Holly Dembie: Intimate Partner Homicide Interrupted

Last week, just hours after Holly Marie Drake Dembie, 33, was murdered I received an email asking me if I had seen the case. The email also included a request for me to call the sender for further information on Holly and her life with a violent abusive and dangerous man.  I wrote about her life.

Earlier today the Chronicle Telegraph reported that the killer's lawyer is now claiming he was an abused husband and suffers from "battered spouse syndrome." The lawyer is also seeking a bond reduction because "his client" has cooperated with law enforcement.

I will also bet, based on the latest "lies," the defense intends to pursue Crawford vs. Washington, which says the accused has the right, under the 6th Amendment of the Constitution, to be able to face the person who is accusing them, and testimony from others that person may have given information, is not admissible because it's considered hearsay.

The person who told friends, family and the divorce lawyer (she, meaning Holly) sought a consultation to end the marriage pursued that avenue because her estranged husband was "violent, dangerous and stalking her every move." Did she make out a police report? No. Why not? Because she was in fear for her life. The person that lived in fear, Holly, is not here to defend the ridiculous story of a man who, in cold blood, murdered his own wife.

Had Holly, and others who are losing their lives across the country in record numbers, completed the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (also known as the "EAA") those who are murdering in cold blood would not be able to make outrageous claims regarding mental incompetence, unhinged, crime of passion, battered spouse syndrome or whatever else they make up, because the only person able to dispute their weak defense, is dead. AND, if this spouse was the battered husband, he has the same opportunity to create the EAA and present the truth of his statements.

Friends and family attest to fears and abuse which they were told by Holly while she was still alive. The medical examiner, depending on his expertise at the crime scene, along with a blood splatter expert, will be able to testify in court that Holly ran for her life throughout the home that night, all because she was seeking a divorce.

If you are a victim in the middle if chaos, not knowing where to go or what steps to take, before you do anything, complete the abuse affidavit and video. Unlike Holly Marie Drake Dembie, who didn't have the chance at documenting the abuse in her own words, you don't have an excuse.

Week after week I write about these tragedies in hopes those in situations of potential danger with threats to their lives will have a fighting chance because of the information created and provided in the book Time's Up.

Holly Dembie didn't stand a chance at survival, but her words, from beyond the grave, had they been preserved, would have made the case for the prosecution thus removing Crawford vs. Washington.

This admitted killer is a coward. He was not successful in maintaining control over his wife. Holly wanted to be away from the abuse, that's all.

When the local media provides ink to a confessed killer's story telling, they dilute the nature of the horrific crime and the individual who lost their life.

Intimate Partner violence leads to homicide is a serious crime. Now there is a headline!

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This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!
The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Holly Dembie: Life Interrupted

Earlier today I was asked if I had seen the case of Holly Marie Drake Dembie, 33, and the mother of a young child, she was married for 6 years to a violent and dangerous man, a corrections officer now on unpaid administrative leave with the Lorain County Sheriff's Department in Ohio.

In the last year, according to sources in the quiet town of Elyria, just outside of Cleveland, his violent threats and outbursts escalated. Holly was in constant fear of her life. Without notice her husband would stalk her showing up at places in town such as the store, public events, and school creating heated outbursts. He was angry, controlling and jealous of her every move without him. This also was evident as she attended school, working towards her degree at the local college. Holly loved children. She had that special gift and worked as a teachers aid with special needs kids. Holly was a remarkable, patient and loving soul.

Close friends, and a few who knew her since high school, tried to talk and assist her with leaving and finally hiring a lawyer. But, Holly was in fear for her life while also trying to protect her 4 year-old child who was elsewhere at the time of her murder. She did everything she could in her own way to keep things in her dangerous environment calm. That included consulting with an attorney about a divorce.

Her Lorain County Sheriff corrections husband was the one who called 911 to say he killed his wife. According to sources at the crime scene last evening, she ran for her life in the home. As she was running throughout the house to try and get away, he continued to stab her, until she finally fell to the floor.

In an update in the online morning journal, I was pleased to see information about her life. In my opinion, more media sites and newspapers could learn a thing or two about showing who someone was rather then headline the crime and person arrested.

When possible, I never show the photo or say the offender's name on the blog because cases of intimate partner homicides, they will get attention in the months ahead. For Holly Marie Drake Dembie, her life was interrupted by a man authorized as a commissioned law enforcement officer, still under the same oath taken; sworn to serve and protect, who killed this loving woman in cold blood.

Holly Dembie literally felt she had no options to do anything to get out and away from him. Those who knew Holly could do little to help, because like others who are murdered across the county at the hands of those who profess to love them, do not know what to do besides lending a supportive ear.

I just checked various Internet sites in regards to this tragic senseless killing. If everyone in Lorain County who are making comments and offering opinions on the murder could do something in Holly's name, for that next "Holly," so they have a chance at survival, it would go a long way at stopping the bloodshed.

As a daughter of a Chicago violent crimes detective who also murdered my mother, we must take a more effective stance on this epidemic taking away those in our communities across the county.

The person to whom Holly Dembie was joined in marriage will, at a maximum, will only receive 20 years and a $15,000 fine. Or he could use the defense of crime of passion, insanity or unhinged and be out sooner. Her life was worth much more, and so are those who at this very moment are living in the same hell, behind closed doors in your communities.

If churches, businesses, prosecutors offices, social services agencies could buy and donate copies of the book "Time's Up" it would have an enormous impact on those with and without a plan, or as I call it a prescription to combat intimate partner violence that leads to murder.

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This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a CD. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com