Friday, November 6, 2009

Preventing a Rape: Yours!


A few months ago a group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair . Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing.. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5: 00a.m. and 8:30a.m.5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store p arking lots. The number two: office parking lots/garages.. Number three: public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their handsKeys are NOT a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it?, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it is so cold out here,' 'We're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the Arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble

a.) Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body If you are close enough to use it, do!

b.) Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans : If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

c.) If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

d.) Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.d.If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

e.) A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage)

f.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

g.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

h.) ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

i.) If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!i. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.j. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.

While I do not agree with some of the information that I found in this post on the Internet, the purpose is to grab your attention and get you thinking about your own personal safety. Post this in the lunchroom where you work or in the center where your child attends daycare, your place of worship and in your community and on Internet blogs.

Also consider taking self defense classes from certified professionals in your area.

7 comments:

Eyes said...

Great stuff! We always need a reminder. I think in situations like this, it is best to trust your gut instincts.

Lisa Marie Michels said...

This is an EXCELLENT list for ALL women to keep as a "checklist" in their home. What caught my attention & kept me reading was #1 - hairstyle. I would have never thought...plus I tend to wear a ponytail a few times a week. The entire list was educational and not what I have learned to date. I was attacked at the age of 17 on a Key West beach. After reading this list I believe the only thing that kept me alive was the fact that I fought, screamed, punched, kicked - I was determined that he was going to have to kill me because there was no way he was going to take me alive. This is honestly the best educational article on "How to Protect yourself from rape". Thank you!

kate said...

So This is doing the rounds again?So called advise going round that tells us 'How to protect ourselves!
BUT... Read it closely and you will see the flaws and impossible things it states, such as...

A) You'll be a potential victim if you have long hair and wear it as a pony tail, so short haired women don't get raped?? RUBBISH..

B) Clothing.. they look for easy to remove clothes, but carry scissors to remove them?

C) Being distracted, i.e on the phone, searching in your bag etc.. that one is obvious to us all.. and probably correct..

D) Between 5am and 8.30am how many of us are actually awake and out at that time, unless we've been on a night shift. Rape happens at all times of the day morning noon and night... so time is of no consequence really..

E) Location.. parking lots/ public rest rooms?? Most women get attacked in parks or back streets.. its pretty much anywhere..

F) Only 2% carry a weapon because rape with a weapon carries a tougher sentence(up to 20yrs) instead of the usual 3/5yrs.... BUT THEY OFTEN CARRY SCISSORS TO REMOVE CLOTHES?? Are scissors NOT classed as a weapon anymore???

G) Put up a fight, it is probably about the only thing that might save you..

H) They won't pick on you if you have an umbrella or similar object as you can use it to defend yourself..

I) If asked for your purse throw it away from you, DO NOT hand it to them.. and then run ..

J) LEARN SELF DEFENCE AND THE CONFIDENCE TO USE IT..

SO TO ENSURE YOUR NOT A VICTIM OF THESE PEOPLE......

CUT YOUR HAIR SHORT SO IT CAN'T BE GRABBED ...
WEAR TIGHT FITTING CLOTHES SO THEY CAN'T GET THEM OFF IN A HURRY....
STAY FOCUSSED AND OFF THE PHONE AWAY FROM PARKING LOTS...
STAY IN BED AT HOME BETWEEN 5AM AND 8.30AM.. THERE'S LESS CHANCE OF YOU BEING GRABBED..
CARRY AN UMBERLLA AND ALWAYS TRY TO FIGHT BACK AND SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN...

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this. I was surprised by some of the advice, I'm glad that I read it...and know it now. I found your blog by way of "Eyes for Lies Blog".

Kimberly said...

A lot of this stuff makes sense. Some may say it's common sense or basic, but it's always good to be reminded. I know I'm often overly polite and it's probably not always smart. I think the bottom line is trust your instincts. If something feels weird, or off, of someone gives you the creeps - get away ASAP.

The crying baby thing though is a complete farce. Just an urban legend that makes the rounds every now and then.

Anonymous said...

http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/rape.asp

Ricky said...

While the effort is appreciated, almost this entire list is bogus.
It's debunked on Snopes:

http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/rape.asp

I'm a Criminal Justice student and have just finished studying the typologies of rape offenders...all of these tips might lead to a potential victim becoming overconfident and seriously harmed/killed.

Not all rapists are looking for "easy" victims, and not all are rational while offending (thinking about weapons/sentences, etc).

Hairstyle and clothing have nothing to do with potential for rape. Also, a TON more rapists carry a weapon on them than what's stated here.

The best piece of advice is to be aware of your surroundings, and try NOT to be in the situation in the first place, though of course sometimes its out of the person's control. Read the snopes article for in-depth criticisms about this, and stay safe out there!

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