The Latest on Forbes: Global Terrorism And The World Conference Of Women In Washington, D.C.

It’s already Monday in other places like Hong Hong and Sidney, Australia. Wherever you live, you can bet someone is weeping and saying prayers over their recently buried loved one, kneeling on cold, hard ground over one who was murdered and silenced by intimate partner violence.


One out of every three women around the globe has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime, and the person who is controlling and violent toward her is either a former, current or newly severed relationship. Yet, when we read about a bride being burned or a woman stoned to death in a third-world country, we gloss over the information provided in the news story, often dismissing those killings as uncivilized, excusing the inhumane murders as if to say, “That’s halfway across the globe.”  To read the rest of the article click the link below:

Crime, She Writes

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/crime/2012/02/26/global-terrorism-and-the-world-conference-of-women-in-washington-d-c/

Ignorance is the Leading Cause of Murder in Intimate Partner Violence

I receive quite a few private emails blasting me for writing the truth after a victim is found dead or murdered and the boyfriend or husband ends their lives in suicide.  People that write or leave comments appearing on the blog, often defending the actions of a killer, is out of pure ignorance of the nature of the crime.  Making excuses such as mental illness, they served in the military, grew up in an abusive household, post traumatic stress syndrome, to a drug and alcoholic problems, the list of excuses is endless.

The mindset of the general public seemingly looks everywhere around a tragedy, except the obvious.  If a man or a woman murders someone with whom they had or have a relationship, it is calculated and premeditated from a state of escalation.  But, to those who profess to know the killers of intimate partner homicide, the reactions to the crime are not realistic from my viewpoint.  Having a bad day, saying the individual was driven to do it, or there is so much chaos in that persons' life is often a justification for the criminal act by those who knew them.  When you make these types of remarks you are defending a cold blooded murderer, whether it be your friend or family member. I do not intend to demean your grief or loss, only to put the crime, and the criminal, in the proper perspective.

Calling out someone, such as myself, tearing them down personally for trying to keep victims and their families alive, is a crime in and of itself.  The pattern of conduct by my police officer father, likely from the moment I came into the world, is no different than those I write about each day.  My father's pattern of conduct was the predictor to her murder and his suicide.  Unless you live behind the walls of daily terror and the unknown, you haven't a clue what it's like to know if you will wake up the following morning.  Intimate partner homicide took away the lives of not only my parents, but my brother, kid sister and me.

Writing about those victims who did not reach out to someone such as myself in time, who did not know to read the information prescribed in the book Time's Up, or were unable to prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, is my way to shout to the world that the victims mattered, even in their untimely deaths. My hope is the world will stop closing it's eyes  when innocent children like Charlie and Braden Powell die, whose mother Susan Cox is still missing, and be forced to watch that no more children are blown up out of rage from this world into the next.


I have lost everything to the epidemic of intimate partner violence. Personally, I have nothing left to lose by calling out the bloody truth.

When you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem. So, instead of chastising my writing, make it part of your life to prevent the next incident of homicide in your own backyard.


Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime. Her new book Holding My Hand Through Hell published by Ice Cube Press will be in book stores in September.

Randy "Amanda" Lehrer: Intimate Partner from Missing to Murder

Her body stuffed in a 55 gallon drum, encased in cement, discovered by law enforcement, hours ago in the New Jersey basement of the marital home, the remains of Randy "Amanda" Lehrer, age 32.

What is it going to take to stop the bloodshed? Mother's wanting out of their violent relationships, instead, filling up cemeteries across the county.

One significant change that must be implemented:

When a mother suddenly vanishes for the mental health of the surviving children; residential care must go to another relative. Randy's daughter was in danger. Anything could have happened while in the "care" of this individual. Care being the operative word since the child is too young to speak.

This is not about the law. This is not about guilt or innocence. It goes to the mental health and welfare of the minor children. In my opinion, the children are not in a healthy environment when left in the care of a potential "person of interest" or suspect.

Take the recent case of Susan Cox (Powell) her father-in-law just arrest on a multiple of charges that include child porn. Is that a healthy environment for the kids? No it was not.

In many of the intimate partner missing person suspected homicides the children are often in "the know" (if they can speak) as to what happened to their mother. Out of fear, the children are often silenced. Or they hear while in another room in the home enough to know "mommy is gone." Because of the unspoken fear, they remain quiet. A clever offender knows keeping the kids close they cannot be questioned by law enforcement.

Why not just do an automatic move of the kids when a report surfaces to a relatives home? With the understanding, the children cannot be questioned.

There are too many cases of intimate partner homicides, case after case where the surviving children suffer the most. I, as a homicide survivor of inmate partner related murder would like to see the State of New Jersey stand up and adopt policies within the current Statues to change not only how these I.P.V. cases are investigated, but, make allowances for the surviving children to thrive minus the fear of remaining in a mine field.

The husband was arrested and charged with Randy's homicide a few hours ago.

Randy Amanda Lehrer's life must have more importance to the State of New Jersey then another intimate partner homicide. When her daughter is old enough to speak, we have to be ready to do more then respond with a shrug of a shoulder while kicking the dirt on the ground.

Time's Up!

http://mothersarevanishing.blogspot.com/2011/08/randy-amanda-lehrer-missing-from-jersey.html

http://www.hudsonreporter.com/view/full_stories_home/15232837/article-Thinking-of-Amanda-Community-leaders-and-residents-organize-for-missing-mom-?instance=jersey_city_story_left_column

http://murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/2011/09/clear-present-danger-randy-amanda.html

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2011/09/24/lehrer-body-found.html

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit included in the book "Time's Up" is a Solution

An “Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video has the additional psychological benefit of being forced to face reality and admit that the potential for the ultimate kind of violence exists…and that if it occurs the perpetrator will be held accountable.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit: A Victim’s Voice (c)(TM)(R)

Domestic violence or intimate partner victims now are able to provide information, in their own words, about the fears, dangers, experiences they have had at the hands of their abuser. The" Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" or "EAA" records victim's stories, histories, and experiences which are preserved and stored on their behalf. These videos will provide answers to the many questions, allegations, and fears that arise when a person has disappeared, gone missing, or been found dead.

In relationships it is important to equip one's self with the proper tools before announcing "it is over." That, is what cost Bea Dickey her life. Unfortunately, hers life mirrors thousand of others across the county, victims of intimate partner violence, trying to break away from their abusive relationships with their lives in tact.

If Beatrice Dickey, or any woman found murdered or is reported missing, had done an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, ON TAPE, from following the information in the “Time’s Up" book ,they would be able to describe:

- threats made against her life or wellbeing, including details of how the perpetrator would carry out the threat
- incidents of past abuse that the victim has endured
- admissions or comments made to her about other victims or people abused
- where evidence or weapons would or could be located
- possible alibis that the perpetrator would make up in his defense (including identification of people who could be co-defendant’s or co-suspects)
- portray visible injuries or marks

Just think if we incorporate the only effective plan in the country and have it available for every prosecutor, law enforcement, church, family law office and social service agency across the country, lives would be saved.

Through our corporate and security technology partners we bring the proprietary training to you and your company. And you can now be trained and certified to provide the "EAA" for your clients or within your law enforcement and legal communities or private company. If you are in law enforcement, private investigations, a lawyer practicing in family related matters including custody, a social worker, medical care provider, human resource or are with an employee assistance program or a direct insurer such as Blue Cross and Blue Shield, Zurich N.A., AIG, Anthem, Liberty Mutual, State Farm, AllState or Travelers.

Below is the video example of what someone does as they prepare:

If you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"fromCourage Network on Vimeo.

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence cases and prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team atManagement Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host ofThe Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire

Time Clock in Missing Person Cases

Last week Devin Ivey, 22, disappeared while with her husband from a budget motel in South Carolina on June 9, 2011. Her family immediately contacted law enforcement when they suspected something was wrong.

In many cases, when a person goes missing and they are married or in a relationship, friends and family can be hesitant to alert the authorities. The reason is the person is an adult and if they had little to no contact with the loved one they may wait it out for a few days, or sometimes weeks. In this case thank goodness the family acted immediately. Devin Ivey was a victim of intimate partner abuse that resulted in homicide.

Law enforcement wasted not one second looking for the young woman. The Cue Center for Missing Persons and their tireless volunteers were also called in for the search. The organization, headquartered in Wilmington, North Carolina, assists thousands of families each year with support on what to do, how to get the word out for their loved one, and a 24-hour access to volunteers who are there for the families of the missing.

Locating Devin Ivey, in my opinion, was because of trained law enforcement working in cooperation, certified and skilled searchers and dogs trained, and also certified, to recover bones and bodies.

Recovery of Devin Ivey was from the Cue's Center for Missing Persons own "Oscar" a certified live scent dog, and certified volunteer searchers, Bernie Thornton and Connie Braddock.

The CUE Center is now in Valliant, Oklahoma where they will search for Hope Meek over the weekend. In part because one hell of a detective with OSBI continued to work this case. The leads and tips provided is why the CUE Center will be searching for her.

Hope Meek resided on Section Line Road in Valliant, Oklahoma with her husband and their three young children. Her husband told authorities that he saw Meek inside their home during the day on February 21, 2002. She has never been heard from again. She not reported missing for five days.

Time on a clock, especially in cases of intimate partner violence, means everything the moment someone goes missing. The success of finding Devin Ivey was because searchers and trained volunteers were brought in immediately.Most importantly, the case was registered with a missing persons organization.

Each day we hear or see missing persons cases involving wives, girlfriends and mothers, husbands, boyfriends and fathers. The families are frozen with trauma and the fear of not knowing what steps to take; especially as it relates to a spouse or significant other. They are often afraid to rock the boat with that person. A family does not want to believe the person with whom their loved one is in a relationship with could be capable of harm.

If you want to find a missing person, allowing the trail to go cold without trained searchers is, in my opinion, a crime. That is your loved one. Aside from making a missing persons report, if you are a family member, either register with a missing persons agency or request that law enforcement contact an organization immediately so you, as a family member, know what direction and steps you need to take. They will work with you and law enforcement to combine efforts on your behalf.  CUE Center for Missing Persons can be reached online at http://ncmissingpersons.org or by phone for assistance with registering your case.

The CUE Center is the "red cross" to search and recovery and depends on the public for support. The next time you apply for a Visa Card or when your current card is about to expire click the link below and know that each time you use the special Visa charge card it's a charge in searching for the missing:

http://www.ncmissingpersons.org/apply-for-a-visa-platinum-card-and-help-the-missing/

Monica Caison is the founder of the CUE Center for Missing Persons an organization dedicated to bringing home the missing, and giving resolution to families with a missing loved one. Monica and CUE do this through advocacy and physical ground searches all over the country without cost to the family. 


Monica works 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year to help over 9000 familes since CUE’s inception in 1994. Even more remarkable, Monica never takes a paycheck!

Tina Adovasio: Missing Mother of Intimate Partner Violence-Bronx New York

Edwin Coello, an ex NYPD officer, claims, "he doesn't know where she is." He is referring to his estranged wife, and mother of his 5 year old daughter, Tina Adovasio, who has been missing from Bronx, NY since Friday, March 11, 2011.

According to the NY Daily News, Edwin Coello has a long history of domestic violence charges, and was fired from the police force in 2000 for violence against his first wife. As usual, history in violent homes repeats itself, and his marriage to Tina Adovasio was no exception. Records show that Coello was charged several times with violence against her, and just last month Tina filed for divorce, obviously without a secure plan in place for her safety.

Tina Adovasio, a 40 year old nurse, is the mother of four children, who her own mother, Adrienne Susco, is quoted as saying, "He lied and told the cops she had run off before and left the kids," Susco said. "Never, ever would she leave her children." As in just about all other cases where a mother goes missing, a family member makes this statement.

Coello has been questioned by authorities, but denies any involvement with Tina's vanishing; he has retained a lawyer, spurring investigators to take out a search warrant for his car which he refused to allow them to search voluntarily.

Coello admits to having an argument with Tina the night she disappeared, but says that she stormed out of their apartment, leaving everything behind, including her children. The most incriminating piece of information has been a blurry tape of Coello dragging a large duffel bag from the home, reportedly "large enough to contain a body."

The ingredients are all there, once again, for the stew that many missing mothers find themselves in. A past history of domestic violence, so bad that they interfered with his job as a police officer, a wife that had had enough and boldly made plans to end the relationship, and the fact that he was the last person to see her, all adds up to a presumption of guilt. Although not yet charged, nor convicted, and ultimately presumed innocent, Edwin Coello joins the ranks of Scott Peterson, Mark Hacking, Drew Peterson, Shon Pernice, and recently convicted murderer, Doug Stewart, as another man who thinks his wife just "ran off."

Another family is devastated by the not knowing where their loved one is, along with four children who deserve to know what has happened to their mother. Of course, hope is always there that she is found alive, perhaps safely escaping the anger and wrath of a man who's repeatedly beaten and abused her.


Tina Adovasio is described as 5-foot-5 and 135 pounds with a slim build. She was last seen wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and Ugg boots.
Anyone with information is urged to call Crime Stoppers at 1 800 577 TIPS (8477). The public can also submit their tips by logging onto the Crime Stoppers website.

If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, know that there are measures you must take before announcing the end of your relationship. These safety precautions can be found in the book, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship" by Susan Murphy Milano. Don't take things into your own hands without expert guidance.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Prosecutor Gets Conviction: Trial of Venus Stewert

"Venus Stewart vanished while walking out to her mailbox on April 26, 2010, I think more than one person may have been involved. Her husband, in my opinion, likely enlisted the help of someone. She was caught by surprise. Once secured for transport and still alive, One person possibly had her legs and feet the other held the upper body and she was thrown into the car, driven to a different location where the abuser made certain his face was also the last his victim saw before she was killed."

Late last week, after 12 grueling days of testimony, a Michigan jury found Doug Stewart guilty of the murder of his wife Venus Stewart who went missing from her parent’s home in Michigan on April 26, 2010. This case was also about one hell of a Prosecutor John McDonough who forged ahead to try a case without a body. Not an easy task. But, he had enough circumstantial evidence and proof beyond a reasonable doubt "that Douglas Stewart was found guilty by a jury of first-degree premeditated murder and conspiracy to commit first-degree premeditated murder."

This case also was about the team work of law enforcement whom tracked cell phone records, receipts and lifted a finger print from a key piece of evidence and immediately got it to the lab.

It is not likely that Doug Stewart, who will be sentenced in a few weeks, will disclose to authorities where her body can be found. Not uncommon from a cowardly murderer who has so much anger and contempt for the mother of his children that his last act of control is to remain silent and let the family continue to suffer.

Anyone with information on the case is asked to contact Michigan State Police White Pigeon Post at 269-483-7611 Rockford Regional Dispatch Center, 616-866-6666.

The tragic case of Venus Stewart should be a wake-up call to anyone involved in victim or battered women services and family law practice to potential victims of homicide. When a victim follows the "prescription" and information provided in the book,they have a greater chance of staying alive. Any person considering a divorce action, separating or ending a relationship, needs to get the book. With the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit should something happen and the person vanishes, completing the "EAA" removes the burden by surviving families members to have cases of intimate partner homicide investigated and those responsible immediately arrested.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving their relationship. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available on Amazon.com, we can send it to you via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is timesupforjustice@gmail.com

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.







Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs.http://pamelachapmanl.biz Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. She is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

Liz Seccuro, Author of “Crash Into Me” Special Guest and the Unsolved Murder of Patty Vaughan on The Susan Murphy Milano Show “Time’s Up!”

The Susan Murphy Milano Show

“Time’s Up!”

Thursday, February 24

2pm-3pm:

Special Guest:

Liz Seccuro

As a 17 year old student at the University of Virginia, justice was no doubt the last thing in Liz Seccuro’s mind. However, that quickly changed when she became a victim of rape in a fraternity bedroom. Liz and her parents contacted local authorities, as well as campus authorities, she was examined at a local hospital, all the proper reports were made, and yet, with jurisdiction questions and the Dean of Students and the University doing nothing in her behalf, it went no further.

Seccuro graduated and went on to get married and start a family when, out of the blue, her attacker made contact with her. In an effort to complete an AA 12 step program he apologized, but it only fueled Seccuro’s fears for her safety and the safety of her family, and after 21 years, she filed charges. Liz Seccuro forced herself through panic and anxiety to bring about justice for herself and for other victims of rape, exposing the attitudes of college campuses, as well as the

justice system, and shines a light on the lack of concern for rape victims.

“Crash Into Me: A Survivor’s Search for Justice” tells the riveting story of Liz Seccuro’s ordeal.

This brave account reveals an alarming array of mishandling, poor judgment, and obfuscation or outright lies from university officials and from students at the party, and shines light on a systemic lack of concern and care given to rape victims. (Publisher’s Weekly)

3pm-4pm:

Monica Caison from CUE Center for Missing persons will be presenting the case of missing mother of three, Patty Vaughan.

Patty has been missing under suspicious circumstances since Christmas Day, 1996, and may possibly be a victim of intimate partner homicide.

Circumstances of Disappearance
Vaughan was last seen between 18.30 – 21.00 by her estranged husband at their residence in Wilson County,

Texas on December 25, 1996.

Patty and her husband began a trial separation in October 1996. He moved into an apartment in San Antonio, Texas and Patty remained at their

residence on Oak Park Road in La Vernia, Texas with their three children. The couple had been married since 1985. Patty was dating a former boyfriend in December 1996 and the relationship apparently caused an argument between Patty and her estranged husband at her home on December 25, 1996.

She is believed to have driven off after an argument with her husband.

Her husband told authorities that Patty left the house alone on December 25 and simply vanished. He filed for divorce from his wife on December 26, one day after Patty was last seen. Other family members reported her as a missing person to authorities. Patty’s blue Dodge Caravan was discovered abandoned with a flat tire on December 26, one day after she was last seen. The vehicle was located on Loop 1604 in South Bexar County, approximately 5 miles from Patty’s employer and 15 miles from her home. Tests revealed that the tire had been intentionally deflated.

Investigators searched her residence and vehicle and discovered blood inside the van, on the walls and floor of Patty’s bedroom and on a mop inside the house. Someone had attempted to clean the blood from the premises prior to discovery. DNA testing proved that the blood was Patty’s. She has never been located and no arrests have been made in connection with her case.

Foul play is suspected in Patty’s disappearance due to the circumstances involved.

We will be joined by Patty’s sister, Barb Kinsey to examine the case.

http://ncmissingpersons.org

Monica will be broadcasting from the search for Krishonda Townsend from Mineral Wells, TX and will give us an update.

Known as the “Jane Wayne of Justice,” Susan Murphy Milano always stands up as a voice for those who are silenced in a world of intimidation and violence within their homes and in courtrooms across the country.

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Here Women Talk is a fresh, new spot for women to socialize, inspire and learn from each other. I know you will want to join in the interactive social network as well as listen to the radio broadcast each week. Join us in the chat room, socialize and ask questions!

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

Fear Factor

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when she announces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

To illustrate the danger, let's consider the case of Utah's Susan Powell, a wife and mother who has not been seen or heard from since December 6, 2009 Hers is a familiar scenario, one that occurs in the majority of abused women cases across the country. If one takes a close look at the evidence, in my opinion, the most logical conclusion is that Susan Powell was murdered.

Susan Powell was a stockbroker with two young sons, a devoted mother and likely the person in the marriage with a larger paycheck than her husband, Josh. Over time, the marriage reportedly turned controlling, with Josh insisting on knowing what Susan was doing when not under his radar. We've all seen the news reports, including that he demanded she tell him how much she spent on herself and for household goods and services. In this type of case, the fights build up from yelling to shoving. A bedroom door is slammed with greater frequency, and the couple drifts apart.

Many abused women hope that having children will change the behavior of an abusive mate. They hope the abuser will turn his/her life around for the sake of the children and that the result will finally be a happy home life. In the Powell case, that didn't happen. Pregnant with her second child, perhaps under circumstances beyond her control (she could have been forced as some are in the marriage), Susan brings another life into a world three years later where anger and violent outbursts become commonplace. During this time Susan likely announces, the marriage is over. Perhaps making statements such as, "we need to divorce" or "this is not fair to the children and I can no longer go on living this way."

There is a point for many abused women when they verbally announce the steps to end the abuse that lays the foundation for an abuser to begin thinking about a course of action. Around this time an abused woman begins confiding in co-workers or close friends. As we later learned from authorities, that is exactly what Susan did.

For the alleged offender, I will use Josh Powell as an example. Now he is formulating a plan no different from the plans of other violent persons: one born of anger and desperation. Anger because the person is leaving and ending the relationship. Desperation over what he (the abuser) will be forced to carry out if the person with whom he is in a relationship cannot be persuaded to stay.

This plan remains in the abuser's mind, of course, until he see signs of movement. In this case, perhaps Susan was whispering on the phone to someone, and when Josh walked into the room she quickly changed her tone or ended the phone call. Or he learned that Susan set up a bank account and believed she was hiding money so she and the kids could leave.

The signs of movement spark Josh or any potential abuser to think of the next level. They think to themselves, Okay, she is going to leave me. I will not let that happen. He acts as though nothing is wrong but, when she goes to sleep, Josh rummages through her car looking for evidence of her plan, a bank receipt or an unusual transaction or charge. Maybe in her purse he checks the cell phone for any unusual numbers he does not recognize. Or goes through the computer and checks the browser to see her activity.

He finds something and his anger is elevated, his heart is racing, but he remains calm and says nothing to Susan. A smile comes to his face because he "caught her," and he figures she will pay one way or the other at a later date.

Around this time Susan begins sending e-mails about the abuse and threats she has endured by Josh to a trusted circle of friends. Maybe she keeps a detailed log with dates and times of the incidents.

Now Josh does what I label the "smell change." Susan is acting strange and, like cologne,
Josh can literally (as with most abusers) sense when their environment has shifted. Perhaps Susan is verbalizing her unhappiness with greater frequency. Maybe she stands up for herself during a fight where months before Susan would have backed down and gone to her room without incident.

It is very difficult for any abused women to hide that spark of empowerment from a clever abuser. They (the abuser) smell it as sure as a fox entering a coop filled with chickens.

It's now that most abusers decide to implement their plans. He has thought about it from the moment it entered his mind. The children are sleeping and the couple gets into a heated argument. At this point possible scenarios vary. Here is one example: Josh in his rage could have knocked her unconscious and carried her out to the car. Then, one at a time, he lifts his sleeping boys into the back seat. The family drives to the desert. Susan wakes up and gets out of the car. Josh and she are arguing and he hits or pushes her off an embankment and into a ravine. Josh drives back with the boys to the house where he is questioned by authorities.

In many ways, the case of Susan Powell appears no different from the millions of cases of violence we never hear about, until women go missing and their bodies are found. Abuse victims often have no official documentation of the abuse because they were too afraid to contact police or obtain a court order of protection. Why? Because better than anyone they (the victims) know it would do them no good. It would only escalate the level of danger.

The one thing an abuse victim knows for certain is the fear that has been planted in them over time by an abuser and the likelihood of imminent danger if it is discovered they plan to leave. I believe this is what happened in Susan Powell’s case; she had only one opportunity to leave and somehow Josh Powell found out.

Susan Powell was last seen at her home, 6254 W. Sarah Circle. She is 5 feet 4 inches tall and weighs about 130 pounds, with brown hair and blue eyes. Anyone with information on her whereabouts is asked to call the West Valley Police Department at 801-840-4000.

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Rothhttp://www.therothshow.com/

Renee Pernice: The Details Lead to Murder

It was January 2, 2009 when Shon Pernice was scheduled to attend a training session with the Missouri National Guard. Instead he picks up his kids at a neighbors home and his wife, Renee, is not there. That evening his daughter from another relationship was concerned she had not heard from heard from Renee, her step-mother. Around 9:30pm the child calls Renee, leaving a voice mail asking her to come home.

Saturday, January 3, at approximately 4:30 am, leaving his 11, 8, and 6 year old children alone (while they were sleeping) Shon Pernice goes to a Fire station. He used his key card to enter Fire Station #5’s hazmat storage area. This area stores chemicals used for clean-up of hazardous spills.  Shon, is an EMT for the Independence, MO fire department assigned to Fire Station #7- not station #5 a huge red flag.

• He does not report to the National Guard that weekend.
• He goes into a facility likely forgetting or not knowing that his key card will be documented and recorded upon entry.
• His story is fabricated.
• He is the last person to see her alive.
• He does not report Renee missing.
• He has a lot to lose financially.

On Saturday, January 3, the step-child calls her mother, according to accounts, the child is scared, her mother picks up the daughter at the Pernice home, cutting short the normal visit. She then contacts someone from Renee’s family. A few hours later a family member calls the Pernice home to speak to Renée.


Shon answered and said that he did not know where Renée was. Family members called 911.

Shon Pernice has given conflicting information on when he last saw Renée. He told a family member it was on January 1. He told police it was on the morning of January 2 between 9 and 10am.

At approximately 3:00 PM, family members met officers at Renee’s home. Family members, along with officers, entered the residence and discovered that no one was home. They also discovered that Renee’s purse, vehicle, personal hygeine items and coat were at the residence. They noticed that Renee’s wallet, credit cards and cell phone were missing, Renee’s car was parked in the garage.

At the Pernice residence a call came in to a family member from Renée’s cell phone. (It was approximately 4pm.) A homeless man had found the phone at approximately 1am that morning (1/3/09), on the ground in the northeast part town, approximately 12 miles from Renée’s home. Police sent a patrolman to pick up Renée’s phone from the homeless person.

The family members, not Shon Pernice, filed a missing person report while at the residence with police.

Another red flag, and important pattern of conduct by the last person to see his wife alive, Shon Pernice and 2 attorneys arrived at the home and ordered the family and police to leave. The attorneys stated Pernice would not be speaking to family members or the police except through them.

On Sunday, January 4, Renée’s family immediately printed up posters and began posting flyers. They also searched portions of Kessler Park close to where Renée’s cell phone was found.

In addition, family contacted the local news stations asking if they would broadcast the news of Renée’s disappearance.

Monday, January 5, Detectives found divorce documents at Renée’s place of employment. They also found a photo of Shon with one of the children and an unknown woman in the file.

Tuesday, January 6, in the evening, Shon drove to Line Creek Park, approximately 1.5 miles from Renée’s house and let the family dog out of the van and left. Detectives who were observing Shon retrieved the dog.

January 7 police to obtain a warrant to search Renée’s house and January 9 for the car.

Nearly 2 years to the date Renee' Pernice vanished, her remains have yet to be recovered. Had the step-child not be alarmed and contacted her mother, a lot more evidence would have likely vanished.

In May of 2010, without a body, Shon Pernice was charged with murder, is being held on a million dollar bond, and is scheduled for trial in June of 2011. What is disturbing is that she may never be located because of the chemicals, in my opinion, used when he killed her. The time line of when the children went to bed and when Pernice left the residence is important, that is when he disposed of her body. Where he had it hidden is anyone's guess, but, it had to be a safe enough place for him to return, a place only he knew, where no one would suspect.

The details a week prior are also important to the case, including cell phone records, purchases at hardware stores, his time cards at work, the strange woman in a photo with he and the kids. His fire work boots and frankly any shoes in his truck, locker at work, the house and on the property are important evidence along with credit card activity 6 months prior. If they can identify the woman from the photo, her cell phone records and credit card activity should also be considered as this is someone who might unknowingly make purchases for him,  or secure a cell phone and have packages delivered to her.

The pattern of conduct of Renee Pernice leading up to the day she vanished could be like so many other women trying to leave a marriage. Renee held a good job with a salary enough to support herself and her children, in fact, Renee alone cared for her children while her husband was stationed overseas. During the investigation divorce papers were discovered in Renee's home office, leading us to believe she was serious about leaving her marriage this time.

Renee Pernice was close to her family, was in constant contact, and, as is often heard in cases of missing mothers, "she would NEVER leave her children." Most of the statements from Shon Pernice are in direct contrast with the woman and mother her family knew her to be. Perhaps Renee confided in her family or close friends about the upcoming divorce, or the problems in her marriage leading her to make the decision to finalize it.

A $25,000 reward has been offered for information that leads to where her remains.

The family is trying to appeal to the people that know, or have heard things on the fringes and could give them a tip, that's all they're asking for, according to Renee's father, Rick Pretz.

Anyone with information on Renee Pernice's disappearance is asked to call the TIPS Hotline at 816-474-TIPS.

Shon Pernice is also linked to another missing mother, and in my opinion, can be placed at her crime scene years earlier, Star Boomer.

Star Boomer has been missing since 1999, 10 years, and she left behind a son and a family that deserve some real, truthful answers. Shon Pernice was the last person known to see both women.

There is a $5,000 reward for information in Star Boomer's case. Call the TIPS Hotline or link to the family's private investigator's web site for the case.

• September 24, 2009: Tip Leads To New Search For Renee Pernice
• July 20, 2009: Renee Pernice's Mom Gets Custody Of Kids
• July 18, 2009: Bikers Ride For Renee Pernice's Family
• July 16, 2009: Shon Pernice Indicted In July 4 Incident
• July 5, 2009: Shon Pernice Arrested After Noisy Night
• July 2, 2009: Trial Date Set For Pernice On Gun-Theft Charge
• June 10, 2009: New Billboard Features Missing KC Mom
• February 25, 2009: Shon Pernice Arrested On Gun Theft Charge
• February 5, 2009: Pernice Case Now Death Investigation
• January 24, 2009: Does Truck Hold Key To Renee Pernice Case?
• January 6, 2009: Foul Play Suspected In Missing Mother Case

[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/  She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.  Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth  http://www.therothshow.com/ ]