My guess if you are a victim of relationship abuse, you have had learn how to survive. . If you talk back, disagree with the person you already understand the heavy price paid when "you do not follow orders or do what you are told".
But you are wrong. You can get help and get out safely with a plan. Before you begin it is very important that you be the very best actress you can. Do not let this person who is abusing you or anyone you do not trust with your life in on your plans to leave.
During each step, you must be ten steps ahead of the person abusing you. It is dangerous when you in a violent relationship and are preparing to leave to discuss any plans of ending the relationship with that individual. You must not provoke any conflict or agument that may be going on once you have begun the process of leaving. If you do, you take the chance of being harmed with bodily injury.
If you have lived day in and day out with a controlling manipulative individual, leaving will be difficult for you at the begining. You have been brainwashed to feel as though you are worthless, no good to anyone.
Reverse that thought, you are with that person so you can't be "worthless", now can you?
Start to gather copies of important papers like: Birth certificates (of you and the children) Make sure you have certified copies. Social Security cards Marriage certificate Insurance policies Make a record of all bank account numbers (including any in your childrens names). Is there a 401K plan at work, IRA, or an account at a credit union, if so, make copies. Make copies of your income tax returns for the past three years. Make copies of all titles or property information including major appliance manuals and guarentees Try and get a couple of your spouses pay stubs, make copies. Are there any stocks, savings bonds, etc., make copies. Contact your doctor and dentist and get copies of all medical records which you can either pick-up in person, or have them mailed to a trusted relative or friend for safe keeping. Childrens school records. Passports for you and the children. Prescriptions for any medications you and the children take (if possible, stock up). Spare keys to the house, garage, car, safety deposit box, etc. If you wear prescription glasses or a hearing aid device, get an extra set made and keep them with your important documents. Title to the car. Contact the credit bureau and request a copy of your credit report, and remember to send a letter.
Try and save money and open a bank account in your name. Just before your ready to leave, go to your bank, and withdraw what you can (this should be done on the day youre preparing to leave, because as money is withdrawn, it will be reflected on the account balance either on that day or the following day. Don't take chances, especially if an emergency arises and your partner must suddenly use their ATM card or withdraw monies and discover the account balance has changed.