Stacy Peterson is Missing: Drew Peterson Owes the Nation Answers and an Apology

My favorite "Legal Marshmallow Roaster" from the Drew Peterson defense team is out in public making snow balls again, something that his client cannot do at the moment because he is locked-up in a Will County jail awaiting trial for the murder of his third wife, Kathleen Savio. The mother of his two boys was found, mysteriously, in a dry bathtub at the couple's former marital residence on March 1, 2004.



Today, December 14, from the desk of "I need attention central", a press release was issued by Peterson's attorney; the headline reads, (drum roll please):

"Drew Peterson demands apology from Illinois State Police."

Drew Peterson and his defense attorney are demanding that the Illinois State Police make a formal apology to Peterson because they think Stacy Peterson is alive. For the record, Stacy was reported missing by her sister, and not her husband.

The legal team is calling attention to, and citing, a recent case where Judith Bello, a wife and mother, was reported missing under suspicious circumstances 18 years ago. She recently called authorities to inform them she is alive. Just last week in another cold case where a husband was charged, 8 years later, the family begged law enforcement officials for help, and is similar to the murder of Kathleen Savio for which Drew Peterson will stand trial. 

While we are on the topic of apologies, Kathleen Savio's family deserves one from the State Police, State's Attorney and Corner's office (those on staff in 2004) and the entire Bolingbrook Police Department. Kathleen tried desperately to make them aware of her abusive situation and made several reports which were not followed up on properly.

Below are a few recent tragedies where husbands claimed their wives left on their own and don't wish to be located, or it was ruled an accident.

Husband Arrested in Cold Case Death
A man is arrested for his wife's death more than 8 years after it happened. The Goliad County Sheriff's Office tells us Delbert Mills is in jail tonight on a $5 million bond. Mills' wife, Patricia, died in 2003 after their home caught fire. Her case was re-opened last year by the Goliad County Sheriff after the victim's sister urged him to look into Patricia's death. Wednesday, December 7 2011,

MUSKOGEE, Okla. - Formal charges are filed against the husband of a woman who has been missing for 12 years. Jeff Grannon has been charged with first degree murder. February 28, 2011

2003 Cold Case: HENDERSONVILLE, Tenn.- A man accused of hiring a hitman to kill his wife nearly a decade ago was indicted by a grand jury on first degree murder charges Tuesday.Officials in Sumner County said that new evidence against Tyrone Tackett led a jury to believe that Tackett's wife Salena Tackett was deceased although her body has never been found. December 13, 2011

The legal defense team and the accused murderer continue to make a headline grabbing game at the expense of two women who were victims of violence, and, in my opinion, likely lost their lives as a result of officer involved intimate partner violence; this is pathetic. There is no physical evidence supporting the fact that Stacy Peterson is alive. 

Peterson's pattern of conduct in Stacy's case, is important, even months and years prior to when she was reported missing. Also important are the alleged calls placed by Stacy Peterson to the Bolingbrook police department that were dismissed, likely because Peterson was in charge of the hen house at the time.

On November 30, 2011, the Illinois Supreme Court ordered a lower court to reconsider whether 8 out of 14 hearsay statements should be allowed when Peterson finally stands trial for Kathleen's murder. Some statements regarding the murder of Kathleen Savio were made by Stacy Peterson to others shortly before she was, in my opinion, murdered. 

Now, when will Stacy's remains be recovered from where the clever like a fox serial offender hid her is the million dollar question. Four children without their loving mother(s) is a tragic fact!

I do realize by posting this that I am fueling the matter. But, in this case, it is important when you have a sworn officer of the court using the tragedies of one mother who was murdered, and another missing and waiting to be found, to drum up new business.

It is Drew Peterson who owes the world an apology!

Tip-line: Illinois State Police

815-740-0678

Illinois State Police Home Page

Website: findstacypeterson.net

email: findstacyann@aol.com





Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies, directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

She is a national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writesproviding commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime

Elizabeth Dean, Brittany Kirk and Connor Kirk : Clear and Present Danger

In April of 2011, a man was convicted in the triple murders on February 13, 2009 of his wife Elizabeth Dean, 45 and (her) children Brittany Kirk age 14, Connor Kirk age 13.

The man responsible for the execution style murders did not just "snap" as reported by the media. He was not "insane." The questions, theory's or excuse's of husbands murdering as to the "Why's" often asked by law enforcement or used as a defense during plea deals or at trial completely miss the mark as it relates directly to intimate partner homicide.

Individuals committing these crimes are controlling and physically abuse over an extended period of time. You will not see them act out in public. Their actions are the opposite of what the general public, friends and relatives are lead to believe. Often, their voice is caring and warm. Their actions towards a wife or family member seen as devoted and affectionate. To a clever abusive manipulative and violent offender the general public is their stage. The audience sitting in front row seats watches an amazing academy award winning performance.

But, it is a far cry from who the psychopathic offenders really are in their home or castle, behind closed doors in the community where they reside.

I had a difficulty reading some of the media coverage on the murders. The opening of the news stories taking center stage on the offender as a "devoted and doting husband." In my opinion, given the nature of the horrific crimes, I as a homicide survivor found it insulting. The story should have focused more on how law enforcement are working to identify these perpetrators, victims and the dangers individuals pose when you remain in a violent because it will could lead to homicide. And, it would have been nice to see more warm and fuzzy words about Elizabeth and the children.

The warning signs were there in this case prior to the murders as further evidenced by the following statement I read provided to a reporter :

"From time to time, Dean -- an otherwise "sweet" and "God-fearing" husband and stepfather -- would speak of his dreams, in which he had "a desire to do violent things to people," said Muroski, of Richmond. "He wouldn't, because he knew it was wrong. But something inside him wanted to do it."

Profile of an Abuser

The abuser can be a male or female. The abuser can be sweet, handsome and unassuming to everyone, but you.

An abuser knows exactly how to manipulate all types of situations.

An abuser is the most generous and helpful person to the neighbor, your family, and friends. If you tell anyone you are being abused it is not likely you will be believed. When you are or were dating you thought it was “special” that this person was jealous of anyone who approached. Thinking how lucky you were until you moved in with them or married and the jealously turned into anger and rage, chances are you love this guy with all your heart and yet they still accuse you of having “secret affairs” or relationships with everyone else but, them.

The abuser is very insecure.

The abuser constantly questions your loyalty to them, the children and having a future together.

The abuser is clever at showing sincere intentions, but often has other motives

The abuser hurts or destroys family pets.

Jekyll and Hyde personality, they can be sweet one day and angry and violent the next.

The abuser is clever at showing sincere intentions, but often has other motives.

If you are pregnant, the abuser can become upset with you and angry and may attempt to make you miscarry. Once the child is born you may not be allowed to run and comfort your baby. An abuser expects the same attention and or sexual intimacy prior to the pregnancy.

An abuser may be unusually rough or use measures of discipline far too extreme on your child.

An abuser does not have the ability to love another person, is very critical of others.

An abuser blames you for everything that goes wrong in their lives; their job, outside pressures, whatever it is, you are blamed. Regardless of the situation; it is always your fault.

An abuser denies hurting you, almost acting like it never even happened.

The abuser will make excuses for why they become angry or physically violent.

The abuser blames their drug and alcohol abuse on you or their parents.

The abuser believes in maintaining control over every aspect of their lives to the point of obsession, including monitoring activities of you and or the children.

The Teeter Totter Abuser – remember when you were a child playing at the park?An Abuser rises you up and brings you down the same way as a teeter totter. One day they are driving you out of their lives saying things like “I have had it”, you are “worthless”

“I am leaving” to this is all “your fault” and beating you to “make you behave”.The next they are rising you up high by apologizing, sending you flowers, a card. They may actually cry or beg you not to leave them. They say things like: "I am sorry"; “It will never happen again"; “Don't you understand how much I love you?" They bring you gifts, or suggest a romantic weekend away. Suddenly they act as if they worship the ground you walk on. And acting as if they worship the very ground you walk.

Tarzan Abuser- their attitude and behavior is no different than “Me, Tarzan” (as they beat their chest) meaning they are superior to you, they are the “provider.”To “You, Jane” follow my lead, do as I say, be their slave, wait on their every desire, you are the invisible less important person in the relationship.

An abuser has an important career in the public, people depend on them for answers, and the abusive person brings this attitude home with them.

Providing information on what you need to do if you or someone you know is in a potentially violent relationship is done with the hope of saving lives. My work in the area of intimate partner prevention of homicides for over 20 years is a direct result of not being able to save my own mother back in 1989, killed by her police detective husband prior to committing suicide.

And as always, if you have questions, my email adddress is murphymilano@gmail.com

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman, Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Network on Vimeo.

If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UPcan save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Holly Dembie: The Devils in the Details

Last week the full 911 taped conversation was released by the Lorain County Sheriff's Department pertaining to the murder of Holly Dembie, 33 years old, and mother of a young son.

I was disturbed listening to the call placed by the killer, Lorain County Correctional Officer, William Dembie. When the connection was made to 911, Dembie asked whom he was talking with as he identified himself to the dispatcher. The operator, when dispatching emergency response personnel, could be heard saying "he's a CO, I know him personally." The dispatcher was upset, trying to maintain composure, you could hear it in her voice.

Click below to listen to the 911 call (Language may not be appropriate for all audiences):

Mobile users click here: http://5.wews.com/zrj

Dembie, on the other hand, was matter of fact. "I killed my wife, oh my ex-wife" and he laughed. During the call Dembie said, " I had enough." The 911 operator did her best to keep the situation calm and under control during the call and Dembie, when asked, stated his weapons were locked up and he was not armed.

In a bond hearing last week Dembie's defense attorney stated in the court proceedings that his client was a victim of "battered spouse syndrome," and based on whatever circus carpet he flew in on, was trying to have the charge reduced from murder to manslaughter because of "evidence." The evidence amounts to Dembie's immediate family going on what they may have been told by Dembie not anything they ever witnessed.

Dembie killed his wife because she was ending the marriage and he was furious. What Dembie had enough with was the fact that Holly was no longer able to be controlled by him. A classic, by the book, case of intimate partner violence resulting in homicide.

The prosecutor should likely consider building a time line of events 2-3 weeks before Dembie murdered his wife.

• Take cell phones (is there a tracking device on it), computers, the GPS devices if on one or both of the vehicles (get a print out.)
• If possible find out when the knife was purchased.
• Why was the child with the mother-in-law? Who made those arrangements?
• Go into Dembie's time on the job to see when he punched in or out 20 days prior to establish pattern of conduct.
• Go and secure the phone records from where he worked in Lorraine County to see how many times he called her during working hours.
• Look at the computers in the office where he worked get print out using his sign in access code.
• If possible subpoena his credit card records to see if there was a charge for computer services that could show tracking.
• Speak to the attorney Holly Dembie met with prior to her death.

If William Dembie is a victim of Battered Spouse Syndrome, I will eat my computer board!

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Holly Dembie: Intimate Partner Homicide Interrupted

Last week, just hours after Holly Marie Drake Dembie, 33, was murdered I received an email asking me if I had seen the case. The email also included a request for me to call the sender for further information on Holly and her life with a violent abusive and dangerous man.  I wrote about her life.

Earlier today the Chronicle Telegraph reported that the killer's lawyer is now claiming he was an abused husband and suffers from "battered spouse syndrome." The lawyer is also seeking a bond reduction because "his client" has cooperated with law enforcement.

I will also bet, based on the latest "lies," the defense intends to pursue Crawford vs. Washington, which says the accused has the right, under the 6th Amendment of the Constitution, to be able to face the person who is accusing them, and testimony from others that person may have given information, is not admissible because it's considered hearsay.

The person who told friends, family and the divorce lawyer (she, meaning Holly) sought a consultation to end the marriage pursued that avenue because her estranged husband was "violent, dangerous and stalking her every move." Did she make out a police report? No. Why not? Because she was in fear for her life. The person that lived in fear, Holly, is not here to defend the ridiculous story of a man who, in cold blood, murdered his own wife.

Had Holly, and others who are losing their lives across the country in record numbers, completed the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (also known as the "EAA") those who are murdering in cold blood would not be able to make outrageous claims regarding mental incompetence, unhinged, crime of passion, battered spouse syndrome or whatever else they make up, because the only person able to dispute their weak defense, is dead. AND, if this spouse was the battered husband, he has the same opportunity to create the EAA and present the truth of his statements.

Friends and family attest to fears and abuse which they were told by Holly while she was still alive. The medical examiner, depending on his expertise at the crime scene, along with a blood splatter expert, will be able to testify in court that Holly ran for her life throughout the home that night, all because she was seeking a divorce.

If you are a victim in the middle if chaos, not knowing where to go or what steps to take, before you do anything, complete the abuse affidavit and video. Unlike Holly Marie Drake Dembie, who didn't have the chance at documenting the abuse in her own words, you don't have an excuse.

Week after week I write about these tragedies in hopes those in situations of potential danger with threats to their lives will have a fighting chance because of the information created and provided in the book Time's Up.

Holly Dembie didn't stand a chance at survival, but her words, from beyond the grave, had they been preserved, would have made the case for the prosecution thus removing Crawford vs. Washington.

This admitted killer is a coward. He was not successful in maintaining control over his wife. Holly wanted to be away from the abuse, that's all.

When the local media provides ink to a confessed killer's story telling, they dilute the nature of the horrific crime and the individual who lost their life.

Intimate Partner violence leads to homicide is a serious crime. Now there is a headline!

****

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!
The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Holly Dembie: Life Interrupted

Earlier today I was asked if I had seen the case of Holly Marie Drake Dembie, 33, and the mother of a young child, she was married for 6 years to a violent and dangerous man, a corrections officer now on unpaid administrative leave with the Lorain County Sheriff's Department in Ohio.

In the last year, according to sources in the quiet town of Elyria, just outside of Cleveland, his violent threats and outbursts escalated. Holly was in constant fear of her life. Without notice her husband would stalk her showing up at places in town such as the store, public events, and school creating heated outbursts. He was angry, controlling and jealous of her every move without him. This also was evident as she attended school, working towards her degree at the local college. Holly loved children. She had that special gift and worked as a teachers aid with special needs kids. Holly was a remarkable, patient and loving soul.

Close friends, and a few who knew her since high school, tried to talk and assist her with leaving and finally hiring a lawyer. But, Holly was in fear for her life while also trying to protect her 4 year-old child who was elsewhere at the time of her murder. She did everything she could in her own way to keep things in her dangerous environment calm. That included consulting with an attorney about a divorce.

Her Lorain County Sheriff corrections husband was the one who called 911 to say he killed his wife. According to sources at the crime scene last evening, she ran for her life in the home. As she was running throughout the house to try and get away, he continued to stab her, until she finally fell to the floor.

In an update in the online morning journal, I was pleased to see information about her life. In my opinion, more media sites and newspapers could learn a thing or two about showing who someone was rather then headline the crime and person arrested.

When possible, I never show the photo or say the offender's name on the blog because cases of intimate partner homicides, they will get attention in the months ahead. For Holly Marie Drake Dembie, her life was interrupted by a man authorized as a commissioned law enforcement officer, still under the same oath taken; sworn to serve and protect, who killed this loving woman in cold blood.

Holly Dembie literally felt she had no options to do anything to get out and away from him. Those who knew Holly could do little to help, because like others who are murdered across the county at the hands of those who profess to love them, do not know what to do besides lending a supportive ear.

I just checked various Internet sites in regards to this tragic senseless killing. If everyone in Lorain County who are making comments and offering opinions on the murder could do something in Holly's name, for that next "Holly," so they have a chance at survival, it would go a long way at stopping the bloodshed.

As a daughter of a Chicago violent crimes detective who also murdered my mother, we must take a more effective stance on this epidemic taking away those in our communities across the county.

The person to whom Holly Dembie was joined in marriage will, at a maximum, will only receive 20 years and a $15,000 fine. Or he could use the defense of crime of passion, insanity or unhinged and be out sooner. Her life was worth much more, and so are those who at this very moment are living in the same hell, behind closed doors in your communities.

If churches, businesses, prosecutors offices, social services agencies could buy and donate copies of the book "Time's Up" it would have an enormous impact on those with and without a plan, or as I call it a prescription to combat intimate partner violence that leads to murder.

****

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com