Tuesday, April 22, 2008
"My mother and I made many silly mistakes that lead to her death and me missing my mother. We moved only a few miles away from him, we knew he had a weapon and chose to "hope for the best" and we also never told anyone (along with other things)!! The reason why I'm telling you all this is because I don't want any woman or man to feel - if I leave then I’ll end up dead so I might as well just stay!"
"Please be strong, be wise and never be ashamed!" ...Angela Skellas
I was recently moved by a story on http://www.behindthebluewall.blogspot.com/ This is a site for officers and their families who have lost their lives. The administrator of the site made an exception in posting the tragedy of Angela Skellas, a daughter who lost her mother Karen Skellas on October 30, 2006 at the hands of her estranged husband.
Angela Skellas's story is almost identical to mine. Two daughters, both of whom has lost their country. A place they can never return because it does not exist. We each lost our best friend, our mothers'. These women were our entire life, our world. And like the story humpty dumpty we were read as children, our lives could not be put back together, for they are forever
halted in that place and time, when our lives stopped, the minutes within the hour, of our mothers' passing . Like a knife through a heart. http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/30/nyregion/30murder.html?ref=nyregion
A Mothers love, is beyond words. It is the whisper in the darkness that always feels like a warm bright light. When the light is stolen, we walk an endless road, forever holding a lantern, barely able to see, searching for the light , that never seems to shine, as the fire within, burned out, the day they were taken from us.
Like Angela's mother, I am reminded, how far away my mother did not move when she left my father. I insisted my mother move in with me, just a few short miles from the home I was raised. I should have known better. But like Angela and her Mom, I too, was clueless.
Maybe Angela Skellas and I will meet one day. Not as members of a tragic "club". But, as two women who shared the joy and beauty of a best friend any daughter could ask for, our mothers!
If you are in a domestic violence relationship, it's time to sit down and create a safety plan. Go to your local library and pick up a copy of the book Defending Our Lives" getting away from domestic violence & staying safe. Or you can order a copy at Amazon.com. As you are creating your road map to safety, make a call to the domestic violence hotline as ask for referal to services such as safe shelter, legal and counseling in your area. The number is