Saturday, April 30, 2011

Takeyia Easterling: On The Battlefield in South Carolina

Takeyia Easterling, age 20, a resident of South Carolina, deserves more attention then the brief headline she received as a result of her preventable murder. She died in battle on Thursday, killed as a direct result of intimate partner violence. Within hours her 7-month old son (thrown out of a moving car during a police pursuit) was placed in foster care following her death and the arrest of the father, now charged with Takeyia Easterling's murder.

South Carolina ranks among the top 5 states of battlefield murders as a result of intimate partner violence. Add to that the heavy burden when states prosecute and wind up warehousing these dangerous predators, at taxpayers expense, behind bars for many, many years. State budget funding is being wiped out by these types of crimes. So what is the answer?

First and foremost, you handle cases of intimate partner violence as a serious crime. So far one of the few places I see positive outcomes in these crimes is in the State of New Jersey. They have a hands on victim advocacy program that needs to be a model for the entire country, along with trained first responders and prosecutors who are saving lives.

In addition, states need to pass the Intimate Partner Harm Reduction Act that includes training and the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video (see below). This removes excuses and lip service, and adds a prescription for change. With change, you save lives!

Takeyia Easterling now joins the rank and file of yet another victim whose life will only be remembered by an engraved cold stone tablet just beyond an entranceway of a cemetery someplace in South Carolina. It is where she will spend her first, of many mothers days.

Her life and those whom will surely follow in her footsteps deserve a fighting chance at survival, Time's Up!

If Takeyia's determination to leave is not a wake up call to anyone ending their abusive and or stalking relationship without preparing the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video before they announce it is over, think again!

Once you are threatened, hit, stalked, questioned in a controlling way, a second chance to save your life, is no longer an option.

“If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, know that there are measures you must take before announcing the end of your relationship. These safety precautions can be found in the book, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship" by Susan Murphy Milano. Don't take things into your own hands without expert guidance.” (Mothers Are Vanishing)

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when she announces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.
The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is:

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network onVimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.


Billie said...

I wish I had a way to put this blog in front of every woman in America, but I don't. I can spread the word to friends and hope they do the same. Maybe someone will be saved and Susan's work won't be in vain. I'm so sorry Takeyia wasn't able to survive her relationship.

Anonymous said...

That was my sister and I really don't appreciate your wording of the situation and the fact that you are putting out false information is making me very upset but I understand that you are doing your job but you or anyone else really don't know how much it hurts to lose a sibling

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