Remember the saying 'the devil made me do it?" It applies well to criminals of intimate partner violence and homicide as the evil side of an abuser releases an invisible stench. We as family, community and co-workers can not see the pure evil associated with an abuser because they are so clever at hiding it from everyone, with the exception of those they prey upon. Innocent women and their children are the abuser's easy targets.Why? The abuser works behind the scenes where they are unable to be detected by anyone but those in their home, and with whom they are, or were, in an intimate relationship.
Earlier this week Shon Pernice was indicted for the murder of his wife Renee Pernice, 35, last seen on New Years day in 2009, another victim who vanished without a trace, no different than Stacy Peterson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, Venus Stewart and many others who were mothers living in fear and would have never left without taking their children. And, yet, all 5 of the vanishing women's estranged husbands had come down with "abuser brain freeze." When your wife vanishes the brain locks up and the only response to why their wife and mother of the children is suddenly gone is, "I don't know but, we just want her to come home." In each case, if you review media interviews or read their direct quotes, they speak in the "catch me if you can." lingo.
Notice how their abuser body language is the same, how the corners of their mouths slightly turned up trying not to smile, their shoulders are slightly curved as they look into the camera. The eyes tell no lies. Each man has "dead eyes," dialated and widened a bit more than usual, trying to look concerened for the cameras as they attempt to spin pure hatred to words of compassion.
The terror each woman suffered was literally at the hands of an evil monster, a.k.a their loving husbands.
Turning into the devil, these abusers with predator like characteristics, in my opinion, thought for months as to how they would get away with murder. I remember finding hand written journals my father had written prior to murdering my mother. On several legal pads, in his chicken scratch, was page upon page of dates and times where he was tracking her every move. Then my father layed out his plan of action.
An abuser, in my expert opinion, does not allow their victim to go quietly from their life without some type of pain and suffereing. I'll use my mothers case as an example because I believe it applies to the majority of victims killed by their partners.
My father lured my mother to my childhood home making her believe she had to sign a legal document. Once she entered the home he pulled a gun out, got her in a head lock, dragged her up the four steps to the kitchen and told her how she was going to die. He taunted her with his angry words. I can hear him say"Roberta, your going to die, your a bitch, I gave you everything, Its time to pay for leaving me" . Forget that this veteran law enforcement officer was the king of his domain or that he was loved by everyone who knew him.
My mothers eyes were no doubt filled with the worst human terror a person suffers hours, minutes or seconds before their life is taken. Still in a headlock for what must have seemed like hours, and more likely only several minutes, according to neighbors accounts and a time line of events I had created, without a doubt my mother pleaded for her life. But, in true to form abuser behavior, my father wanted his face to be the last my mother saw when he pulled the trigger. And then he took his own life.
For Venus Stewart,
who vanished while walking out to her mailbox on April 26, 2010, I think more than one person may have been involved. Her husband, in my opinion. likely enlisted the help of someone. She was caught by surprise. Once secured for transport and still alive, one person had her legs and feet the other her held the upper body and she was thrown into the car, driven to a different location where the abuser made certain his face was also the last his victim saw before she was killed.When Renee Pernic
e vanished mysteriously, as her husband Shon would have the world believe, he, in my opinion, made certain the children were out of the home. In my opinion, his experience as a trained fire fighter came in handy when he, too, likely made ceratin Renee knew she was about to be killed. Pernice was angry. Renee was ending the marriage and he wanted her to pay. In "real time violent partner homicide" the abuser is easily excited, sickly arroused, as they speak to their victim and tell them they are about to die. Abusers get off on the power of final control over this persons life knowing their face, too, is the last she will ever see as they take a final breathe.The bodies of all five women have yet to be found. In three out of the five cases I do believe they will never be recovered, and pray I am wrong.
Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS
