Ignorance is the Leading Cause of Murder in Intimate Partner Violence

I receive quite a few private emails blasting me for writing the truth after a victim is found dead or murdered and the boyfriend or husband ends their lives in suicide.  People that write or leave comments appearing on the blog, often defending the actions of a killer, is out of pure ignorance of the nature of the crime.  Making excuses such as mental illness, they served in the military, grew up in an abusive household, post traumatic stress syndrome, to a drug and alcoholic problems, the list of excuses is endless.

The mindset of the general public seemingly looks everywhere around a tragedy, except the obvious.  If a man or a woman murders someone with whom they had or have a relationship, it is calculated and premeditated from a state of escalation.  But, to those who profess to know the killers of intimate partner homicide, the reactions to the crime are not realistic from my viewpoint.  Having a bad day, saying the individual was driven to do it, or there is so much chaos in that persons' life is often a justification for the criminal act by those who knew them.  When you make these types of remarks you are defending a cold blooded murderer, whether it be your friend or family member. I do not intend to demean your grief or loss, only to put the crime, and the criminal, in the proper perspective.

Calling out someone, such as myself, tearing them down personally for trying to keep victims and their families alive, is a crime in and of itself.  The pattern of conduct by my police officer father, likely from the moment I came into the world, is no different than those I write about each day.  My father's pattern of conduct was the predictor to her murder and his suicide.  Unless you live behind the walls of daily terror and the unknown, you haven't a clue what it's like to know if you will wake up the following morning.  Intimate partner homicide took away the lives of not only my parents, but my brother, kid sister and me.

Writing about those victims who did not reach out to someone such as myself in time, who did not know to read the information prescribed in the book Time's Up, or were unable to prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, is my way to shout to the world that the victims mattered, even in their untimely deaths. My hope is the world will stop closing it's eyes  when innocent children like Charlie and Braden Powell die, whose mother Susan Cox is still missing, and be forced to watch that no more children are blown up out of rage from this world into the next.


I have lost everything to the epidemic of intimate partner violence. Personally, I have nothing left to lose by calling out the bloody truth.

When you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem. So, instead of chastising my writing, make it part of your life to prevent the next incident of homicide in your own backyard.


Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime. Her new book Holding My Hand Through Hell published by Ice Cube Press will be in book stores in September.

The Facts Do Not Change Katie Nagel of Napoleon, Ohio was Murdered

Yesterday my post on Forbes Crime, She Writes about the murder of 19 year old Katie Nagel from Napoleon, Ohio (Words Can Lead to Murder) caused quite a stir in the comment section and on Facebook pages. I thought it would be better to address the comments here instead of trying to catch them all over the place.

23 years ago on the exact same day that Katie Nagel’s life was taken, my own mother was murdered by someone that no one could believe would do such a horrendous thing.  I understand this case only too well. A seemingly loving partner killing the one they profess to love happens day after day and the cemeteries are full. No one wants to believe it and they lash out in anger and frustration.  Believe me, I’m used to it!

Although I won’t name sources, rest assured that I would never put my words on the internet if they weren’t backed up by facts. The facts don’t change, not in this case, nor any others.  Whether the justice system and the media uses those facts in the proper context is another story.

The article was not written in an accusatory fashion, only reporting on what I had learned, and seen firsthand about the case.  I’m accused of being sensationalist using “hyperbole and speculation,” as well as knowing nothing because I’m from South Carolina? Just so ya know, I’m from Chicago!...check your facts, dude!

Yes, I know that we are all INNOCENT until proven GUILTY in a court of law, and nowhere in this article did I state that Mikey Peddicord was convicted of murder, only that he confessed to stabbing Katie Nagel in his own home and called 911 to report it.  While Facebook contains a lot of trash talk, there are nuggets to be gleaned in solving cases, and reporting, but I’m not claiming to be a journalist, a lawyer, nor a member of law enforcement.

If those commenting negatively, and those who have emailed me privately, knew beforehand that I have been working with victims like Katie Nagel for over 20 years, have written three books, and blog regularly about such cases, they may be leaving different comments.  Obviously, many still do not understand the issue of intimate partner violence or they would understand a lot of information about the conduct of abusers comes from firsthand knowledge working with those in violent relationships.

It’s interesting also that a lot of these comments are calling me out personally, as well as what I’ve written, but I haven’t seen much in the way of comments offering kind words honoring Katie or her family and friends.

So, all of that being said, my fervent prayers are with the family and friends of both Katie Nagel and Mikey Peddicord.  This is a great loss to each of their families and a whole community which is feeling the ripple effect of this crime, and it will take some time before the wounds start to heal. After the chaos and grief of this tragedy settles, please reach out and do something in Katie’s name to educate other young people about the very real problem of violence in relationships.  Bring it out into the open; get serious about treating violence as a crime and not just some little tiff between two people.  Help advocates and specialists like me and become active in doing something to prevent this from happening to the next Katie Nagel in Napoleon, Ohio

Below is the Story Link on Katie Nagel.

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Crime, She Writes

BREAKING DOWN THE HEADLINES

http://www.forbes.com/sites/crime/2012/01/18/words-can-lead-to-murder/