Stacy Peterson: Life Interrupted

"My mother finally had the courage to leave her violent, dangerous abusive police detective husband in 1988. Then in January of 1989, after they divorced, as my father continued to stalk and harass her, his final act of control as in many abusive relationships was to take her life and then kill himself. His theme song "If I can't have you no one will, don't test me on this cause you will die."

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In the marriage of Drew and Stacy Peterson, she faced the same life threatening situation not only as a victim of abuse, but as the wife of a law enforcement officer, and she knew it. What she did not know was that Drew Peterson, in my opinion, would kill again. She believed Peterson loved her enough and because of her secret about Peterson, would not harm a hair on her head.

If was Drew Peterson was stupid enough to do anything to Stacy Peterson the truth about his former wife Kathy Savio would be her insurance policy for staying alive. That was her only mistake. The ace in her hand, if you will, that Stacy held, was not strong enough and what she knew for a fact about Kathleen Savio's murder would vanish with her on October 27, 2007. Like Stacy and Kathleen, documenting and capturing facts of the abuse that ultimately lead to both of these women being killed, would have been sustained them beyond the grave. The key for other women to remain alive is provided and spelled out step-by-step in the book “Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships.” Offenders of intimate partner homicide, similar to Drew Peterson, would have been arrested by authorities, without as much as a blink because their words would be captured similar to a leaving will followed by a video, beyond the grave. Removing the so called “hearsay” conversations that most victims have with friends and family when the abuse or threats to their lives increases and they always tell someone before they vanish or are killed “if something happens to me, please know he did it.”

In the world of Drew Peterson, ever cocky and confident in his plan, he made certain that no one would figure he would have had anything to do with the disappearance of Stacy Peterson. After all, look at her family background. She grew up in a less than perfect home, as did many of us. She dreamed of a better life with the first person who showed her kindness and affection. That is appealing to anyone who was read fairy tale stories as a child, wishing their life, would begin, with a prince taking her away from everything that was unpleasant and evil.

As most victims of intimate partner violence, Stacy Peterson grew, over time, into a strong confident woman. When the abuse was no longer acceptable, she looked at her two young children, possibly thinking back on her own life and decided to make changes that did not include abuse, control and violence. She made plans to move forward, to not repeat the cycle of violence. For that, she is to be commended.

Although her remains have yet to be recovered, her life is important for other victims living in fear at this very moment. I would like to think that on angels wings Stacy Peterson brought me into her world in some way. The initial meeting after her death I would have with Pastor Neil Schori with whom she met in Naperville, IL and the partnership he, the church and I would form to stop the senseless killing of women involved in dangerous relationships across the county.

Now, 3 years have passed and no answers on where the remains of Stacy Peterson are buried. The answers, in my opinion, are in her actions while she was still alive, just as they were for Kathleen Savio, Roberta Murphy and others.

If each of these women were on a stage right now taking to you they would tell you “ when you do what you have always done, the outcome is the same. Look in the mirror at yourself, what do you see?”  What are you going to do about ending the abuse?  And although my mother, after 28 years had a taste of freedom out of the toxic and abusive environment, she would conclude her remarks to each of us and say "Time's Up." !

[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/  She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.  Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth  http://www.therothshow.com/) ]