Second Hand Smoke

If you are in a domestic violence relationship, especially if you have children, no matter their age, you are passing on the same fears in their lives, similar to second hand smoke. A child growing up in an abusive home grows up to live without hope and in fear. And they will either become a victim or an abuser when they grow up. Please, if have time, listen to yesterday's broadcast with Pastor Neil Schori and Tanya Warrington.

It is simple, turn on your computer sound and the show will automatically play. If you want to download it to a podcast go Here. Or, consider joining a support group who will be waiting provide information and guidence on your journey to a life without violence.

Survivor’s Guilt- feelings of guilt while mom or other siblings are being beaten.

Emotional shut down from seeing a parent beaten, shoved, chased, or verbally abused.

Constant sadness at what is happening in their home. The child must cope alone with the violence.

Overwhelming feeling of responsibility. Usually the child feels they did something to cause the abuse.

Nervous system overload/burnout. Repeated stress and trauma results in an unhealthy separation from the child’s feelings.

Despair and depression. The child feels as though the conflicts are never going to end and the situation will never change.

Having to go to school, concentrate, taking tests after a horrible night of fighting or while working about a parents safety.

Angry outbursts by the child or stepping in to stop the abuse. Child takes on “caregiver” role.

Numbing the sadness, pain and loss with food, drugs, alcohol when their home is not a safe, secure, predictable place.

Difficulty sleeping/wanting to sleep through the fights. Wanting to escape from the house.


Absolute powerlessness to stop the attacker or save loved ones.

Being repeatedly thrown to a state of panic/confusion (i.e. not knowing what to do…they want a way to stop this… somebody’s going to die).

Unbearable feeling of isolation, no one to tell, no one will believe, no one will help.

Stomach searing; gut wrenching, body crumpling pain, from watching those that they love hurt over and over.

Exhaustion from lack of sleep during night battles. Unable to function productively during the day

Self Defense: Protecting Yourself Against Violence or Abuse

Everyday, people of all cultures, races and economic background are victims of violence and abuse. These actions can range from physical abuse, to emotional or sexual abuse, and can have a significant impact on family, friends or anyone who is witnesses to the violence. Whether you are involved in a violent relationship or are the victim of a random attack, it’s important for you to know how to protect yourself; how to get out of that situation as quickly as possible.

Martial arts expert Jose Fernandez of the YWCA Capital Dojo leads self defense training classes for men and women, and teaches you tips on how to make some quick and smart moves in an emergency situation.

Fernandez suggests first off, enrolling in a self defense class, in order to become accustomed to reacting to violence. Most people immediately freeze when they are attacked, but taking self defense sessions repeatedly will help you be prepared to make split second decisions. Besides self defense class, he recommends a few things for you to think about that can help you defuse a violent situation.

Try to remain calm and speak in a softer, even tone.
Keep your hands up, try not to tense up.
Maintain eye contact and keep them busy with your voice
With a rise in dating violence, he offers a few tips to protect yourself
Take your time in getting to know the person better
Avoid being alone with the person in the beginning, plan your dates in crowded places.
Get to know their friends, introduce them to your friends.
If you are alone with the person, avoid alcohol.

Video Link Tips:http://safety.amw.com/home/protect-yourself-against-violence-or-abuse/

Check out the YWCA for more information on what you can do if you or someone you know is a victim of violence, and how you can get involved in preventing it.

(source: http://www.amw.com