What Would Susan Say: The Murder of Susann Smith

Susann Smith of Bothell, WA

The state of Washington was reeling just over a year ago when Josh Powell incinerated his children and himself shortly after a social worker dropped off the children for a unsupervised visit. Who can forget that Josh Powell was the husband of still missing Susan Powell, and the person of interest in her disappearance?

Susann Smith of Bothell, Washington, also a mother of two young children, was brutally murdered, in fact beaten to death, found in the bathtub of her home on February 12, 2013. Police have named her husband, Alan Smith, as the "person of interest."

Married for 8 years the couple was in the midst of a contentious divorce, separating in 2011, and, as often happens, arrows and accusations were being flung by both sides as court documents report neither side was happy with parenting arrangements. Each had a restraining order against the other when the divorce was originally filed, leading one to believe there was evidence of abuse in the relationship.

Matt Phelps, Regional Assistant Editor for the Bothell Reporter has been following the story extensively and reveals much of what's contained in court documents concerning the divorce proceedings, a large part documenting each side stating their displeasure with the other and witnesses testifying about each person's parenting skills and attitudes. But, what really went on behind the closed doors of the home in the 200 block of 240th St. S.W. in Bothell?

I don't have the resources that Susan Murphy Milano did to dig deep and find hidden evidence, nor to get opinions from high profile people, but, after working side by side with her for several years, I did learn many things about how to see what's in plain sight.

Several things are evident:

• There was definitely abusive behavior in the home, possibly from both sides and witnessed in front of the children.
• Susann Smith was a native of Germany, her family was there, and she made it known that her family had requested she bring the children to Germany to be near them for support, according to court records, she told her mother that she wanted the children to be near their father. However, according to Alan Smith, Susann had used taking the children to Germany as a threat.
• As a couple they were utilizing all of the personnel available, therapists, mediators, and attorneys to settle the differences within the divorce.
• Alan Smith was seeing a psychiatrist, although the nature of why is not revealed, it's stated that Alan was "fearful" she would take the children to Germany, and that he felt Susann had her own "mental issues."
• The court was petitioned numerous times, at first over monitary issues and then escalating into the parenting as being the matter in question with witnesses from both sides testifying to the natures and characters of each parties.

Pattern of Conduct

One thing that Susan Murphy Milano would often say is, "look for the pattern of conduct before and after the event, whether it be an instance of abuse, or intimate partner homicide, there will be clues in the way those close to the victim behave."

• Since the murder of their mother, the two young children of Susann and Alan Smith, have been in the care of Child Protection Services. It's reported they were not in the home at the time of the murder, but where were they? Were they in school or daycare as would be their normal routine, or were they somewhere that was planned ahead of time so that they would not be witness to the murder of their mother? If the latter, who made that plan?
• Alan Smith was named a "person of interest" shortly after the murder, as most husbands are, especially when there is a quarrelsome relationship. Search warrants were carried out and investigators moved in to do their job and make their reports. Considerable amounts of possible evidence were taken from the house, including Alan's motorcycle.
• It's reported by an anonymous co-worker that Alan Smith was at work the days following the murder of the mother of his children until his employer, Boeing, put him on administrative leave. He had often spoken about Susann negatively to co-workers saying that he was emotionally abused and apparently felt no reason to keep the disputes of his divorce private. Was this an act of reaching out to others for support, or was he setting the stage?
• He attended the memorial service for his estranged wife and, according to neighbors in attendance, showed little emotion (ala Scott Peterson). Alan Smith seems to have emotionally "moved on" from his troubled marriage and the death of his wife, although this could be a normal shift being separated for some time, and he possibly began forging new relationships, one would expect that even with all the problems under the bridge he would still grieve for the mother of his children. 
• Alan Smith was the owner of the home in which his wife and children lived, and where Susann was ultimately murdered. He has since had the home cleaned of all signs of death and moved back into it, to the discontent of some neighbors who have witnessed him carrying on his life as if nothing happened and playing host to a new girlfriend.
• It's been reported that Alan Smith is seeking to gain custody of his two children, taking them back from CPS, and this is where things get alarming.

Susan Murphy Milano wrote about a lot of cases, including the Susan Powell case, where she was adamant that when a mother is murdered custody of the remaining children should not automatically go to the father. So, in this instance, CPS did the right thing in taking protective custody right away. Until such a time when the remaining father is no longer the person of interest, suspect, or that he has been thoroughly investigated and cleared of any wrongdoing, should the children be returned.

Yes, realizing that we have innocent until proven guilty in our democratic society, she was often criticized for her stand on this issue. But, isn't it better to err on the side of caution and protection of the children than the rights of an innocent father? An innocent father would welcome such scrutiny, get it out of the way, and seek justice and resolution for his children.

Alan Smith

Circumstantial evidence not looking good for Alan Smith

• The bicycle. When questioned intially about his modes of transportation, Alan Smith denied he owned a bicycle. However, during the investigation it was found that he indeed had purchased a bicycle using a credit card in late November. Was this misleading, or was it a lie?
• In March an abandoned bicycle was found which was the same make and serial number as the bicycle purchased in Seattle by Alan Smith. Investigators are processing it for any latent evidence connecting it to the murder of Susann Smith.
• Another lie? Days after the murder Alan Smith lied to investigators about cuts on his hands.
• Purchases. Alan Smith was buying some odd staples in the time before the murder, such as coveralls, latex gloves, shoe covers, a still missing rubber mallet and, duct tape, of course. And don't forget the bicycle.
• Computer searches. It's not unusual to search the internet for tickets to South America for 1 adult and 2 children, or is it, especially just before notification of the childrens' mother's murder. After the children were taken into protective custody, tickets for 1 adult were included in the search records of Alan Smith's computer, along with the term, “does Venezeula extradite to the United States." Is Smith a flight risk? (more shades of Scott Peterson)
• Blood evidence. Traces of blood found in Alan Smith's car: the steering wheel, center console, and a floor mat. Blood traces were also found on his backpack. A pattern from the coveralls he purchased was found at the crime scene.

Sgt. Cedric Collins. "… No arrests have been made and anyone who may have information they feel may be helpful in this investigation is encouraged to call the Bothell Police Department tip line."

That number is 425-487-5551.

So, what would Susan say? 

"The dangers should be carefully considered when ending a dating relationship or marriage. The reaction to rejection is costing lives. In cases where the victim has died, her fears during the relationship or marriage remain silent, telling family or friends is considered "hearsay" and it's not enough when the person responsible is finally brought to trial. As a precaution, victims are encouraged to prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video, also known as the "EAA." This removes hearsay and in a victim's own words provides historical abuse documentation, gives law enforecment and prosecutors a profile of the offender and shows his pattern of conduct prior to the crime should the victim vanish or be killed."   DocumentTheAbuse.Com

Had Susann Smith known about and created an EAA, King County investigators and the state of Washington would be saving taxpayer dollars spent on the investigation that has now lasted almost 4 months with no arrest. Her documentation would have spelled out enough evidence to make a quick arrest, if indeed Alan Smith is the suspect, and help lead investigators to build a stronger case for prosecution.

***

Help keep Susan Murphy Milano's legacy moving forward into the future, a future where there is absolute help for victims of violence, female and male.

If you're a victim, read Holding My Hand Through Hell, you will find yourself and your story somewhere in this book,  Susan's true crime memoir is a must. 

If you are thinking about ending a relationship, before you make any announcements or plans, read Time's Up, prepare your personal Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and individualized safety plan to insure that you've done all you can.

Click on the book covers to purchase.

*Susan Murphy Milano lost her battle with cancer on October 28, 2013. To keep her work and her memory alive, I will be writing entries to her blog hoping to keep her many loyal readers and keep attention on the cases which she herself wrote about. Sometimes a case screams to be heard, a case that Susan herself would want to write about, those are the ones I will occasionally attempt to present as "What Would Susan Say."......Delilah (ImaginePublicity)

Disclaimer: I am not a trained or certified advocate, only a close friend and colleague of Susan Murphy Milano and was appointed administrator of her online sites. The opinions and case speculations do not necessarily mean that I'm an expert in domestic violence, only in the sense that I had the privilege of working with Susan on a daily basis, editing her blogs and books and sharing in her vast knowledge.

"Holding My Hand Through Hell" and Intimate Partner Violence

Everyone believed by appearance and living in a near north side Chicago neighborhood that our house on a quiet street was a "good, no crime, community." We appeared no different than the other families on the block, and like every other street in the neighborhood, we were considered a safer place to live only because my father was a Chicago Police detective.

I always thought that if people only knew what really went on behind that front door, they would somehow pull us out and take us away to a safe place to live. As a child, no one ever believed me when I would say "my father beats my mother." One time I was suspended from school for writing a poem that went something like this:

This man who drinks and carries a gun

each night he'd come home we'd have no fun,

that bottle, that gun, no place to run.

My father, like most abusers, was a clever manipulator. To the outside world he was a loving husband and father who also happened to be a cop by profession.

On January 19, 1989, the quiet house on Highland street would turn into a gruesome and bloody crime scene. My father would make good on his life long promise to kill my mother before turning the gun on himself.

Available for pr-eorder at Amazon Click HERE

Today, because of their deaths, many victims and their children are alive. You see, this place that I called home would be the training ground in which lives would be saved. Taking 18 years of crime scene experience, learning from a veteran victim, my mother, and a serial abuser who happened to be licensed to carry a badge and a gun, my father, would forever change how the world dealt with intimate partner homicide and violence.

There are far too many homes across the country in quiet little neighborhoods just like mine where violence is silenced behind closed doors. We still do not treat intimate partner violence and stalking as a crime. The house on Highland should be a wake up call to us all, that not much has changed since the laws were passed. And those laws were put in place because of the bloodshed. They were not signed by Governors across the country with a pen of ink, but blood from those slaughtered and erased by those who professed to love them.

You want change? Then everyone must be willing to give this issue more then lip service. If you know someone in an abusive relationship, if you are a lawyer practicing in family court, if it is happening to you, a plan of action is your key to safety. The book Time's Up is based on women, like my mom, who were silenced in the prime of their lives. This is your prescription to safety. Below is a sample of the video you need to prepare, if you do nothing else, the abuse affidavit and video will go a long way, if something happens.

Looking back, I don't think my mother ever really believed my father would actually follow through and kill. But he did. Most women that I assist and keep alive, never want to believe the person with whom they enter a relationship could be capable of killing.

Don't take the chance!

Once you are threatened, hit, stalked, questioned in a controlling way, a second chance to save your life, is no longer an option.

“If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, know that there are measures you must take before announcing the end of your relationship. These safety precautions can be found in the book, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship" by Susan Murphy Milano. Don't take things into your own hands without expert guidance.” (Mothers Are Vanishing)

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.
The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish likeStacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or are found murdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman,Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Time's Up!

You cannot plead with an abuser and walk away from potentially life threatening situations if you are unable to learn the steps necessary to protect yourself. Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships will allow anyone to orchestrate what is needed to be safe.

"If you are a sophisticated, aware woman, you will find things you didn’t know to help yourself and others. If you are a stay-at-home-mom who has been controlled since a teenager and doesn’t know the first thing about leading an independent life, you’ll find all the details you need to escort you through the risk-filled and often baffling transition ahead . Time's Up by Susan Murphy Milano: is the best companion an abused woman can have."  Kathryn Casey, True-Crime Author

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example in English

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example in Spanish

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example for Men who are being abused

Available on Amazon or Kindle

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and
 specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals,

 victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing 

prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular 

contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : 

Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! 

a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime Susan is also the daughter of a Chicago Violent Crimes detective who murdered her mother before turning the gun on himself and committing suicide. 

Dangerous Love: Are you Prepared?

By Susan Murphy-Milano

At what cost to ourselves do we remain in a relationship? Likely this is not a question we ever ask ourselves. But, why not?

Could it be that in our lives we settle? Are we too embarrassed to admit when the individual we have chosen to spend our lives with is not who they were at the beginning of the relationship? The answer is yes.

The wrong kind of love includes emotional warfare. A destructive game played in a relationship when a person chips away at the very foundation of another individual. Emotional warfare is an invisible dagger to the heart. You don't see it coming when confronted. Below are some examples of :

Emotional Abuse

• Name calling: “you’re a bitch, a whore, fat, ugly, stupid, slut, trash”.
• You are constantly told that you are crazy, that you need a psychiatrist; they threaten to have you committed. They tell your children that you are crazy and make them believe that they are not safe with you. They hide personal items in an attempt to convince you or others that, “you are losing it.”
• They intentionally say things to embarrass you in front of others. They make remarks about your appearance or belittle you. They talk over you if you are engaged in conversation, or consistently contradict you in an effort to discredit you, or make you feel stupid.
• They ignore you when you have “been bad”, or do not do as you are told. They act like you are not in the room. You are made to feel that you are invisible.
• They withhold praise or affection. They make you feel that your mere presence disgusts them, that you are unattractive, and unworthy of them or anyone else.

• You are made to feel worthless, no good, and stupid. You are told you’re your opinions do not count, that you couldn’t possibly have anything to say that anyone would want to hear.
• You are made to feel that your past has no value; your childhood memories, your holiday traditions, your faith, and even your family. Regardless of your education, or your past experiences, your prior existence means nothing to them, and even the mention of it can illicit negative consequences.
• They accuse you of having affairs, lying, or conspiring against them.

Just because you are not physically hurt in your relationship does not mean you are free and clear. Emotional abuse can and does lead to intimate partner homicide. In many of the recent cases where women have gone missing and have yet to be found, they were never hit or beaten with fists. Instead, words, the same as you see above were their abusers weapons. When that no longer worked they went from words to action, silencing women and the mothers of their own children, forever.

You cannot fix or rescue these individuals. They are toxic and dangerous to any relationship.

Before you consider filing for a divorce or moving out, you better have a plan. He (the abuser) has one if you leave. And the last time I checked designer body bags were not considered a fashion statement.

Time's Up!

You cannot plead with an abuser and walk away from potentially life threatening situations if you are unable to learn the steps necessary to protect yourself.  Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships will allow anyone to orchestrate what is needed to be safe.

"If you are a sophisticated, aware woman, you will find things you didn’t know to help yourself and others.  If you are a stay-at-home-mom who has been controlled since a teenager and doesn’t know the first thing about leading an independent life, you’ll find all the details you need to escort you through the risk-filled and often baffling transition ahead .  Time's Up by Susan Murphy Milano:  is the best companion an abused woman can have  Kathryn Casey, True-Crime Author

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example in English

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example in Spanish

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example for Men who are being abused

Available on Amazon or Kindle

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and
 specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals,  victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime .

A Lesson for The World: Susan Cox Powell and Her Children

Susan Cox Powell's murder, along with her children's premeditated killings at the hands of their father, is a front row seat to missing persons cases, inadequate children and family services, criminal investigations, family court and a community who stood in silence.

The Huffington Post is now reporting on, after two innocent children are blown-up, and releasing numerous emails Susan sent to co-works, friends and family.

Nine emails were provided to the newspaper after Susan Powell disappeared in December 2009, but at the request of the provider, the newspaper held back on publishing them until now.

"Every moment I step back and take stock of what I'm dealing with, it feels like a never ending cycle but I'm too afraid of the consequences (sic) losing my kids, him kidnapping, divorce or actions worse on his part, if I take a stand on one of his ultimatums like spending $20 on the counseling co-pay or cutting off access to my pay check," she wrote.

When Susan Cox Powell vanished, it was disclosed by the oldest of the boys, "mommy went on a camping trip with us but she didn't come back." West Valley city police, for unknown reasons, decided to sit on evidence; blood, child's disclosure, a letter found in Susan's drawer at work stating "if something happens to me." There was enough within weeks to prevent Josh Powell from leaving the state of Utah and making an arrest. What in God's name were they waiting for?

Why are these emails just now surfacing? If Huffington Post thinks this is a "hot news story," they are mistaken. This is pure ignorance to the seriousness of the crime immediately after Susan was reported missing. They had an opportunity and an obligation to either turn those emails over to law enforcement and or report on them in a timely fashion.

Has anyone from a church in the State of Utah taken any pro-active action pertaining to the importance of what to do if a member of their congregation is in an abusive relationship ? They remain as hushed as the victims whose lives are erased. Why? Because intimate violence remains behind closed doors. Susan Cox Powell lived and breathed a crime scene in her own home each time verbal and physical threats were made to her safety. There are others like Susan, sitting in those church pews on Sundays, are we making an effort to help them? The answer is no!

I'm not here to win friends or influence public opinion. Unless you have lived and breathed your childhood and teen years wondering whether you will live or die, you have no room to be upset with anything done to change how the world does not see these crimes of intimate partner violence and homicide.

Pastor Neil Schori wrote on his blog in February:

Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims


I’ve spoken with many domestic violence activists and also with victims of abuse. One of the most common things they say is that they have not found churches to be supportive of them. Activists tell me that it is almost as if pastors and church leaders don’t actually even hear what they are saying. Victims have told me that pastors have condescendingly told them that they are involved in active sin by attempting to divorce their violent abusers and that they needed to go home and submit and “suffer for Jesus.”

This should make you angry and sad. AND ready to stand up and say NO MORE! The church should be a refuge for victims of abuse. Abusers should look at the church as a dangerous place for them to pull out their false-piety and sugary sweet manipulation.

Jesus came so that we would have overflowing, beautiful life. That certainly includes victims of domestic violence. Will you help us?

Please ask your pastor to talk about domestic violence at your church. Tell your pastor that 5 families in your church can be a part of rescuing the 1.3 million victims of domestic violence in the US each year. Tell your pastor about this incredible resource: http://documenttheabuse.com

I’d love to add you to our growing list of safe families for victims of domestic violence. Send me a message if you are interested in learning how.

Since the disappearance of Stacy Peterson on October 28, 2007, Pastor Schori is working to get the faith based communities across the counrty on board with the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit located on the Document The Abuse. com site.

Maybe the Huffington Post can write about what is actually working to save lives. Printing these emails now is a crime all by itself!

*****  

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime Susan is also the daughter of a Chicago Violent Crimes detective who murdered her mother before committing suicide. 

Taking the Mystery Out of Robin Baxter's Murder

There really was no mystery when Robin Lynn Baxter's body was pulled from the Ohio River in June of 1990, three days after she was reported missing on the 19th as to why she was murdered.  The autopsy would show Robin died from blunt trauma to the head.

The couple according to neighbors, friends and family told investigators the couple's relationship was volatile.

Chris Baxter was at times, violent and controlling. The couple were last seen together arguing.  Chris Baxter left a friends home the couple was visiting first, Robin followed behind.

When questioned by law enforcement the husband, Chris Baxter said he got up at 3 or 4am walked in the neighborhood to look for his wife and besides breaking glass to the back door of their home, that's all he recalled. By the way it's important to point out, Baxter claimed he'd blacked out during his second interview with investigators a few days later.  

Through the years, Chris Baxter's drinking increased and so did his boasting of her murder, but law enforcement who said Baxter was the sole person interest, never had enough to charge him. Until yesterday when New Albany, IN police arrested him for her murder 22 years ago. 

This case is an intimate partner homicide.  The pattern of conduct in 1990, of Chris Baxter that lead up to Robin's murder should have been investigated further.  A search warrant should have been obtained for the residence and Baxter's vehicles. But, at the time law enforcement did little else than question him.  The blunt weapon possibly used to kill her, a lead pipe. 

This tragedy is a prime example of thousands of similar cases across the country gone cold or still missing yet to be re-opened and properly investigated.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime http://documenttheabuse.com/

Cold Blooded Mother Murders Her Entire Family

                                                           Skyler 8 and her brother Ian 7

Both of these beautiful children had just gotten off the school bus.    It was their last day of school until after the new year.

As always, I received a dozen or so emails when the news broke about a tragic shooting; in my opinion, a premeditated slaughter in Emington, IL, an entire family erased.  Among those who lost their lives was a 10-month old baby Maggie Warren, the father to the infant and live-in boyfriend Daniel Warren, the mother to all the children, Sara McMeen, and Skyler and Ian Lemke.

Interesting how everyone who wrote assumed it was the father.  On Friday, a neighbor saw the mother in the back yard after 3 other shots had already rung out from inside the home.  The neighbor asked if everything was alright and the mother shouted "no," firing point blank at the baby in her arms, dropped her to the grass, then committed suicide.

As you're reading this you can think of all the "reasons" someone would do this, especially a mother.  Was she mentally ill, not on her medication, misdiagnosed or did she just snap? There is not one good reason, in my book, for wiping out innocent lives.  Sara McMeen planned the murders.  No, she did not simply snap.

Having personally bathed,  for 18 years, in the world of abuse victims and serial offenders who eventually turn deadly, society continues to dismiss the events leading up to intimate partner violence and homicide.  We sugar coat it by saying the individual was mentally ill or they were under pressure.  We tiptoe around these crimes hiding behind the computer screen or inside our home in a hear no evil see no evil mentality.  These murders are not isolated, one time incidents.  It is an epidemic!

The community of Emington has an opportunity to be a voice for the children and father now forever silenced on a national level.  Perhaps a town meeting, after the holidays, with a plan of awareness and action in memory of the victims.  It is my hope the town can rise above the tragedy and not keep it a secret, hidden as though it never happened.  That would be a crime!

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases. She is a intimate partner family homicide survivor.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writesproviding commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime

Erased are Women: Mothers, Sisters and innocent lives, lost!

Today is Mother's Day. Instead of celebrating the love of a mother far too many families with motherless children will be visting gravesites across the county. As they place flowers and photo's on the headstone and grave tears of confusion and anger will roll down their cheeks as they stand trying to claim a memory or happy thought about her while she was alive. As the family holds hands inprayer silently they wonder what could they have done to prevent the tragedy?

The list is long consisting of women murdered in their own homes, stalked, missing in action if you will because their life was lost in the war against abuse, power and control. With pleas's for help from the judical system and their community often falling on deaf ears.

Many women are still out there waiting to be found by their families and bring them home. In honor of their lives it is important to list these amazing women, my mother included. I remember after my mom was murdered and a stranger or someone who barely knew me said " out of this tragedy you will triumph." At the time the wounds and emotions still raw I likely responded by barking back to the individual "what a cold and inappropriate statement, you have no clue what I am going through or feeling, my life is forever altered." I was wrong because I was angry, hurt and devasted by the loss of the one person I loved most with all my heart, my mother. From these women's tragedies we can change the course of survior for those among the living as they live in fear and wait for someone to extend a hand offer support to end the war with their children and lives intact.


So to Cindy Bischof, Crystal Brame, Heather Malloy, Rachel Anderson, Stacy Peterson, Paige Birgfeld, Brandy Schneider, Tara Grinstead, Carli Dennis, Heather Malloy, Monica Beresford-Redmond, Tera Chavez, Mercedes McCalley, Army Lt. Holley Wimunc, Charlotte Grahn, Lacey Gaines, Rosa Lisowski, Suzanne Gratton, Barbara Vanaman, Colleen Dwyer, Theresa Parker,Bethanie Dougherty, Denise Taylor, Maria Djelaj, Rose Cobb, Lisa Stebic, Kathleen Savio, Nancy Cooper, Renee Pagel, Selina Johnson, Lisa Freiberg, Karen Skellas, Sgt Sonia Garcia, Rachel Conger, Roberta Murphy, Jan Roseboro, Wendy Theibeault,Linda Yancey, Adelina Weber, Dawn Brossard, Tiffany O'Shell, Jennifer Vodermann, Mary McGinnas,Jessie Davis, Amy Mullins, Nailah Franklin, Elena Cole, Vensus Stewart,Patty Vaughan, Hope Meek, Hannah Crowe, Krishina Townsend, Ronda Reynolds, Melissa Lightsey, Isol Cotto, Debbie Rediess, Amy Yager, Lori DeKleine, Caran Renee Coward, Irma Rodriguez,Natasha Hall, Sharon Kleinsasser, Marie Bruce, Officer Patricia Williams, Sandra Twist, Tracy Judd, Amber Weigel, Antoinette Ross, Kathryn Maxwell, Brandy Hanna, Nancy Rojo, Officer Caran Coward, Susan Powell, Elizabeth Mangiatini, Gina Parsons, Zoelina Williams, Jessie Roponi, Cristi Lynne Hall, Karen Kahler, Wendy Stevens, Ashley Ann Sullivan, Marcia Eakin Mammone, Brenda Canosa, Cheryl Wynn, Franki Jacobson,Susan McFarland, Sandra Viramontes, Shari Cartmell, Whitney Mendez, Nova Henry, Kellisue Ackernecht, Rose Maynard, Alice Morrin, Suzan Annette Sowders-Fuller, carla Westholfen, Kathryn Maxwell, Kristin Longo, Keitha Turner, Katherine Garner, Kelly Currin Morris, Makasha Colonvega, Vensus Stewart, Assiya Hussan, Robin Lee Miller, Amy Duh, Claira McDermott, Sgt. Melanie Lee, Kathryn Minton Tucker, Yolanda Bindics, Laci Peterson, Jennifer Jacobb, Sheila Deviney, Connie Channey, Summer Inman, Beth Bentley, Melanie Metheny and to the thousands of others whom I did not list here, you are forever in all of our hearts. Happy Mother's Day!


[*The women highlighted in blue were officer related deaths]

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network onVimeo.

The Roth Show is a nationally syndicated talk show hosted by Dr. Laurie Roth, Ph.D., and stands on principles and leading the charge for the legions of Americans who are saying “Enough Already!”

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.