Shannon Paolini is Fighting For Her Life

As I write this a young mother is fighting for her life. Shannon Paolini, 27 was shot 5 times as she ran out of her home. The offender, her boyfriend and father of their 2-year old child continued firing at her and then ran back into the home. A stand-off with the Fountain, Colorado, police and swat team lasted over six hours. The outcome, devastating.

Inside police found the two year old son dead from his father's own hand --a gunshot wound to the head. The offender committed suicide. According to reports and the news there was so much poured gasoline in the house it took an additional 3 plus hours before investigators would re-enter the home. Police also found a note of sorts detailing his disturbing thoughts about his relationship that lead up to the shootings. He planned every detail down to the gas container he purchased at Wal-Mart.

Shannon is employed with the El Paso County Sheriff's Office. The Sheriff released a heart felt statement I don't often see in cases of intimate partner violence and homicide that includes starting a fund to assist she and her family.

The El Paso County Sheriff’s Office would like to send out some information regarding our friend and co-worker, Shannon Paolini. She has been employed with us since August 2007, and is a Financial Services Specialist. She is in critical condition at a local hospital and is fighting for her life. She is surrounded by friends and family.

Shannon is an amazing lady. She is never seen at work without a smile. Shannon’s greatest joy is her son and her family. She enjoys physical fitness, dancing, and spending time with family and friends. The El Paso County Sheriff’s Office is providing any and all assistance we can to Shannon and her family. In the near future we will be working to start a fund in Shannon’s name to assist her family with the financial struggles they will be facing in the future. We appreciate the kind words, thoughts and prayers from our community. Sheriff Terry Maketa said, “Our thoughts and prayers are with Shannon, and all friends and family affected by these senseless and tragic events. We also recognize the loss felt by the family of the suspect and the loss of an innocent child.”

Once you are threatened, hit, stalked, questioned in a controlling way, a second chance to save your life, is no longer an option.

“If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, know that there are measures you must take before announcing the end of your relationship. These safety precautions can be found in the book, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship" by Susan Murphy Milano. Don't take things into your own hands without expert guidance.” (Mothers Are Vanishing)

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic,Kelly Rothwell or arefound murdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman, and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

Tina and Bethany Sinclair:" No Man Power to Make An Arrest"

Listen to internet radio with Susan Murphy Milano on Blog Talk Radio

On Friday, February 2, 2001, in a New Hampshire court Eugene Van Bowman plead guilty in court for molesting his daughters when they were pre-teens, as well as his ex girlfriend’s daughter several years later. And Tina and her 15- year old daughter Bethany Sinclair were sharing a home with Eugene Van Bowman on Mountain Road in West Chesterfield, NH. Bowman would return in April to the court for sentencing, he put up bond and was released.

On Saturday evening, February 3, 2001, Tina Sinclair and Bethany Sinclair vanished off the face of the earth. Tina's car was still on the property, as was her cell phone. So I ask if she were "taking off" wouldn't she take her own car and drive to where she was going?

The next day Sunday afternoon, Feb 4, 2001 Tina Sinclair’s step-father went to Bowman’s house for dinner and a haircut. Eugene Van Bowman was cleaning his house with bleach and told the step- father, he and Tina had a fight and she was gone Later that evening Bowman was having a bon-fire and loading garbage into the truck even though he had an on sight dumpster. The step-father helped him load up the truck. Bowman was disposing of items belonging to both Bethany and Tina. Why? In my opinion Bowman knew they were never returning and with good reason, he killed them.

Witnesses can place Bowman at his previous property in his pick- up truck at the Beal’s Road entrance to Pisgah Park, where a Park Ranger later reported a broken gate.

Even with Eugene Van Bowman’s violent criminal history, police believed his story that Tina and Bethany “took off and he doesn’t know where she went."

Tonight on Intimate Partner Homicide Investigation (show link is at the top of the blog) Co-Host and former prosecutor turned defense attorney Holly Hughes said "hell there is enough circumstantial evidence to prosecute this case right now."

Below is this fine upstanding criminals record:

Alias(es): Bowman, Van
Last Reported Address:
P - 34 Pond Brook Rd West Chesterfield, NEW HAMPSHIRE 03466 Cheshire County Date of Birth: 12/27/1958
Age: 51
Race: White Sex: Male Height: 6'4"
Hair: Brown Eyes: Brown Weight: 225 lbs.
Other Relevant Physical Descriptions:

Scars, Marks, Tattoos, Piercings:
SCARS: Leg, left
Court: Cheshire Adjudication Date: 5/23/2001
Qualifying Offense(s):
NH RSA 632-A:2, II Aggravated Felonious Sexual Assault (Victim under 13 y.o.)
NH RSA 632-A:2, II Aggravated Felonious Sexual Assault (Victim under 13 y.o.)
NH RSA 632-A:2, II Aggravated Felonious Sexual Assault (Victim under 13 y.o.)

Status of Parole, Probation or Supervised Release: Parole Date: 4/10/2016
Criminal History: Agg. Fel. Sex. Assault 632-A:2 Conviction Date: 2/6/2001
Agg. Fel. Sex. Assault 632-A:2 Conviction Date: 2/6/2001
Agg. Fel. Sex. Assault 632-A:2 Conviction Date: 2/6/2001

EUGENE VAN BOWMAN is required to register under New Hampshire law.

If you listen to the show all the information is presented, now what has to happen is for the Attorney General of New Hampsire to send in some extra help over at the Chesterfield Police Department. You see they are telling folks and the family "don't have the manpower to work on this case."

(Susan Murphy Milano, is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Psychopathy Education for more information visit http://www.saferelationships.com/ and is the author of the new book "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and where ever books are sold.)

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

W.T.F.

In case you missed this post over on the Time's Up Blog it is definately worth repeating. I hope you will consider spreading this important message on every social network on the Internet and other sites like facebook, blogs send it to the media and let those voices silenced, be finally heard. My mother who was a victim in this war of intimate partner homicide taught me prior to her murder at the hands of my father, "if you believe it, own it, if you own it, it will be so." Help me make it happen. Thank you!

As I sip my coffee with cream, pecking away on my computer, reading the bloodshed in the headlines, I am split between those whom you will never read about because they got out of their abusive and violent relationships, and those whose permanent residence is now in a cemetery, their violent lives marked by a single headstone tablet coldly displaying the name, date of birth through the date they died.

There are many mothers and their children who are living their lives without violence because they had a plan to get out of their toxic and abusive relationship. Some enlisted an army of friends, neighbors and relatives, others, by shear will and determination, got out, but you will not ever read about them, they are safe. Some packed their bags and made a new life for themselves across country, others did not stray very far from familiar territory and yet were still able to rebuild their lives.

So why are we seeing bloodshed at epidemic proportions? What are those victims who are being killed doing wrong? And what are those who remain alive doing correctly?

Are the women who are murdered along with their children assisted by a society of pure ignorance when it pertains to domestic violence and intimate partner homicide? Look around folks, you cannot pick up a paper or turn on the news without hearing how another woman was murdered by someone they new intimately. You can't help but read nasty comments on the internet, not from strangers, but, often by friends and realtives who knew both the victim and the abuser, trying to defend the actions of a cold blooded killer, and blaming a victim because she filed for divorce or took the children. Has anyone ever asked the question, "why?" Or is it easier to turn our backs and call victims liars or drama queens even after they or their innocent children are murdered? The phrase "shame on you" (I have a different phase more along the lines W.T.F. but I cannot use it here) to all Americans comes to mind especially when I know in 80% of these tragedies the victims did not have to die. They would still be alive if not for human ignorance. I do not have enough posts to list all those who are dead, but, if I did, it would surpass those killed in both the Vietnam and Iraq war combined.

American soldiers are properly trained and given weapons as they fight and go into battle for our country. Victims of violence during their battle are often given little more then lip service from the legal system and society.

For those who got out of the stalking and domestic violence relationships, do not think for one minute they have or had it easy. These victims swallowed their dose of being beaten and raped within an inch of their lives, not knowing from one moment to the next what their abuser or former partner was going to do to them or their children. Somehow they made it through to see a new sunrise the next morning, and many began, after the beatings and verbal threats against them, a plan to exist in their toxic environments with their lives. It was not easy as many of these women who came and tried before them did not make it and let's remember where those victims are, dead. But, many abuse victims who are now alive had help, be it a shelter for women, a church, an attorney who took favor on them representing them in their divorce or custody case for little or no charge. Or in some situations, they were able to get hold of advocates like me.

With all my heart and soul I would like to believe that someone is listening, maybe even Oprah Winfrey. Let us show the world thay someone cares about the number of murders wreaking havoc in America on the lives of innocent victims of violence, not always women, men too, and are ready to be part of a revolution demanding that the victims of this war be given a level playing field to fight and stay alive. I, for one, am tired of singing in a choir where the lives of victims murdered out weighs the millions of Americans' who are able to be a voice and sing loudly for effective change.


Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS

Drew Peterson Trial "I Practiced On One and Perfected On The Other?"

It was nice of the captain ( the judge on the Drew Peterson case) to allow the passengers to leave the trial ship gracefully. The Will County, IL, court in my opinion provided life rafts for a quick exit with their excellent legal reputations in tact.




The Peterson Story Wordpress site, also known as Justice Cafe, (the only site reporting and following the Peterson case) emailed attorney Andrew Abood of Abood Law and asked him if he wanted to comment on Wednesday's motion to withdraw from the defense team of Drew Peterson. The site administrators specifically asked about the mention in Christy Gutowski’s story for the Daily Herald of a "suicide defense." The full article is HERE.

In my opinion, if Drew Peterson were to be acquitted ( I pray that does not happen) by a jury, will his legal marshmallow roaster have a pocket full of monogramed ink pens and a box of chicken wings with sauce under his arms as he attempts to meet with book publishers to secure a book deal for his client?

What would the name of the book be titiled? In my opinion, it should be called "I Practiced On One And Perfected On The Other."

Psychology Today: "Murphy Milano's Exceptional Victims Handbook is Here"

Just when the public has demonstrated a belief that domestic violence is a crime of the past, the case of survivor producer Bruce Beresford-Redman makes the headlines. It seems that all the ingredients for a domestic homicide are present.

And if this case is not enough, we have seen domestic violence creep back into pop culture and celebrity justice - a la the Brown case and the Charlie Sheen cases, as examples. There is no arguing that there is a problem, but like everything else one can’t help to ask: Is there a solution? While leaving the abuse is the only solution that is often a lot easier said than done. But leaving and preparing just got one step easier for victims thanks to tireless victim’s advocate Susan Murphy Milano. In her book “Times Up”, Murphy Milano recognizes that domestic violence in not simply a crime de jour. It a real crime that was around well before OJ and will still exist well beyond Brown and Sheen.

[Robin Sax: is a former deputy district attorney, a legal analyst with NBC and the author of predators and child molesters. ]

"To say that Susan Murphy Milano has hit the nail on the head (again)
is a total understatement! Murphy Milano's book is well crafted and timely.
She not only discusses the "problem" but takes it one step further in this
soup-to-nuts handbook. In twelve easy to read chapters, she has created
a realistic prescription: offering real-life solutions that will have long term
benefits in the criminal justice system of domestic violence."

To read the entire article click HERE.

The Dana Pretzer Show

The Dana Pretzer Show On Scared Monkeys Radio – Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 – Special Guests: Robin Sax, Susan Murphy Milano,

Dr. Clint Van Zandt & Randy Tat

Tonight Dana welcomes special guests:

 Robin Sax - Former ADA and Author has an update of Conrad Murray, the doctor at the center of the death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

 Susan Murphy Milano – Author and Victims Advocate discusses the release of her new book ‘Times Up’ A Guide on How To Leave and Survive Abusive Relationships.

 Dr Clint Van Zandt will be discussing the anniversary of Waco and the stand off with the Branch Davidians and Davis Koresh.

David Koresh (Branch Davidian Compound). Van Zandt was sent to the scene reluctantly. Someone had decided that Van Zandt’s Christian faith might leave him susceptible to Koresh’s evangelical teachings. Van Zandt spent hours with Koresh, working diligently to pierce his veil of spirituality, trying to make sense of his wild ramblings while at the same time trying to talk some sense into him. Koresh addressed Van Zandt as “Brother Clint” because he knew Clint was a practicing Christian. Van Zandt says this drawn out ordeal took an emotional toll on him at a time in his career when he was “one fuse short of burning out.”

 Randy Tat - New Art Exhibit at the Zimmer Museum In Beverly Hills featuring This years’ theme of “knowledge”