Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Are You Wearing Their Shoes?


When any victim of abuse or stalking  allows their boyfriend or husband to hurt them, you are saying to that person what is happening to you is acceptable.  As a victim you truly believe the person is going to change.  In the majority of violent relationships, that never happens.

We taped a show on "Crime Wire" with two women whom candidly discussed how their "Prince Charmings" quickly turned into the nightmare from hell street.  On paper "he looked good and fit all of the qualifications I was looking for" says Barbara.  She would end her dangerous relationship in November of 2011 after 30 years of marriage.

Tracey Murphy would return to him, "the love of her life," eight times before she gained the strength and courage to leave.

Both women prepared a solid plan of action.  Was it easy for them? The answer is no.  For both Tracey and Barbara their breaking points came when they realized their lives were in danger and they were hanging by a thread.  They are alive today because of the information available in the book "Time's UP A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships."

If, after you've listened to the show and hear or see yourself in their shoes, NOW is the time for you to take action and create a specific safety plan.  A lot of helpful information you'll need to begin is located on the Website Document The  If you have questions, I can always be reached via email at

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Before you consider filing for a divorce or moving out, you better have a plan. He (the abuser) has one if you leave. And the last time I checked designer body bags were not considered a fashion statement.

Time's Up!

You cannot plead with an abuser and walk away from potentially life threatening situations if you are unable to learn the steps necessary to protect yourself. Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships will allow anyone to orchestrate what is needed to be safe.

"If you are a sophisticated, aware woman, you will find things you didn’t know to help yourself and others. If you are a stay-at-home-mom who has been controlled since a teenager and doesn’t know the first thing about leading an independent life, you’ll find all the details you need to escort you through the risk-filled and often baffling transition ahead . Time's Up by Susan Murphy Milano: is the best companion an abused woman can have."  Kathryn Casey, True-Crime Author

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example in English

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example in Spanish

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit document preparation and video example for Men who are being abused

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and
 specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals,
 victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing 
prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular 
contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : 
Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! 
a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime Susan is also the daughter of a Chicago Violent Crimes detective who murdered her mother before turning the gun on himself and committing suicide. 

1 comment:

Donna R. Gore said...

Keep saying it until you're blue in the face... if that's what it takes!
I have a feeling that Nancy Sinatra (aka "These boots are made for walkin'...and that's just what they'll do..."etc) would have the fortitude to do the EAA!

Remember... you have to do the work that's required in order to save your life! In other words, Susan can provide the road map for you... but YOU have to be the driver(and realize before you embark on the journey, that you are indeed worth the trouble!)


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