Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Silenced! Stacie DeSantis-Dorego

Last week in Rhode Island, Stacie DeSantis-Dorego, 39 years of age, lost her life to intimate partner homicide.  The details of her murder are too gruesome, even for me to describe.  There was a court order of protection and the former boyfriend has been arrested, charged in her murder.

On January 22, 2012, Johnston Firefighters from IAFF Local 1950 responded to a fire call for help that came too late for Stacie, but not for her surviving children ages 3 & 5.  The firefighters are collecting donations for the care of the children and the information is below on how you can help.

You can also help by spreading the word on the Document The Abuse site.  Had Stacie completed this process of documentation witnessed, notarized  and video, her words would have importance in the criminal case of the person who murdered her.  In memory of Stacie why not consider sponsoring an event, training or books for those, like Stacie, living in fear and silence?  

As the daughter of an intimate partner homicide victim, you can help me, help others, by lending your voice and turning into action.  Time's Up!  Let's End the silence together!

In her own words she writes:

"I write short stories and quotes about life..Our Victories,Our mistakes and everything in between...For the first time I am trying to write about MyLife...That is going to take a while...A mom of 3 children,Mackenzie 14yrs. old,Jake 5yrs old and Lily 3yrs old..Sense Of Humor is so important to me,I Love to Laugh,at the end of the day no matter what that day brought my way laughter was my Valuum..Until recently when my life turned upside down, life's struggles came at me all at once...It's been 9 yrs since my nightmare began and still can not find Stacie...My Personality,My Independence,My Strength and my tool to get threw sense of humor..Gone..Now I am trying to find it,so far the journey has been unsuccessful...I have faith that I will turn up somehow. "

Johnston Firefighters, IAFF Local 1950 

Donations now being accepted for Lily and Jake
The horrific events that occurred on Sunday, January 22, 2012 in Johnston have left two children, ages 3 and 5 without a mother. These events also left our community reeling in disbelief. Johnston Firefighters, wanting to help the family, contacted Cara Mallozzi, a neighbor of the victim who initially reached out to help the children as well as the relatives who are presently caring for them. Cara initially requested clothes for the children; however, she has received an overwhelming response from the community. Currently, the family has informed us that they could use gift cards to Target, Stop & Shop and Walmart. Monetary donations are encouraged and can be made payable toThe Lily and Jake Fund. In response to the tremendous outpouring of support that members of the community have already shown, the Johnston Fire Department has made the Headquarters Station available as a drop off location for donations/gifts. Those wishing to contribute can use the address listed below to drop off or mail donations. This website will update as ongoing contact between the family, community and fire department occur.

The following is a statement from the family of Stacie DeSantis-Dorego:
The family of Stacie DeSantis-Dorego are overcome with the kindness and generosity of the people of Rhode Island. Out of this unfathomable tragedy have emerged angels. Happily we have our niece and nephew with us; however we cannot even begin to imagine what all their needs will be. What we do know is that the support and gifts you are offering will make a difference.
Donations of gifts cards will be used to purchase items that will meet the children's immediate needs. For example cards to Stop & Shop, Dave's, and Shaw's would be helpful in meeting their nutritional needs. In addition, gift cards to Walmart, Target and other major chains will enable us to purchase items for their other needs. Gift cards can be dropped off at the Johnston Fire Department Headquarters.
Many of you have offered to give monetary donations. Please forward all donations to the Johnston Fire Department, c/o The Lily and Jake Fund
The love and support of people like you are what is helping us getting through the challenges we are facing each day. It is really important to us that we know who you are. Please include your contact information so that we may thank you.
With gratitude,
The DeSantis Family

If you wish to help, Please drop off or mail donations to:
Johnston Fire Department
c/o The Lily and Jake Fund
1520 Atwood Avenue
Johnston, RI 02919
Or Click below to donate using a credit card


Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime


Donna R. Gore said...

Thank you so much for featuring this Susan! I am still reeling that this could happen in such close proximity to the professionals who could have assisted..."if only" she been truthful with herself and others!

Just as importantly, we who participate in various websites cannot exist as silos,... We must take the time to share and know the "unspoken signs." We will follow up on this on the "Shattered Lives" radio show in April.


Donna - Ladyjustice

Kay Van Hoesen said...

Thanks for posting, Susan.

RNAdams2 said...

I am stunned.

I was in the process of getting to know Stacie--as well as one can via Twitter and her blog. I was just thinking about her recently and how I hadn't heard anything from her lately.

The Stacie I was acquainted with was a sensitive, talented, lovely young woman who was, from what I knew of her, fighting to stand strong for herself and her children. She had hinted at a rough past, but hadn't elaborated.

I'm going to miss her wise and inspiring outlook on life.

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