The Children Left Behind: Witnesses to Murder

On Tuesday just hours apart in Texas and New York, distraught, angry and violent men murdered the women in their lives.  In Texas, Crystal Harris 31 years of age is shot to death by her former boyfriend.  This individual murdered Crystal in front of his own young child.  Whom after mommy is shot several times runs around the residence screaming in terror.  And in front of his daughter, he then kills himself.

In New York the father of four children sends the eldest age 13, after school to go and get the other three kids, when they return they discover their mother Sherrelle Hayes stabbed to death in the home by their own father who is discovered hanging in an upstairs bedroom.  

I'm at a loss.  Is there nothing we can do other than report or highlight one tragedy after another and provide some type of intervention prior to these senseless murders?  We are failing our children, communities and anyone who lives in silence behind closed doors as a  result of intimate partner violence.  There are those who knew the Hayes's as a nice, warm friendly couple.  But prior to the deaths a lot happened that no one ever saw, because it was kept hidden.  Yes, in recent months Mr. Hayes had issues and was suffering from bouts of depression, but his action does not excuse murder.

The Hayes children are of the age where their parent's crime scene will remain an unwanted permanent tattoo in their lives.  For weeks and months to come they will say out loud, Why? Why did dad kill mom?  And the adults now is charge of their welfare will hush them and respond by saying "it's okay, we have to move on." After a while the children will grow weary of asking a question for which there is never going to be the answer they can comprehend. They will each experience such horrific nightmares and perhaps depression, medication prescribed by mental health professionals will be for the rest of their lives.  At school they will always be labeled as "those kids, the ones whose father killed their mother."  In their permanent school record the events surrounding the tragedy will also follow them.

The daughter of Crystal Harris so young to have witnessed this bloodbath will require a loving environment and skilled mental health trauma professions around her for a very long time.  

These two father's choose to murder their children's mother's.  They did far more damage than wiping two women off the face of the earth.  The men murdered the spirit and hope in each of their children!

May God Bless and keep each one of them safe.

Young Girl Sees Parents Die in Apparent Murder-Suicide

Houston, TX:  A man fatally shot the mother of his young daughter while the child watched before police say he shot himself in an apparent murder-suicide in northwest Houston late Tuesday morning.  The incident occurred about 10:50 a.m. at the Tidwell Estates, a gated apartment complex at 1200 W. Tidwell, according to the Houston Police Department.  Police said the pair had been arguing, and at some point the man pulled the gun and shot the woman several times.  » more at Houston Chronicle

Kids Arrive Home From School to Find Parents Dead in Murder-Suicide

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Bellmore, NY:  Four young children arrived home from school on Long Island yesterday to find their mom and dad dead in an apparent murder suicide, cops said.  The oldest child, a 13-year-old girl, had arrived first at the family’s tidy colonial home in leafy North Bellmore — where her fire-inspector father, Thomas Hayes, spoke to her through the door.  “He told her to pick up her three siblings from school and return,’’ said Nassau Deputy Inspector Kenneth Lack.  »more at New York Post

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime Susan is also the daughter of a Chicago Violent Crimes detective who murdered her mother before committing suicide.