Saturday, May 1, 2010

National Criminal Profiler Pat Brown :TIME'S UP for Domestic Abuse


Nearly a day does not pass without watching Nancy Grace, MSNBC., Fox News, Jane Velez Mitchell that you do not see and hear Profiler Pat Brown weighing in on a horriffic criminal case. One would not think that with her busy schedule, including her new blogtalk radio show "Profile This," that she has the time to review anything other than what new case she has to profile next. The "master decorder of truth," as I refer to her Pat Brown, took time from her schedule to review my latest book. Reprinting her words below is my way of acknowledging and thanking her when I know her own amazing book is set for release in just 2 weeks titled, The Profiler: My Life Hunting Serial Killers and Psychopaths.

We hear the term, "Domestic Abuse," thrown around quite a bit and it is worth taking a look at what it really means in our own lives. Is it physical, mental, or both? When does one spouse's treatment of the other cross the line from just imperfect humans struggling in a relationship to one partner mistreating the other? After all, we know that marriage can be "work" and issues have to be dealt with and ironed out. We are going to disagree, even argue and be mad at each other, and, sometimes, we are not going to actually be able to kiss and make-up before bedtime. When should one start to worry that there is something really wrong with our marriage partnership?

I would say it is when the "partnership" becomes a boss and employee relationship and the boss is someone we would like to fire. While everyone wants power and control in life, a spouse must be willing to share that power and control with their partner, work together to achieve a balance where both parties are satisfied with the equation. Doing so is not a problem for those who love their spouse and want to see their spouse happy and want to achieve a positive and pleasing family life. Working together is an expectation for a committed couple and being good role models for the children is a natural desire for caring parents.

When one spouse becomes the master, putting his or her needs and desires above the spouse's, doesn't care how his/her mate feels, ignores the impact of this imbalance on the children, this is abuse - whether it is in the form of emotional manipulation of physical domination.

But, let's suppose you have already blown it and you are stuck in a nightmare; you are being mentally or physically tortured with regularity and you fear your mate instead of feeling safe in their company. It's time to make the decision to leave. Susan Milano-Murphy, one of my fellow bloggers at Women in Crime Ink knows well when someone should make a break for it and titles her new book on escaping abuse, TIME'S UP: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship.

To read the rest of the article go click HERE.

In case you missed the example of the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" that should be created before anyone announces they are ending their relationship.

1 comment:

Dinah Bee Menil said...

Nice site, very informative. I like to read this.,it is very helpful in my part for my criminal law studies.

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