Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The "Precious" Life of Maureen Allaben and Intimate Partner Homicide

Today in DeKalb County, Georgia, a man is on trial for murdering his wife in January of 2010. It is interesting that he acknowledges he killed her, but, his lawyers are saying their client was “unhinged.”

Maureen Allaben, mother of two was strangled to death in her home. That night the “unhinged” killer wrapped the lifeless body in a quilt, placing it in the back if his pick-up truck held down by a weight. Afterwards, he tells his 2 children ages 7 and 8 that he “accidently stuffed a rag in mommy’s mouth, and she accidently died.” From there he packs up the kids and starts driving. He wanted to make sure they would be in a safe place. Don’t forget mom is in the bed of his truck, the kids are driven 500 miles away to Chesterfield, VA. He tells relatives what happened, leaves the kids, drives back and walks into a police station confessing to the murder.

Now, the defense is trying to convince the Georgia Jurors (10 men and 2 women) that their client did not plan out the murder of his wife.

And I am thinking as I write this, if only Maureen Allaben had completed the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video, in the book “Time’s Up” documenting her fears and how he planned on taking her life, the defense would not have a case. Crawford versus Washington would have been quashed, because Maureen in her words, notarized, witnessed and video tapped would have nixed this pathetic killer’s defense.

Maureen Allaben was victim of intimate partner homicide. We have become numb to a national epidemic where those silenced continue to fill headstones at a death rate far greater than those who fight or have fought for our freedom in war.

Maureen Allaben was moving on with her life minus the abuse and the threats. She like thousands of others are often no match for the likes of an individual hell bent on literally making good on the promise at the altar, “till death do us part.”

So where do we go from here? Who can be a strong enough voice to turn potential death into victory? I was also surprised to learn that Maureen was a rising television star. She was known as the “spunky set decorator for the Mo ‘Nique Show on the BET network. Mo’Nique is the actress who played and won an Academy award for best supporting actress in the film “Precious.” And she is a great comedienne, besides having her own show she is an outspoken advocate for change.

Although there is nothing Mo ‘Nique can do for her precious former colleague, there is something she can do either in Maureen’s name or for those who are facing the same fate. Start by talking about it. Let people know that if they use the procedures in the book “Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships any victim will be able to provide legal documentation and answers, allegations and fears that arise when a person has disappeared when they announce the relationship is ending, gone missing, or have been found dead. That victim’s across the country will be able to go from the “State of being controlled to the State of being in control.”!

It is too late for Maureen Allaben who joins women similar to my mother whose cries for help fell on deaf ears. So far, since 1989 when my mother was murdered by my police officer father, not one of the thousands of victims of violence has died under my watch. The book “Time’s Up” is from 20 years of keeping victims and their children in this war, alive.

But, I need people like Mo’Nique and those at the helm of companies like Blue Cross Blue Shield whom recently had loses of their employee’s such as Jacque Waller or company executive wife Gail Palmgren, both women still missing. Or those insured by these companies to provide the “prescription” found in the book.

Our lives are a precious gift from God. I am hoping God will assign an angel on earth to help spread the word to all involved in intimate partner violence that leads to homicide, and receive the assistance they need, found in Time’s Up!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Bottom line is with today's technology and careful planning by offenders that goes into murdering victims of intimate partner violence and stalking, you need an effective plan that deals with all aspects of the violence.

When you go to the doctor because you are sick, they usually write the patient a prescription to get better. The same applies to victims of intimate partner abuse, stalking and potential homicide. The prescription, now available on the market is called , Time's Up!

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available
, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is:


Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. And is with the team ofManagement Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email-


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The thing is....Maureen's relationship was not abusive. I knew her. She was not afraid to divorce a man who didn't deserve her (she'd been divorced once before) and she was VERY confident. He snapped due to jealousy. Please don't use someone you don't know to push your book.

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