://www.facebook.com/michelleparkermissingperson and if you live in the area have your local community groups and churches assist where directed by the Parker family.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writesproviding commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.